Tonight's the first of many sad sad nights. Or angry nights. Maybe happy nights. It all depends on which dancers go home, who you're voting for, and what atrocity Cat is wearing. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance.....dance)!
This dress wouldn't be bad if it wasn't the color of POOP.
We open with whispering......"Save the dancer, save the world....." that's a sentiment I can get behind. I'd much rather us save the dancers than the cheerleaders. I immediately think this is a Shane Sparks number, and that thought makes me soooooo happy. Now all we have to do is get him back at the judging table.
We want YOU!
So they're dancing to "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas, and it starts out fading in and out to different dancers all dressed as homeless people with raccoon eyes. But then! The hip hop squad arrives to save the day!
Help them Hip Hop Squad, you are their only hope!
The hip hopping is so good that it totally cures the homeless! Actually it looks like some green "fairy" dust cures the homeless. Well, "cure" may not be the right word since they end up looking like strung out crack whores with raccoon eyes.
I feel like I'm watching some sort of demented Lifetime movie.
That was a fun way to start the night. Cat jumps right into it, explaining to us again how tonight is going to work. I am not going to go over it any more. She tells us it's going to be really rough for the judges, so we should give them a little bit of love. Do we have to?
But before we get to any results, we have filler to air! Cat tells us how tough the last few days have been for the dancers. They've had new partnerships to navigate, and most of them have never even worked with partners before. So of course we need a montage about that!
We get little clips of the guys "sneaking" up on the girls to reveal the partnership. I'm sure that was totally spontaneous and not staged AT ALL. Max continues the tradition of ballroom guys acting skeevy by telling us the best part about Kayla is that she's a hot blond chick.
Don't make me barf on you
And then Cat wants to share with us the key rules to a great partnership. Rule Number One: Respect each other's boundaries.
I totally respect you(r husband. Please don't hurt me, John!)
Rule Number Two: Communication is essential. Followed by a clip of Janette babbling to Brandon in Spanish, and Caitlin correcting Jason on his grammar. Fun!
Rule Number Three: It's important to feel comfortable with your partner. And Ade lets us know that Melissa is fond of letting out raunchy burps. Yum.
Poor thing. You know old people do have problems with their digestion.
After one really nasty one she's asks him what she had for lunch. Oh No! Alzheimer's too?!? Next she'll be asking Ade to wipe her ass for her or something.
Rule Number Four: Shared interests. Time to check in with Ashley and Kupono who both apparently make animal noises. Bit I'm totally distracted from anything that Kupono is saying because he talks like he's just drank an entire bottle of Nyquil. Medicine head.
Or Bobble-Head
But above all, Cat tells us, it takes hard work and perspiration. Followed by clips of the boys sweating. I wish I could say it's a sexy sort of sweating, but sadly, no. They have rivers of sweat flowing off their bodies, grossing out their partners. Vitolio even hugs Asuka with his nasty sweaty self.
You know it's sad really, because there are certain guys that can look really really sexy when they sweat.
Woof! Come give me a sweaty hug!
Alright. Time to get down to business. The first three couples are out on stage waiting to hear if they are safe or in the bottom three. They are Max and Kayla, Evan and Randi, and Phillip and Jeanine.
Let's start with Max and Kayla. The judges had multiple orgasms over them last night and gave Kayla a head to toe tongue bath after their performance, but was the audience feeling the heat? We have to wait to find out.
Moving on to Evan and Randi. Evan busted out some passion that will surely earn him an ass-whooping at the hands of Randi's husband. And the dancing was great too. But did people pick up the phone to vote for the nerdy cutie? Cat's not telling yet.
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Comments (15)
Totally agree with you about Tony...
but I really think Karla should have gone home. I liked Paris, and I thought her solo was better than just doing that stupid standing up split over and over again. Though I know diddly squat about dance, so maybe they did send the right person home.
1 of 15 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on June 15, 2009 10:23 AM
Asuka is waaaay over-rated. She's only there to satisfy Nigel's creepy lust.
Phillip is over-rated, too. I'm looking forward to seeing him fail at, say, a waltz or something.
The right pair went home, but I didn't really care about any of those who were in the crosshairs.
Kupono, to me, looks like he could be Wade Robson's son...or younger brother. Especially in the picture you used (where he has a Muppet stuck to his shoulder.)
Holy hotness! Nice photo choice of Hugh!
2 of 15 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on June 15, 2009 10:35 AM
I wonder why they cut Ryan in order to keep Tony. Ryan wa ready and would have been much more entertaining. I'm sure they are trying to reach a certain balance - and they probably put in several weaker people to ensure that the best ones won't get cut before people get to know them.
Thanks for another fine recap!
3 of 15 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 15, 2009 11:19 AM
Great recap, as usual!
fire@will, I assume that cutting Ryan and keeping Tony were not related. Their process is a 'casting' process - Nigel even said, when talking to the Asuka and Paris, they were 'casting' the show with a variety of types. Ryan and Tony are not the same type. Ryan was cut likely because he and Evan are the same type. Who knows who went home instead of Tony?
