CBS Announces Survivor Winner; Rob and Amber Still Manage to Get A Prize - 
by B-Side
I'm Jewish, so I don't really know what that whole post-Christmas letdown feels like, but I imagine it's something akin to how I'm feeling at this moment now that Survivor: Palau has finally run its course. Granted, other seasons such as Pearl Islands, Amazon, and of course Borneo probably outrank this go-around (barely), but after the letdown that was All Stars and the snoozefest that was Vanuatu, it was great to have the show back in top form -- which is why I'm so sad that it's over. The good news was that the finale had all those time honored traditions we do love ever so much: the last minute backstabbing, the bitter jury, and of course, the drawn-out tribute to fallen cast members. We even got a fire-making challenge tossed in as a bonus. The downside (and I say this with only mild criticism) was that the final voting pattern was fairly predictable, and even more shocking, Jeff Probst eschewed his standard secret-agent journey with the ballot box. Does CBS mean to tell us he did NOT parachute out of an airplane, land on an elephant, gallop to a hovercraft, float over to NASA, launch into space, orbit the planet, touchdown in Antarctica, teach a school of penguins to fly, ride the birds to Manhattan, jump on Spider-Man's back, and swing into the Ed Sullivan Theater? I don't believe it for a second!
Well, this two hour snarkfest kicked off with passing images of crabs navigating through various beach-side debris. As some of you readers may know, I have a certain fixation on the various critters that populate Survivor b-roll footage, and I was more than delighted to see Palau's crustacean community back in full force. Much more interesting than rats sniffing coconuts.
Speaking of crabs, Katie kicked off day thirty-seven crying out for help. No, she hadn't swung a vine into a tree again. Instead, she and Jenn had stumbled upon a picnic basket full of food. "Help us!" the two girls cried out, perhaps flashing back to childhood picnic traumas. Tom and Ian immediately rushed to their side but were quickly relieved to discover the girls were simply being dramatic. Katie? Dramatic? Now I've seen it all.
"It sounded like someone had been massacred!" exclaimed Ian, clearly never having heard a massacre. Tom later said he thought the girls had encountered a crocodile. These guys don't know what they're talking about. It was clearly a "We've been attacked by a picnic basket!" scream. Anyone could tell you that.
Anyway, as the significance of the meal sunk in, the foursome took time for a little group hug action, Golden Girls style. Sadly, the moment was quickly ruined as Ian's underarm odor wafted over the beach, destroying all wildlife in its wake. I was surprised Katie didn't turn to him and say, "Yeah, um, Ian. Maybe the three of us should hug while you stand like fifty feet away. Maybe you could hug that palm tree over there?"
Katie: "Why do I always get stuck in Ian's armpit?"|
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