Off With Their Heads!

survivor3-2-06Hello folks, it is me again, your humble J-Unit. B-side is still getting caught up, so once again, I get the nod to fill in for Survivor. Sorry for the tardiness, but I am dispatching this from an undiscolsed location in Las Vegas. Thankfully, I was able to post in the last few sober hours I will have this weekend.

I think if any of us had predicted a few weeks ago that Casaya would go on a three challenge winning streak, people would have thrown us into an insane asylum, most likely the one Shane just escaped from. Casaya is practically a juggernaut, and you have to admit that their combination of unmatched pettiness and determination in the challenges makes for one of the more enjoyable tribes that we have ever seen in Survivor. Nothing is better than when a tribe is always fighting but can't be split up because they are doing too well in the challenges. But if La Mina could come up with a little winning streak of their own, they could even things up in time for the merge. As the way things stand, the post-merge politics should be some of the best in history. We have to wait for that sort of political intrigue, but we'll always have Casa De Charmin, which is helping Bobby demonstrate a whole new meaning for "industrial espionage".

Coming off of their second tribal council in a row, I was sort of surprised to see all of the people who were upset that Ruth Marie had been voted out, and I am not just talking about Dan. Sally was proud to be the last woman standing on La Mina, but she was talking with Austin how much she missed Ruth Marie. Ruth Marie was nice, and she probably didn't deserve to be trashed after she left, but saying that "Every day I spent with her, I was more and more amazed" is sort of pushing it don't you think? OK, so I was more and more amazed by Ruth Marie as well. Every week I watched, I couldn't believe how boring she was.

Casaya is still living large, but things could still be better. Bruce likes his tribe, but he believes that there is something missing, like a Zen rock garden. Admittedly, there isn't much that Bruce does that I think is wrong, but I was really surprised at how much some of the other members of Casaya were pissed off that Bruce was off doing things on his own. They were all having trouble building a fire, and decided that the fire wouldn't start because Bruce wasn't out getting "good wood". Aras, he's a good guy, but he just doesn't know how excited Bruce gets over Zen. If the Zen Garden doesn't give Bruce "good wood", I am not sure what will. All kidding aside, Bruce does a ton of work around camp, and if he wants to spend some time hauling rocks around, what is so awful about that? Just because Aras is pissed that Bobby, Danielle, and Courtney don't do enough work around camp doesn't mean he as to take it out on Mr. Miyagi.

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Head down, ass up, that's the way...Sorry, I have to make that joke at least once a month

You would think all of this fighting with Casaya would eventually affect their performance in challenges, but for some reason, they are always able to pick it up enough to pull it through. For reward, each team picked a member to wade out to a boat filled with supplies. After bringing one of the items back, they would throw it the next team member, until they reached the end, where the person there would put it into a storage box. The first two items were rice and beans, and the next six items were fish. The winner got to take all of the beans, rice, and fish back to camp, meaning they will be well fed for a long time.

Overall, the challenge was fairly easy, and the two teams were pretty even until we got to the fish. After the fish had gone down the line, the person at the end had to chop the head and tail off with a machete before throwing it into the box. Bruce and Terry were chopping the fish, and although I am sure Bruce could break like twenty cinder blocks with his forehead, he was having a little trouble chopping the heads off of the fish. It looked like La Mina was going to run away with it, and then a couple of things happened. First, Dan and Sally were having trouble with their pitch and catch, and second, Bobby got to work.

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Comments (29)

Keith Author Profile Page:
Shane threw in a vote for Aras because he didn't want to vote for Bobby after promising his son's life away not to vote for him.

I think there was actually more going on than that. True, Shane couldn't bring himself to vote for Bobby after swearing on his son not to do so, but he still wanted to get rid of Bobby, and this was the best way to do it.

He knew there were three votes for Bobby (Cirie, Danielle, Courtney) and two votes for Bruce (Aras, Bobby). He didn't know for sure how Bruce was voting, but it seemed unlikely that it would be for Bobby.

So if Shane had voted for Bruce, as he'd been planning, he'd have caused a tie; by voting for Aras, he could (technically) keep his word to Bobby and still be sure that Bobby would go home. Very smart voting.

Poor Dan. Hitting his shiny head on the bottom of the boat must have hurt.

It was funny though... especially the part when you can hear someone shouting, "Watch your head!"

