If Vitolio wasn't dancing he would be the lead singer in a band. Ummmm, okay. Asuka says she has heard him sing, and the way she says it makes me think that his chances of becoming a singer are slim to none. This week they are dancing a Mandy Moore jazz piece to "Heartbreaker". Mandy is calling it Thrash. Rocker. Jazz. Because when I think of Thrash, the name I think of is Pat Benatar, natch.
Asuka is out of her element her, and even though she tries to hold it together, she ends up getting upset. Vitolio is a sweetheart, comforting her and telling her they will work together as a couple to make it happen. That's really sweet of him, but I still don't like her.
I'm not digging this number either. They're not really hitting it hard enough or sharp enough for me. I'd like to place all that blame on Asuka, but Vitolio isn't that great in this number either. For me, they're just bleh.

Asuka's costume looks like they bought it out of a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog
Part of the problem is that they have absolutely no chemistry. I am so bored watching them. Cat can't believe these are the same cutie pies from the clip. She talks about Vitolio being there for Asuka, and he says he had to be there for her, and all the girlies in the audience go awwwwwwwww. And I go Yaaaaaaawn.
Nigel thinks the routine was fantastic. I think maybe Nigel might be on drugs or something.

I love you guys! Wait! Where are you?
Mary thought it was really good, but not as good as last week. There were parts when they should have been in sync and they weren't, she expected more from them. Toni thinks they have the potential to develop into an extremely powerful couple. She also thinks that they should not let their technique get in the way of their emotions. Gawd.
Ade and Melissa are up next. Melissa's exciting career choice if she wasn't dancing? Pilates instructor. Ade would be a sound engineer, and we know that already because he's mentioned it in another set of filler clips. Thanks for sharing guys!
I know that some of you have mentioned that you actually like all this filler crap, but I fucking hate it. I could care less about what they want to be when dance is gone, or what "secret" we should know about them. All I want to know, is can they dance? Can they dance well? And can they keep their mouths shut when getting their critiques?
So Melissa and Ade are dancing a rumba. Tony Meredith is the choreographer, and he tells us it's the international love dance between a man and a woman. It requires sensuality. And technique. And emotion. Tony thinks they have to work on everything.

Thank god for Melissa and Ade. They kill this dance. They've got the technique down, especially the hip action the rumba requires, and they're selling the passion and emotion all the way through. I really liked this alot.
You know what's going to be interesting though? When they get something that's really outside of their element. I mean, everything they've had so far lends itself fairly well to Melissa's ballet training. What's going to happen when they get hip hop or krumping? I'm curious to see.
Anyway, let's go over to the judges and see what they thought. Nigel pervs out immediately talking about how terrific Melissa's body is. I mean, she does have a fabulous body, but Nigel needs to stop talking about it. He does, going from Nigel horndog mode to Nigel corndog mode saying, "What a difference Ade makes." Oh Nigel, you're just so witty.
In all seriousness, he gives props to Ade for his partnership, and it's well deserved. Mary reminds us that Tony said selling the emotion would be one of the toughest parts of this routine. Well, she's buying, yes she is.

I'd like a five dollar foot long please.
It appears that this number may have given Toni some hot flashes. She thinks the sensuality was gorgeous, and Melissa's ballet training really worked for this. But since Nigel and Mary already talked about Melissa and Ade, Toni's going to talk about Tony. She's seen him and Melanie perform live. "You were hot because they were hot." Do we really need to go over the definition of hot AGAIN?!? Alright, I will, you have left me no other option.

HOT

NOT
Please don't make me have to go over this again.
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Comments (18)
When they talk about the Viennese Waltz being the kiss of death, I always remember Benji and Donyelle's that was freakin' awesome! I always think of the Foxtrot as the kiss of death because I tend to find it sooooo boring!
1 of 18 | Posted by shibaby | Posted on June 28, 2009 12:55 PM
I totally agree with you about Caitlin and Jason again this week. I think they are both very good dancers individually, but the routines they get don't really seem to work. I often find that they're not synchronized, sloppy and just not believable. I am assuming that they're both a couple of the "Chosen Ones" for this season, along with Kayla.
