CBS has really begun to test the gullibility of the American populace. For those of you who may be confused, I am obviously referring to the first several minutes of the Survivor: Vanuatu premier. Good God, what was CBS thinking? Was there anybody out there that truly believed Jeff Probst was standing next to that smoking Volcano. Ugh. And then CBS takes us on an interesting, but completely unnecessary trip into Vanuatu culture. Although Mark Burnett would like to play it up as some land of cargo cults and ritual sacrifice, Vanuatu is still about 75% Christian. The time they used trying to convince us otherwise was time they could have used giving us a better look at these characters. I am holding this episode to the ridiculously high standards the Survivor series has set for itself, but as openers go, it could have done better.
I am skeptic in the matters of reality television, especially when it comes to Survivor. I majored in Anthropology as an undergrad, so I like to tell myself that I know a thing or two about ancient culture. I won't bore you with the details, but I sat through too many lectures with Prof. Welsch to be fooled so easily by Mark Burnett. The natives of Vanuatu were almost certainly actors. More specifically, I am pretty sure they simply found some people in Vanuatu that practiced the native religion and had them do their thing on the chosen island for the show. Not much more complicated than finding some people to do a civil war re-enactment. With all of the talk of respecting other cultures, do you actually think CBS would have their little party on an island that was actually inhabited? Adding all the elements of the opening ceremony, so to speak, pushed a lot of other things that normally fit into a sixty minute episode off the table. They should have just gone all the way with a 90 minute or two hour premier. What about the show you ask? A little rushed at times, but nonetheless enjoyable.
After canoeing on to the island, the teams were split up into women and men, but not in the traditional way. The tribe elder split them up and performed some sort of ritual on the men, asking them to drink a native concoction called Kaba[Check that - Kava, thanks Matt], and then killing a live pig so he could spread the blood on their faces. The whole point was to show how men and women were treated differently in the Vanuatu society, as compared to every other civilization where gender equality is no problem. One interesting part of this whole charade was the time when Jeff Probst offered the Lopevi tribe a chance to win a lucky rock by scaling a wooden pole coated in pig fat. Lea ducked out of the way and it was up to Brady to get the artifact. The task was supposed to be difficult because all of the men were going to be given a chance. Brady finished it with no problem, after first watching one of the island folk put sand on his hands and feet to aid their grip.
The rain started coming down and each team was sent off to find their camps, in the dark, with no map. These first few moments of the episode were great, because you finally get a chance to see what people are going to start talking and who is going to have a problem with some of their teammates. On the women's side, a problem arose when Scout and a couple of other women wanted to rest for a bit before continuing on with their quest for camp. There was even talk about waiting until it was light outside. Scout was mostly worried about her knee, and didn't want to wreck it on the slippery rock, even suggesting that her team leave her behind and she will catch up later. They finally got her to plod along forward and Yasur finally found their spot.
On the men's side, the problem was efficiency, or to be more accurate, a lack thereof. They began second-guessing themselves about missing their camp altogether, and Rory did not like they way they were all bunched up on one path, when there were many side paths they could have explored. Rory's problem is that he doesn't do this with much tact, and immediately began pissing people off with his act. Eventually, Lopevi also found their camp, and there was much rejoicing to be had.
« TVgasm Exclusive: Massive Brawl Erupts Between "Jack & Bobby" and Jodie Foster's New Film | Main | I Scream, You Scream... »
Comments (18)
As an anthropology major you should know they were drinking Kava, made from the kava root. I do agree that the ceremony was the typical recreation they'd do at a hotel cook-out for tourists
1 of 18 | Posted by Matt | Posted on September 17, 2004 7:16 AM
Matt,
Thanks for the proofread. Even the best of us sometimes miss the typos. You no doubt enjoyed your classes on the Trobriands as much as I did.
2 of 18 | Posted by J-unit | Posted on September 17, 2004 8:30 AM
Ummm, Kava. Heard that stuff packs an awesome buzz.
Gotta give it to Lea--it was a shrewd move to shrink the cocky-young-studboy numbers before they could start picking off the old and weak.
But Jesus! What was the matter with that guy Chris? He got whipped by a sixty-year-old woman who has survived cancer and knee replacement surgery. The woman can barely walk!
You'd think standing around holding a 'stop/go' sign all day exchanging 'eat-shit' glares with inconvenienced drivers would build up some stamina. God bless the hardworking people of highway maintenance!
3 of 18 | Posted by jack | Posted on September 17, 2004 9:13 AM
As someone who has a master's in anthropology, I can for sure tell you that there is no way they were drinking Kava. I've drank it before and even a little bit gives you a buzz and relaxes your muscles, which is why people drink it when 2 opposing tribes meet, so that they may not fight. There is no way that guy would have climbed that pole because his muscles would have given out on him. Drinking kava is like taking five shots of tequila and taking a sleeping pill right after. Plus, kava tea in indigenous settings does not have a muddy consistency like it did last night. The whole thing was staged which makes me think they would never put an anthropologist on Survivor.
4 of 18 | Posted by Anthropogist | Posted on September 17, 2004 9:34 AM
Anthropogist -
My follow up question to your post.... Where can I get my hands on some of this Kava? Im having a party this weekend, and sure would be nice to have.
Madeyoulaugh
5 of 18 | Posted by madeyoulaugh | Posted on September 17, 2004 9:39 AM
I know, I really want to try Kava. By the way, what was with all the exaggerated spitting? I believe it was Chris and Bubba who had a hard time drinking it, but instead of just spitting it out, they were like "PUHHH!!" Way to be sensitive to the actors's native culture.
