All right, gasmii! We've finally made it to the season (series???) finale of Stylista! Now we get to find out which under-qualified person landed that highly coveted junior editor position with ELLE magazine. But something tells me this will be more like Hell's Kitchen where the winner is promised his/her own restaurant but just ends up as a sous chef at some backstreet grill. Oh well, whatever the outcome, here we go...
So we are down to our final three: Gay Sidekick, Megan and Johanna, and they all think they are most deserving of being there. Go figure. Megan says that they all have different strengths, and there is something intimidating about them all from a different point of view. What does that mean, you ask? Well, I can't seem to focus on it long enough to figure it out because her skin has evolved into the decomposing flesh of a week-old corpse. If this gal is so worldly, then why has she never heard of foundation? A little dab will do ya, chica. She says she deserves to win because she's done a lot. She even challenges us to Google her to find articles from Vogue. Well you know I did it, right? I mean she had to know that the blogosphere was going to take her up on her offer, right?
Anyway, I didn't find that little gem she mentioned about being in Vogue. But I DID find her own personal blog where she blames the EDITING for her portrayal on the show! Wow, did we call that one or what? I could tell this girl would be an Omarosa from miles away. But it gets BETTER! She also posts like CRAZY on the boards for Elle magazine! My favorite is that she keeps saying that it's not her personality to talk badly about people. Then you scroll a bit down and there is an enormous rant, written in all capital letters, reaming everyone on the planet -- including us viewers! Eek! Her psyche definitely begs diagnosis! Any psychologists out there looking for a little pro-bono work? Talk about being scarily delusional!
Okay, okay. Let's compose ourselves and get back to the finale.
Brett and Malina stop by the apartment unexpectedly, and Brett explains that our final three will be interviewing with Roberta Myers, the "Elle" editor-in-chief. Or "Robby" as they so warmly refer to her. Robs is one well-respected lady and the basic message of the conversation is that they better bring their A-Game. By the way, did anyone else see what Malina was wearing?
Later that day, the stylistas report to the "Elle" offices downtown with portfolios and resumes in tow. And then Robby walks in. Megan calls her "impossibly chic." But I just want to know what that thing is on her head. It's like her hair grew another head that is also covered in hair. And then a furry woodland critter died on top of it. And then all the empty spaces were stuffed with toupees. It's twice as big as her head! Is anyone noticing this but me!?
GaySidekick is up first and is wearing a lovely suit and tie. And right out of the gate he screws up! He actually says that he didn't know much about "Elle" before this lame tv show. Whoa! Really!? Okay, the trick to interviews is simple: You lie. And if you get caught int he lie: You deny. Lie and deny. It's been my mantra for years. Even if you have never flipped open a page of "Elle" magazine your entire life, you do heavy research and pretend as though it raised you like a second mother.
But I kinda feel bad for him because you can tell he's really nervous. He explains that when he was younger, he wrote a "witty" letter to "Seventeen" magazine and scored an internship out of it. Robby asks if he has any questions, and he actually pulls out a list. Question 1: "Where do you see 'Elle' in 10 years and do you see me as a part of it?" Wow, so this guy is going to be an a-hole straight through until the end, huh?
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Comments (10)
Happy Holidays Manda!!!! thanks for giving us one more for the gippah!
I guess, when Joanna's hair said that Megan was 22 and already jaded it was a good point that I hadn't thought about. Who would you rather hire, the one that's excited, and dreaming and anxious, or the one who's so over this and doesn't like to bring coffee . . .
GS is such a douche bag, completely utterly despicable "sucks for you" was soooooo beyond a discusting thing to say, FU pal, and enjoy your life of typo's. Can't wait till I forget you even existed . . .
1 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 24, 2008 11:17 AM
Sure, MandaMo, you deserve a bit of combat leave after recapping this (s)tankfest.
And mucho thanks for the doe-eyed Kate pic. Sigh....
I think Johanna and Robby bonded over their bad hairdos. Give Johanna a couple more years and her face will probably look just as plastic.
