So also waiting for them on the stage are "apparatuses", a large staircase and a giant globe strung from the ceiling, which Cheerleader calls right off "an atom", which it indeed resembles. (I was blown away by her shrewd observation and knowledge of anything scientific, until Ex pointed out that she was interviewed after she heard Jacques Heim call it that. Indeed "atom" is the technical term for the prop and I rescind my cap tipping to Cheerleader.)
Anyway, Jer pops out of a hole in the giant staircase like a little gay whack-a-mole (and Cheerleader calls him weirdo, which is kinda funny) and he informs them that their going to be choreographing a modern dance on these apparatuses for their callback challenge. Welcome to Jacques Heim's torture chamber! Suck it, Siegfried Fischbacher!
Jer LOVES whack-a-mole!
This challenge is all about innovation and teamwork. They'll be dancing to the same song and they still don't know who the winners are. Don't they know they are all losers in Jacque Heim's mind? They can never compete with his gang of circus midgets! But he shall enjoy some hearty French chuckles watching them try!
Cody, Nick and Mochi are up for rehearsal first. Jacques Heim says to come up with the beginning pretty quickly because that is the hardest part, and once they have that, things will come together. So Mochi starts talking a mile a minute like she's revved up on meth-amphetamines, about how Cody and Nick are on a journey and she's a creature they find and Cody and Nick find her in the staircase and they're like-OMG! A toy!!--then they're her big brothers and she just wants to play with them and yeah it makes no sense, but that's modern dance for ya! Then they find a giant silver ball in the sky and that, you know, ties everything together.
OMG! A crackhead!
Star Cody then says that this style of dance is right down his alley because he gets to show off his athleticism. Isn't every style of dance Cody's? Seriously, he doesn't seemed fazed by anything. Not even street battling! You are a STAH, Cody!
Back at rehearsal though Jacques Heim is pushing and yelling. They aren't making his atom look good. They have no ending. He lets them know they suck.
...eento your wounds that I inflicted. And rubbing eet around. Take that, Amereecans.
The next group is up and they make the first group look like an amazing circus of freakishly small performers. Cheerleader starts off by asking "What are we trying to prove?" which says it all. How about the dynamic of opening and closing? suggests Mean Gay, which is as good as anything, right? So...Hide and seek! Bi Mike is back tapping that childhood thing again.
Cheerleader is getting lost in the stairs. She feels a bit out of her element working with metaphor and abstract narrative. Bi Mike is also having trouble, so Mean Gay takes it upon himself to just sit on the stairs and tell him how much he sucks. Save that for Frenchie. He can do it with the better accent. Bi Mike says that he hasn't had as much practice as the other dancers and calls his technique "dusty". Dusty implies that you had it at some point, friend-o. Your technique is just not there.
Why do you have a giant mallet in your hand?
When they go to the atom, Bi Mike says that he is getting motion sickness, so Mean Gay tells him to live on the stairs. At the end of rehearsal in front of Jacques Heim, Mean Gay gives a rousing soliloquy on how Bi Mike does not have the same abilities that he and the cheerleader have. He's not pushing his boundaries enough, but Mean Gay is essentially saying he has no boundaries to push. They can't play around enough with the props with dead weight like him. It seems in really poor form to do in front of the guest judge, but what else do we expect from this beacon of tact and modesty?
And then when they leave, Jacques Heim (which is really fun to say) and his gaggle of Eastern European superstars laugh at them and how they don't have two minutes of a dance whatsoever. Eeet's a deeessaaster!
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Comments (7)
Rami didn't win Project Runway, Christian did.
That is all :)
1 of 7 | Posted by serjen | Posted on May 13, 2008 9:34 AM
Thanks for playing, serjen, and pointing out the obvious. But IS never said Rami won PR. He just said he was a draping phenom. Save your snarky comment for another time when you can put it in the proper context.
2 of 7 | Posted by sushitime | Posted on May 13, 2008 11:56 AM
Hilarious post, IS. I'm new to this site (and addiction to Bravo-reality) and really enjoy your commentary.
And I don't think serjen was being snarky--I'm pretty sure IS originally wrote that Rami was the winner, then fixed it.
3 of 7 | Posted by WP1970 | Posted on May 13, 2008 1:47 PM
magical elves corrected the blight.
4 of 7 | Posted by theinternetsensation | Posted on May 13, 2008 10:33 PM
why does everyone wear pretty much the same circle, hemp rope type of necklace? is this bravo's way of hiding a microphone, but letting the dancers have their own style and flair?
5 of 7 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on May 14, 2008 5:11 AM
I read a lot of recaps and blogs on Bravo reality shows, but this one has to be the most laugh-out-loud funniest I have seen recently. Great play off Miguel's dolphin and pig comments. You've added a lot to the entertainment value of the show --
6 of 7 | Posted by bfish | Posted on May 19, 2008 7:02 PM
Your recaps are hilarious and so on target. I am looking forward to reading your take on the Latin challenge.
7 of 7 | Posted by rddugan | Posted on May 21, 2008 5:27 AM