Julie welcomes us to tonight's live show, wearing...well, she actually looks pretty damn good. I mean, she's got a big plastic chain around her waist, but that's just there from that one time when she broke free from her restraints and leveled several Midwestern cities. She tells us all the stuff that the previouslies just told us, as she does every single Wednesday. Man, I love that she just wants us to get the message. I know I say this in every recap, but I hate when this show does this shit, every week. What happened on Tuesday? LET'S REWATCH IT EIGHT TIMES! I am convinced that there are subliminal messages in that shit, because that's the only reason they'd do it. To make us all want some Pringles, yo.

But first! Julie tells us about how there are "crocodile tears", and they totally must have programmed her not to short out at the concept. Producers: "Here you'll say 'crocodile tears', Julie.' Chenbot: "BUT...my data says that crocodiles have no tear ducts. ERROR 404!"

After the veto ceremony (Way to go in the veto comp, BTW, James. That was pretty sick), Sharon tells us that she's pretty sure Josh is going home. Josh, however, is feeling confident. He also has a yellow bandana on his head. Isn't there some sort of gay bandana code? If so, how did the only straight BB recapper end up with this episode? Oh, wait, I read about the bandana code on this very site! Now I don't hate myself for knowing that. However, I will not be looking up what it means, because it's probably watersports or something, and that will gross me out.

However, Natalie does not want to be a tiebreaker, because it's almost certainly going to make her enemies. Josh looks concerned about this. What do you do when you are concerned? Well, cry until everyone votes for someone else, of course! Josh waits for Adam to walk in from outside and he just manufactures this spectacular show for him. He makes it look like Adam has walked in on him, and it starts out really really poorly acted, and then all of a sudden Josh is seriously crying and tears are literally falling off his nose and then he's hugging Adam and then Adam is crying and I have no idea what is going on. Luckily, someone will probably be telling me about it in flashback in like two minutes.

Adam, to his credit because he is probably a nice guy and also a bit dull, actually tries to make Josh feel better by hugging him and at one point, he wipes his nose for him. Just like he does with the retarded kids when they escape from their pen and bump their heads!

In the hot tub with Josh and James, Natalie would like them to justify keeping Josh around. "How do I know you won't come after me?" Wait, so Sharon won't go after her too? Wait, then Sharon and Natalie are in the HOH and Natalie is telling Sharon everything about how Josh came to her and tried to make a deal. Sharon promises that she won't put Natalie up all of a sudden (?) and they decide to form some sort of female alliance. So then they're calling Sheila up and they forge this alliance. Sheila is incredulous about Josh trying to make a deal, which I do not understand. Have any of these people actually met Josh?

Natalie tells us that she's going to go work Adam and Ryan to make sure that they don't vote to keep Josh. She brings Ryan up into the HOH and he tells her that he's safer with Josh in the house, which she is unable to negate. Ryan does think he can't trust Sharon, however, so Natalie goes and gets Sharon. Sharon tells him that she'd never betray him, and then they form The Most Boring Alliance Ever, because they have so much in common. Like the fact that they're both boring. As hell. Also, why is this show insisting on painting Natalie as some sort of strategic mastermind?

James and Josh talk by the pool, where Josh tells James that he thinks Natalie will keep him. "I'm tired of babysitting Sharon anyway" he says. Wait, so he's been babysitting her? I've got it all wrong!

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Posted in Survivor by Schoonie at 4:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: Hey Buddy on Apr 4, 2008 11:23 AM.