Hey, Schnoonie. His name really is Mookie. If you go on the website and play the Lie Detector game, when it gets to Mookie, (SPOILER: THE TRUE ANSWER IS "HIS REAL NAME IS MOOKIE"). Oh, and thanks for mistaking me for Lisi on the forums in that American Idol thread. I laughed so hard.

I'm so bummed you cancelled the Make Stacy Feel Like Crap Day party. :(

Great to see Earl go back into arrogant mode in his confessionals.

Is Mookie the biggest loser in Survivor history? The guy NEVER won anything (individual/team), it's amazing.

Great call on the strategy blunder by Alex and Mookie, I think you should apply for Survivor! Just don't choke once you're on the island.

Yes, the gratuitous Stacy Showering footage was sort of hot... until the camera turned to Earl pulling dirt out of his armpit. I threw up.

I think another reason Yau-Man had to act cool about other people going through his things is that he totally did the same thing when he looked in Sylvia's bag while pretending to hug her.

Dreamz has become completely inexplicable to me and what makes it worse is the smile he has on his face while he talks; it gives the impression that he really HAS thought through what he's saying and deems it worthy to be spoken.

Good call on the Scarface, Zoolander and Anchorman references. May I also add another way to spot these tools besides Facebook, Myspace, etc: anyone wearing a shirt quoting one of these films. You know, those "ironi-tees" from Urban Outfitters that say "I love lamp" on them.

HIlarious recap!
I thought this episode was just hilarious the way Alex and Mookie kept saying they were gonna bring it during tribal and not hold back and blahblahblah... And what happened at tribal? Some BS prerehearsed speech and nothing else.. OOOOO they SOOO brought it.. I'm sure the other contestants were shaking in their dirty boots....

Great recap! I particularly loved your caption:
I don't know why he's sad- a C is the best grade he's ever received.
That was funny. I was impressed with your thought about how those two boneheads could have worked Stacy, Boo and Dreamz. I guess I'm a bonehead, too. We were so shocked when Alex voted for Mookie, but it either showed he is very smart OR someone leaked information to him. Hmmmm, so it was Cassandra's idea to split the vote? Did she tell him?

Schoonie, have you got a blog anywhere else? You're hilarious.

"'It's all about the placement of the balls.' Truer words have never been spoken. My grandma is cross-stitching a commemorative wall-hanging for me as we speak. Also, I am twelve."

"Alex tells Earl that he's happy with the way he's played the game so far. Oh, to be happy with complete obsolescence and poor decision-making. You think he's Republican?"

Schoonie, you're a goddamn genius. You raise your game every week. I hope you'll be part of the BB8 recapping team this summer.

CamSavWin(#8), I also was suspicious that someone told Alex the split the vote plan, and I'm thinking it was Dreamz, who doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut and wants everyone to like him. Alex was definitely not smart enough to figure that one out on his own.

I don't think anyone told Alex, honestly. It's a common enough move to vote for the other person when your alliance is at the end of it's rope and about to die. Sandra did it a bunch towards the end of Pearl Islands, and Chris from Vanuatu voted for Sarge when he was voted out. It's easy enough to see which way the wind is blowing and hope your vote keeps your ass out of trouble.

I heart you, Schoonie. You are fantastic. And I have the same wish as jasonr that you will be recapping BB8. I will be lost without you when Survivor is over.

I think Yau looking over Sylvia's shoulder and into her bag is not quite the same thing as someone physically reaching their hand in, moving stuff around and pulling stuff out. Just saying.

Schoonie, you're the best. Foreign policy in the 21st century. I laughed so hard I cried. And then I just cried. So true.

Lonna, invasion of space = invasion of space. Yau, however, used it to his advantage, whereas Sylvia had no social skills whatsoever.

It's not really about particulars re: invasion of privacy in Survivor. It's all fair.

Predictably, this ep. was a bit of a let-down, but between Cassandra and Stacy eavesdropping on Alex and Mookie (what kind of a Harvard Law grad wanders around congratulating himself about his brilliant double-secret plans loudly enough to be heard from fifty feet away?) and the sound of Boo's knee popping back into alignment (he may be dumb, but that dude is diesel), it certainly beat the shit out of American Idol's ridiculous 'surprise.'

I don't care much for Alex, but I thought you were a little tough on him, Schoonie. His abject hypocrisy was totally calculated--just a lame but not entirely stupid effort to sucker one or two people into waffling on their votes. Similarly: turning on Mookie was a smart, dispassionate move, and it worked. Alex knew it was going to be one of them and no one else was going to flop. He also knew he was the preferred victim due to his conversation with Earl, in which we learned that Mookie was perceived as having 'checked out' and wanted to be voted out. I doubt when Alex gets out that he'll whine about the others' game ethics or deny that he was as sneaky as he had to be--he'll just say 'I used what options were available to me, including pretending to be a victim.'