It's like Will last year - they completely ignored his mistakes, ratcheted other dancers in a cruel, unconstructive manner (Matt, Chris, Mark) and slobbered all over Will. This year, the slobbering is directed at Kayla, but I call BS on Mary for saying that Caitlin and Jason's Paso Doble was good. I didn't like it AT ALL. They didn't bring it for me, not with the chemistry or the characters.
I like them individually, but I would really love for them to figure out how to work together. I'm not sure if it's the styles they're getting or if it's each other, but they have to stop being in the bottom 3.
Randi and Evan and Melissa and Ade = LOVE. I think they're the only couples that I really love this year. I like others individually (ie Caitlin and Jason) but none of the other couples really do anything for me.
2 of 18 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on June 28, 2009 1:00 PM
Thanks for a great recap Pottymouth! And a great walk down memory lane with Neil and Sabra – ahh, what a great dance.
I’m totally with you on the Toni Basil annoyance. Thank God for DVR and the fast forward button. I actually enjoyed the show so much more just by fast forwarding most of the judges critiques, which aren’t really critiques anyway, but rather are the perverted rantings of an old codger, the screams of an irritating cougar, and, um, Toni Basil, the self-appointed, self-annointed queen of street, ahem.
I also liked Randi and Evan, Brandon and Janette(?) and Melissa and Ade. Beautiful dancers, beautiful dances.
I’m still not in love love love with anyone yet, the way I was last year with about half of the cast. We’ll see if that evolves with the show.
I so just don’t like Kupono. I don’t know exactly what it is, but he just rubs me the wrong way. Yuck.
Oh, and your hot/not lesson? Hilarious and awesome. Yes it was. Please don't make me have to go over this again, lol.
3 of 18 | Posted by zbird | Posted on June 28, 2009 1:03 PM
I am so distracted by Kayla's trailer park blonde hair. God is it ever GROSS! My bf said she looks like the kind of girl who would put a ton of gel in and scrunch her hair into hard, crunchy curls.
4 of 18 | Posted by aman | Posted on June 28, 2009 1:16 PM
Ooh, I remember that Paso Doble with Neil and Sabra. Especially at the end where Sabra was wrapped around Neil. I agree. THAT was a Paso Doble. Also, I'm glad Asuka is gone and Jonathan seemed to rely on his tumbling skills too much. Now we won't have David Archuleta anymore but I never did like him so no problem-o.
5 of 18 | Posted by hm21 | Posted on June 28, 2009 2:32 PM
The review was great (as always). Thanks for always getting them up here not long after the shows.
You said you'd like to see Melissa and Ade really out of their elements. I've known Ade for a while now, and let me tell you that you will not be disappointed when he dances hip-hop. He has a relatively strong background in it. Melissa will be interesting, though.
Keep up with the awesome recaps (and pics of Hugh)!
6 of 18 | Posted by ElliotJ | Posted on June 28, 2009 3:00 PM
Potty, your recaps are STREET!!! Hollah!!! And I, too, am in agreement on your assessment of HOTNESS, 100%!
I love me some Neil Haskell, and any dance featuring him is fantastic! My favorite... the Table!!! LOVE!!! Also, I've had to opportunity to meet him (and I have the pictures to prove it), and he's every bit as hot in person (although shorter than I expected)!!!
And finally, I think the quickstep is the SYTYCD kiss of death. Am I wrong?
7 of 18 | Posted by slumrville | Posted on June 28, 2009 3:08 PM
slumrville is right-quickstep=kiss of death
I'm on team Brandon and Janette, Phillip and Jeanine (so what if he can't dance certain styles), Jason, and Karla. I was on team Jonathan =(
8 of 18 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 28, 2009 3:24 PM
Thanks for the shout out, I knew my never-ending subscription to EW would pay off one day.
The way you feel about Toni is how I feel about Lil C. But about 10x more. He wants so bad to sound intelligent or witty and I just hear a windbag and can't stand his ramblings.
Oh well!
