The truck pulls up to the school, and you can see that Boo is driving. Good! I was worried, because nothing says educational philanthropy like letting a man with a one track mind and a nickname pluralized with a "z" drive near your children without a license. Boo honks the horn, and the kids start pouring out the door towards the truck. There is a literal swarm of children, it looks like kids will never stop pouring from the door. And then, all of a sudden, Probst runs out, wearing the exact same color as the uniform on the kids, and looking just as excited. Dude, I hate to break it to you, but Julie is not hiding in the box. Also, "educational supplies" does not mean "self-tanner".
Dreamz waves at the kids, and they all high-five Stacy and totally leave Boo hanging. Probst, Boo, Stacy and Dreamz all climb into the bed of the truck, open the box, and start chucking stuff out at the kids, who are acting like it's Mardi Gras or there is a foul ball or something. The kids do look pretty excited to be getting all the stuff, though. But no books! Maybe there was concern about throwing books? (Mirna, during the Army episode: "Books are very important! They help you out a lot in life!" Me, to my TV while watching the Army episode: "Thanks for that! I will make a note.")
Probst calls the teachers over, because they have something for them as well. Boo tells us that when they opened the trailer, there was a mobile office inside. It had a computer, a copy machine (they edit out the part where Boo is like, "that I did NOT photocopy my ass on"), everything they need. And, I kid you not, he says "They have the best school around now!" and he sounds EXACTLY like Forrest Gump. I don't remember, did Forrest Gump's family eat well?
The Survivors go to the school cafeteria to enjoy some lunch with the kids. Boo chomps down on a pepper of some sort, eyes wide as hell and looking for all the world like a giant ten-year-old. Stacy: "Boo, you really fit in over there." Nicely done, editors! A kid asks Dreamz his name, and after he says it, even the kid looks at him like, "That's dumb."
All three of them are pretty good with the kids, though, especially Dreamz. He talks about how lucky he is to have the car, and how he started wondering about Yau-man and what he had to gain by getting immunity at final four. Um, a pretty damn good shot at a million dollars, maybe? Dreamz figures that his best bet would be to get rid of Yau-man before the final four, so that he wouldn't even be breaking his deal and he can keep his immunity (if he wins it). For those of you keeping score at home, this would be the last idea that Alex gave him. Sure, he processed it, but he didn't come up with it on his own. My theory stands. Scary! Then, he bites into a peanut butter sandwich like a supervillain as evil music plays us into commercial. I didn't even know that eating a peanut butter sandwich could be construed as a nefarious act, but here we are. Yet another thing that is evil about which I had no knowledge. The peanut butter sandwich is The Yield of sandwiches.
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Comments (23)
How dare you make fun of me. Just because I go on-line after LOST to discuss my scientific theories and anagram solving, doesn't mean you have to make fun of me in your recap. I'm not gonna talk to you anymore....so there!!!1
As for your recap, cudos for getting it up so quick. It was great. Just like this year's Survivor, your recaps, in the beginning, were long and boring. I couldn't get through all 13 pages. But just like Survivor, you picked up momentum and ran with it. You became a really GOOD recapper. I began to look forward to reading them. I look forward to the finale and your final recap.
1 of 23 | Posted by chooch850
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Posted on May 11, 2007 5:26 PM
You hit the nail on the head with how everyone was yelling at their tv for him to use that darn idol b/c I know I sure was!
I was yelling like a crazy woman about to have a heartattack if he didn't use it! rofl...
I just hope he's safe the next few times... come on Yau-man! Don't let me down!
2 of 23 | Posted by Shollia
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Posted on May 11, 2007 5:42 PM
Schoonie, everyone knows an F350 doesn't make your penis larger - it is a HUMMER that gives you a bigger peepee!!!
I feel so bad for Dreamz' spawn. You know that kid is going to school with his shoes on the wrong feet, his pants on backwards, and carrying a can of Cheez Whiz for lunch. Poor thing doesn't stand a chance.
Have I mentioned how happy I am that I have you guys to remind me that I'm not the only dork who screams at her TV? The roommie thought it a bit odd...
3 of 23 | Posted by Pegster
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Posted on May 11, 2007 6:56 PM
When Dreamz asked that kid in the school if he'd ever been to America, I started cracking up. And then he said that he had a lot in common with the kids, and I realized that he really does.
4 of 23 | Posted by Merick
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Posted on May 11, 2007 7:15 PM
Awesome episode, awesome recap!!
Can't wait for Sunday.
5 of 23 | Posted by PuffMatty
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Posted on May 11, 2007 9:00 PM
Chooch, your mom is long and boring!
Kidding, I love you. Thanks for the compliment; I appreciate that you think I've grown as a recapper. If you go back and look at the old recap though, they're just as long as these are! The repaging system made it 13 at one point, but now the one that was 13 is only 8, too. It's like that optical illusion with the big and tiny lines or whatever.
And isn't 8 one of the Lost numbers? And 13 plus one is 14, which is also one of the Lost numbers! Someone call Carlton Cuse! I'm an Other!
6 of 23 | Posted by schoonie
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Posted on May 11, 2007 11:23 PM
I was yelling at my tv too...for Yau NOT to use the idol. HATE.