Most importantly, PottyMouth, I LOVE how you find a way to bring Hugh Jackman into the recaps. Always a delightful and very welcome surprise!
4 of 15 | Posted by rjfrankel | Posted on June 15, 2009 12:07 PM
love you love you love you! Amazing job with the recaps to one of my favorite shows!
5 of 15 | Posted by fawm316 | Posted on June 15, 2009 12:14 PM
"Cat tells us how tough the last few days have been for the dancers. They've had new partnerships to navigate, and most of them have never even worked with partners before."
Umm...except for the routines during Vegas Week? Wtf Cat...
"this week it's the tango. Performed by Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo...I love watching the tango. Alright, you got me I love to watch dance. All dance. I mean all dance that is good. Of course this sent me off on a half hour tangent looking through you tube videos of tangos."
If you liked that, they were on Superstars of Dance (i think). You can probably find more vids of them.
I thought Tony was the right choice to leave, although i kinda liked his solo. I was disappointed that they kept Asuka over Paris. I didn't think Paris was at all deserving to go home, and she outdanced Tony in hip-hop-his own style.
6 of 15 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 15, 2009 4:27 PM
I didn't care who went home for the girls, but I'm glad Tony left. Nigel should've known better. But he did his part I guess. Gave others one more week.
Okay there's a rumor that Katie Holmes is gonna dance to a Tyce choreography. I do not know what to think of that.
7 of 15 | Posted by chibby | Posted on June 15, 2009 5:18 PM
As a non dancer, can someone tell me what exactly is a dancer doing wrong that results in sickled feet? Are they poiting too much? not enough? are they just cursed with ugly feet? What?
8 of 15 | Posted by brat | Posted on June 15, 2009 9:49 PM
Brat: Sickled feet are when you sort of roll your foot a little and put the weight on the outside edge.
9 of 15 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on June 16, 2009 5:58 AM
I'm in the process of moving, and my DVR hasn't been hooked up for a week - eep! But reading your recaps makes me feel like I was almost there. Thanks for the good work! :)
10 of 15 | Posted by crmsnkatt | Posted on June 16, 2009 7:13 AM
I didn't care about either of the people who went home - I liked Tony as a person, but as a dancer he was in way over his head and I agree that he shouldn't have been let in this year.
11 of 15 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on June 16, 2009 9:33 AM
Snootchy Bootches - thanks for filling me in on what sickle feet are - now I will know what to look for.
12 of 15 | Posted by brat | Posted on June 16, 2009 9:42 AM
It seemed to me that the right people went home. We'll have to see.
I know 3 people who auditioned for this show over the years, all making it to the last day of Vegas week and not getting onto the show. I'm convinced that, at least in some cases, they let lessers on, so that there are some obvious choices available for who should go first. Just my layman's opinion but I think it makes the most sense re: why some of the dancers who make the top 20 are sometimes decidedly... how shall we say... not as talented as some that didn't make it.
Caitlin does look like Meredith Baxter! And Randi looks like Tatum O'Neal. If we get bored later in the season we can give them all celebrity names and call this show I'm a Celebrity, Please Don't Vote Me Off.
13 of 15 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on June 16, 2009 11:46 AM
my personal opinion is that Randi looks like Chelsea from the Big Brother season that Adam won. She also vaguely looks like another girl that auditioned this season. Don't remember her name, but I remember that she had a sob story (don't they all?)
14 of 15 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 16, 2009 2:02 PM
alex_w: Really all three of those girls were weak. I knew they wouldn’t get rid of Asuka since she gives Nigel a big ole boner, and Karla….well, she’s boring but has better technique than Paris.
cattyfan: I like Phillip, but I do agree that he could be in trouble if they get a waltz or fox trot or something. I remember him being very stiff in ballroom in the Vegas week show.
fire@will: I think you may be right about the weaker people. I think it’s a load of crap, but probably true.
rjfrankel: The man is my own personal addiction. I can’t seem to help myself.
fawm316: Thanks! I’m glad you’re enjoying them!
tv freak: I tried watching that Superstars of Dance, but the format was so god awful I had to stop. It’s a shame because it had potential.
chibby: Veeeee-ry interesting. Perhaps on an upcoming results show?
brat: I see Snootchy answered your question (Thanks Snootchy!). Honestly, a lot of people probably wouldn’t even care about it, but my dance teacher had a MAJOR bug up her ass about sickled feet, alignment, all that fun stuff. So I get a bug up my ass about it too. Really any good dance teacher should have beaten that crap out of Paris years ago.
Snootchy: Thanks again!!
crmsnkatt: Awww, I’m glad to help. I don’t think I could survive without MY dvr!!
georgiababe: You and I are on the same page.
Memememe: Hilarious! But wouldn’t it be I Look Like a Celebrity?
tv freak: Oh, that’s a good call!
You guys are awesome – thanks so much for reading and commenting.
SWAK, PottyMouth
15 of 15 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on June 17, 2009 7:24 AM