Unfortunately for Alex, he is just not sympathetic enough for anyone to trust. He is dangerous, but I really don't think the strategy will change--Alex is next unless he wins individual immunity or finds the second idol. Stacy should consider herself safe, since she is the most disliked person left in the game and would make a great final 2 partner. Boo is now playing the 'anyone but me' strategy, and won't go against the majority, lest he be the next to go. Dreamz would be my pick to go, but there's an advantage in keeping him around: he can't keep a secret, and, at this point, Cassandra appears to have him on a string. Everyone knows that Earl and Yau are tight and both extremely shrewd--why risk screwing up an attempt to double-cross a strong ally when you've still got a lame-duck enemy around to get rid of?

Lastly, Alex needs to go because is Michelle is probably the only person on the jury who might not vote for him to win, and if he were to manage to get to the finals from the position he's currently in, even I might vote for him.

Frankly, the whole eavesdropping scene looked a bit staged to me. Lisi has said in her interviews that she knew she was going the night she was voted off and that the last-minute change of heart we were shown in the lead-up to tribal council was just her play-acting to fulfill her obligation to help make good TV (yeah, I know, that's coming from the same woman who was shown saying 'ya have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool me' five minutes after she'd been shown getting fooled while sleeping in the middle of the day, but since she was clearly ready to go get loaded and pass out on the bar at the Loser Lodge, I tend to believe her this once). I wouldn't be surprised if Cassandra and Stacy had been sent to that particular spot (why were they sitting in the bushes to begin with?) and then Alex and Mookie were brought in and instructed to talk about their super-secret plans on-camera.

Poor Mookie. He may very well be the worst loser in Survivor history. This was really his undoing: Mookie seemed like a smart enough guy, but he was just too competitive to see past the humiliation and frustration of losing challenges to create a winning strategy. Again and again, Mookie led the charge to get rid of anyone he perceived as weak or non-competitive, when he should have been focusing on building a strong alliance with people who might be dependent on him. Rita, Anthony, Sylvia--all three could have been in his pocket. Instead, he focused on surrounding himself with muscle, and ended up having no one better to turn to for an alliance than Dreamz, who betrayed him without hesitation.

I don't think it was necessarily strategy on his part: his main psychological goal is clearly to let everyone else know how much more masculine and intelligent he is than them. That's why he compared himself to a lion; he's down about getting beat by a bunch of women and Yau-man, whom he said in confessional couldn't be trusted. His actions are all about himself, not the game. He wants to look smart and manly more than anything else, and quite frankly, I think it's pathetic. That's why I was hard on him; I think he actually meant it, and also he meant for it to be condescending. Can't stand it.

ok, the face that stacy made at the camera after the comment "they will be lucky to get food" or whatever terrified me. the kind of terrified where i couldn't stop laughing hysterically. sort of like i laugh on roller coasters.
also, is anyone else nervous about this week's episode? it looks like yau is on the chopping block. hopefully that's a bit of misdirection...

By the way, all the compliments are awesome. You guys rule.

WORD, schoonie!

The four of them arrive at the spa, and there is gratuitous Stacy Showering footage, which I am ashamed to say that I found sort of hot. I don't understand why they were showering in their clothes - other than for the gratuitous shower shots....

The understatement of the year was when Alex said he is a lawyer....ha!

As much as I love Earl and how much Cassandra's skillz rule, I have to say that Yau-man totally has my vote. No question.

Stacey is such a vile cunt. Who does she think she is? Saying 'they'll be lucky if they get fed!" Who the hell are you?

I hope one of them takes an oar from the boat and bashes her nasty disgusting face in.

KH
hates Stacey!

Jack, your insights into the game are deep and incisive.... are you Dalton Ross?

If Dalton Ross read my column, I would lose it that would be so awesome.

Schoonie, you are really doing a fine job here, I enjoy reading every single page.

And this just in from CBS Two villages are missing their idiots.. and request Alex and Mookie get back home NOW.... and in a follow up story.... The South L.A. Rehabilitation Hospital for the terminally Stupid has posted a bulletin---- They are searching for a former patient that goes by the name Dre/Dreamz/ZZZZZZZZman.

Great recap Schoonie! And great photos and captions! I can't wait to hear your new raprock band and I'm glad to know what their first album cover will look like.

I agree with a lot of the other commenters - it would be great to have you recap on BB this summer - and why not throw your hat in the ring for the Pirate show too?