I like the hidden idol idea. We have side bets on who will find it. Also I like the idea that you have to use it before the vote. What if no one was even thinking about you and you whip that boy out? What a waste. But funny!

Someone forgot to edit!

Bobby Jon blowing snot rockets to puntuate Jamie's sentences really minus some of his hotness points.

But I don't care.

I want him to find the idol because I really can't see him winning any challenges that involves solving puzzles.

To Jamie(err...why-do-i-look-like-john-mayer?): When you need someone (with ADD) like Judd to tell you to shut up, you're in big trouble.

J-Unit - you totally missed the best line in the episode which was when Brandon stated that if Jamie got voted out he would crap his pants! priceless!!

Hey, great recap. I spoke with Danni yesterday at the Chiefs game, and she still looks like she is in the best shape of her life. She was very nice. I don't think too many people realized who she was..although they did show her on the big screens a few times.

Hugs, not drugs!

I like the immunity idol hidden in the woods idea. But I HATE that you have to produce it before the vote. That is sooooo stupid. It changes nothing. It hardly throws a wrench in the works, and I'm all about throwing a wrench in the works. Imagine, if you will, that Brandon had the idol. The voting goes down. The Probester "tallies" the votes. Then in a dramatic fashion Brandon says "Aha, M-er F-ers, I've got the idol." Then horrible asswipe Jamie would have had the most votes. It would add more suspense, which is desperately needed. Otherwise, as has been pointed out, the voting goes along old tribal lines. Boring!!! I can not stand that people in this game don't seem to have much sack. I mean why didn't Rafe and/or Steph vote for Jamie? Who would know? I would vote for whoever I felt like and then lie about it. Shake it up a little.
Does andyone remember the best Hottie-Jon insult? I can't think of it but at the time I was hoping it would be in the re-cap.
Why did Gary need immunity? Shouldn't he have let one of the others win it? Why did any of the former Nakums participate in the challenge? What face was there to save? Could Jamie be a bigger douche bag? Is Rafe gay or Mormon? I used to like Lydia and root for her, but I know I feel like she's a bit of a wart. Kind of a hanger on. I do enjoy her singing and dancing, but she must still be left because every team needs a mascot. Gary definitely has some dental issues. He is like one of those old loopy people who are constantly jawing at their ill fitting dentures. Looks like some of his bottom teeth in front are either missing or rotten. That must smell delicious out there in the jungle.
P.S. I am still traumatized by the Probst Porn from last week. How does that wind up on the internet? Why would he stand naked in a messy office and appear to offer his schlong like he was a waiter at a nice restaurant displaying a bottle of wine?

Not sure why, but the funniest line for me this week was Bobby Jon (to Jamie): "I'm not gonna let you Big Boy me!"

Looks like Bobby Jon is finally going to achieve his "lifelong" dream of being on a Survivor jury.

Thank you 33jones. That was precisely the line I was thinking of. For some reason I thought it was a riot. I'm gonna make sure to say that to someone later today. Everybody knows, "I'm not gonna let you big boy me" is the new "I'm Rick James, bitch"

Lqueen,

I think the Probst picture is a fake, if that makes it any less traumatic.

LOL, LQ!! I got those pics from a friend too and kept looking for a weird neck line (yup, THAT'S why I was staring at the pics...), but didn't see any. Kinda like pasting Oprah on a skinny body, but I guess this would be in reverse...

I also agree about the immunity idol being lame. I, too, think it would be so cool for someone to spring it out after they've gotten too many votes so the other person who thought they were sitting pretty (in this case, Jamie who definitely is NOT pretty) would be kicked off. That would be so much better!!

where can i find that probst pick?

Bobby Jon's "big boy" remark was Pure Southern 'Rasslin'-inspired trash talk. All it lacked was Jamie coming back with, "You couldn't whoop half my ass with the other half helpin' you."

yeah, this one was a bummer, and the existence of a tight nakum majority does not bode well for the show's entertainment value over the next few weeks. worst of all, the jerky boys are in control, with queen bitch steph pulling the strings. it would have been fun if rafe, cindy, and/or lydia would have flipped, but choosing not to upset their very secure positions in the game was the smart move, if not the more pleasing. brandon was easy to like, but if your best strategy when targeted is to stare off pensively into the distance, you sort of deserve to get your torch snuffed.

