**Note from the Editor: Alright, Gasmii. You've sent letters requesting this one, so please welcome InternetSensation with Step it Up and Dance! And you thought we never listened...xo
It's Nomi, bitch.
Welcome to Step It Up and Dance! More than a decade later we find out what happens to Nomi Malone when she hitches her way out Vegas to the City of Angels. Why she gets to host a show on Bravo! Those sexy looks and raw ambition were bound to take her far. But, enough about Nomi, we got twelve new egomaniacal and driven dancers equally as delightful to watch. If you love tears, flaming gay men, and hearing the phrase "step it up" approximately three hundred times in an hour, then this is the show for you! As if watching Nomi wasn't reason enough.
You're the whore, darlin'.
And there's our girl! Hey there, hot stuff! She's here to show us what it takes to be a PROFESSIONAL dancer. Tony award winning director Jerry Mitchell is there to mentor our up and comers and blah blah blah we're going to be impressed! Really does it matter what she's saying? Fans of camp everywhere have their hearts racing just at the sight of our slicked up beauty.
And now let's meet our contestants! First up is Miguel and his style of dance is Jazz Funk. He informs us that he is a pioneer of the genre and the best performer you will ever see. He is the Da Vinci of dancing. Or something.
Or we'll just make that face.
Janelle is a hip hop girl and dances in her garage about seven hours a day. Must be nice to not have to work, sleep or go to school. She's a little yappy chihuahua and more specifically, a chihuahua owned by Paris Hilton.
Hi, I'm hot.
James from North Carolina comes in set to annoy us all right off the bat by proclaiming that he's 23 years "young". Do people think they're being clever when they say that? And then jumps on the person that comes out of the cab and wants to have a walk off. Then he hugs someone else.
I'MHERE,I'MQUEER,GETUSEDTOIT!!!OMG!!JAZZ HANDS!!!!!!
The rest of the gang shows up and I keep thinking these people all know each other because Hugger and Chihuahua get super excited every time someone walks in the door. Oscar is Italian and is a recipient of a hug. Nicole is a go-go dancer and is there representing go-go dancers everywhere, since no one thinks of go-go dancing as anything more than a girl trying to make a buck at night at a shitty club in Hollywood. Who knew?
Mochi arrives and does every type of dance. Most recently she's been on the Lion King on Broadway. Nick is one of the straight dudes on the show and tells us he got into dance because wanted to be Kevin Bacon in Footloose. He then adds that at a young age he realize it was a good place to meet ladies. Ah, let the incessant reminders of heterosexuality begin!
Cody arrives and his pedigree is attending Julliard before joining the cast of Moving Out, Grease and Mama Mia. And before we get to meet the rest here comes Nomi!! She comes in with the group's Tim Gunn, Jerry Mitchell. Ah, the dashing, well-spoken gay mentor. We should all be so lucky to have one. The group gushes over Nomi as they should and she blesses them with a quick gesture.
IWANTTOHUGYOU!!!!
With a wave of my hands, I can make your head explode.
They get another speech about how they're gonna show America what it means to be a Professional Dancer. Whoever is the most Professional Dancer is gonna win $100,000. Jerry is the Tim Gunn and is here to help. They announce that tonight they get to go out to a club, which prompts another round of hugs. Jerry tells them to simmer down though because tomorrow it gets SERIOUS. Dun dun dunnnnn.
Now back to the rest of the troupe: Adriana is a member of Link, a contemporary jazz group in New York. She's loud and in your face and apparently unloved by the folks at Bravo.
Perhaps you should not have been loud and in your face to the editors, Shrewsbury.
Next up is Jessica, who is the one dancer who does not talk about herself like she shits roses. In fact, Jessica brings to the table what I like to call Loser Talk. Somebody buy this bitch The Secret already. Even in her intro she tells us that she's nervous, intimidated and that everyone is better than her. Basically, she's the worst.
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Comments (3)
did you see she was wearing her Versasssss dress?
1 of 3 | Posted by melpadgett | Posted on April 11, 2008 1:00 PM
i love the recap! you wrote everything i thought and more! brilliant and hilarious!
2 of 3 | Posted by cholulo1 | Posted on April 11, 2008 8:59 PM
I am liking this show so far (having Nick and Cody in it doesn't hurt, yum) and enjoyed the recap very much, Lady S. Looking forward to your take on this week's losing team's unpleasant and bizarre number. I hate hate hate Miguel - 2 episodes, at least 4 or 5 different times he bitched about the possibility of his team mates or partner possibly! making him look bad. Not that it happened (unless he can blame his partners for making him dance his little queen's heart out in such an exuberant way) or that it's going to happen, but. He. Won't. Stop. Bitching. I really wish he was the one gone this week, instead of one of my other favorites... Bummer.
3 of 3 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on April 13, 2008 9:29 PM