Getting In The Box Can Be So Hard

ulongboxWell, I've been tardy again. For some reason, I never am able to get these Survivor recaps out in a timely fashion. Thankfully, this season has been fairly predictable: Ulong starts off sad, gets their hopes up, loses immunity, and sends someone home. So even if my recaps are a bit late, chances are you can figure out what happened without having read or seen anything. The good news is that while this season's certainly been lacking in the scheming department, the characters have been colorful and Jeff Probst has been particularly ornery. That's got to count for something.

This week's episode began with what else? A crab scampering in the dark. What pray tell was this busy little crustacean up to? By the looks of it, he seemed to be transporting a rock, a symbolic action that represented the ever toiling Ulong Tribe as it returned to camp dejected and weary. In the previous episode, Ulong had to sit through three different votes: one to grant immunity (that went to Ibrehem, or "Ib"), one to kick of a tribe member (that was a draw), and one to serve as a tiebreaker (bye, Angie!).

"That may have been the craziest Tribal Council I've ever been to," said Ibrehem, adding "I actually had to speak! What's up with that? Shit, I've already said too much for today." Ibrehem then pursed his lips and refused to answer any more of the producers' questions.

With the Ulong tribe down to four people, it was time to adopt a new strategy. Luckily, Stephenie had a plan. "Not only do we need to have great listening skills," she started, before being rudely interrupted.

"Yeah, everybody needs to listen," interjected James, clearly not listening to Stephenie.

But she battled on, trying to make her point heard: "I mean—"

"Keep your ears open and listen to your teammate!" advised James. Okay, this whole "listening" thing is probably not going to work out. The key is when you want to "hear" what your teammate has to say, you've got to actually "shut up" for a second and let her "finish" her sentence.

By now though we should know that James, while colorful, is also sort of an idiot. Plus his nose has become more triangular with each passing episode. Anyway, he immediately bashed Ibrehem, telling the gentle giant that he was supposed to go, not Angie. Luckily, Bobby Jon had Ib's back. "We didn't win the beef stew. Whatever," he moaned, noting that the game was more than some crappy bowl of chum. Bobby then caught a minnow with his giant fishing spear and then sighed, "Yeah, that beef stew probably would have been nice."

The next morning, we were treated to a random montage of Ibrehem praying. A closeup of a tattoo revealed that he was Muslim, but interestingly enough, CBS was sure to not actually spell it out, lest Middle America revolt and switch over to Joey. Yes, there's no telling how all the Toby Keith fans would react when discovering that the most soft-spoken cast member of the season believes in Islam. I mean, that's crazy talk! What are they trying to do? Debunk stereotypes???

Nevertheless, we'd already spent too much time with the losers at Ulong. It was time to move on to Koror, but we had a feeling all was not well on Home Depot beach. A wayward bird snatching a fish from the surf suggested that maybe, just maybe, it was time for Koror to crumble. Or at least go fishing. Drama at the tribe, however, was mild to indiscernible. However, there were some grumblings about Katie, as usual. While everyone was out gathering wood, fetching water, or helping the camp in general, our resident whiner sat by the picnic table and made necklaces. "Today was craft day," announced Coby in an interview, quickly revising his statement to only apply to Katie. Ah yes, could this finally be judgment day for Katie?

While there may not have been a lot of drama at Koror, there at least was some comedy. Puppet comedy, to be specific. Coby, fresh from bashing his lazy teammate, allied with Katie to put on a sock puppet show which probably wouldn't have amused anyone normally, but hey, when you're stuck without a TV, anything will suffice. Amazingly, Katie pulled of a funny as she screetched, "I'm Bobby Jon. I love everyone. I look like Jesus Christ." Okay, that was pretty good. Katie gets ten seconds of appreciation. [pause] Okay, now we can hate her again.

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Comments (26)

GNARKILL:

Anyone see the ripped up jeans James wore to his "Early Show" interview? They were fucking haggard! This guy is more of a redneck than Chris and Twila combined, Twila still has the bigger cock though.

moonman:

James is crazy. He is moving to LA with his family. He was funny on "Suvivor Live" even when a lady called in and bitched at him. How were the members of Ulong not piss-ass drunk after the boat ride? I mean, these people have not really had anything to eat in a while except a can of pringles, and they are drinking large drinks. The jellyfish were cool, but I wish just one had still been able to sting one of the Survivors.

yourmom:

Katie is such a stupid, lazy extra mouth to feed. I wish Koror would lose once just so they could kick that bitch off.

Betsy:

I thought Stephanie had been playing a smart game up unitl this episode. Why the heck waste her vote on James? She knew it would end up in a tie. She knew she would have to switch her vote and James would go. So now she's on a tribe with Bobby Jon and now Bobby Jon knows he can't trust her. That was just stupid on her part.

