Now, some people thought it was dumb of Yau-man to make this deal in front of everyone, but I actually think it was pretty smart. If he had done it in private, there would have been nothing to hold him to it, and now he's got to keep his word or risk losing a bunch of jury votes. Also, if he had waited to give him the car until after he had the F4 immunity necklace, he would have risked having Dreamz not take the deal. By immediately offering him a shot at the car, with the bait and temptation and everything sitting there right in front of him, Yau-man maximizes on the recklessness of Dreamz and will have plenty of ammo for later. By giving him the reward before you make him pay, it's like a credit card transaction: payoff before price. Plus, he's got the idol, so if this makes everyone vote for him this time, big whoop. He's money after today anyway. So, in my opinion: well done, Yau. The pros outweigh the cons, big-time. At the commercial break, I was clapping and giving him a standing ovation. That, of course, does not mean I wasn't shitting my pants during Tribal Council.
Yau-man tosses Dreamz the keys, and takes Yau's place on the platform. He will also be going on the reward instead of Yau-man, too, because the reward was for the truck owner. Jeff asks Yau-man who he wants to send to Exile Island, and Yau-man, shockingly, chooses himself. Right here, I pointed at the TV and I was like "Baller!". My thinking was that he wanted the clue for the other idol, and then he could play one at this tribal council, one at the next tribal council, and then have a 50% shot at the one after that. What a masterful move by Yau-man, if that were the case.
Dreamz hops in his truck with Stacy and Boo and starts fiddling with the knobs and stuff before we head to commercials. Don't let him drive! He doesn't have a license!
Now Yau-man is landing at Exile Island and walking up the sand spit. Stock footage of single snake that was actually killed weeks ago. He tells us that he didn't send Cassandra because he was worried about her being by herself (true?) and he thinks Earl has been one too many times. At the time that he said this, I thought he didn't want Earl getting more clues so that he could get the other idol himself, but given what happens later, I think he's doing it to spare Earl another trip because they're friends. He's just being nice. How awesome is that?
Yau-man tells us that he mainly gave Dreamz the car for the F4 benefit so that he can be sure that Dreamz will go home at F4, but it also felt really good to give something to someone else. (Yau-man's Son Who Has Already Had His B In Algebra Insulted By His Father On National Television: "What the hell? I don't have a car! My therapy bill just went up twenty grand, buddy. Enjoy paying for that. You're welcome.") Of course, whatever money Dreamz wins will now go to filling that beast with three hundred gallons of liquefied dinosaur bone every 200 miles, so Yau-man's up any way he looks at it.
Yau climbs the Exile Tower (first month rent free!) to get the third clue, which says something about "pining" for treasure, which he takes to mean that the idol is in a pine tree. There are pine trees in Fiji? I think this season is actually being filmed in Maine and the whole thing is an elaborate ruse. How many interns do you think it takes to keep errant lumberjacks from accidentally wandering into every shot?
Dreamz does some truck pimping as they ride along the road to the school. (Dreamz: "Much like the Grinch, Yau-man's gift has caused my heart to grow three sizes. Also my balls have grown three sizes, because this large vehicle makes me feel like a man. Intercourse and carbon monoxide for everyone!")
It begins to rain as a trailer is hitched to the back of the truck. Such a showcase of towing power. If I ever need to haul a palette of RC Cola away from the Sam's Club, I'm totally buying one of these sons of bitches.
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Comments (23)
How dare you make fun of me. Just because I go on-line after LOST to discuss my scientific theories and anagram solving, doesn't mean you have to make fun of me in your recap. I'm not gonna talk to you anymore....so there!!!1
As for your recap, cudos for getting it up so quick. It was great. Just like this year's Survivor, your recaps, in the beginning, were long and boring. I couldn't get through all 13 pages. But just like Survivor, you picked up momentum and ran with it. You became a really GOOD recapper. I began to look forward to reading them. I look forward to the finale and your final recap.
1 of 23 | Posted by chooch850
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Posted on May 11, 2007 5:26 PM
You hit the nail on the head with how everyone was yelling at their tv for him to use that darn idol b/c I know I sure was!
I was yelling like a crazy woman about to have a heartattack if he didn't use it! rofl...
I just hope he's safe the next few times... come on Yau-man! Don't let me down!
2 of 23 | Posted by Shollia
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Posted on May 11, 2007 5:42 PM
Schoonie, everyone knows an F350 doesn't make your penis larger - it is a HUMMER that gives you a bigger peepee!!!
I feel so bad for Dreamz' spawn. You know that kid is going to school with his shoes on the wrong feet, his pants on backwards, and carrying a can of Cheez Whiz for lunch. Poor thing doesn't stand a chance.
Have I mentioned how happy I am that I have you guys to remind me that I'm not the only dork who screams at her TV? The roommie thought it a bit odd...
3 of 23 | Posted by Pegster
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Posted on May 11, 2007 6:56 PM
When Dreamz asked that kid in the school if he'd ever been to America, I started cracking up. And then he said that he had a lot in common with the kids, and I realized that he really does.
4 of 23 | Posted by Merick
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Posted on May 11, 2007 7:15 PM
Awesome episode, awesome recap!!
Can't wait for Sunday.
5 of 23 | Posted by PuffMatty
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Posted on May 11, 2007 9:00 PM
Chooch, your mom is long and boring!
Kidding, I love you. Thanks for the compliment; I appreciate that you think I've grown as a recapper. If you go back and look at the old recap though, they're just as long as these are! The repaging system made it 13 at one point, but now the one that was 13 is only 8, too. It's like that optical illusion with the big and tiny lines or whatever.
