December 23, 2009

Survivor: No One Cares, Russell

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Seriously, can you stop talking about how you got robbed? I just want you and your tiny, tiny shirt to go away.

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Posted by Schoonie at 7:44 PM | | Comments (24)

December 21, 2009

Survivor: What Makes A Winner

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So we're actually going to do things a little differently this year and start with the reunion, for a couple of reasons. For one, there's actually more to discuss in the reunion than in the finale itself, and also I'm sure you guys are just itching to throw in your two cents on the outcome. And it turns out that I kind of have a lot to say about this. So...away we go!

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Posted by Schoonie at 3:28 PM | | Comments (50)

December 19, 2009

Survivor: Prayer Warriors Untie! Er....Unite!

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Tonight, on Survivor: God is like "Yeah, this season sucks and I want nothing to do with any of you. If you need me, I'll just be off SOLVING REAL PROBLEMS. JERKS."

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Posted by Schoonie at 11:48 AM | | Comments (25)

December 14, 2009

Survivor: Bowling League of Terror

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Tonight, on Survivor: it's two episodes in one! Also, people finally figure out that it might be a good thing to get rid of Russell at some point.

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Posted by Schoonie at 8:44 PM | | Comments (31)

December 7, 2009

Survivor: Shambo The Messiah


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This week, on Survivor: Shambo really, seriously believes that she is an instrument of God. She's like Tim Tebow, but with less crying! Okay, with more crying.

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Posted by Schoonie at 7:20 PM | | Comments (35)

November 23, 2009

Survivor: Hog Tied

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This week, on Survivor: Shambo continues to find new and interesting ways to make me hate her; Russell would be pretty cool, if he would just stop talking so much; and John decides to grow a brain all of a sudden.

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Posted by Schoonie at 11:23 AM | | Comments (42)

November 16, 2009

Survivor: Lightning Strikes Twice

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REMEMBER THIS FACE, FOR IT WILL SPELL YOUR DOOM, LAURA.

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Posted by Schoonie at 4:08 PM | | Comments (37)

November 10, 2009

Survivor Photocap: Merging The Tribes

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We're doing something different and rocking the Photocap this week, because I don't want you guys to have to wait any longer to discuss what turned out to be a totally rad episode. So, here goes!

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Posted by Schoonie at 1:50 AM | | Comments (19)

November 2, 2009

Shambo The Decider

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Tonight, on Survivor: Shambo is made the leader of Galu. Yes, that really happened.

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Posted by Schoonie at 5:50 PM | | Comments (30)

October 25, 2009

Survivor: Purple Rain

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Tonight, on Survivor: The most miserable episode ever. You might as well ask me to recap Schindler's List.

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Posted by Schoonie at 4:27 PM | | Comments (33)

