I'm not going to lie. I enjoyed this episode a lot, but your recap was about 100 times better than the actual episode. I laughed out loud several times. Great job!!

Schoonie, I'm really offended by your feeling it's ok to make fun of the homeless.

Just kidding! Great recap! Funny as hell. Welcome!

I agree it looks like a promising season. Seems like a pretty smart group overall, and unlike last season it seems like this season's crew are actually fans of the show and understand how things work (other than our pal Dreamz).

Interesting how this show can continue to run twice a year and not wear out its welcome like "The Apprentice." I guess the difference is that Trump can only be tolerated in much lower doses than Probst, and that other than the odd Pontiac Aztek or Reebok or Febreeze family moment, the show doesn't beat you over the head with product placement like Apprentice.

Very funny recap. A little long, but I can handle that if the jokes are funny. And indeed they were. I was laughing out loud at the Helen Keller comment.

Keep up the good work, and please "smell things" even more in your upcoming recaps.

Thanks for the kudos, guys. Given the rabid fan base for B-Side's recaps, I was a little terrified, so I'm glad you guys approve. And word on the length, too; so much happened though, and I didn't want to miss anything. Anyway, I look forward to writing more recaps, hopefully! I'm sure my competition will be stiff.

Very funny recap, Schoonie!

This was one of the best first episodes of Survivor I can recall out of the last few seasons.

I'm not going to lie...I was pretty sad when I started to read this recap and saw "Guest Columnist" instead of "B-Side".

But this recap was freakin' awesome. Great job.

great recap. very detailed and funny. thanks.

rocky totally voted for mookie to screw with him. loved mookie's reaction to the vote. should make things interesting when they get back to camp.

sc

Outstanding recap, Shoonie! I'm going to say it. It was better than(dare I say?) B-side's. Funny and just freaking awesome. Looking forward to many more.

Very good recap. I like your sense of humor, and the show is off to a good start. It was a little lengthy though.

This recap was freakin' hilarious - great job, Schoonie!

I heard the familar Baston twang out of Rocky's mouth and immediately thought "Boston Rob, Part Deux - blech!" but hopefully he's shiftier than he looks.

Yau-man rocks! After he tapped open the box that the big guys with the rocks couldn't open, I'm rooting for him to go all the way.

BTW - the length was ok for me, Schoonie! I was able to procrastinate on work for just that much longer due to the length :)

Great recap schoonie, I guess you didn't want to go with B-side's normal mention of the gratutitous crab shot - although when we saw it I said "That will be in the recap!" It was a great first show. Now I want MORE!

I liked this recap, very entertaining! Good job!

I love Yaoman, he's awesome. I hope he goes far. This looks like it is going to be an interesting season!

Outstanding recap, Schoonie. I haven't bothered to read all of the submissions in the forums, but you have already proven yourself to be a worthy successor to B-Side. Very funny - you smell me?

Oh yeah, and Dreamz is an absolute tool.

Next time, make it a little longer.

/sarcasm

Anytime I see the words "Guest Columnist" I get a little nervous but I was really impressed with this review. Great job!

I was fine with the length. Sure it was longer than usual but it held my interest the entire time.

Hope to smell you again soon! (I hope someone doesn't read that out of context because it just doesn't sound right...)

you have big shoes to fill but it was a highly entertaining recap schoonie and I commend you on it.

how did you know about the "twist" with the individ idols only being allowed to be played before the votes are read? Did they say that, b/c if so I missed it.

I read some interviews with Probst to do a little pregame research, which is where I found the new idol rule.

Very nice recap! The line about people misspelling Boo's name B-O-U-G-H at tribal council really cracked me up.

great recap, i didn't get to see the episode but it sounds like i missed a good one!

i hope Rocky and Dreamz make it to the merge so we can watch them fight it out in future episodez

okay i admit to being a die-hard-bside-recaps-survivor fan so i was a little sad to see "guest columnist"...BUT this recap was fab. good jokes and detail and i liked the length.

schoonie...you have my vote...ya smell me?

