TVgasm Recaps

Every day here in the TVgasm offices, we have TVs running nonstop, and during the early afternoon, there's always a soap opera or two on television. I don't usually pay attention to them (unless it's Passions, which is always good for some cheesy special effects and cheap T&A), but the other day, I couldn't help but notice The Bold and the Beautiful. I don't know when it happened, but this soap opera suddenly had the sexiest cast on TV. In case you don't believe me, I pulled a random episode off my Tivo and took a screen cap of every speaking actor. Check out the pics after the jump. Be warned: extreme states of arousal may soon follow...

But enough with all of that shit. We are here to talk about the phenomenon that is Days of Our Lives. What other show features a love triangle with two girls who are in love with a guy who also happens to be an uncle to both of them (by adoption)? yes, there are some story lines that I don't are about, but as I was in line to buy some pre-sliced apples at the grocery store (yes, I am that lazy), I noticed that the cover of Soap Opera Digest said that Stefano Dimera would be coming back from his latest death. Luckily, the woman ahead of me was busy arguing over a few of her coupons that were expired (as if she couldn't make do with the FIFTY other ones she used) and it gave to time to think. I decided right then and there, that we need to have Days on TVgasm. So, if you are a fan of the show, I invite you to write, and if you haven't been watching lately or are new to the series, I'll try and fill you in as best as I can after the jump.

Hola Gasmii--

I'm your recap artist, Leia LaBiblia. First off, I'm sorry about the lack of jokes on the screen-caps. I just wanted to introduce all the characters this time. Secondly, allow me to confess to never having seen one episode of the first Melrose Place. So I come to this juicy-looking new CW project with fresh, luminous brown eyes and a shameful lack of knowledge about the original characters. Old-school MP fans-- feel free to interject corrections, clarifications, perspective, outrage or disgust about it. I think it's great that the new MP is bringing back several key cast members, and from what I've gathered, will be weaving them in far more skillfully than 90210 services poor Jennie Garth & Shannen Doherty.

Soap operas are good for you. They stimulate the economy and the nervous system, encourage healthy masturbation, and contain no carbs, trans-fats (although the good ones feature both trannies and fatties) or pesky soul-deadening opioids.

But enough about my summer. Without further cute bullshit, let's pay our first of many visits to....