Hobo chic Jason is first. Joe likes all the black. But the scarf gives him anxiety, and the Michael Jackson glove was 20 years ago. Arnaldo doesn't have enough fun with his clothes. He needs to take more risks and not look like he works at a bank. Megan is wearing a Chanel dress, but just because she has the right label, doesn't mean she has the right choice. (Whatever that means.) Kate is not dressed appropriately for work; it's more of an evening look and her cleavage is popping out. And Devin's cocktail hat is distracting. Got all that, Gasmii?
Now when Joey McIntire steps forward, Joe Zee just groans "oh" and everyone laughs. He says that his outfit looks like a costume and like he's going to play the drums in a bar at night. It simply doesn't say "work appropriate." While Joey Mac has obviously dropped the ball here, we should take into account his Europeanness. My friends and I always go into hipster neighborhoods and play a fun game called "Gay or Euro?" Then we look at all the boys and wager money on what category they fall into. Sometimes it's really hard to tell. My point is that sometimes those European boys can dress a little different. Okay, I didn't ACTUALLY have a point, I just think that game is really fun to play. And probably offensive to some people...but let's move on before we linger on that one for too long!
Danielle is really nervous, but Joe tells her that she gets it. She noticed that color was a big thing on the runway this season, and she has a bright blue jacket with matching blue shoes. I let out a small sigh of relief because she's been so sweet and pleasant so far, and I doubt anyone wants to see her get ripped on.
The first editorial challenge will involve updating all their personal looks. Tomorrow they will be going to H&M to find a fabulous and affordable look. They will be working in three teams, chosen by Ashlie because she won the assistant task.
The teams are as follows. Team A (a.k.a. "The Stylish Ones"): Ashlie, Johanna, Perfume, Gay Sidekick. Team B (a.k.a. "The Almost Stylish Ones"): Arnaldo, Danielle and Megan. Team C (a.k.a. "The Fashion Rejects"): Kate, Joey McIntire, Devin, Jason. But that will be for tomorrow! Now it is time to go settle into the lofts.
Our stylistas get all excited because the loft is, of course, gorgeous. The only problem is that were cursed with -- gasp! -- bunkbeds! HOW WILL THEY EVER LIVE?!!?!? They are in a beautiful Manhattan loft, living the life of their dreams! But all those dreams were dashed at the sight of -- again gasp! -- bunkbeds! Anything but -- double gasp! -- bunkbeds!
Megan, stalking around in a blue scarf, is too good for the bunkbeds, so she'd rather be on the couch or floor. Gay Sidekick continues to try to find solidarity with her by saying that he got stuck sharing a room with "Boobs." Kate overhears and tells Sidekick that he can't sleep in her room if he's describing her that way. G.S. says that there always has to be a punching bag, so Kate is the punching bag. Then he clarifies: "two large punching bags." I feel like the only reason he's making fun of Kate is to gain Megan's approval, which is really dumb because who would want to be friends with HER?
Megan tells us that she's going to go insane because she's sleeping on a couch when she has an apartment 10 blocks away, and she's vying for a position against people with no experience. Dressed like a homeless person, she starts making a pillow fort, and it looks totally pathetic. Are you SURE you're not a "spoiled rich girl," Miss Whiney Pants? Sleeping in a community space on a couch is way more ghetto than sleeping in a humble bunkbed. Has this girl never lived in a dorm? Or gone to camp? I mean, she says she's so smart, but with an attitude like this, you'd think that she never went to college. I guess that if a random chunk of money falls into your life, then you don't need silly things like "college" or "personality" or "a hair brush."
Johanna reaches out to Kate and asks if she needs to borrow clothes that won't show her boobs because Kate only packed non- work appropriate, booby outfits. But Kate cries about how she loves her clothes and misses Johanna's point.
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Comments (19)
Great recap! This show is a total trainwreck. Also: "My friends and I always go into hipster neighborhoods and play a fun game called 'Gay or Euro?'" I've played that game (or a variation of it) many a time!
1 of 19 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on October 30, 2008 6:44 AM
Great recap - and if you hated Megan last week you're gonna wanna hire a hitman after last night. She really is just vile.
Oh and about the lovely British voiceover voice - that's none other than America's Top Model Judge Nigel Barker. The man is still sexy even when you can't see him. Purrrrrrr.
2 of 19 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on October 30, 2008 6:58 AM
Nigel Barker!? Oh I knew it sounded familiar! Makes sense too since this show is the brainchild of Tyra Banks and Ken Mok.
Anywho, I did see it last night and Megan WAS totally vile. I'll have that recap up soon, so check back in a day or two!
Smooches!
3 of 19 | Posted by MandaMo | Posted on October 30, 2008 7:19 AM
This review was hilarious. I particularly enjoyed this tidbit: "They probably cast her because they needed their token Ugly Betty. Apparently, every fashion mag has one these days. It's this season's little black dress."
I'm pretty sure that because of this review I will NEVER ever watch this show. Thank you for sparing me such torture. And for providing us with a highly enjoyable, comprehensive review/recap of the show.
--Adela P.
acf-reviews.blogspot.com
4 of 19 | Posted by adela | Posted on October 30, 2008 7:46 AM
Hey MandaMo...