December 23, 2009:Survivor: No One Cares, Russell
December 21, 2009:Survivor: What Makes A Winner
December 19, 2009:Survivor: Prayer Warriors Untie! Er....Unite!
December 14, 2009:Survivor: Bowling League of Terror
December 7, 2009:Survivor: Shambo The Messiah
November 23, 2009:Survivor: Hog Tied
November 16, 2009:Survivor: Lightning Strikes Twice
November 10, 2009:Survivor Photocap: Merging The Tribes
November 2, 2009:Shambo The Decider
October 25, 2009:Survivor: Purple Rain
October 20, 2009:Survivor: Keeping It Down
October 13, 2009:Survivor: Choking The Chickens
October 5, 2009:Survivor: Score One For People Who Are Not Racist
September 28, 2009:Survivor: Finger Guns
September 21, 2009:Survivor: The Quest For Camera Time
May 21, 2009:Survivor Reunion: Lie Detector Fest
May 20, 2009:Survivor: Man Friends
May 17, 2009:Survivor: FINALLY
May 10, 2009:Survivor: No Principals
May 3, 2009:Survivor: More Like Dragon S-Liar!
April 27, 2009:Survivor: Tyson vs. HolyFAILd
April 20, 2009:Survivor: Opinions Are Like...Wait, How Does The Rest Go?
April 12, 2009:Survivor: And Now, The Most Anticlimactic Episode Ever
April 6, 2009:Survivor: Hide The Idol, Jerk
March 16, 2009:Survivor: Faking It
March 9, 2009:Survivor: Sex and Beans
March 1, 2009:Survivor: Quit Making Faces
February 22, 2009:Survivor: Hot Girl on Girl Action
February 15, 2009:Survivor: The Many Faces of Sandy
February 8, 2009:Survivor Tocantins: A Preview
December 19, 2008:Survivor Reunion: Crystal Is Actually A Gold Medalist
December 16, 2008:Survivor: My Tears Make The Decisions Around Here
December 13, 2008:Survivor: No, You're Not
December 7, 2008:Survivor: Bob Does Not Teach Art
November 23, 2008:Survivor: Sugar is Sweet
November 18, 2008:Survivor: Swimfan'd!
November 9, 2008:Survivor: Who The Hell Is Susie?
November 5, 2008:Survivor: Finally, Something Happens
October 30, 2008:Survivor: Kota Wins, We All Lose
October 20, 2008:Survivor: People Quitting and Getting Hit In The Face
October 14, 2008:Survivor: People Who Suck Wear Red Now
October 6, 2008:Survivor: A Map? For Real?
September 27, 2008:Survivor: Crap-frica
May 18, 2008:Survivor: Really? Parvati?
May 9, 2008:Survivor: Committing Hair-a-kiri
May 8, 2008:Survivor: James and the Giant OH MY GOD, THAT IS DISGUSTING.
April 29, 2008:Survivor: If I Hear Someone Say 'Eat the Apple' One More Time...
April 22, 2008:Survivor: Things Finally Get Interesting
April 19, 2008:Survivor: Meet the Fo-Shizzle Tribe
April 9, 2008:Survivor: Crying Over Bad Hair
April 2, 2008:Survivor: Remember When Some of These People Were Cool?
March 13, 2008:Survivor: FYI - The Weak People Also Get A Vote
March 6, 2008:Survivor: Joel's Paranoia Is Bigger Than His Head
February 28, 2008:Survivor: And Now, For Something Awkward
February 25, 2008:Survivor: And Now, a Special Announcement
February 9, 2008:Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites and Jonny Fairplay
December 20, 2007:Survivor: Tiny Mormons 1, Lunchladies 0
December 16, 2007:Survivor: Fourth Is The New First
December 10, 2007:Survivor: Meet the Mullets
December 5, 2007:Survivor: Dig It
November 19, 2007:Survivor: Pay No Attention To The Giant Who Is Currently Gnawing On Your Leg
November 12, 2007:I've Seen Better Strategy In An Episode of Spongebob Squarepants
November 8, 2007:Survivor: You Have Not Lived Until You've Heard Probst Say "Whatup"
October 26, 2007:Survivor: The Long Way Around
October 17, 2007:Survivor: Sudoku - The Silent Killer
October 15, 2007:Survivor: The Stereotype Olympics
October 7, 2007:Survivor: Hippos Need Love Too
September 29, 2007:Survivor: Needs Less Dave and More Panda
September 22, 2007:The Official Survivor: China Panda Count Now Stands At One
May 25, 2007:Finale, Part 3: Dreamz and the Moustache of Destiny
May 23, 2007:Survivor Finale, Part 2: Enjoy the Truck! And the Soul Crushing Guilt!
May 17, 2007:Survivor Finale, Part 1: Faceplants Are Even Better In Slow Motion
May 11, 2007:Get Out Of My Dreamz, Get Into My Car
May 7, 2007:Dreamz is Officially Scarier Than Freddy Kreuger
April 30, 2007:It's All About The Placement Of The Poor Sports
April 24, 2007:And Now, The Best Episode of Survivor Ever
April 15, 2007:Purple is the New WTF
April 8, 2007:Our Long National Nightmare Is Now Over
April 3, 2007:You Can't Stop The Rock
March 25, 2007:Everyone Who's Annoying, Step to the Left, Please.
March 10, 2007:Clash of the Stupid Nicknames
March 2, 2007:Ravu Wins a Challenge! Sort Of!
February 26, 2007:Recap: The Slip and Slide Follies
February 19, 2007:Recap: Survivor: Do You Know What Time It Is? Tool Time!
February 12, 2007:Recap: Survivor: You Smell That? 
January 19, 2007:America's Next Top TVgasm Writer: Island Edition!