9 of 18 | Posted by qupert | Posted on June 28, 2009 5:29 PM
Yes, awesome recap again. I have to agree with zbird, though--no one REALLY jumps out at me from this bunch. I like Melissa/Ade, Evan/Randi, Brandon/Janine, but last season, I was always looking forward to the show just to see what Katee and Joshua would do. I thought it was a real treat every single week to see what they danced.
That first picture of Hugh? I agree with your definition...
But not with the musical choice criticism for the Paso Doble. Caitlin and Jason should have KILLED that dance with such strong music. On the other hand, maybe that was the problem--Carmina Burana (sic?) was just too much for them.
10 of 18 | Posted by Allison | Posted on June 28, 2009 5:48 PM
Ummm, could we go over the HOT portion of Hot/Not again? I didn't quite get it? OK--not a valid excuse. I totally get it.
ALMOST drank the Kayla Kool-Aid this week. She was really good (THEY were really good). But then I remembered her pre-dance interview and remembered she's a total twit. "I wanna be a model 'cause they get to dress up and be pretty!" Blech.
Is it just me or do Brandon and Kupono get progressively more gay in their interviews from week to week? Not that there's anything wrong with that...
11 of 18 | Posted by marishka | Posted on June 28, 2009 6:30 PM
Nigel is really starting to annoy me! He totally let Jonathon & Karla have it for sucking so bad, which was deserved. Then he turns around & says how wonderful Asuka & Vitolio were?? What the hell? They were terrible! I so think he was just trying to save her from bottom three since he knew he couldn't save her again.
On another note, I'm really starting to like Brandon. I never agreed with Mean-Ass Mia about him, he's an amazing dancer, but... there was always something about him that just rubbed me the wrong way. I'm over it though, he just keeps surprising me!
Great recap!! Luv it!
12 of 18 | Posted by brattygrl | Posted on June 28, 2009 9:30 PM
Great recap! all kinds of brilliant snark that had me cracking up at the first paragraph.
I'm still on team Kayla, but after this week I realized that in order to stay on Team Kayla I have to not listen to her when she speaks...
Caitlin...drives me nuts. Her solos tell me she's a talented dancer, but she always looks so loosey goosey to me when she dances someone else's choreography, like she's not fully committed. Jason is (usually) much more precise than she is, but the judges still seem to love (almost) everything she does. I did not love the music or the dancing in the Paso -- I've grown to love Jean Marc and his crazy verbalizing (he's a permanent judge on the Canadian version of SYTCD by the way, so if you ever miss his accented ramblings you could look those up on youtube), but he has the most attrocious taste in combining music with dance styles EVER!
I loved Evan and Randi's dance -- so cute, quirky, and sexy. And I liked Brandon and Jeanette (although I hated the music) and Kayla and 'Pono did well this week as well.
Am I the only one who doesn't get the Melissa-Ade love? I don't see chemistry with them. I thought Melissa was going to be one of my fave girls in the begining, but honestly I don't think she was that great last week or this week. I thought her rumba was kind of weak as far as the hip movements were concerned. With Ade, I can see that he's a good dancer -- maybe even a great dancer. But there's something about him that leaves me cold when it comes to his personality/performance. Maybe I've got a block towards him because of his insitence on sticking that damn afropik in his head all the time (I know, it's as irrational as my disdain for Caitlin's bangs, but there you go). Oh well, I wish them luck, because they are good dancers, even if I can't see their greatness. To each their own taste...
13 of 18 | Posted by LIzbot | Posted on June 28, 2009 9:31 PM
I'm enjoying the recap and haven't finished reading yet but wanted to say about the filler pieces: Most of them bore me and I stop paying attention and have to rewind. However! Watching Ade shove his big black boom (mic, pokey thing, whatever!) into the naughty ballerina's face and then laugh his ass off about it was funny.
14 of 18 | Posted by Tadow | Posted on June 29, 2009 4:41 AM
Once again Nigel’s lust for Caitlin got in the way of an honest critique (he also inexplicably thought she did a good job last week with hip hop – not one negative comment yet). It was apparent that Mary and Toni were less than enthused with the Paso, but unfortunately The Nigel talked first, and because he was full of praise, I think the other two judges were afraid to challenge him on it. I wish someone would just stand up to Nigel and tell him he’s full of shite.
