The Vietnamese Waltz - 
by Amanda
Wow - I missed y'all! And I missed this So You Think You Can Dance. I am wasting away up here in a primitive, television-free wilderness land commonly known as Connecticut. Actually, for all I know, this might be the only house in all of Connecticut that lacks a TV. Either way, it's a barbaric way to live and it should be outlawed. The upshot of it all is that I have not seen this show in close to ten days, and I am concerned about how much that bothers me.
As you know, the first thing I am compelled to do is evaluate Cat's outfit. She looks pretty good tonight, if sunburned and again a bit prommy. So far, in my dealings with her, she has two looks: Prom, and Jungle Fug. I am highly qualified to judge her, because I also have two looks: Pajamas, and Actual Pants. Which, in all seriousness, places me a lot closer to being qualified to evaluate Cat than it does to being qualified to evaluate actual dancers. I mean, when it comes to judging people's outfits, at least I can accurately say that I myself do wear clothes. This is not true when it comes to dancing.
But I'm not going to let that stop me! Onward and upward. Cat says a couple of times that we are on a quest to determine America's "favorite" dancer. I notice that she never says "best" dancer. At least we're being honest about that. However, we are not being honest about the following: Cat claims that viewers have been overflowing with gratitude for the clips flashing back to the judges' favorite audition moments. This is a big, fat, hairy lie. Viewers do not like these clips. I can say this with confidence, since I happen to be a viewer myself.
Cat is brimming with excitement as she reveals that we are actually about to see some audition footage that has not been televised before. You know, we've come to a sad state of affairs when the fact that a clip being aired on this show has not already been aired on this show is cause for notice and for celebration. Cat practically begs the audience to "woo" over this fact, and they finally let out an anemic little "woo."
We see audition footage. I am still not interested. Give me the actual dancers, please. Seriously, y'all, I'm skipping the audition footage. Someplace around the half-hour mark of this two-hour show, Cat finally tells us that it's time to get down to business. Or rather, it will be time to get down to business, after yet another commercial. It appears to me that they then straight-up rerun the opening credits, dragging them out for as long as possible. This reminds me of when you're in college, and you have to write a ten-page paper, so you use 2.1 line spacing, and 13-point font, and 1.1 inch margins. Not that I ever tried this or anything.
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