December 19, 2006:Recap: Survivor: This Reunion Is Music To My Ears!
December 18, 2006:Recap: Survivor: And The Most Powerful Race Is...
December 15, 2006:Recap: Survivor: The Old Hat Trick
December 12, 2006:Recap: Survivor: One False Step...
December 3, 2006:Recap: Survivor: Seriously, This Show Has To Stop Being So Awesome.
November 17, 2006:Recap: Survivor: White Supremacy?
November 10, 2006:Recap: Survivor: White Lies...
November 3, 2006:Recap: Survivor: More Puzzling Than Ever
October 20, 2006:A Textbook Survivor Sighting!
:Don't Get Choked Up: You're All Going To Tribal Council!
October 18, 2006:Newsgasm: Amazing, Survivor finales set
October 13, 2006:Hug It Out, Bitch
October 6, 2006:Nice Boobies!
October 3, 2006:All Together Now
September 24, 2006:Where's The Love?
September 15, 2006:A Day At The Races
July 5, 2006:From Soft Core to Hard Time?
May 16, 2006:Jeff Probst Wears Denim and Cirie Wins a Truck
May 15, 2006:Blood, Fire, and Upsets: The Survivor Finale!
May 12, 2006:Facing The Fire
May 5, 2006:Where's The Love?
May 3, 2006:It Could Be Yours!
April 28, 2006:TVgasm Gets Advance Look at New Blackberry Models
:Divide and Conquer
April 21, 2006:I'd Like To Buy A Bowel
April 20, 2006:Who Is This Child?
April 14, 2006:Sharing Is Caring
April 9, 2006:Idol Threats
March 31, 2006:Hang In There!
March 10, 2006:The Wrong Stuff
March 4, 2006:Off With Their Heads!
February 24, 2006:Deuces Wild!
February 20, 2006:Run For The Money
February 13, 2006:Shane of Fools
February 5, 2006:Down On Exile Island
February 3, 2006:Jeff Probst and Survivor's Exile-ent Adventure
January 4, 2006:So You Want to Meet Jeff Probst
December 14, 2005:One Last Hurrah
December 12, 2005:Smell Ya Later, Guatemala!
December 9, 2005:UPDATED : Eye Spy a Reality Double Take
:The Price Is Wrong Bitch
December 3, 2005:Scumbags!
November 28, 2005:Time for a Hail Mary?
November 22, 2005:That Was Crazy!
November 16, 2005:NFL Blitz?
November 6, 2005:Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun, Double the Immunity Idols
October 30, 2005:Enough Chocolate to Make Your Head Spin
October 24, 2005:Tribal Council? Let's Make That a Double
October 17, 2005:All That Glitters is Not Golden Boy
October 7, 2005:Breaking Up is Hard to Do
October 4, 2005:White Women Can't Jump
September 27, 2005:Take My Breath Away
September 20, 2005:Boot and Rally
September 15, 2005:I Feel Your Pain
:Reminder - TVgasm Survivor Pick 'Em
September 12, 2005:Survivor Guatemala - Another Chance to Win
September 7, 2005:Survivor: Hoosegow
August 20, 2005:From the Distracting Cameo Department
July 19, 2005:TVgasm's Reality Star Career Update of the Day
May 16, 2005:CBS Announces Survivor Winner; Rob and Amber Still Manage to Get A Prize
May 13, 2005:The Fifth Wheel
May 12, 2005:Reality Double Take
:Solid As A Rock?
May 4, 2005:Smile For The Camera, Ambah!
April 29, 2005:Ian Bathes With Another Man, Almost Gets Crabs
April 28, 2005:The Tribe Has Not Spoken
April 20, 2005:The Power of One
April 12, 2005:Come On Baby Light My Fire
April 10, 2005:Survivor Alum is Good for Some PDA
April 5, 2005:Sending Out an S.O.S.
March 28, 2005:Getting In The Box Can Be So Hard
March 17, 2005:Good Show? Let's Take a Vote!
March 14, 2005:Rumble In The Jungle
March 8, 2005:Lame Duck
March 1, 2005:A Breasted Development
February 22, 2005:Survival of the Fittest
February 14, 2005:TVgasm Survivor Preview - Your Chance to Win
December 13, 2004:Lying Liars and the People Who Vote for Them
December 10, 2004:Chris Works Both Sides While Eliza Burns Yet Another Bridge
December 3, 2004:Twila's House Falls on Ami's Head
November 28, 2004:Twila Shows Chris Where to Find His Balls
November 21, 2004:The Guys Take a Shot at Scout's Back Door
November 12, 2004:Somebody Throw These Guys A Bone
November 8, 2004:On Borrowed Time
October 29, 2004:I Am the Napster
October 22, 2004:If You Got It, Sunbathe It
October 18, 2004:Chasing Ami
October 15, 2004:Different Tribes, Same Result
October 7, 2004:You Da Man
October 1, 2004:That's Why They Play the Game
September 24, 2004:You Can't Please All the People All of the Time
September 17, 2004:Battle of the Hexes
September 2, 2004:Survivor Vanuatu: We Fall In To a Burning Ring of Fire
August 17, 2004:TVgasm Non-Exclusive: New Survivor Cast!
June 21, 2004:From The Jenna Files: A Frog In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush
June 20, 2004:From the Jenna Files: Whatever You Can Do, I Can Do Better
May 24, 2004:In Brief: Faking The Video and Rupert
May 15, 2004:Survivor Season Report Card: The Good, The Bad, and The Rupert
May 14, 2004:Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (And Yell Really Loudly Too)?
May 13, 2004:I Don't Know What You've Been Thinkin'