Finally Phillip and Jeanine. They opened the show, and sent me immediately to my happy place. Jeanine impressed the hell out of the judges by keeping up with Phillip and making her own mark on the competition. Did they earn enough votes to stay out of the bottom?
So I'm a little worried here. Out of these three couples, if anyone's going to be in the bottom I would want it to be Max and Kayla, but I don't think that's going to happen. I don't think they deserve to be in the bottom, I just liked the other two routines better.
Okay, here we go. Cat starts with Max & Kayla. They are safe!! Good for them, but CRAP!! One of the other two is going to be in the bottom? That's a load of crap. I hope to hell that Cat is pulling one of those lame fakeouts where everyone is safe.
Evan and Randi. Safe. Phew. Phillip? Jeanine? You're safe too!!

YAY!!

How come my Big Mac never looks like that?
After the break it's time for the next group to find out their fate. This time we have four couples. Jason and Caitlin, Ade and Melissa, Kupono and Ashley, and Tony and Paris. Well, it's easy to figure out one of the bottom three from that grouping.

Caitlin and Jason danced a Bollywood number. The judges loved it, and so did the viewers! They are safe. Melissa and Ade danced a beautiful pas de deux, plus Ade gave Melissa her yearly gyn exam at the same time. Will the audience appreciate his versatility? Yep. They are safe.
Ashley and Kupono were crash test dummies a la Wade Robson. Did they crash into America's hearts? Tony and Paris' stank stank. They will definitely be in the bottom, but will Kupono and Ashley join them?
What the fuck is on his shoulder?
Ashley and Kupono are safe, so Tony and Paris are all alone in the bottom three for now. Paris needs to shake this off and get ready for her solo. The girl looks like she's given up already.

Cat asks Adam if he's surprised by this. Of course he's not. He does tell them that he's seen much love for them while Twittering. But he thinks it's more because of being charming than actually performing well. Adam tells them it's a numbers game, someone's got to be in the bottom, and they just need to bring it in their solos. Have I mentioned how much I love Adam?

I had no idea they cast Cameron Diaz in the Kojak remake.
Time for the last three couples; Vitolio and Asuka, Brandon and Janette, and Jonathan and Karla. Only one of them will be safe.

I call bottom, safe, bottom
Asuka and Vitolio danced a weak Broadway number with zero personality. Is there any doubt that they will be in the bottom? Nope. Does it shock Mary? Nope.
Mary is so wise. She tells them they have to bring it. They have to dance like they've never danced before. But most importantly, "It's not over til it's over." Pearls of wisdom, people.
Cat tells us that leaves us with two couples. One is safe and one will be heading into the bottom three. I am so glad she is there to do the complicated math for me. Subtraction makes my head hurt. On a separate note, what is up with the huge zippers on Brandon's pants?

Is his schlong that big?
Janette and Brandon danced a fox trot and gave me a craving for strawberry milk. Jonathan and Karla danced the cha cha and Karla thought that cute and hot meant the same thing. I think we've established they do not.
That mistake is gonna cost her, because her and Jonathan are the final couple in the bottom three. Why isn't anyone asked if they are surprised by them landing in the bottom?
While the dancers get ready to perform their Gestapo dances, Cat has a special treat for us. Every week they are going to feature different dance styles from around the world (love it!); this week it's the tango. Performed by Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo.