yaxha's mistake all along has been confusing this idea of 'deserving to be there' with playing strategy. j-unit, you are dead right that the turning point in the game was the stupid idea of booting blake, who not only might have helped yaxha win another challenge or two, but who would have been a perfect person either to serve as a target or to end up with in the finals. they made the same mistake when they joined nakum, choosing to target jamie for being 'undeserving,' when they should have been persuading lydia, rafe, and cindy to re-up with them against the queen bitch and the jerky boys, who doubtlessly intend to get rid of the weaker, more likable trio once they're through with the yaxha purge.

rafe and cindy may yet flip, but they'll probably boot jamie or judd because he's a pain in the ass, when their number one target should be steph, who is pulling the strings. my guess is that rafe's plan is to let the axis of evil take out b.j. and danni and then, with lydia and cindy and gary as the swing vote, knock out steph and one of the jerky boys, then sway lydia and gary to boot cindy, leaving himself in the final 4 w a reviled jerk (judd or jamie), a liar (gary), and a coat-tail rider who's been carried from the beginning (lydia).

but even smart people act like raving idiots on survivor, especially when they're the 'nice guy' type. only fat nudist tax evaders and pornstar/used car salesmen seem to know how to scheme.

ANTF,
There was a link in comment #48 from last week. The comment wasn't at all descriptive so I just clicked. Not safe for work? What's work? Thank you J-Unit. I am less traumatized thinking it's a phony. Porn is just not appealing to me in any way. Even though that person had a pretty nice bod I still feel like gagging. I just think I'm allergic to porn. Now, in the flesh...
Oh, I almost forgot. How about the previews for next week!!! I think Peter "Judd" DeLuise gets cocked, blacks out, and pukes in the shelter. I can not wait for that! LOVE those wine and beer rewards.

My Bobby Jon love has gone up a bit after this episode. Gah I hate Jamie, why couldnt he have been the one to leave?

I agree that they shouldnt make the contestants show the hidden idol before the votes, it would be SO much better if they could use them after the votes are read.

What makes you think the photo of Jeff was a phony? I showed it to my husband and now he almost refuses to watch the show with me because I keep making funny comments about it - and he does not want to be reminded of it. I think it's real, it would explain a lot about why Jeff is the way he is!

Getting rid of Blake didn't make any difference at all for Yaxha. The next episode was the one with the double tribal council, so no difference there, followed by the one with finding those puzzle pieces in the sand, which only two members - Brandon and Bobby Jon - could do anyway, and athleticism wasn't really a factor beyond lifting the pieces. I could've cried when Brandon got stuck on that last piece though *sniff*. (Blake might've helped on the reward challenge with the Indiana Jones ball, but I think idiot twins Jamie/Judd were pretty much unbeatable, and Yaxha did manage to win the next reward.)

Brandon was my favorite. I will only be reading the recaps from now on.

Two words: Stadium Steps!! There was no way Gary wasn't going to win Immunity -- the challenge was specifically designed for a football player. During his years of playing football (grade school to pros) he has to have run tens of thousands of rows from the bottom of the stadium to the top and back down to the field in conditioning drills.

Looks like you called it out, Jack.

Perhaps next week I'll have to change my name--well, I guess I never said it was his personality I dug . . . that jerky boy!!! I have to say, what an ironic pleasure to hear him say over and over, "just shut up"--and not be talking to himself!

Jamie is evil--evil evil evil, and it made me sick to see his sinsister leer, and not have him get axed by surprise!!! even if he did do his plan of taking Judd to the end, I'm not sure it's such a slam dunk for him to win. He really should have seen having BJ in the jury will only hurt him! (as opposed to a chance with Brandon--slim I'm sure)

I could see Lydia and Rafe making a move, not sure about Cindy, but since Judd, Jamie and Steph are so strong, I'd expect their threateningness to come up soon. Lydia and Rafe could end up doing well in all this, I still see some power struggles that will take some time to resolve and soon enough, they'll be down to the last few.

Looks like Judd has a vomit episode in camp coming up . . . ooo, what a turn on!

J-unit, loved the breast feeding!!!

Lqueen, I'm still reeling too--I can't imagine what would bring about such a picture, or pictures, and I keep thinking they're fake, but then, cropping his face would be such a stroke of genius!

(and how to explain that skin flap--being a photoshop guy myself, I'd not have added it, and would likely have removed it)

Oh, and A's next top fan, there's a link to the pic in the former episodes feedback (I think last one) if you want to share in our collective trauma.

I didn't even know Cindy existed until this week's episode. What has she done for me lately?
Her "speech" at tribal council should have not only changed HER vote, but should have changed Rafe's and maybe even Judd...

The next one that needs to go is Stephanie. She is SO annoying. Does nothing but complains.