7 of 23 | Posted by insertnamehere
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Posted on May 12, 2007 12:10 AM
Schoonie,
Hats off to another great re-cap! Yau-Man,Earl > Casandra,Dreamz,Stacy . Boo is an idiot.
8 of 23 | Posted by Rusty_nail
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Posted on May 12, 2007 3:01 AM
ewwww
I hate yau man! He is so gross and annying, hes like a little hobet or something. Can't stand him. And if he hadnt used the idol hed be gone. Damn
9 of 23 | Posted by MyNamesTucker
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Posted on May 12, 2007 5:39 AM
Schoonie,
I was so sad when B-side left and I crawled away from TVGasm for a while until my heart could heal. Your recaps are what has drawn me back into the fold. This recap had me HOWLING! You are a true TV connoiseur what with the references to The Amazing Race and Lost. Your screenshot captions are just as funny as the recaps (which ain't always the case). And I am happy that someone who loves and respects Survivor is recapping it as well. This season of Survivor has rocked in a lot of ways and for me one of the rockingest parts is reading your recap each week. (I actually love that they are so long because it means you can pack in all that extra funny!)
So thank you for the many, many laughs over the past several months, Schoonie. You are as good if not better than the legendary B-side. So much so that I am going to stop comparing you to him from now on.
Bravo!!!
10 of 23 | Posted by subgenre
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Posted on May 12, 2007 5:49 AM
I'd like to add that I'm also firmly on the Schoonie bandwagon (even though he likes Yau :P). You seem to be a bigger fan of this show than anyone I've ever met, and that makes your recaps that much better. KUDOS
11 of 23 | Posted by insertnamehere
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Posted on May 12, 2007 11:21 AM
OMG, Schoonie, best recap ever. You always make me laugh and this time I was laughing out loud. Heart!
12 of 23 | Posted by LonnaSaur
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Posted on May 12, 2007 6:41 PM
I was torn about Yau using the idol. Now I'm just worried about Cassandra. Schoonie, I loved the pic of the jury: I never noticed that Rocky has the same wanky eye as Paris Hilton.
Sunday will be awesom!
13 of 23 | Posted by geewits
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Posted on May 13, 2007 1:38 AM
"A nation, from the couch: 'PLAY IT! PLAY IT! GOD, PLAY IT!'"
I thought I heard an echo!
14 of 23 | Posted by mareneli
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Posted on May 13, 2007 6:33 AM
I have a question. When Yau-man gave the car to Dreamz, did he also pass on the Survivor Car Curse? Hmm. I guess we'll find out soon enough.
15 of 23 | Posted by joyfulchicken
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Posted on May 13, 2007 10:37 AM
Joyful Chicken -- I totally wondered about the dreaded car curse as well...I am totally for Yau to go all the way. He's always a step ahead of the rest and he just plain rocks!
Bravo Schoonie, bravo on the recap - love the references to Mirna & Schmirna. You are a freaking riot and I can NOT wait for the finale recap.
16 of 23 | Posted by tvjunkie
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Posted on May 13, 2007 6:08 PM
Hey Schoonie!
Great title! But now I can`t seem to stop sing that damn song!
17 of 23 | Posted by hardlyworking
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Posted on May 14, 2007 6:29 AM
Schoonie,
PLEASE, pretty please...for all that is good and righteous in the world...you MUST do the Amazing Race recap next season. Awesomeness was not so awesome, and TAR deserves to be recapped by someone whose words are like the sweet nectar of the Gods. Anyone agree!? ANYONE!?!?!?
18 of 23 | Posted by TheStink1325
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Posted on May 14, 2007 9:14 AM
Schoonie, Please do the "Heroes" recap!!! Pretty, Pretty Please!!!!???!!! I LOVE your "Survivor" recaps, and the new guy doing "Heroes" just does not get it. PLEASE?.... [with cherries on top?]
19 of 23 | Posted by goldeeloxx
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Posted on May 14, 2007 11:30 AM
Ha! I would not ever recap Heroes, because my recaps would say only this: "Shut up, Mohinder."
20 of 23 | Posted by schoonie
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Posted on May 14, 2007 12:03 PM
Definitely one of the greatest seasons for me. I can't honestly say it is the BEST, but since I've started watching Survivor, Fiji is one of only FOUR entire competitions that I've actually watched the full season (Australia/Pearl Islands/All-Stars being the other three). I almost stopped watching before said mark of masterpiece made itself known, but I'm glad I didn't.
I'd have loved to have read this before today so I could speculate, but as it is, I couldn't and I've already watched the finale. Can't wait for the recap of that. :)
21 of 23 | Posted by jennae
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Posted on May 14, 2007 12:05 PM
You're right. That picture of the jury makes Michelle look like a fairy tale character who charms the animals of the forest with her beauty and pure heart, so that they become her protectors, only instead of lions and grizzly bears, it's bitches and asswipes.
22 of 23 | Posted by cm65
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Posted on May 14, 2007 2:18 PM
Great job! I too was worried I had woke up my children while yelling at Yau to play that damn idol. I'm glad Earl won! Sorry, i'm a little late in my posting and reading!
23 of 23 | Posted by elewallen
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Posted on May 17, 2007 4:21 PM