The same day as this episode Animal Planet had a segment on Jelly Fish Lake in Palau. Maybe Mark Burnett controls the universe.

jack:

amen re: burnett's decision not to merge the floundering ulong into koror, b-side--not only does it allow for that slight bit of extra suspense, but it also will likely increase the tension of the endgame. it may be the case that the folks on koror are basically mature and decent and capable of recognizing that, when you're playing a no-holds-barred game for a million bucks, you can't take things personally. but no tribe in survivor has cohered so well before, and they've yet to really feel the tension of constant scheming or the pressure of tribal council. sure, they had to boot willard, but he more or less offered himself up, and no one stayed sad for too long, since they had a cauldron of beef stew and the humiliation of ulong to look forward to.

greg and coby have started looking down the road a little, but tom and ian aren't idiots--ian is an eagle scout, which means that he spent at least one night a week and half the weekends of his childhood competing in the same kinds of games mark burnett stole from his days in the british paratroopers to invent survivor. and given their all-around superior competence, ian and tom will be favorites for individual immunity challenges. these guys have to be aware that they are the primary targets, and so are not likely going to wait to be blindsided.

part of the fun of this season has been watching a team of pretty cool people just wipe the floor with a team of so-so lame-asses (exceptions for steph-diesel and bobby-jesus). but the real fun is going to be watching the inevitable implosion of koror, which could be even uglier than normal since they've not really had to adapt to the throat-slitting aspect of the game. prediction: beware the bitchy queen. coby's been underestimated thus far, and, whether he knows it or not, he's got greg by the balls. he could bring janu to go with greg and jen against batman and robin, OR he could out greg and jen to the ambiguously gay duo and their fag-hag katie as traitors, make them the prime target, and then flip back against tom and ian by bringing along karen, the surviving ulongs, and/or katie(!) who may just get carried to the final 4 since she's the easiest person left to beat.

SusieQ:

I really think that Stephanie is going to be the last Ulong left, and without a merge she'll be alone at her camp. I truly think that Ulong will lose again and Ibrehem will be gone, and in a battle between Bobby Jon and Steph, I think she has a better chance. It will be interesting to see what happens if I'm right, because with so few people left for Ulong, the challenges are getting ridiculous--Koror is sitting almost everyone each time.

TexasK:

I'm thinking that exchange between Janu and Tom -- where Tom basically pandered to her by saying something like, "I think you'll be on the jury deciding who wins, or maybe we'll be on the jury deciding if you get the money" -- was somehow significant. Burnett & Co. don't usually just include clips like that unless they foreshadow something.

On a completely separate note, it wasn't until this episode that I felt certain that Betty -- err, I mean James -- had developed a bit of a crush on Stephenie. He answered one of Probst's questions by saying he would vote based on this or that and who he had "personal feelings" for. And I don't think he was talking about his "personal feelings" for Bobby Jon, wink wink nudge nudge.

Too bad Steph and BJ will ultimately be going home -- perhaps it's their underdog status at this point, but I'd really like to see them go further in this game. Them anyday over the likes of Katie and Caryn.

boh:

Why don't they do a 'corporate reshuffle' a la Trump and move 3 members of Koror to Ulong. That would even the teams up and create more suspense for the immunities / votes. It would also force some people to create new alliances, and give stephanie, BJ, and Ibrehim a better chance of making it to the end. Honestly, I like those three better than most Koror members (I mean Janu?? Caryn?? Come on with these pukes!)

Also, why did Stephanie vote for ibrehim after telling BJ that she would vote for james - when she KNEW it would create a tie. What kind of stupid strategy is that? He now knows that she betrayed him. If she was going to change her vote anyway, why do that? She's screwed herself - its now BJ and Ib vs. Her instead of BJ and Her vs. Ib.

jack:

boh: i also wondered what persuaded steph to change her vote at the last minute. she seems too smart to lose bobby john's trust over james, especially since the only possible outcome was a tie. all i can figure is that steph wanted to let james down easy by pretending that she had no choice but to vote him off to break the tie, but it's sort of a meaningless gesture, since james isn't on the jury. maybe, however, she told bobby john about this plan ahead of time to preserve the partnership. either way, i don't see bobby john siding with ib against steph, who has been dominant in challenges and who should likely be koror's first target after the merge.

Rick D:

My guess is that she and BJ had talked about the votes and he knew that she was voting for Ib the first time around, he didn't look surprised at all when it was a tie. Now James on the other hand couldn't believe that it was tied, and did you see the look on his face after the second vote? He obviously thought it was going to be a tie again after his name was read on the first vote. I wonder how long it'll take him to figure out that Steph actually voted for Ib, and BJ voted for him. Do you think he even realizes it after watching the show? He probably still thinks BJ voted to keep him and somehow that vote changed in the box.

Rick D.

Krandy2002:

What happens when Ulong gets down to just 2 (presumably Steph and BJ)? Do we get to see a battle to the death? Will they have to hunt each other down in the jungle, armed only with a fish spear?

ash:

"Gotta love the "us vs. them" mentality. It's really so helpful in keeping this world full of the idiotic dipshits we so love."