I agree that the immunity idol should be a 'secret' that can be used any time up until Jeff says 'the tribe has spoken'. Like the week when there were 2 tribal councils...how much more suspenseful was it when you had to hope that the person you voted for didn't get the immunity? It means that you have to hope that you weren't the 'second' choice!

Maybe we'd have some weeks where more than 2 people get votes, like the 'majority' side of the tribe splitting their votes in hopes that if one of the two people they voted for has the idol then at least the other one would go.

I also hope that they don't show US who gets the idol. I kept hoping that they would only show us that it was removed from the tree and not tell us who got it. Then that would give us something to speculate about...who has it? when will they use it? etc.

(didn't have time to real all comments)

was i the only one seriously turned on by the alpha-male verbal scrap at the immunity challenge??

hel-looooo men! woof!

i am now officially a big fan of BJ's (tee-hee).

I loved Brandon, SO sad he got voted off. And yes, I can't believe you forgot his "I'm going to crap my pants" line. Classic. At least we finally got to see him without that big hat on before he left.

You also forgot to mention that Rafe nearly CRIED during the immunity challenge while Jamie was acting up. I can't stand him. And does anyone else think it's strange that a wilderness guide isn't good at finding anything?! I think I'll skip that tour... he'll walk me right into a hornet's nest.

Did no one else notice the hypocrisy on Gary's part when he was lecturing Rafe about morals and integrity in trying to convince him to vote out Jamie? I mean COME ON DUDE! You've been lying the whole game! That guy is a piece of work. I think that the lesser knowns of the alliance (Rafe, Lydia, and Cindy) should stick with the six until there is only Danni left and then pull her in as a 4th to vote out Jamie, Judd, and Stephenie. I hope someone finds that other idol too. I agree with those who think it would have been better to have them use it after the TC voting.

I hate seeing all the people I like getting voted off, while the assholes stick around. I really liked Brandon. How boing is it going to be to watch them pick off Bobby Jon, Danni, and Gary in the next 3 weeks. I hope something happens to shake things up. I was so pissed when Stephenie was telling Bobby Jon she would try to get him ninth place. How generous of her! I hate that bitch. I hope to God my precious Bobby Jon wins individual immunity next week, and that the challenge is not a puzzle.

Congratulations to Rafe for officially joining the axis of evil. Do you really think any of those assholes are going to let you get beyond the final four? They are all so reviled they will never take you to the final tow. I guess being a wilderness guide who can find nothing in the wild, by your own admission, means you also couldn't find a backbone in addition to the testicles you are missing.

Also a special shout out to Cindy. Way to guarantee yourself sixth place! Excellent scheming.

I forgot about our favorite sociopath Jamie! Now 99.9% of people on Survivor are trying to make it in the business. It even says in Jamie's bio that in addition to having a twin named Ramie (hysterical) he was also on All My Children. Who on earth would hire this guy after the way he has acted on Survivor. I was watching with a friend and she said he looks like he could be moody. I say he looks like he could be a serial killer.

"...the immunity challenge was going to be a contest to see who was the best pot head. No, they weren't going to make people smoke the jungle ganja and see who was the last to fall over"
Rafe "Mountain Wind" would so win that challenge.
I agree, what kind of wilderness guide is he that can only find a hornets nest? Jeff Healy would do a better job guiding me in the wilderness. "And now, children, here is a nest of water moccassins, and they really love to be shaken..." What a douchebag!

Jamie didn't use to bother me but now I cannot stand to even look at him. A few weeks ago I thought Bobby Jon was the bumbling idiot, now I know that I was wrong.

Why can't someone shut Jamie up by telling him to go cut a rope? Shut the hell up.

"Go cut a rope" makes me laugh my ass off every time. Wasn't that the best? I forgot about the Steph trying to get Hottie-Jon ninth place. Such a deal. Has it not occurred to any of these ethically ambiguous dorks to switch back to former tribal allegiances? I would love for just one of these people to evolve into a vertebrate. It would be so rad. I mean, it's a flippin' game show where you're trying to win a million dollars. You don't REALLY owe anybody anything. Why not ally yourself with fun, pleasant people that you enjoy being around? Why would anybody choose to be with brooding, angry Jamie? I now wish that Bobby-Jon would've given him a good old fashioned southern beat down during the turkey stand-off a few weeks ago. Has there ever been a Survivor fist fight?

I read somewhere that after the Robb-Clay choking incident in Thailand, Survivors were warned that it was now official show policy that you would be kicked off for fighting.

