And then, it gets even more awesome. Because the other Moto members are afraid to get off of the platform for fear of losing their turn, nobody goes to help her up. She just lays there, face down, waiting for somebody to help her for like fifteen seconds. I take this time to write a long, adoring thank-you note to the editors at CBS and the good people who invented the eight second rewind button on my remote control.
I used to tell my friends that whenever I feel down, I just watch Cheaters because it's always hilarious and trashy, and there is always something to laugh at. Now? I just think of this, and it brightens my day a little. Some people have those posters with the cats hanging from tree branches, and I get this, right here.
I want to move on, but it's so, so hard. I just want to recap that ten seconds for the next fifty years. Anyway, then it gets EVEN BETTER. Lisi struts over to the first board of the recently exposed match and reveals it, and then she moves toward what she thinks is the second part of the match, all smirks and smartass. But, she goes to the wrong one, and Moto gasps. And because they made a noise, Jeff DISQUALIFIES THEM. I add Jeff to my thank-you note list. To top it all off, Earl walks out, flips the first part of the same match, and then goes to the second board, stares Moto right in the face, gets this look like, "You just got served," and then grabs the point for Ravu. I might have a heart attack, this is so awesome. Best game of Concentration ever.
So then we get a montage of people making matches, and soon the score is 6-6. This means that there is one actual match left, and four boards with no matches. The tribe that makes the last match wins immunity.
After Michelle and Edgardo fail to make a match, Rocky gets a turn to end it. A couple of people on Ravu seem to know what to do here, but soon everyone is talking in Rocky's ear. However, the general consensus from the discussion you can hear is that the board with a 9 is the match. So Rocky goes out and flips the first 9; however, then Rocky the Spaz inevitably takes over, and he can't remember where to go. He wanders over to a board, flips it...and mismatches. God, so frustrating! Cassandra, then heads out, makes the match, and wins the challenge for Moto. Arguably Rocky's fault, again. For those of you scoring at home, both challenge losses this episode can now be attributed to Rocky.
Now back at Camp Kazakhstan, Ravu is tasked with voting yet another person out of their tribe. To Rocky's credit, he takes responsibility for the Immunity Challenge loss. To Rocky's discredit, he then bitches about the communication style of his team, which he created by constantly flapping is jaw at EVERY CHALLENGE SO FAR. Anthony tells us that getting rid of Rocky would probably get rid of a lot of tension on the tribe, and: YES. Please do that. It's the smart thing to do, honestly, and would help with the tribe unity so, so much. If the counter argument is that Ravu needs his strength, I would like to direct you to his giant goose egg at almost every challenge, so that's out. When you can't focus strength, what good is it?
Anthony and Rocky discuss Rita's constant jawing. Anthony wisely recognizes this as a chance to get the attention off of him and focus it on someone else, so he goes along with it. I don't want to touch the gender issues here, but I bet if you lined all of Rocky's words up in a straight line, they would reach to the next continent over, I'm just saying. It's sort of like the Sylvester Stallone knock-off calling the Penelope Cruz knock-off black, there.
Yau-Man, Michelle and Mookie discuss the vote, and Yau-man says basically he doesn't care between Rita or Anthony, because "neither will change the way this tribe operates." Because the way you've been operating has worked so well to this point? Question asked and answered, right there. Get rid of Rocky, god!
« Old McDharma Had A Farm... | Main | Crash: The All-White Version »
Comments (17)
Haha! Lisi's face-plant was awesome. What made it even funnier was that she fell because she tried to run. Why even run? It's not a race, dumbass.
1 of 17 | Posted by joyfulchicken
|
Posted on March 10, 2007 11:24 AM
The Lisi face plant was the best thing to happen this season!!! This is really the end of a great show. Last year the mutiny scared us and made us really want the underdogs to win and they did! Now even the underdogs suck. With the exceptions of Yau, Earl and maybe Michelle and Cassandra. RIP Survivor.
2 of 17 | Posted by campfiregirl
|
Posted on March 10, 2007 4:41 PM
aw- Alex captioned himself!
Very funny recap Schoonie!
Only 9 pages? Come on!
The Lisi fall was great. The fact that Yau did not find the idol was not. Dig man- DIG!
3 of 17 | Posted by zoobabe
|
Posted on March 10, 2007 6:20 PM
AND a Veronica Mars reference!
You did that for me didn't you Schoonie? Love ya! :)
4 of 17 | Posted by zoobabe
|
Posted on March 10, 2007 7:43 PM
When Lisi fell, I said, "OMG! Schoonie's going crazy right now!"
5 of 17 | Posted by geewits
|
Posted on March 11, 2007 1:25 AM
Great recap - even if you DID forget your jampony shout out!
I was disappointed in Probst - he missed a great mocking moment. When Boo arrived at the reward challenge eating a mango, Probst made sure that Ravu knew it was a burn on them. He made sure to rile Rocky up with how Boo was eating in front of the starving losers.
When Earl returned from Exile he was chomping away on a mango. I thought he was doing it to show off back at Boo (and Probst) but it went without mention.
The ONLY way that Lisi face plant could have been any better is if Rocky was underneath her and had been flattened like a cartoon character.
6 of 17 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
|
Posted on March 11, 2007 11:44 AM
I actually included it, but it disappeared from the final draft because I thought it might be inappropriate for a male to be all, "I want to slap her!" even though I do. No offense to jamp!