Is that the same mentality that imagined James had a confederate flag in this episode??? I surely didn't see one.

Victoria:

Since they didn't actually show us who voted for who the first time around, has it occurred to anyone that maybe Bobby Jon voted for Ib the first time to test Steph's loyalty? Steph should acquaint herself with a little saying that goes "Me thinks thou doth protest too much." That was her-"Oh no I definitely voted for Angie; It was her time to go; I swear to God I voted for her." Since that is technically half true-maybe she isn't going to hell. But Bobby Jon says "I believe you." And she keeps going on about it. Also, did anyone notice that after Bobby Jon's handwriting comment, Steph changed her writing. Last week, Angie and Steph had the so-called masculine handwriting and James and Bobby Jon had the feminine handwriting. If they had just voted off James instead of Angie, maybe they'd still be in this thing. Why Bobby Jon was even considered last week over James is beyond me.

Victoria:

Since they didn't actually show us who voted for who the first time around, has it occurred to anyone that maybe Bobby Jon voted for Ib the first time to test Steph's loyalty? Steph should acquaint herself with a little saying that goes "Me thinks thou doth protest too much." That was her-"Oh no I definitely voted for Angie; It was her time to go; I swear to God I voted for her." Since that is technically half true-maybe she isn't going to hell. But Bobby Jon says "I believe you." And she keeps going on about it. Also, did anyone notice that after Bobby Jon's handwriting comment, Steph changed her writing. Last week, Angie and Steph had the so-called masculine handwriting and James and Bobby Jon had the feminine handwriting. If they had just voted off James instead of Angie, maybe they'd still be in this thing. Why Bobby Jon was even considered last week over James is beyond me.

Rainy:

I am only watching this installment of Survivor until Stephenie is eliminated. She is the only reason to watch Pulau. What an ass-kicking uber-babe. I love a hot chick that can and will kick ass on a whim. She puts all the rest of her teammates to shame, SHAME!(not that James didn't already shame himself with the sheet-dress he's been sporting). Maaaan, I just hope she makes it to the final- what a stone cold fox--- meow!

smithie:

I feel like I am the only one who watched the show. When Steph went to BJ and they had their discussion about who they were going to vote for in the end Stepf said okay, I'll vote for Ib and you vote for James. Steph was smart to do this. Even though Hillbilly Harry isn't going to be on the traditional jury, you never know when kicked off players are coming back. Seriously, am I the only onw who caught this conversation?

SusieQ:

Smithie, I also think Steph and Bobby Jon knew what they were doing.

I don't foresee anyone from Ulong making it much longer, but I definitely see Steph making it the longest of Ulong (although BJ has a chance to beat her if they have to go head-to-head somehow.) They got stuck with a loser tribe and didn't impose some decisionmaking and leadership quick enough to save the tribe, but they aren't total idiots. I would like to see Steph and BJ swap with Janu, Caryn, or Katie to put all the better players together, since this thing is so lopsided anyway. But I have a feeling we will be seeing a survivor first--a 1-man or 1-woman tribe.

00spark00:

FYI- "see" = "sea"

00spark00:

LOVE THIS!!!!

"If you can't trust 'em, you shouldn't be in a tribe with 'em. You can't have a tribe if you don't trust people," he said, adding "Tribes of trust are for people who trust tribes, and if you can't trust people in tribes, then tribes are trusts and not trust for people. Tribes tribes tribes trust people tribes trust."

GENIUS!

snarko:

Don't forget the two freaks that left on the first show, they're definitely coming back in some capacity. Maybe they'll be a restructuring and beloved Stephanie can stick around.

TexasK:

Here's a possible scenario that could keep Steph and BJ in the game (or any combination of one of those two and Ibrehem, I guess):

The two remaining Ulong merge with Koror. Greg and Jen decide to stick with Tom, Ian and Katie. This pisses Coby off so he pulls the Ulongers over with him, Janu and Caryn and those five go head to head with Tom and gang. Long shot, I realize, but it could happen.

Genevieve:

Thank God the redneck is gone. He was driving me nuts. Besides being annoying and sexist, he had the biggest nostrils I'd ever seen.

I still miss Angie!

John:

""Gotta love the "us vs. them" mentality. It's really so helpful in keeping this world full of the idiotic dipshits we so love."

Is that the same mentality that imagined James had a confederate flag in this episode??? I surely didn't see one."

Great point...

Ron:

has ANYONE seen SURVIVOR PRINGLES in ANY store or chain store?

Pittsburgher:

I hiked the chilkoot trail in Alaska with Ian back in 2002. He is going to get far because people believe the bullcrap attitude he puts on... He will suck up till the end.... and people will love him so much that he will get the win.

TinkerbellAPixie:

I have Ron. We have those and the Incredibles Pringles too. Oh and we had the trivial pursuit ones when the novetly pringles first came out.

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