TVgasm Recaps

Many of you may not realize it, but South Park has just started its ninth season. NINTH! If you would have told me, as a fresh-faced high school junior in 1997, that I would be writing about South Park nine years later as a wrinkled, pasty, meth-addicted cubicle-whore, I never would have believed you. But here I am! Time flies when you're losing your teeth, doesn't it?

I made sure to catch the premiere of South Park's ninth season this Wednesday, in an episode entitled "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina." In it, Mr. Garrison gets a vagina, Kyle gets a "negroplasty" in order to be on his school's basketball team, and his father fulfills his lifelong dream of being a dolphin by being turned into a strange human/porpoise hybrid -- oh, and exploding testicle knees. The episode was everything you've come to expect: offensive, gruesome, cringe-inducing and riotously funny.

Last night may have been one of the most highly anticipated episodes of South Park in a long time. Some of you may have already become sick of these foul-mouthed fourth graders, but I still watch every new episode, if only in the hopes that Trey Parker and Matt Stone come out with a sequel to Team America: World Police (by the way, if you haven't seen the unrated version, you haven't lived). As m_ruv pointed out earlier, they officially killed off Chef. Why? Because he was brainwashed by a group of people who like to travel the world and molest children. The boys eventually infiltrated the headquarters of the place (which bore a striking resemblance to the Church of Scientology Celebrity Centre International in Hollywood). It seemed like Chef wanted to go back to South Park, but something in him said that he should go back to the child molesters. Before he made it though, he fell off a bridge, was half burned, had some limbs torn off by a bear and his face torn off by a mountain lion. Quite the sad end to one of the greatest cartoon characters created in the last ten years.

But was it the end? See what really happened to Chef after the jump.

South Park, 4/26/06, Comedy Central
Click on the picture to play (QuickTime 7 required)

Obviously, we are having fun with this Clipgasm thing. I am sure that we'll have another one in the afternoon, but for your morning pleasure, I had to share a little bit of what happened on South Park last night.

And if you are having that ActiveX control window pop up, I've got a solution after the jump.