Ever notice how Nigel’s tone is completely different for the dancers he favors versus those he doesn’t. God help the dancer that isn’t predestined for Nigel’s top ten ‘dream team.’ Screw up even a little and he’ll channel his inner twelve year old, but if you’re one of the favored ones, bad dancing is excused because you are ‘growing as a dancer’ or it was the choreography’s fault you didn’t excel.
If the judges are doing their job you should be able to watch a show with the dance footage cut out and nothing but the judges’ comments left and get a feel for what the dancing was actually like. Not the case here. At all. Stop with the favoritism and selective criticism judges!
Nigel, you are at the bottom of the pack this week and will be “Judging For Your Life!”
On the whole, the level of dance this season has me disappointed. I expected better. The only thing that saved this episode was the back-story filler, which was once again excellent ;D
15 of 18 | Posted by ohhhyeah | Posted on June 29, 2009 5:02 AM
shibaby: The Viennese Waltz has a bad rap, but it’s not the kiss of death. In all the times it’s been performed on this show, it’s sent people home only twice.
georgiababe: Yeah, I wish Caitlin and Jason would dance as good together as they do individually. Mary might have been smoking crack or something right before she said that Paso was good. I can’t think of any other explanation.
zbird: Yeah, Kupono bugs me a little too. Not quite sure why either. Maybe the way he talks. I dunno.
aman: Now I’m trying to picture Kayla with hard crunchy curls. Hee!
hm21: I loved that ending; it was a great psych out where you think the dance is over and they go and do that drop. LOVED it. I’m glad you enjoyed seeing it again.
ElliotJ: I’m so jealous that you know Ade. Tell him I’m a fan!! I’m really curious to see him in different genres, but I do think Melissa will struggle the most with something more hard hitting.
slumrville: Well, you know, the thing about being street is that you have to have the swagger and the ghetto groove. It’s just not street if you don’t have that. Street. It’s so funny that you mention The Table – I was actually torn between that and the paso this week, since jazz and paso were both so weak.
tv freak: I like Phillip too. I keep hoping he’ll step it up in another style, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen. And just as an FYI for you and slumrville; the quickstep and foxtrot are tied in eliminations vs. performances (4 elims/9 perf.) It actually looks like the mambo might be the worst dance to get with 6 elims for 8 performances, and of those six there were TWO double eliminations! Yee-ouch.
qupert: That’s funny because I was actually wishing I was listening to Lil C rather than Toni. If she said street or ghetto groove one more time I think I would have ripped my face off.
Allison: We’ll have to agree to disagree on the music choice. I don’t think it’s right for a Paso at all. Contemporary? Yes. But not a Paso.
marishka: We can go over that as many times as necessary. :P
brattygrl: Brandon is stepping up week after week. I was very pleasantly surprised by his hip hop this week. It’ll be interesting to see what Mia has to say about him the next time she judges.
Lizbot: I’ll have to check out Jean Marc on you tube – he always has cracked me up whenever he was at the judges’ table on this show – he’s a nut! I’m digging Ade, but I totally understand not liking someone for a silly reason. I didn’t like Ashley and I still can’t really tell you why!
Tadow: I totally agree. That was very funny. I loved that they were both cracking up so much.
ohhhyeah: Yeah, Nigel definitely has his favorites, and he doesn’t hide it too well. I’m glad one of us enjoyed the boring ass filler this week :P Maybe next week they can tell us what their moms used to sing to them at bedtime, or some other fascinating fact.
If memory serves me right, this should be the week we go to two dances per couple. Should be interesting to see how they handle that added pressure.
Thanks so much for all your comments - you guys make my day.
SWAK, PottyMouth
16 of 18 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on June 30, 2009 3:52 AM
you continue to amaze me with both your recaps and your stats on sytycd. keep up the great work!
17 of 18 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 1, 2009 9:24 AM
I especially appreciated your recaps this week, since I was on the road and only caught some of the show (live - with - shudder - commercials) in my hotel. Thanks!
18 of 18 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 2, 2009 2:03 PM