We begin with a montage of Earl being awesome. There's Earl being awesome and killing the only snake! There's Earl on Earl Island! There's Earl pissed about Mookie's ouster! There's Earl finding the hidden idol!

Probst mentions that Earl won when he didn't even know he was going on the show until about two days before he left. Earl mentions that he hadn't even seen the show since the first season, which earns a jeer from the crowd. Of course, now that he's won, he's a huge fan of the show. Things I could win and still dislike: Parcheesi, a putting your foot in your mouth contest, a "who still watches The Apprentice" competition, the Republican Party Presidential Nomination.

Jeff asks Earl about his bond with Yau-man, which Earl says was formed on Day 1. A wide pan of all of the contestants shows Dreamz, still completely devastated that he did not win. I almost feel bad for him. Almost.

Earl mentions that their agreement lasted until close to the end, at which point it would be "every man for himself". As I said, this is why Earl and Yau-manruled so much; to them, it really was a game, and their friendship existed outside of that. Earl voted Yau-man out, but no hard feelings. Respect to them for that.

Earl tells Jeff that he was shocked when Dreamz decided to keep his necklace (this story has been consistent the entire time, so I am inclined to believe him), and he said that he was already trying to come up with arguments in his head about why he should win instead of Yau-man, so he was frankly relieved not to have to compete against him. He says that when Dreamz went back on his deal, he was immediately like, "Wow, I just won a million dollars!" He is awesome.

Jeff does the little experiment that he enjoys doing in situations like this where he asks how many jurors would have voted for Yau-man if he had been in the finals against Earl. Boo, Mookie, Alex, Stacy, and Rocky raise their hands, so that would be enough to give Yau-man the million dollars. Oh, and Lisi raises her hand at the last second. Her hair, by the way, is phenomenal. She looks like Cousin It, but if Cousin It were a walking mullet.

Jeff starts to harass Dreamz about how he changed three lives: he cost himself a million bucks (lies! He was never going to get it!), he cost Yau-man a million bucks (true), and he gave Earl a million bucks. Earl is like "Thanks!" and shakes Dreamz' hand sarcastically. Way to rub it in, guys! Also, thanks for rubbing it in!

Dreamz will be getting the third degree from Jeff about everything when we return. But first (oh Julie Chen, I will see you soon. Can't wait!), we get a clip package entitled Fiji: The Season of Falls. Gary falls (ouch!), Lisi falls on her face (tasty!), Boo's hammock collapses (shoddy craftsmanship!), Mookie runs smack into the wall during the blindfold challenge (satisfying!) Michelle falls (glad she's okay!).

When we come back, Dreamz is talking about being homeless (Holy crap, he was homeless? Why didn't someone tell me?) and then there are clips from those two or three episodes where he was awesome. Remember when he asked how many white people were participating? When he gave the thumbs-up to the camera and voted out Lisi? When he kicked Rocky's ass during the sumo challenge? Then the "soliloquy" moment in which he totally faced Lisi, which was awesome. Then more crap about what a good person he was. Wow, that was his entire journey! I hated him, then I thought he was cool, then I became ridiculously frustrated with him. All in the span of thirty seconds! It's exactly the same process that I went through with the Taco Bell Chihuahua, the Noid, and Making the Band.

« Hey, Remember Us? | | Does this really need a clever title? »

Posted in Survivor by Schoonie at 1:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)
Last Comment: TinkerbellAPixie on Jun 10, 2007 08:10 AM.

Comments (11)

Mushy :

Schoonie,
I have loved your recaps of this season of Survivor and HOPE to see you way before it begins again in Sept/October - that too long to wait for your wit and sharp eye. You don't miss anything!!

I've been throughly entertained by your take on this season of Suvivor, which started out like crap but ended up brilliantly (congrats Earl! I was always for either your or Yau-man); thank you very much. A well-deserved pat on the back from me :)

1 of 11 | Posted by Mushy | Posted on May 25, 2007 1:38 PM

here4beer :

Woot! Excellent recap, and thanks for posting one of the most important questions in all of reality television: where's Andre?

Thanks so much for stepping up and recapping this season; it started rough but you really came into your very quickly. I will definitely be looking out for you once Survivor: Commie Bastards begins!

2 of 11 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on May 25, 2007 1:41 PM

lexxi1129 :

Please, Please, PLEASE tell me you will recap Big Brother! You are the bestest, Schoonie - and thanks for the pics of Earl - dayum he cleans up good!

3 of 11 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on May 25, 2007 2:56 PM

LonnaSaur :

Schoonie, I know I always write this, but man do your recaps rock! Just one thing though: there was a time you thought the Noid was cool? No Schoonie, no.

4 of 11 | Posted by LonnaSaur | Posted on May 25, 2007 2:58 PM

snackycakes420 :

You rock! I thoroughly enjoyed all of your recaps and found myself giggling out loud. And since I'm a girl I'm allowed to giggle.

5 of 11 | Posted by snackycakes420 | Posted on May 25, 2007 3:38 PM

anonymous :

schoonie you did a really nice job on the recaps. However, I would ask that you hold yourself back from inserting yourself in the comments so much. One response to something really controversial is understandable. But seriously. look at your comments in part II of the finale. Seriously. You already wrote a 10 page recap, must you also write 25 pages of comments?

6 of 11 | Posted by anonymous | Posted on May 27, 2007 9:11 AM

schoonie :

I'd respond to your request and tell you that I was actually clarifying a point to someone through productive conversation and you really shouldn't be worrying about it, but then I would just be adding yet another comment to a long history of them.

Oh, wait...dammit.

7 of 11 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on May 27, 2007 10:26 AM

chooch850 :

Are you gonna recap the Pirate show????

8 of 11 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on May 27, 2007 12:06 PM

slutty_whore :

Schoonie, loved all your recaps and the fact that you jump into the discussion in the comments section. For all the people that complain about B-Side and J-Unit being gone, there is a new crop of talent... Schoonie, Treadingonme, and Flipit. I hope you do recap the Pirate show and Big Brother.... Thanks for a wonderful season and I'll be back for China.

9 of 11 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on May 28, 2007 6:50 AM

coastalcpa :

Great recaps!! This is one of my favorite shows and reading your recaps definitely enhances my experience. This season def. started out badly but ended on a high note. The "vote out Ed" show was the best episode EVER!! Thanks for all of your hard work!!

10 of 11 | Posted by coastalcpa | Posted on May 30, 2007 10:06 AM

TinkerbellAPixie :

I know this is late - but hopefully you're still reading your comments Schoonie. I loved all three parts of your finale coverage.

Interesting fact: Chinese food originated in China

And for those who critisize you for taking part in the comments - IGNORE THEM. The reason I loved TVGasm in the first place all those years ago was because J-Unit and B-Side would come down in the comments and hang out with us simple folk. It makes you fancy famous writers more approachable and it makes us fans way more loyal.

I can't wait to read your BB coverage.

11 of 11 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on June 10, 2007 8:10 AM

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