And isn't 8 one of the Lost numbers? And 13 plus one is 14, which is also one of the Lost numbers! Someone call Carlton Cuse! I'm an Other!
6 of 23 | Posted by schoonie
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Posted on May 11, 2007 11:23 PM
I was yelling at my tv too...for Yau NOT to use the idol. HATE.
7 of 23 | Posted by insertnamehere
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Posted on May 12, 2007 12:10 AM
Schoonie,
Hats off to another great re-cap! Yau-Man,Earl > Casandra,Dreamz,Stacy . Boo is an idiot.
8 of 23 | Posted by Rusty_nail
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Posted on May 12, 2007 3:01 AM
ewwww
I hate yau man! He is so gross and annying, hes like a little hobet or something. Can't stand him. And if he hadnt used the idol hed be gone. Damn
9 of 23 | Posted by MyNamesTucker
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Posted on May 12, 2007 5:39 AM
Schoonie,
I was so sad when B-side left and I crawled away from TVGasm for a while until my heart could heal. Your recaps are what has drawn me back into the fold. This recap had me HOWLING! You are a true TV connoiseur what with the references to The Amazing Race and Lost. Your screenshot captions are just as funny as the recaps (which ain't always the case). And I am happy that someone who loves and respects Survivor is recapping it as well. This season of Survivor has rocked in a lot of ways and for me one of the rockingest parts is reading your recap each week. (I actually love that they are so long because it means you can pack in all that extra funny!)
So thank you for the many, many laughs over the past several months, Schoonie. You are as good if not better than the legendary B-side. So much so that I am going to stop comparing you to him from now on.
Bravo!!!
10 of 23 | Posted by subgenre
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Posted on May 12, 2007 5:49 AM
I'd like to add that I'm also firmly on the Schoonie bandwagon (even though he likes Yau :P). You seem to be a bigger fan of this show than anyone I've ever met, and that makes your recaps that much better. KUDOS
11 of 23 | Posted by insertnamehere
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Posted on May 12, 2007 11:21 AM
OMG, Schoonie, best recap ever. You always make me laugh and this time I was laughing out loud. Heart!
12 of 23 | Posted by LonnaSaur
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Posted on May 12, 2007 6:41 PM
I was torn about Yau using the idol. Now I'm just worried about Cassandra. Schoonie, I loved the pic of the jury: I never noticed that Rocky has the same wanky eye as Paris Hilton.
Sunday will be awesom!
13 of 23 | Posted by geewits
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Posted on May 13, 2007 1:38 AM
"A nation, from the couch: 'PLAY IT! PLAY IT! GOD, PLAY IT!'"
I thought I heard an echo!
14 of 23 | Posted by mareneli
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Posted on May 13, 2007 6:33 AM
I have a question. When Yau-man gave the car to Dreamz, did he also pass on the Survivor Car Curse? Hmm. I guess we'll find out soon enough.
15 of 23 | Posted by joyfulchicken
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Posted on May 13, 2007 10:37 AM
Joyful Chicken -- I totally wondered about the dreaded car curse as well...I am totally for Yau to go all the way. He's always a step ahead of the rest and he just plain rocks!
Bravo Schoonie, bravo on the recap - love the references to Mirna & Schmirna. You are a freaking riot and I can NOT wait for the finale recap.
16 of 23 | Posted by tvjunkie
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Posted on May 13, 2007 6:08 PM
Hey Schoonie!
Great title! But now I can`t seem to stop sing that damn song!
17 of 23 | Posted by hardlyworking
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Posted on May 14, 2007 6:29 AM
Schoonie,
PLEASE, pretty please...for all that is good and righteous in the world...you MUST do the Amazing Race recap next season. Awesomeness was not so awesome, and TAR deserves to be recapped by someone whose words are like the sweet nectar of the Gods. Anyone agree!? ANYONE!?!?!?
18 of 23 | Posted by TheStink1325
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Posted on May 14, 2007 9:14 AM
Schoonie, Please do the "Heroes" recap!!! Pretty, Pretty Please!!!!???!!! I LOVE your "Survivor" recaps, and the new guy doing "Heroes" just does not get it. PLEASE?.... [with cherries on top?]
19 of 23 | Posted by goldeeloxx
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Posted on May 14, 2007 11:30 AM
Ha! I would not ever recap Heroes, because my recaps would say only this: "Shut up, Mohinder."
20 of 23 | Posted by schoonie
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Posted on May 14, 2007 12:03 PM
Definitely one of the greatest seasons for me. I can't honestly say it is the BEST, but since I've started watching Survivor, Fiji is one of only FOUR entire competitions that I've actually watched the full season (Australia/Pearl Islands/All-Stars being the other three). I almost stopped watching before said mark of masterpiece made itself known, but I'm glad I didn't.
I'd have loved to have read this before today so I could speculate, but as it is, I couldn't and I've already watched the finale. Can't wait for the recap of that. :)
21 of 23 | Posted by jennae
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Posted on May 14, 2007 12:05 PM
You're right. That picture of the jury makes Michelle look like a fairy tale character who charms the animals of the forest with her beauty and pure heart, so that they become her protectors, only instead of lions and grizzly bears, it's bitches and asswipes.
22 of 23 | Posted by cm65
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Posted on May 14, 2007 2:18 PM
Great job! I too was worried I had woke up my children while yelling at Yau to play that damn idol. I'm glad Earl won! Sorry, i'm a little late in my posting and reading!
23 of 23 | Posted by elewallen
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Posted on May 17, 2007 4:21 PM