Excellent recap, Schoonie. B-Side, if he were still alive, would be proud.

Looks like most of you enjoyed the first episode. I'm not sure why, but I didn't. Maybe it's the cast--most of them seem too normal and boring. Yao Ming is awesome though. I hope he wins.

Shameless plug: I'll still be doing Survivor screenshots and chicken commentary on my site. Sorry.... Future plugs will be a bit more subtle, I promise :-P

Okay, so I just got the news a little while ago, but apparently I win! So, you'll be seeing me every week from now on. Next week's recap? I'm going for fifteen pages. Kidding. But looking forward to writing here!

B-Sides dead? Dude.

Schoonie - that recap was so good! Usually people's first few are pretty shaky, but you were hilarious and observant without being overhanded. Well played.

My favorite was Jeff P not wanting to yell Poor Man's Boston Rob, struggling to paddle! For the rest of the night, I'm going to use Probst speak. Should be fun while I watch 24.

Watching those guys trying to open that wooden crate reminded me of the scene in "Zoolander" of Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller trying to "retreive" the info from the computer.

They told you that you won? Well, congratulations I guess, but that hardly seems fair. I was supposed to be the other finalist and I sent my recap before the deadline, twice in fact, and received a message saying there was a delay because the recipient server didn't respond. Every attempt I have made to contact B-side or the TVgasm staff since then has gone unanswered. I'm not sure how its my fault that there was a problem with their server.

Good recap though, I'm just a little disappointed that I didn't get a fair shot at it.

Let them know; he just told me the other guy didn't send it in. I'd rather have it be fair, of course!

Yeah man, I hear you, but that's the problem...I've been trying to contact them for days and nobody's responding back. I've now tried J-Unit, B-Side, and the staff address. I don't know if they ever got my recap, or any of the other emails for that matter. I've still got everything in my "sent mail" folder, so I can show them that I did in fact send it on time.

Whatever though, if I lost I lost. Sounds like the decision has already been made. Yours was my favorite of the other 4 articles in the first round anyway, so good luck the rest of the season!

Great recap Schoonie. This was a pretty good first episode with better things to come.

One thing you didn't mention. When Rocky and Jessica made the agreement to tell each other if they knew they were going to get voted out. But it seemed pretty clear he didn't warn her. It didn't even look like he and/or Erica tried to campaign for her. The first Survivor alliance of the season is already dead.

I don't know who these commenters are, but I didn't laugh once reading this.

Cool, I'll put more 'Your Mom' jokes in the next one.

Fantastic recap!

B-Who?

Don't worry jenny10girl, when I can't understand wit and sarcasm, I don't laugh either.

Schoonie, had a few moments of inappropriate bussing out in laughter in my office (loved the Yao Ming/Yau-Man confusion). I'll definitely look forward to "smelling" you this season.

I think that Sylvia should figure out that there are two immunity idols since neither she nor the producers would know which camp the first Exiled person would have come from!

Also find that these are a bunch of boring people so far. Half of them didn't even get confessional time!

Yeah, I was pleasantly surprised by this recap too. Sigh of relief. I don't know why people complain about the length of recaps...the more the better in my opinion. Why else do I come here except to waste time, you know?

Also, I had completely forgotten that Rocky said "You smell me?" -- so funny.

LeslieAnne25 - Um...ok...thanks for that bit of 'wit and sarcasm' there...

Hey guys. Here's the deal with the contest. I told Schoonie he had won, but that's only because I hadn't received the other submission. Turns out my email had been screwy, and Gary had tried to send in his recap, but it had bounced back.

Anyway, we're still working on our server issues, but in the meantime, what we're going to do is have Gary recap this coming episode of Survivor, and then everyone will vote via the comments on which recap they liked best.

Good luck to everyone!

This recap was absolutely hilarious! I actually enjoyed the length. I read the recaps at work when I need something to do so I like when they take a little time to read.

Schoonie!!

That was hilarious, I was laughing from start to finish, you smell me?

Good luck! :)