Also, J-Unit, you made a glaring omission. You forgot to mention the classic image of this entire "tribe" descending upon the Survivors on their boat and then Jeff Probst emerging as their leader. That was by far one of the most awkward Probst stagings of all time. I mean, this trumped the various helicopter arrivals over the years. And to top it off, when Jeff left his faithful tribe and climbed awkwardly onto the boat, everyone clapped. All hail the host of Rock and Roll Jeopardy!
6 of 18 | Posted by b-side | Posted on September 17, 2004 10:57 AM
Hey guys,
You may want to try going to a natural food store for kava. However, I think what is sold in the US is not as potent as what you get in the South Pacific. The one I had was from someone who was doing research on some island and he made the tea for a class I was taking- Geography of Sugar, Spice, Drugs, and Drink (yeah, pretty much an excuse for our hippy professor to get us all drunk). Also, they sale Kava pills at grocery stores but I doubt you get the same effect.
7 of 18 | Posted by Anthropologist | Posted on September 17, 2004 11:55 AM
"And this also," said Probst, "has been one of the dark places of the earth."
Clearly Mark Burnett skipped post-colonial theory class on his amazing journey from t-shirt salesman to reality TV king (I guess he was too busy with Trump's 'The Art of the Deal' to pick up 'Orientalism' or 'The Signifying Monkey'). Out of the 18 new survivors, there's only one person of color, and in the first 5 minutes of the program, we get a bunch of black men dressed up--literally--as spear-chuckers.
"The Horror! The Horror!"
8 of 18 | Posted by jack | Posted on September 17, 2004 12:23 PM
Oops--I take that back. Julie is an American Indian, though apparently she was adopted and raised by white parents. And since Rory is sort of a mutant cross between Al Roker and Urkel, they basically add up to one person of color.
9 of 18 | Posted by jack | Posted on September 17, 2004 12:35 PM
Good review J-Unit. Is it just me or does 'Survivor' keep getting worse each year? I thought I was the only person who thought the first 10 minutes of the show looked fake. I'm glad to see I am not. And does anyone else think Twila reminds them of Aileen Wuornos? I know that's mean but you have to admit, they look alike, talk alike, and they both worked on a highway. And I wish they would have only started with 16 people this year and not 18. That way the teams would have had an even number and it would not have had to of been men vs. women. The fat nasty guys always vote out the muscular guys first. Before the show started I voted for Brook to be the soul survivor and instead he was the first one off. Given how unlucky I am, I think I will vote for Chris to be the winner now. I have one more comparison. Does anyone else think Rory reminds them of Marvin from 'Big Brother'? They both were the token black guy and had no alliance, plus originally everyone wanted them out first. So my prediction, Rory will come in 6th place, just like Marvin.
10 of 18 | Posted by Lisa | Posted on September 17, 2004 12:50 PM
I don't think Survivor gets worse every year. And I'm not sure if I see how the teams being 8 vs. 8 would necessitate a non battle of the sexes...
11 of 18 | Posted by b-side | Posted on September 17, 2004 1:36 PM
you can purchase ground kava root at natural food stores and mix it into a drink. enough of it can produce a good buzz. kava pills produce a light mellow buzz. if you're looking to get really f'ed up (from the powder and pills they have in the states), i'd look elsewhere...
12 of 18 | Posted by gf13 | Posted on September 17, 2004 5:46 PM
Hey gf13, I didn't think the American stuff would be the same potency as what you get in the islands. Do the pills really give you a light buzz? I never had them but just equated them with vitamin supplements. You can actually get "real" kava powder on the internet if you do a google search.
13 of 18 | Posted by Anthropologist | Posted on September 17, 2004 6:12 PM
Maybe I just think 'Survivor' gets worse each year because the first season was my favorite. And I'm not saying that having 2 teams of 8 would guarantee a non battle of the sexes but 2 teams of 9 would guarantee a battle of the sexes. Think of it this way. You can't have 1 team with 5 men/4 women and 1 team with 5 women/4 men. That would not be fair.
14 of 18 | Posted by Lisa | Posted on September 17, 2004 10:14 PM
Ahhhh... ok, i get what you were saying Lisa.
15 of 18 | Posted by b-side | Posted on September 18, 2004 3:18 AM
My favorites: FBI dude, fat non-balanceing dude, no-leg dude, and wardrobe malfuntion old lady.
I suppose I should like some of the hotties more. But rather than thinking they look hot lying there, they just look irritating and lazy.
Oh, and I'd like the cracker dude more, but they don't show him much. Dislike cracker gal, Dolly the sheeple.
16 of 18 | Posted by Nick Postaguloous | Posted on September 20, 2004 9:00 AM
I understand that in the long run it is smart for the old guys to vote out the young guys (so they don't win individual immunity challenges), but to vote out strong players at the first tribal council? Shouldn't they keep the strong people around to win tribal immunity and kick out the weak/annoying people?? Just my thoughts...
17 of 18 | Posted by melis | Posted on September 20, 2004 10:11 AM
The Opening Sucked!!!!!!
It was completely pointless & boring. And the animal sacrifice?!?!? Are they trying to compete with Fear Factor? We changed the channel during that point.
And the sexism, oh don't get me started! Women just sitting there while the men do everything. It was tacky & really pissed me off!
Those young girls on there, Get Off Your Butts!!!! That is so annoying to me that they just sit there. And then they say that the older women are working just to make them feel bad. Lazy Yappers!
18 of 18 | Posted by Genevieve | Posted on September 20, 2004 1:25 PM