Next up is Ryann who is a DJ at a strip club. He dated one of the female dancers there and comments "It's not easy being a couple at a strip club." Wiser words have never been uttered. And sadly she already left him. Don't worry Ryann - there's plenty more where she came from - with any luck - you're going to Vegas!
Ryann auditions and he's pretty good:
But he kind of looks like a hip-hopping Wookie. OOhh! I wonder if he can do the Wookie-sound like Neil did.
Matt from Salt Lake City looks to be one of the first real promising guys from Utah:
And by promising I mean he can hit the "Flight Attendant" button with his toe while seated on an airplane.
Next up - blonde-ambition pseudo-twins Kortney and Michelle came to the audition together. They do every together - dance, teach, get married at the same time - aaaand get divorced at the same time. Ouch.
Kortney's up first and does a sensual dance a la scarf and jeans:
Umm... Are you auditioning to be on "SYTYCD" or to be the new Bratz doll?
The judges think it's the first option so they move her on to the choreography test.
Gal pal Michelle is next and she's a little better - well - at least she isn't in winter-wear anyways. Although she's wearing slippery socks and is sliding all over the place. Nigel compliments her on her upper body. Ew gross. Keep the eyes up Nigel.
It's the end of the day and time for 30 minutes (isn't that insane!? 30 minutes?!) of choreography from old-timer Travis Wall. Michelle gets passed right through to Vegas and after getting a scarf-lashing (Nigel says she looks like Miss Piggy with it!! WTF?!) - gal pal Kortney gets a ticket too!
Ryann the strip club DJ crashed and burned - BUT the judges decide to give him a chance at all those Vegas showgirls and give him a ticket anyways. Can I get a "ROWLRLLRRRR"?!?
And on that Wookie-note - we're off to Texas! Where the stars at night are big and...
...freezing their asses off. I have to give them credit, I would have said "Fuck this I'm cold" and beat it after about .2 seconds.
The guest judge for Dallas is Adam Shankman! Who I love - he's a funny little wise-ass and director of the PHENOMENAL "Hairspray"! LOVED it!
First up from the Lonestar state - a real loner - Brian Davidson. He tells us the judges should expect to see "whatever the music makes him feel". Translation: He didn't choreograph shit. This should be fantastic! Brian seems like the kind of guy that had to stop giving a shit about everything a long time ago so that he could fully morph into the biggest loser possible. Congrats!
Wrong stage buddy... "The Biggest Loser" auditions are down the hall on the left. Send "Sex" our regards.
There's several things that happen that truly make Brian one of the worst auditioners ever but two moments stand out the best - when he impersonates Nigel and uses a Russian accent and...
When he bitches about not having the fluidity of the other dancers while 2 security guards stand by waiting to drag his ass off. Thanks for playing!
Chad is up next and he is a full contact wrestler, teaches country-western, hip-hop and ballroom. WHAT??! Looks like variety is the spice-of-life this season! Sadly, he tears his hamstring while rehearsing:
"I took Viagra 6 hours ago and it's still like this!!"
Chad's a trooper though and decides to audition anyways. And it's just as painful to watch as I'm sure it was for him to perform. Lot of heart - little talent - not much brains. But let's give him a hand kids!
Speaking of being short on brains - up next is Paige from Dallas! Who is what I would imagine would become of Barbie if she ever became a real girl and moved to Texas. Paige's whole apt is pink and perfect. It's the kind of perfect little apartment that makes you wonder...
How many tupperware containers filled with barf are behind that curtain? I'm just saying.
Paige is also a "pageant girl" (NOOO!! REALLY?!!?). Cat asks her what type of things are important in a pageant and Einstein has to rack her brain to think of the only three - interviews, swimsuit and evening gown. Oy. Her coach, a former Miss Tennessee, tells us she'll be perfect for pageants. Indeed. Please keep her there.
She auditions and bee-bops her sunshiney smile and rhinestoned boobies all about the stage. The judges think she's cute enough but too cookie-cutter - however they'll let her give the choreography a whirl.
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Comments (5)
I actually didn't think this episode was that good. This episode felt like it was just a showcase to show some pretty girls. Other than first girl they showed and Joshua, their was hardly any standouts.
As far as the guy with the Mickey Mouse fro, he actually didn't freak out as much as I thought he was going to. Yeah, he called out Mary, but after that he didn't really say anything, I thought they were bit hard on him. Anyway, yeah they hardly showed anything on this episode.
1 of 5 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on June 2, 2008 4:33 PM
Thanks BB for catching the toddler toppling over! Classic!
2 of 5 | Posted by jglau78 | Posted on June 2, 2008 11:51 PM
My mom always told me I was a great dancer, just like Janice on the muppets, are you saying that was a bad thing? Thanks for the re-cap! For the 1st time in a long time I am looking forward to VEGAS!
3 of 5 | Posted by jewish dancer | Posted on June 3, 2008 10:11 AM
My mom always told me I was a great dancer, just like Janice on the muppets, are you saying that was a bad thing? Thanks for the re-cap! For the 1st time in a long time I am looking forward to VEGAS!
4 of 5 | Posted by jewish dancer | Posted on June 3, 2008 10:50 AM
Thanks for the recap. You nailed it pretty well.
There did seem to be a lack of talent compared to other episodes. But from what I've seen, they should have a really talented group to humiliate and choose from in Vegas.
5 of 5 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 3, 2008 1:57 PM