I had actually started out looking for a video of the masochism tango - the outfits in this number made me immediately think of that song. If you've never heard it, you should check it out. It's funny as hell.
But then I found the Allison and Ivan tango and had to share. I love watching videos of old awesome numbers!!! And this was their first one - I think it was the third performance show of the season. Yowza.
If you pulled the bow, would the whole dress fall off?
No more time for reminiscing; get your shotguns ready because it's time for Paris, Tony, Asuka, Vitolio, Karla and Jonathan to dance for their lives. Who will get bagged and tagged tonight?
Up first is Paris. She tries. I guess. I didn't think it was all that impressive, but I don't really like her and her sickled feet. She also does that whole trying to be sexy thing at the end of the dance which always bugs me. She better pray that one of the other girls falls on ass or something.
Up next is Tony. Oh my lord. What the fuck is he doing?
HO-LY Crap y'all!! He's doing the Rerun dance! Is he serious with this?
I think Rerun actually did a better job than Tony.
Let's move along to Asuka. She's at a disadvantage here because she's actually used to dancing with a partner. It feels all over the place, and I swear I thought her boob was going to pop out at the end. Way to Nigel's vote Asuka!
Vitolio's turn. He comes out with a leap that should ensure his place in next week's show. It wasn't a wow solo, but this kid can dance. He's not going anywhere.
Time for Karla's solo. This girl must have been watching reruns of season one because she's doing Melody's signature move.
It was good, not great. But it should be enough to keep her here.
Finally we have Jonathan. Watching him dance I'm actually worried that we may end up saddled with Tony for another week. If this kid doesn't kick it into high gear he's going to be toast next week.
Cat sends the judges backstage to deliberate. Do they really need to? While we're waiting for their decision we get to fast forward watch Sean Kingston having a heart attack singing his hit song "Fire Burning".
I don't understand why we have to have these musical guests. They have nothing to do with dance; in fact, this guy's background dancers would never make it on to this show. I wish they'd give us another dance performance instead.
Wow. That really sucked.
Results time. Ladies first. Nigel says the judges were unanimous in their decision. He asks Karla to step forward. They judges thought she was very good this evening but she needs to be careful that her solo isn't just a series of steps. Or crotch shots. She's safe.
Down to Paris and Asuka. Nigel tells them that the judges have tried to take more than just their performance this evening into account. WHAT? Then why even make them do it? That's horse shit. It's also based on who else in the competition.
So Asuka stays because she is the only ballroom girl. You know, I actually agree with the decision to send Paris home, but not for the reasons Nigel's spouting. Based purely on the fact that I think she is the weakest girl.
Even she knows she's the weakest of the bunch
They show the "so sad you're leaving" montage, but they don't really have enough footage yet for that, do they? Anyway, adieu Paris! Bon voyage!
Moving on to the guys. Unanimous decision again. They didn't think that any of the guys danced particularly well tonight. Nigel tells Vitolio that we still haven't seen his personality. He better bring it with him next week. Safe.
Down to Tony and Jonathan. We all know Tony's going home. That's not a shocker, is it?
You know, at the end of the day this sort of pisses me off. Not that Tony's going home because he's way out of his league. The fact that they put him on the show at all aggravates me. They should have told him to get more training and come back in a year or two. He simply wasn't ready for the show yet.
My dad's gonna be pissed
And that's it for the first performance round. What did you think? Happy with the judges' decision? What will next week bring us? I can't wait to see.
SWAK, PottyMouth
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Comments (15)
Totally agree with you about Tony...
but I really think Karla should have gone home. I liked Paris, and I thought her solo was better than just doing that stupid standing up split over and over again. Though I know diddly squat about dance, so maybe they did send the right person home.
1 of 15 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on June 15, 2009 10:23 AM
Asuka is waaaay over-rated. She's only there to satisfy Nigel's creepy lust.
Phillip is over-rated, too. I'm looking forward to seeing him fail at, say, a waltz or something.
The right pair went home, but I didn't really care about any of those who were in the crosshairs.
Kupono, to me, looks like he could be Wade Robson's son...or younger brother. Especially in the picture you used (where he has a Muppet stuck to his shoulder.)
Holy hotness! Nice photo choice of Hugh!
2 of 15 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on June 15, 2009 10:35 AM
I wonder why they cut Ryan in order to keep Tony. Ryan wa ready and would have been much more entertaining. I'm sure they are trying to reach a certain balance - and they probably put in several weaker people to ensure that the best ones won't get cut before people get to know them.
Thanks for another fine recap!
3 of 15 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 15, 2009 11:19 AM
Great recap, as usual!
fire@will, I assume that cutting Ryan and keeping Tony were not related. Their process is a 'casting' process - Nigel even said, when talking to the Asuka and Paris, they were 'casting' the show with a variety of types. Ryan and Tony are not the same type. Ryan was cut likely because he and Evan are the same type. Who knows who went home instead of Tony?
