It's morning at the pegasus apartments and as usual Mean Gay is bitching. Ah, how lovely it is to start the day with the sweet sounds of gay Mexican hateration. It's a big cosmic joke that Bi Mike is still in his presence. God thinks it's so much fun to torture Mean Gay with his bad dance technique.

So what's Bi's quid pro quo? Um, Bi Mike used to hang out at a dance studio for no apparent reason. After a year the owner told him to start dancing. Yeah, either that or kick him out for creepy loitering. Seriously, was he stalking a girl? My mind is coming up with a lot of unsavory ideas.

And it turns out the whole posse is pretty much in one apartment because the other apartment has been decimated. Now it's just Straight Nick and Star Cody in one apartment for the two of them. As Nick scrambles his eggs, he calls out the names of the fallen soldiers. Go-go, Hugger, Tovah Doe and Italian. He figures that moving in with him is the best way to get someone eliminated, so he welcomes any new roommates. He does not welcome Star Cody wearing the same color shirt as him.

How would you feel about matching pink though?

Message on the New Sidekick 3. (Message: Product Placement rules.) The dancers are going shopping. Mochi Ball tries to get excited, but everyone knows this is just a red herring. Pain and misery will shortly ensue...if Broadway Nazi Jer has anything to say about it that is!

And..they are going to the mattreses. Har har. A mattress store is site of their audition challenge. And the gang is all there. Nomi, Jer and Jacques Heim, the Norwegian Siegfried! But, alas, he is not Norwegian, nor does he play with white tigers. He is French. And tres whimsical! He says hello to our group by exclaiming, "Bonjour, my little monsters!" Oh, Jacques Heim! Vous etes si mechant.

With my glasses, no one will recognize me as...

...the sexiest blond illusionist of ALL TIME.

He is the choreographer of the CIrque du Soleil show Ka in Las Vegas and also has a company called Diavolo, which uses unique ideas and ways for its performers to interact in their environment. I've listed to Jer say that a few times now and still don't think that means anything. Its a fusion of movement vocabulary, obfuscates Jacques Heim further. Modern dance is so abstract and obtuse or whatever. Although those Cirque du Soleil shows are more acrobatic than anything else, n'est-ce-pas? Jacques Heim is clearly from the circus of the sun.

So now it's becoming a bit more clear why they are in the mattress store for. Our merry imp of a Frenchman is going to have them improvise a scene with mattresses! They have to use ideas and ways to interact in their environment. Bi Mike says that there are only two things you can do with a mattress. "Sell them and jump on them." That's funny, because I would have said there are only two things you can do with a mattress and neither of those crossed my mind.

Jacques Heim un-originally wants to take them out of their comfort zone. Seriously, they hear that song and dance (ha!) every week. You're going to have to step up your game if you want to shock us, modern dance man. Mattresses and a lack of comfort zone are nothing. Make Mean Gay say something nice about Bi Mike and my head will explode on the spot. Now that would be DIAVALO.

But Jacques Heim is still convinced dancing on mattresses in earth shattering. He wants to see how they'll "deal with it." They've already had to dance with baseball bats and trash can lids. At this point they're well-versed in random inanimate objects as props. C'est dommage, petit chou. But Jacques Heim takes mattresses very seriousement.

Je m'en fou. You will keeess thee reengs.

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Posted in Step it Up and Dance by InternetSensation at 3:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: rddugan on May 21, 2008 05:27 AM.