"Watch your head" is becoming one of my favorite Survivor phrases. Every time you hear that magic phrase, you can be sure that someone is getting a concussion. Remember what happened with Danni and the swinging pole last season?

zoobabe Author Profile Page:

Thanks for picking up on the point that Courtney didn't even PARTICIPATE in the challenge to win the wine, yet bitched to Bobby about how they all worked hard for it. I think tha the women really need to stick together on Casaya, and keep voting off the guys. Cirie's really playing it smart now and staying under the radar.

Thw whole scene after Nick and Austin ate too many beans was gross. I always seem to be eating dinner durin Survivor, so I'm glad that there were no sound effects. I also like Terry more and more. He comes back from Exile Island stronger, while his team gets weaker. He's gonna roll right through to the end if someone doesn't target him fast!

Ash Author Profile Page:

Awww, I was hoping for a picture of Shane gnawing on the fish carcass, nasty!

pupkick Author Profile Page:

The song goes FACE down, ass up.... but I still couldn't stop laughing when I saw that caption.

Victoria Author Profile Page:

Since there is a lack of a good man to fall in love with this season, I have decided to root for Cirie. I like her the best of all the people on the show. Did you see her face when she saw that Ruth Marie was voted out and she realized she was the last of the "older women?"

I'm not sorry to see Bobby go. I like how Danielle turned the game around and Cirie jumped right in and they decided NOT to blindly follow whatever that a**hole Aras says.

That is the way Tribal Council should be-votes all over the place-people voting what they felt instead of doing whatever they are told to vote. This was really good.

Go Cirie!

Zharak Author Profile Page:

I think Aras is a pretty cool guy. He's kept his word so far and he doesn't sugarcoat anything. Sad to see Bobby go, colorful personalities are always more interesting and I would have rather seen Courtney kicked off.

jack Author Profile Page:

Since I am small-minded, I thought that Bruce would be good at chopping fish because he was Asian, and I thought that was something you had to learn even before you learned to walk. Perhaps if they were using a samurai sword, it would have been easier for him. Luckily, Bobby restored my faith in stereotypes, and he was able to wield a machete as well as anybody in any discovery channel special I have ever seen.

--i was thinking the same thing, j-unit--glad to know i'm not the only racialist around. i'm thinking maybe bruce's problem was that the chopping block almost came up to his chin.

and thanks also for pointing out that bobby was sorta-kinda entitled to get his drink on. it's no surprise that a brother from LA would have a hard time hiding his contempt for useless, annoying white bitches, but i was sorry to see his attitude blow his chances.

god, what is the matter with those la mina boys? they are just helpless without daddy terry. and igor (aka dan) just can't seem to keep the operation from falling apart without his master.

but hey, they pulled it together and sent casaya to one of the more discombobulated and entertaining tribal councils in recent memory. as stupid as it seems that these people can't get on the same page, the trainwreck is fun to watch.

most interesting was the fact that cirie--who, not so long ago, was bluntly informed by the self-appointed kings of the dickhead alliance that she would be the next to go--never even came up as a possibility for the boot. how did the overweight 'older woman' suddenly become more valuable than the outdoor expert/karate master and the deuce-droppin', fish-choppin' machine?

that's what i call game play. well done, cirie. well done.

Oh come on, the reward is for the tribe - people had to sit out because of the numbers. As impressive as Bobby's mad fish-hacking skillz were, it's never been the custom to divvy it up according to who did the most to win it. And Bruce was the one who almost lost it for them. That was shaping up to be almost as painful to watch as Jamie's rope-chopping flameout. And how disgusting were all those gnarly close-ups of Bruce's increasingly pulverized fishhead. Reminded me of that old SNL fish-o-matic sketch. Bleugh.

But what a vote! What a tribe! They're all so effective in pissing the others off (except for Cirie who acts as an entertaining narrator of all the craziness), I'd be sad to see any Casayan go.

Hell, I'm even coming round to Shane. He did some epic crazy-ass eyeroll in the midst of the squabbling between Aras and Bruce had me in stitches. Honestly you'd think if anyone could appreciate Bruce's rock garden it would be Mr New Age. Still it was a bit stupid for Bruce to set it up at the base of the tribal flag if he didn't want anyone else using it.

And how the hell did they also manage to fit a cameraman in Casa de Charmin.

Welcome back, J-Unit.

Whoever thought fish heads would be so difficult to chop off?

I thought that scene with Bobby & Bruce getting drunk and passing out in the outhouse was hil-arious. Just priceless!

I am ever so happy the two tribes will be going in the merge evenly (barring any big surprises they might have to "switch things around".. but even #'s make for good TV). Casaya, led by Shawn, isn't exactly a brain trust, and they may not even be smart enough to realise that voting for Terry might be a bad idea during the next vital vote?