And I agree, there's no question that GS-hole (get it? har har!) had a better design sense than most of those dorks. But he was a such a dickhead, there was no way he'd win, didn't matter what he did, really. Funny how oblivious he seemed to all that. Must have been the skin-tight pants.
Loved Megan's meltdown. What an idiot. I love the way she speaks like she's 65 year old warrior, when she's only 22.
2 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on December 24, 2008 11:55 AM
GAY sidekick is an embarrassment to gay men, to people of color and to men in general.
I'm SO glad he didn't win.
He proves that you can take the boy out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the boy.
I know what he needs and he needs it bad but I ain't giving it to him and I hope nobody gives it to him for a long, long time.
3 of 10 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on December 24, 2008 12:12 PM
speaking of the meltdown, did anyone else notice she said "I've played your game, and now I'm done" Sounds like something a plant would say, but I guess, why would she be upset . . .
Mr. Dangerous, if what he needs involves whips, I'll do it!!!
Happy Holidays all!
4 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 24, 2008 1:47 PM
As much as I detested GS, I agree that his final project was way better than Johanna's. I think she ended up making Eve look as stiff as herself. What was with the headband? She even made Eve's bangs stick off of her head like her own. Maybe she secretly wanted to be on the cover herself? ha! Can't you just see Johanna wearing that ugly outfit?
Robby's hair was a mess. To me, she looked like Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, but Patsy does that style better.
Megan was a child to the end and she only had her breakdown (in 3 acts, LOVES IT!) AFTER Hate put her in her place about getting kicked off right after her, and not needing to be so cocky.
As much as Hate annoyed me in the beginning, I grew to respect her ability to stand up for herself without resorting to being petty like the rest.
Overall, this show was a waste and if it hadn't been for these recaps, I would have abandoned it. The CW owes you big time Manda Mo! I'm sure a lot of people will agree with me!
5 of 10 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on December 24, 2008 2:02 PM
Poor Johanna, thinking that working at Elle will "feed her soul." Suck it dry, more likely!
I have a theory that some of Megan's stank is coming out on her face in the form of a humongous zit. If she could only channel more of it there, maybe she'd be nice. Of course, it would be better if she had a painting like Dorian Grey and the zits popped up on it instead of her.
The fact that Kate seemed tolerable compared to the others (at least those who "survived" her) is not much of a compliment to her. She was still obnoxious, whiny, and immature. She just looked good because the others (Megan and GS anyway) were so much worse.
6 of 10 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on December 24, 2008 7:26 PM
hey guys,
I just wanted to thank you all for making this such a fun season! I have loved reading all of your comments and look forward to them every week. I miss you already!
Also, Thatswhatshesaid, Patsy from AbFab!! You could not be more spot on with that one! That is so hilarious!
much love and merry holidays!
7 of 10 | Posted by MandaMo | Posted on December 26, 2008 8:50 AM
to mandamo:
in an effort to hide on from my family. i spent some time reading all the latest recaps and tvgasm. i was happy to stumble upon yours because it was so freaking funny. i watched a minute of this show and your recaps make the show seem way more entertaining and interesting than the show actually is. or i suppose your recaps make the show seem like it has a higher production quality than it actually does. but you a funny and talented writer- thanks for the laughs.
8 of 10 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on December 26, 2008 11:49 AM
Good news! I just read that this show has been cancelled.
I wouldn't have believed that three people could interview any worse than the three finalists, even if they tried. GS asking where Elle was going to be in 10 years; that's what the employer asks YOU. (Where you're going to be in x years.) Johanna saying that they should hire her because she just can't go back to her old job. You're supposed to tell them how it will benefit THEM to have you on their staff. And good ol' Megan just acting like she couldn't care less. How have these people ever gotten jobs? TOOOOO funny.
9 of 10 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on December 28, 2008 5:55 PM
pixie sorry your comment didn't show up! the spammers have been trying to start a war today. thanks for your patience. LOVE
10 of 10 | Posted by flipit | Posted on December 29, 2008 7:00 PM