Isn't about time for Danni, Gary, and Bobby Jon to start scheming? The only real leverage they have is their seat on the jury, what don't they use that? They should all approach a different member of the axis of evil in confidence, preferably Lydia, Rafe, and Cindy and tell them if they don't vote them off they will give them their vote if they make it to the final two. If two of them were to turn, well then, there you go. It's not much, but what else can they do?

There is plenty of time to scheme. I think Rafe was really on the edge last time, and I could still see him switching, along with maybe Cindy, who was originally Nakum and won for the most tribe spirit, so she may still like Danni and Bobby Jon. Lydia seems like she might go with Rafe, if for no other reason than to not piss off her card playing partner.

I agree with everybody here who said that Lydia, Rage, and Cindy need to get their acts together because there is no way they are going to get into the top three in the current alignment.

Hey J (re: #34),

"Rafe" as "Rage" = Funniest typo ever.

You nailed Gary's jaw for me, thanks. I was wondering what bothered me so much about his face.

Your breastfeeding line...too funny!

The whole recap, very funny.

Brandon was my favorite too. Damn it! I really don't like anyone else at all, it's almost not worth watching. But like the good little Tube-Feeder that I am, I suppose I'll keep nursing away at it.

Oh and I don't think Jeffie's "probe" was real either. Looked Photoshopped to me; a pic of his head stuck on some other guy's bod.

If you look *very* carefully, you can see the photo quality of the face and the photo quality of the body are different. At least, I thought so and I've done some photoshopping at times.

i "Rafe" as "Rage" = Funniest typo ever.

Hahaha. I bet Rafe would love Rage, not that there's anything wrong with that.

I am hoping that Rafe is a Mormon so Lizardqueen can pontificate about how he is not a real Mormon, just like she gave us a sermon telling us that the Weavers were not real Christians.

???????? Where the hell did that come from? Why Rafe? Why Mormon? Aren't Mormons Christians? Are you Ned? I'm confused.

And I believe her point was that aspects of their behaviour are un-Christian. Why they are.

Whoops, *which* they are, I mean.

the weavers may be christians, but they're still huge redneck jerks (the mom, anyway--you can hardly blame the kids for turning out rotten when mom's egging them on to treat other people like crap).

rafe is a mormon according to CBS, and clearly he is having a hard time being associated with the asshole patrol, but i don't see any inconsistency between his game and his beliefs. the fact is that rafe's well-positioned for the moment, as jamie, judd, and steph will draw most of the ire for routing skeletor (sorry, danni, but the rexy look is getting a little sickening), bobby jesus (he of the righteous anger), and the soulful farmboy.

i think you're right, j-unit--rafe and cindy are thinking ahead. i felt like i saw signals that gary and rafe have some sort of side deal going on. i think rafe wants to flip the tables and is just being patient. they know they can't wait around too long, but their chances are better with the jury if they let steph and the jerky boys take care of the dirty work. we may have to wait a week or two for things to get interesting, but rafe and cindy are too smart to end up as pawns in steph's master plan.

Hey Bitch-hole,
I never said the Weavers weren't Christians. I just said they suck ass.

Dana,

You should try out for next season--very clever!

Lizardqueen, ummm, then what did you mean when you said:

"Let me point out that they are the most un-Christlike people to grace the small screen since Jim and Tammy Faye. Their very shallow understanding of faith, their enormous hypocrisy, the fact that they seem to practice a form of Hinduism all the while calling it Christianity is alarming."

You are bigger hypocrite then the Weavers are! LOL

OMG! LOL! WTF! BTW! Boy is my face red! I am so ashamed of myself! I hereby repent of all my sins. Please allow me to bow down and fellate you, Oh Righteous Weaverfan.
Psyche! There's nothing I love more than getting a Weaverfan's panties in a twist.

While I am flattered by your offer, I must decline (and I am sure I am not the first nor will I be the last to decline such an offer from you). Don't worry, all is forgiven St. Lizardqueen, patron saint of Bitter Self-Righteousness and Meandering Never-ending Posts.

You are so right. Not only am I a really awful and terribly long winded comment writer to a TV blog, in addition to being the Lizardqueen I'm also the bj queen. I have a nasty crack habit. I too am flattered that a superstar such as yourself goes through the trouble to read my drivel and hate it so much that you memorize it. Weaverfan you have followed me all the way to the Survivor section and I just want to thank you for your support. You make me want to enter rehab. Now, in turn, I would like to encourage you to come out of the closet and admit that you are Linda Weaver's mother.
Let's take this back to TAR area. Or do you wanna just step outside?
To everyone else: Sorry I engaged this attention starved ball bag. I've learned my lesson. Back to one big snarky family. I heartwithacirclearounditandalinethroughit Weaverfan.