I think Aras is an ok guy, but he has no respect for someone who's helped his tribe out--though likewise, I think Bruce is a little condescending, given his teaching background (I just root for him more because he's more of an underdog now... and because of PASSION!).

Now, J-Unit & B-Side, any way I can lobby for the inclusion of another reality show in the TVgasm recap line-up? I'd love to see reviews of the new series Black. White. on FX... using make-up art to switch races of 2 suburban families, one black, one white. Any way I can put in a push for that of thing?

Oh man, I have to make a few corrections above (wish there was an edit function). B-side's not back yet (got you guys and your alphabetical nomenclature confused again), Shawn=Shane, and they're NOT quite even yet--forgot about Cirie, our Machiavellian leaf-hater! (I have to admit that I'm warming up to her more, since she's got the smarts to keep her mouth shut, which no one else on Casaya seems capable of--but she took a hit yet again when she made a face at the thought of eating sushi that seemed a response to someone asking her to swallow toilet water--I can't WAIT for the food challenge!!!)

Lizardqueen Author Profile Page:

Though I favor Bruce, I was irked by his inability to whack that fish's head off. I was thinking "Go cut a rope" the entire time.

How could Courtney not be considered for the vote? She sucks. If I were Shane I'd risk the "swear on my kid" BS and get rid of her annoying ass. Shane, just go home and watch for falling pianos, anvils, lightning, etc. She needed to go before Bobby. He was intelligent and much needed for challenges. Plus I liked hearing him talk. Why all the fuss about the wine? If it had been split up each person would get 1/2 a glass, maybe. If you can't have 2 glasses why bother?
The assorted voting is what I always wanted to happen. When everyone follows their master it's such a bore. But Bobby, why, oh why, did you vote for Bruce? Were you in a blackout? If he had just voted Courtney...

It's a good thing no one got sick from the fish. You can't just eat random fish and call it sashimi. They must have gotten the ok from Survivor staff on that one, right?

georgiababe Author Profile Page:

Ah..I just love to hate Casaya. They put the "fun" in "dysfunctional". I love Bruce, and was so worried that he'd go. I hope they vote Aras off. He seems to be such a pompous ass, and he bothers me so much. In scenes from next episode, I am glad to see Danielle and Courtney plotting to vote Shane off. Although I don't really like either of them, and I would rather see Aras go, I am happy to see that their alliance is crumbling. Perhaps Bruce and Cirie can join with Danielle (who stood up for Bruce at tribal) and pick off Aras and Courtney, if they don't merge before then. I am beginning to like Cirie. I didn't at first, b/c I was annoyed that the older women voted Tina off, but now I hope that she and Bruce jump ship to La Mina. That'll be an awesome tribe. I like the entire La Mina tribe (except Sally's only okay) and with Bruce and Cirie, that'd be a perfect tribe I think. And perhaps Danielle too, but she's kind of dumb so maybe not... Anyway, let's wait and see!!

zoobabe Author Profile Page:

LQ- they let them eat a lot of stuff before that made them sick after. Why not fish? I was wondering why someone didn't think to preserve the fish in the spices (or salt water?) to save for cooking later.

Lizardqueen Author Profile Page:

zb- Eating bad seafood can kill you. You could get the runs or the grip, but you could also croak. I'm not being alarmist, but definitely curious as to the origin of the fish (was it caught locally or flown in?), and whether or not they got the go ahead from someone to eat it raw. Joke away nasty boys, I know you love when I say eat it raw.

Next topic - zb are you in Houston? I can't remember. A girlfriend just moved there so I'll be visiting.

zoobabe Author Profile Page:

no LQ- I'm in Fort Worth. Home of "The Bachelor"'s sister and bro-in-law.

btw- if someone had a bad seafood reaction, they could just bring in a helicopter to fly him/her out to a hospital (ala Michael-Australia).

JasonR Author Profile Page:

Too bad they didn't do this fish-toss/head chop challenge last season . . this is a challenge that Lydia the fishmonger could've excelled in. Is it just me or when Shane got done swearing on his kid's life did he also make Bobby swear on his (Shane's) kid? Isn't the point to make Bobby swear on the life of someone who is important to him, or at least that he has met? If Courtney is bright enough to figure out that Bruce voted for her, it will be fun to watch her reaction after she was instrumental in saving his ass. Finally, if Redd Fox weren't dead I would've swore he was Bobby's father in the Febreeze Family Moment.