Most importantly, PottyMouth, I LOVE how you find a way to bring Hugh Jackman into the recaps. Always a delightful and very welcome surprise!
4 of 15 | Posted by rjfrankel | Posted on June 15, 2009 12:07 PM
love you love you love you! Amazing job with the recaps to one of my favorite shows!
5 of 15 | Posted by fawm316 | Posted on June 15, 2009 12:14 PM
"Cat tells us how tough the last few days have been for the dancers. They've had new partnerships to navigate, and most of them have never even worked with partners before."
Umm...except for the routines during Vegas Week? Wtf Cat...
"this week it's the tango. Performed by Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo...I love watching the tango. Alright, you got me I love to watch dance. All dance. I mean all dance that is good. Of course this sent me off on a half hour tangent looking through you tube videos of tangos."
If you liked that, they were on Superstars of Dance (i think). You can probably find more vids of them.
I thought Tony was the right choice to leave, although i kinda liked his solo. I was disappointed that they kept Asuka over Paris. I didn't think Paris was at all deserving to go home, and she outdanced Tony in hip-hop-his own style.
6 of 15 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 15, 2009 4:27 PM
I didn't care who went home for the girls, but I'm glad Tony left. Nigel should've known better. But he did his part I guess. Gave others one more week.
Okay there's a rumor that Katie Holmes is gonna dance to a Tyce choreography. I do not know what to think of that.
7 of 15 | Posted by chibby | Posted on June 15, 2009 5:18 PM
As a non dancer, can someone tell me what exactly is a dancer doing wrong that results in sickled feet? Are they poiting too much? not enough? are they just cursed with ugly feet? What?
8 of 15 | Posted by brat | Posted on June 15, 2009 9:49 PM
Brat: Sickled feet are when you sort of roll your foot a little and put the weight on the outside edge.
9 of 15 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on June 16, 2009 5:58 AM
I'm in the process of moving, and my DVR hasn't been hooked up for a week - eep! But reading your recaps makes me feel like I was almost there. Thanks for the good work! :)
10 of 15 | Posted by crmsnkatt | Posted on June 16, 2009 7:13 AM
I didn't care about either of the people who went home - I liked Tony as a person, but as a dancer he was in way over his head and I agree that he shouldn't have been let in this year.
11 of 15 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on June 16, 2009 9:33 AM
Snootchy Bootches - thanks for filling me in on what sickle feet are - now I will know what to look for.
12 of 15 | Posted by brat | Posted on June 16, 2009 9:42 AM
It seemed to me that the right people went home. We'll have to see.
I know 3 people who auditioned for this show over the years, all making it to the last day of Vegas week and not getting onto the show. I'm convinced that, at least in some cases, they let lessers on, so that there are some obvious choices available for who should go first. Just my layman's opinion but I think it makes the most sense re: why some of the dancers who make the top 20 are sometimes decidedly... how shall we say... not as talented as some that didn't make it.
Caitlin does look like Meredith Baxter! And Randi looks like Tatum O'Neal. If we get bored later in the season we can give them all celebrity names and call this show I'm a Celebrity, Please Don't Vote Me Off.
13 of 15 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on June 16, 2009 11:46 AM
my personal opinion is that Randi looks like Chelsea from the Big Brother season that Adam won. She also vaguely looks like another girl that auditioned this season. Don't remember her name, but I remember that she had a sob story (don't they all?)
14 of 15 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 16, 2009 2:02 PM
alex_w: Really all three of those girls were weak. I knew they wouldn’t get rid of Asuka since she gives Nigel a big ole boner, and Karla….well, she’s boring but has better technique than Paris.
cattyfan: I like Phillip, but I do agree that he could be in trouble if they get a waltz or fox trot or something. I remember him being very stiff in ballroom in the Vegas week show.
fire@will: I think you may be right about the weaker people. I think it’s a load of crap, but probably true.
rjfrankel: The man is my own personal addiction. I can’t seem to help myself.
fawm316: Thanks! I’m glad you’re enjoying them!
tv freak: I tried watching that Superstars of Dance, but the format was so god awful I had to stop. It’s a shame because it had potential.
chibby: Veeeee-ry interesting. Perhaps on an upcoming results show?
brat: I see Snootchy answered your question (Thanks Snootchy!). Honestly, a lot of people probably wouldn’t even care about it, but my dance teacher had a MAJOR bug up her ass about sickled feet, alignment, all that fun stuff. So I get a bug up my ass about it too. Really any good dance teacher should have beaten that crap out of Paris years ago.
Snootchy: Thanks again!!
crmsnkatt: Awww, I’m glad to help. I don’t think I could survive without MY dvr!!
georgiababe: You and I are on the same page.
Memememe: Hilarious! But wouldn’t it be I Look Like a Celebrity?
tv freak: Oh, that’s a good call!
You guys are awesome – thanks so much for reading and commenting.
SWAK, PottyMouth
15 of 15 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on June 17, 2009 7:24 AM