Awesome job! I'm must agree with you regarding your "L" and "M" categorizing... but it's so not surprising that TyraCo would be so unabashed about being giant copycats with this show... love your work, though, and you made it easy to follow AND captured the arche/stereotypes perfectly. I look forward to reading more about this ridiculous show!
love & hugs,
xoxox
J-Mo :)
5 of 19 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 30, 2008 9:05 AM
Bummer that I can't seem to get this one. iTunes isn't carrying it (though they carry most CW shows) and it isn't on the torrents either. Too bad because the recap made it sound trainwreckalicious!
6 of 19 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 30, 2008 10:45 AM
Snootchy Bootches:
Actually you can view entire episodes of "Stylista" at The CW's website: www.cwtv.com. Just go to the "videos" tab at the top and select "Stylista" from the column of shows on the lefthand side.
The only downfall is that they have been really late on posting them. Hopefully they'll be more prompt soon!
7 of 19 | Posted by MandaMo | Posted on October 30, 2008 11:42 AM
mandamo, thanks for the recap, you called it just like I saw it, but watching, I got confused between the white girls, even tho clearly, Megan was uber bioth, she and boobs look so alike. Still a bit confused, actually, but this helped a lot!!!
I like Ashlee and Danielle so far. The GS was pretty ugly inside too! Joey Mac, I hope doesn't get too much screen time, as I think he'll start to annoy me, but I could be wrong. I was hoping Devin would be a bit better at the layout, given her backround, but HATE the hats!!!! HATE!!!
Anne reminds me of Madonna, it just wont go away. She doesn't scare me tho I'm not sure what I would have gotten her for breakfast, coz they were probably fresh out of dead babies at the deli--I kid . . .
Anyway, I'm not hooked, but I think Anne like Danielle too, so that might be satisfying to see her bulldoze over some of those un-spoiled stylista's.
Here's the worst part, I think I love ANTM, and PR, even though I absolutely hate what the fashion industry represents--can't we live in a world where everything is ok, and not last season, and not based on the whim of some coked out designer trying to show up his/her cohorts with their edgy-ness! I guess it's not fashion I hate as much, as using fashion knowledge as a way to put down everybody else, but that's just me. Go Dani!!!
8 of 19 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 30, 2008 2:10 PM
MandaMo, OMG, I am so loving this show. Thank you, thank you for recapping it. Now please beat the snot out of Megan for me. Kay?
Thanks much.
Hugs,
Yenta
9 of 19 | Posted by Yentapatrol | Posted on October 30, 2008 4:16 PM
I was wondering if anyone was going to recap this train wreck.
I worked with a crier and more times than not, I wanted to slap her and tell her to suck it up. Megan is an immature bitch that hasn't mentally graduated from high school.
And please someone teach Anne to walk in high heels instead of shlumping around.
Great recap, looking for more.
10 of 19 | Posted by skies | Posted on October 30, 2008 7:17 PM
Whoa I just watched the youtube preview of this show and it has the most inappropriate voiceover guy! Like from a Rob Schneider comedy or something, I kept waiting for him to say "This summer, get ready for the ride of a lifetime..."
cheers for the recap :D
11 of 19 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on October 30, 2008 8:29 PM
Skies, I noticed that too, when Anne exited her ride. She walked like a man wearing his wife's heels for the first time.
Loved the recap, MandaMo! Looking forward to the rest of the series!
12 of 19 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on October 31, 2008 10:37 AM
From the very beginning when Anne first came out of the limo and then when she was walking down the hall, she looked like she was wearing high heels for the first time! I thought it was just me, but I'm glad to see that other people noticed.
I like Danielle too but she really needs to be a bit more confident about her abilities (if not her looks). Chances are the others don't view her as a threat so that may be to her advantage.
13 of 19 | Posted by murphena | Posted on October 31, 2008 12:20 PM
ummmm so this is craaazy...i went to college with dyshaun--i GRADUATED with him!!!!
crazy right? okay now back to read the actual recap but holy fuck.
14 of 19 | Posted by aujew | Posted on November 3, 2008 11:50 AM
okay now that i have read the recap, i have to agree and say dyshaun was definitely the g.s. in college who was always hanging around the pretty, bitchy girls because it made him feel special. or maybe because he wished he were a pretty, bitchy girl. not sure.
haha now i HAVE to watch this show. that was a fantastic recap. def had me rolling. loved the screengrabs, too! xoxox
15 of 19 | Posted by aujew | Posted on November 3, 2008 12:27 PM
Nooo! Are you serious, aujew?! LOVE. IT.
16 of 19 | Posted by MandaMo | Posted on November 4, 2008 10:45 AM
mandamo, totally and completely serious. in a graduating class of 480, so you can imagine i know what i'm talking about given it was a tiny mostly white school with lots of theater dorks (i was an english major, hahaha). can't even begin to describe how weird it is to see him on tv. hahaha i await your recaps with breath that is bated.
17 of 19 | Posted by aujew | Posted on November 4, 2008 4:35 PM
I just finally got around to watching (you piqued my interest in this bitchfest), and you're right. Megan. Must. Go. She's possibly the most loathsome person on reality tv right now, which is really saying something.
18 of 19 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on November 8, 2008 5:07 PM
UGH! Megan is the meanest person! She is rude, snotty, and just a downright ugly person. From the very first episode she has done nothing but pretend she's better than everyone. And...umm...can someone get her Proactive and fix her hair?
19 of 19 | Posted by ann81 | Posted on November 12, 2008 10:27 PM