Who the fuck are the Weavers?

And no, Mormons are not Christians.

The Weavers are these self-righteous people on Amazing Race. They keep telling everyone that they are so religious and then talk about everyone behind their backs, throw trash out the window of their car at them and ask other people to slow the racers behind them down. Then they whine and complain that no one likes them. Uh, yeah... Plus, the two daughters only packed one pair of shorts apiece which are about three sizes too small, so we have to watch them waddle around painfully in these too tight shorts.

Back to Survivor...

yes- back to Survivor. Lizadqueen- you're very fuuny btw, TVGasm should hire YOU!

juddfan- thanks for the props! I would LOVE to be on Survivor. It's my fave show. I play Fantasy Surivior on the CBS website, which is cool as hell. I'm a zookeeper and used to work for the same people that Cindy did, so I'm rooting for her. I don't think that she's a dummy in this game, b/c I read that she's put her life on hold trying to get on Survivor for the past 4 seasons. I think that she's just waiting to make her move. I would not be willing to put my life on hold like that though, so I guess I'll just have to keep watching.

J-Unit- I have a question for you. When the original contest was up on this site before the show started where we picked who we thought would win, there was no option of choosing Bobby Jon or Steph b/c no one knew they were gonna be in it. How's that gonna play out if one of them makes it to the top three?

I made a typo- Lizardqueen. Now I spelled it right.:)

I also know how to spell funny, and Survivor.LOL.

#48, And no, Mormons are not Christians.

Ah yes, they just call it the "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" for shits and giggles then.

Mormons like to portray themselves as christian so it will be easier for them to lure christians to mormonism. Mormons believe god was once a man. Christians do not. Mormons believe in multiple gods. Christians do not. http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/mormon/beliefs/christians/christian2.shtml shows a nice chart comparing the two.

Speaking of Jeff P. porn - he made a cameo appearance on Comedy Central's Drawn Together season premier(if you haven't seen it, it is a cartoon reality show) where the cartoon version of Jeff whipped out a rather giant "imunity idol" from his pants. Hilarious.

Multiple gods??? You make it sound like they're pagan. So they have a slightly different belief in the Trinity, big deal. Besides, a lot of aspects of Christian doctrine were debated by theologians over centuries and only definitely resolved in relatively recent years.

Anyway, I tend to take a more literal view that belief in Christ makes one Christian, regardless of the rest, and regardless of being hypocritical a-holes like the Weaver.

Ew, sorry for all that non-snark.

whoops again, that should be *definitively* resolved, and WeaverS in the plural, naturally.

LizardQueen!!!!!

I have a nasty crack habit. I too am flattered that a superstar such as yourself goes through the trouble to read my drivel and hate it so much that you memorize it.

You Rock!!!! I agree, you could definitely write for tvgasm!!!

And Dana, I'll root with you for Cindy--hopefully she'll hear your clever ideas through the nethers. . . and I don't think you have to go to a 4 year extreme to be on Survivor . . . Cindy must be obsessed!!!! Good Luck if you decide to try--I could never go on Survivor myself . . . though as a diet plan it's unbeatable!!!

Mormons are not Christians is a statement of fact-not a slam on Mormons.

Thanks ladies. I needed that. I'm honing my stand up material. SO tired of being a crack whore-stay at home mom. Know what I mean?

So far Cindy seems pretty one dimensional. My new favorite is Anyone But Jamie.

#58, from what I can tell seems more opinion than fact. Any Mormons in the house? Hm, probably not. In any case, I'm pulling for Rafe. I quite like his deck of leaves and otherwise general haplessness.

Love the deck of leaves. I'm a little worried about the shuffle.

Apparently the deck of leaves is the extent of Rafe's wilderness guiding.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Not again! I hate Gary and his stupid immunity idol. It should have been him!

But you at least have to give him credit for following Judd. I have to say, Judd is so unsubtle--it's almost laughable. I love the look of wide eyed terror when he lies and gets called on it like Jeff did. I thought Jeff could have at least thrown in a red herring and not pointed straight to Judd and Gary.

But I agree, Gary!!!! ugh!!!! Can't we do another Survivor shocker and bring back Amy to knock out a player--I dont
care who else goes. I think we should name Gary skelletor and Danni can be his corpse bride (but really, nothing against Danorexia--she seems genuinely nice and I hope she survives the six--though, the chances for spliting and redoing the numbers are gone--there's only 2 left . . .

let's wait for the new recap juddfan- then we can post in that one. All I know is that I got hella-points in Fantasy Survivor this week!