7 of 17 | Posted by schoonie
|
Posted on March 11, 2007 1:18 PM
Since I have class on Thursdays at 8 and can't watch Survivor, I am always anxious to read your recaps. You always do such a good job of pointing out all of the funny things but still explaining the gist of the episode. My roommate always looks at me like I'm crazy when I laugh out loud reading your recaps. Keep up the good work, Schoonie!
8 of 17 | Posted by UglyAllie
|
Posted on March 11, 2007 8:15 PM
::Clapping::
Thanks Schoonie. I've been bustin you the past few weeks for the long recaps. This was perfect length. It really does make for an easier read. I actually got to finish this one - Good Work!!
9 of 17 | Posted by scribbles531
|
Posted on March 12, 2007 7:37 AM
I actually wasn't making a concerted effort to make it shorter this week, I think there was just less to touch on. The next one could be epic. But maybe I'm just getting better at this or something. Thanks for the compliment!
10 of 17 | Posted by schoonie
|
Posted on March 12, 2007 9:37 AM
Schoonie, your recaps are getting better and better each week, and they were pretty good to begin with.
As soon as Lisi hit the deck I was thinking about how somewhere out there you were also thanking the Survivor gods for this wonderful gift.
In every group of guy friends, there is a guy like Rocky. Inevitably the scrawniest guy, he is quick to run his mouth and start some fight he has no hope of winning without everyone coming to his recscue.
I used to feel bad for Ravu, but after that reward challenge, no more. Their brains are either turned to mush from hunger or they are just retarded. How could NO ONE even try to just sidestep when a Moto member came barrelling across the platform and do an "Ole!" and let them go flying into the water by their own momentum?
11 of 17 | Posted by JasonR
|
Posted on March 12, 2007 10:23 AM
P.S. loved the gratuitious "Friday Night Lights" reference. Since there are only about 100 of us nationwide watching that show, that was a serious in-joke.
12 of 17 | Posted by JasonR
|
Posted on March 12, 2007 10:26 AM
I absolutely LOVE Friday Night Lights. Now that The Wire is gone for a while, that show is seriously the best thing on television right now, and it's such a pity that more people don't watch things like that and Veronica Mars instead of shitty American Idol. Gross.
13 of 17 | Posted by schoonie
|
Posted on March 12, 2007 10:34 AM
I really didn't care one way or another about Lisi until I started reading your recaps - then my loathing started to grow. I think it's too bad that Ravu couldn't put in a gratuitous cross-camp vote for Lisi as she was being the epitome of a complete tard - I hope there are more pratfalls in our future.
I'm gonna go with the prediction that a certain little Asian man has indeed found the immunity idol and he's just not letting anyone know. With all of the riveting drahmah going on (/sarcasm) I think that him pulling the idol out at the opportune moment will be beautiful, so the producers are going along with his schemes. He's too smart to not have figured out how to get in the ground - after all he is of the "breaking open the box by cracking it in the corner" physics genius.
14 of 17 | Posted by jennae
|
Posted on March 12, 2007 2:25 PM
HILARIOUS. schoonie, i feel the same way about 'cheaters.'
this recap was a nice antidote to the episode itself, which i find unbearably painful to watch. yes, we had lisi's absurdly ridiculous faceplant to enjoy, but, at the end of the day, the bitch got a free pass once again, and got to sit around being a smug cunt towards Dreamz, who, whatever else you want to say about him, has been strong in the challenges (which, i think, is why they didn't cut him instead of lilliana).
stacy and lisi's treatment of dreamz and cassandra was NAUSEATING. i don't think i've been so disgusted with a pair of survivors since jenna, heidi, alex, and rob c. sunbathed while butch, christie, and michael hauled the firewood and water. of course, three out of those four eventually got their just desserts, so hopefully the same will happen to stacy and lisi--SOON.
kudos to alex for being the only person on his team to show a shred of sense or decency.
this is the silver lining: whenever a team is just getting creamed, and there seems to be no hope in sight, burnett comes up with a way to enable them to flip the tables. we saw it last season, and, judging from the previews, it's going to happen again, at least to some small extent.
i'm really praying that the earl/yau-man alliance endures. they are patient, decent, and good-natured even when they're getting their noses literally rubbed in the mud.
as i've said before, the 'luxury' concept sucks, because, aside from a single, closely contested challenge, the moto tribe has done nothing to earn their advantage.
at any rate, i am glad to have had a few laughs with this re-cap, because the show was torture for me. me and mrs. jack watch every week with our hardcore survivor-nut friends; usually we're all laughing and cracking up, but this week, it was like watching the funeral of a five-year old cancer patient--twice. thanks, schoonie, for the much-needed comic relief.
15 of 17 | Posted by jack
|
Posted on March 13, 2007 11:07 AM
Schoonie, AWESOME recap! Enjoyed it very much, thank you!
16 of 17 | Posted by MrsC
|
Posted on March 13, 2007 12:26 PM
"Take the points where you can get them, Chivalry McOldman."
This made me laugh so hard, I almost peed a little.
Best recap this season so far.
*hifive*
17 of 17 | Posted by ErraticDawn
|
Posted on March 15, 2007 10:45 AM