MrsC Author Profile Page:

Oh I don't think Courtney is smart enough to know Bruce voted for her. She is disgusting to me. And c'mon... the whole friggin' beach and she has to do her stretching on his rock garden? Show some respect woman!

La Mina reminds me of the season with the softporn star turned used car salesman (natch!)blondhighlites guy- (whatwashis name?) Bryan. I didn't think we'd see another team fall apart with out their fearless leader again but here we are. Terry, Terry, Terry... you gotta leave instructions in the sand on what the hell everyone has to do when you are away- they just cannot cope with out you. I was glad to see them get so sick. Idiots!

B-Side, you had me LOL with the "pledge a testicle." That is a very good point although I wasn't too happy thinking of Shane's balls. I hate to see folks make a promise on the lives of their kids. Creeps me out and pisses me off they would do that with these strangers they hardly know.

And good of Danielle to speak up for Bruce. But I just love Bruce and his rockgardening winedrinkin' whackafishheading Mr. Miagi self.

MrsC Author Profile Page:

Ooops, wait, sorry to give wrong props to B-Side on the testicle pledge J-Unit!

Must.remember.J-Unit.makes. funnies.about.balls.

stacyrocks Author Profile Page:

Great episode, and once again good job on the recap J-Unit! :)

Now, about this episode, Cirie = awesome! That's all I've got to say. I really want her to go far in this game.

And I just cannot believe Shane. Shane's son has got so much riding on his head; with his cracked out father having random people swear on his poor young life. How f*cked up of Shane to do sh!t like that!! Oh and anyone noticed Shane's face at tribal council after the vote when Jeff was saying something like 'Maybe the honesty shown here at the vote will bring the tribe together' ? Shane made a face that said 'Hell no Jeff, I don't think so!!'. Good times...

stacyrocks Author Profile Page:

One more thing, I'm happy to see the pic of Bobby's Febreze Family Moment. Bobby's dad (or whoever that old man is) rocked. So 'pimpy'. And that big man next to him looks to be Ice Cube and Ice T's love child. Big like Ice Cube, but with Ice T's face.

flymotha Author Profile Page:

If Shane wouldn't vote for Bobby because he swore on his kid's life... well, he swore on his kid's life to Aras too. I understand it was a throw away vote and the intention was not to vote out Aras, but why not vote for Cirie, who you haven't swore on your kid's life to? Just to be safe? If I'm messing with my child's ultimate demise, I'm going to take precautions. Meanwhile, didn't he see the Survivor with Twila and how swearing on her kid's life came back to haunt her?!

What ever possessed Cirie to wear that bathing suit on national TV and when she'd be doing so much physical activity? Every week her massive cleavage startles me.

flymotha Author Profile Page:

Oh, and one more thing... wouldn't Casa de Charmin have SMELLED NASTY... and Bruce and Bobby were all laying up in there?! I mean, I can't imagine curling up and falling asleep right on top of where Bobby dropped a duece.

JasonR Author Profile Page:

I'm sure that ten-pound steaming pile was functioning as a furnace and keeping them warm.

carol Author Profile Page:

From Bobby on Survivor Live:

Courtney and Danielle drank almost all of the wine the night before. The other members of the tribe actually had to stop them and hide the bottles. Bobby said they were "total lushes".

Bobby was not the first one to use the bathroom, he was just the first to sh**. It actually is real bathroom. For sanity reasons they could not just make it a hole in the ground. If they had done that, then the water that flooded the camp would have been really really nasty. Just like the tank that holds their drinking water, their bathroom goes into a tank that will be removed during the clean-up after filming is over.

Sher Author Profile Page:

Oh, that's rich! Courtney and her sidekick with the boobs drink like fish, and have to have the wine hidden from them, but then come down on Bobby, who won the damned challenge almost single-handedly, for drinking more than his share?! HA!

Thanks for that info, Carol. Interesting.

zoobabe Author Profile Page:

"For sanity reasons they could not just make it a hole in the ground. "

For "sanity" reasons carol? Somehow that typo makes sense. I'd go insane if I had to spent the rest of my time on an island full of "dueces" too! LOL

Victoria Author Profile Page:

Shane probably swears on his kid's life so much-he can't possibly keep track-especially with all the detoxing.

I think they were probably given the okay to eat the fish raw-much like I think La Mina had to be told not to eat the puffer fish because they were poisonous, because it seemed like they were gonna eat the puffer fish and then they weren't.

Victoria Author Profile Page:

By the way, I think Bobby's brother(?) looks like a really fat Terrence Howard.

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