It's very dramatic and serious. I love watching the tango. Alright, you got me I love to watch dance. All dance. I mean all dance that is good. Of course this sent me off on a half hour tangent looking through you tube videos of tangos. I took a little trip down memory lane, and thought you might like to as well. Remember Allison and Ivan's tango? Here it is again.
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Comments (15)
Totally agree with you about Tony...
but I really think Karla should have gone home. I liked Paris, and I thought her solo was better than just doing that stupid standing up split over and over again. Though I know diddly squat about dance, so maybe they did send the right person home.
1 of 15 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on June 15, 2009 10:23 AM
Asuka is waaaay over-rated. She's only there to satisfy Nigel's creepy lust.
Phillip is over-rated, too. I'm looking forward to seeing him fail at, say, a waltz or something.
The right pair went home, but I didn't really care about any of those who were in the crosshairs.
Kupono, to me, looks like he could be Wade Robson's son...or younger brother. Especially in the picture you used (where he has a Muppet stuck to his shoulder.)
Holy hotness! Nice photo choice of Hugh!
2 of 15 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on June 15, 2009 10:35 AM
I wonder why they cut Ryan in order to keep Tony. Ryan wa ready and would have been much more entertaining. I'm sure they are trying to reach a certain balance - and they probably put in several weaker people to ensure that the best ones won't get cut before people get to know them.
Thanks for another fine recap!
3 of 15 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 15, 2009 11:19 AM
Great recap, as usual!
fire@will, I assume that cutting Ryan and keeping Tony were not related. Their process is a 'casting' process - Nigel even said, when talking to the Asuka and Paris, they were 'casting' the show with a variety of types. Ryan and Tony are not the same type. Ryan was cut likely because he and Evan are the same type. Who knows who went home instead of Tony?
Most importantly, PottyMouth, I LOVE how you find a way to bring Hugh Jackman into the recaps. Always a delightful and very welcome surprise!
4 of 15 | Posted by rjfrankel | Posted on June 15, 2009 12:07 PM
love you love you love you! Amazing job with the recaps to one of my favorite shows!
5 of 15 | Posted by fawm316 | Posted on June 15, 2009 12:14 PM
"Cat tells us how tough the last few days have been for the dancers. They've had new partnerships to navigate, and most of them have never even worked with partners before."
Umm...except for the routines during Vegas Week? Wtf Cat...
"this week it's the tango. Performed by Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo...I love watching the tango. Alright, you got me I love to watch dance. All dance. I mean all dance that is good. Of course this sent me off on a half hour tangent looking through you tube videos of tangos."
If you liked that, they were on Superstars of Dance (i think). You can probably find more vids of them.
I thought Tony was the right choice to leave, although i kinda liked his solo. I was disappointed that they kept Asuka over Paris. I didn't think Paris was at all deserving to go home, and she outdanced Tony in hip-hop-his own style.
6 of 15 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 15, 2009 4:27 PM
I didn't care who went home for the girls, but I'm glad Tony left. Nigel should've known better. But he did his part I guess. Gave others one more week.
Okay there's a rumor that Katie Holmes is gonna dance to a Tyce choreography. I do not know what to think of that.
7 of 15 | Posted by chibby | Posted on June 15, 2009 5:18 PM
As a non dancer, can someone tell me what exactly is a dancer doing wrong that results in sickled feet? Are they poiting too much? not enough? are they just cursed with ugly feet? What?
8 of 15 | Posted by brat | Posted on June 15, 2009 9:49 PM
Brat: Sickled feet are when you sort of roll your foot a little and put the weight on the outside edge.
9 of 15 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on June 16, 2009 5:58 AM
I'm in the process of moving, and my DVR hasn't been hooked up for a week - eep! But reading your recaps makes me feel like I was almost there. Thanks for the good work! :)
10 of 15 | Posted by crmsnkatt | Posted on June 16, 2009 7:13 AM
I didn't care about either of the people who went home - I liked Tony as a person, but as a dancer he was in way over his head and I agree that he shouldn't have been let in this year.
11 of 15 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on June 16, 2009 9:33 AM
Snootchy Bootches - thanks for filling me in on what sickle feet are - now I will know what to look for.
12 of 15 | Posted by brat | Posted on June 16, 2009 9:42 AM
It seemed to me that the right people went home. We'll have to see.
I know 3 people who auditioned for this show over the years, all making it to the last day of Vegas week and not getting onto the show. I'm convinced that, at least in some cases, they let lessers on, so that there are some obvious choices available for who should go first. Just my layman's opinion but I think it makes the most sense re: why some of the dancers who make the top 20 are sometimes decidedly... how shall we say... not as talented as some that didn't make it.
Caitlin does look like Meredith Baxter! And Randi looks like Tatum O'Neal. If we get bored later in the season we can give them all celebrity names and call this show I'm a Celebrity, Please Don't Vote Me Off.
13 of 15 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on June 16, 2009 11:46 AM
my personal opinion is that Randi looks like Chelsea from the Big Brother season that Adam won. She also vaguely looks like another girl that auditioned this season. Don't remember her name, but I remember that she had a sob story (don't they all?)
14 of 15 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 16, 2009 2:02 PM
alex_w: Really all three of those girls were weak. I knew they wouldn’t get rid of Asuka since she gives Nigel a big ole boner, and Karla….well, she’s boring but has better technique than Paris.
cattyfan: I like Phillip, but I do agree that he could be in trouble if they get a waltz or fox trot or something. I remember him being very stiff in ballroom in the Vegas week show.
fire@will: I think you may be right about the weaker people. I think it’s a load of crap, but probably true.
rjfrankel: The man is my own personal addiction. I can’t seem to help myself.
fawm316: Thanks! I’m glad you’re enjoying them!
tv freak: I tried watching that Superstars of Dance, but the format was so god awful I had to stop. It’s a shame because it had potential.
chibby: Veeeee-ry interesting. Perhaps on an upcoming results show?
brat: I see Snootchy answered your question (Thanks Snootchy!). Honestly, a lot of people probably wouldn’t even care about it, but my dance teacher had a MAJOR bug up her ass about sickled feet, alignment, all that fun stuff. So I get a bug up my ass about it too. Really any good dance teacher should have beaten that crap out of Paris years ago.
Snootchy: Thanks again!!
crmsnkatt: Awww, I’m glad to help. I don’t think I could survive without MY dvr!!
georgiababe: You and I are on the same page.
Memememe: Hilarious! But wouldn’t it be I Look Like a Celebrity?
tv freak: Oh, that’s a good call!
You guys are awesome – thanks so much for reading and commenting.
SWAK, PottyMouth
15 of 15 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on June 17, 2009 7:24 AM