that passion joke never gets old.

NEVER!!!

I think Shane is bipolar. He's going off the deep end one second then he's telling people that they're going home either this week or next. They are going to regret having that freak on their team.

I'm predicting a Palau-like season, I dont see Shane's team doing well ever.

Haha did anyone else notice when Shane was talking about his son he said something like "I'm so upset, I'm going to miss it's football games".

Shane is missing sweet, sweet nicotine and Prozac. It's gotta be rough. Way to wear your psychosis on your sleeve, dude.

I love Bruce! I felt so bad when he wasn't picked. He was so cute doing his kata and seems like a strong old fella.

Poor Bobby. I thought he was gonna come out in a neck brace after he took the hit from the 200 lb. hurtling vagina.

I still like the old guys.

The passion joke's a good one. But I can never get enough Rubble Man. "Medium pimp, got girls around the world..."

> Inside his inner-monologue was probably something along the lines of "She called me cool? YES! Sweet, sweet validation. I've waited so many years."

Actually, I think that was his outer monologue: he repeated it as he walked to his new tribe.

Man, I feel bad for advertising execs across the country. This guy is just confirming everyone's stereotypes of them: aging pseudo-hipsters clinging desperately to their pseudo-hipness as long as they can..

Lizardqueen -- nothing beats The Rubble Man. This is true.

Shane is such a moron. When he kept going on and on and ON about needing cigarettes and smoking 3 packs a day, I was like this guy needs more than cigarettes. B-Side went with cocaine - I went with black tar heroin. And how much do you want to bet he doesn't have custody of his kid and barely sees him and doesn't pay child support. At this point I hope he makes it to the end because those dorks should have sent his ass packing while they had the chance.

I wonder if Shane's kids will make him paper butterflies.

I'm surprised you didn't have more screencaps of Shane's eyebrows. My God, he scared the crap out of me.

I agree. Shane's eyebrows make Stephenie's look... er... unwacky in comparison. Crazy guy, crazy eyebrows.

Oh, and that Yokozuna attack by Cirie on Bobby is classic Survivor physical comedy, heh.

As a smoker, (1/2 pack a day) I can attest to Shane's psychosis. At day 3 I would be going mad, and if he smokes 3 packs a day, he is a chain smoker, and must be absolutely NUTS at this point. Like drive me to the nearest ER nuts. However, I wouldn't be surprised if he indulged in some nose candy also.
Funny how earth mother was exposed for the LA Poser that she really is. TFF.
Mr Miyagi rocks. I hope he lasts.

If I found out my teammate smoked 3 packs a day, I'd probably want to vote them out. You cant be in that great of physical shape when all you do is chain smoke cigarettes.

B-side, I love your LA references (KCRW etc.). Redondo Beach in da hizzy!!!

I think loathe Shane more than any reality show contestant to date. Swearing on his son's life?! Unbelievable. More annoying than all of the Friendsh*t combined. He actually managed to make me feel bad for Melinda getting the boot, and I was still pretty annoyed about Tina from last week Seriously, Danielle, what kinda moronic f*cktard, thinks Shane is "cool". Likewise, Courtney, who seems stalled at a pre-verbal stage, and Aras is just a colossal tw*t. Worst alliance ever. Even worse knowing that the awesomest Survivor, Bruce, is likely toast now that he's part of that crap tribe. I really really hope he found that immunity idol.

Errr, oops, that post sounds really angry-aggressive. He's just that annoying. My apologies.

I'm sure the producers are loving this Shane nonsense for its so-called entertainment value, but he makes me anious when he is on screen, and I want him voted out immediately. Why keep him? He certainly did not excel in the immunity challenge. He couldn't even stay under water for more than 10 seconds.

What happened to Cirie's scheming? She had an opportunity to approach the other women with an all-female alliance when they were pissed at Aras and Shane for outing their alliance. They wouldn't necessarily have taken them up on it, but at least she could have tried. And another opportunity for an all-women alliance slips away.

What irritates me the most on Survivor is when they switch up the tribes. And to do it in the second episode! What the hell was the point of having four tribes if they weren't going to see it out for a little bit longer? I really would have liked to see where that would have gone. Shane's tribe is fortunately doomed. I knew when they were picking all the weird people that they would be.

Anxious-Shane makes me anxious-so anxious I've forgotten how to spell.

I hope Bruce comes in and kicks some pansy ass quick! I could not believe how passive Cirie and Melinda were about being told TO THEIR FACES that one of them was going when they knew that Shane had wanted to quit a little bit earlier. I would have been raving, and then scheming. Why sit back and let someone else decide your fate while you cry about it when you can try to save yourself? Hopefully Shane will quit whining, b/c I don't think that Bruce is gonna put up with it as well. He was already on a tribe with him and knows his style. I also hated how Shane made the comment about already making enough money in his job, so he didn't need the Survivor winnings. Go home to your addictions then- you pansy ass Tommy Lee wannabe!

Did you see how excited the sickly Albino guy was when he got picked? He must have always been picked last for the kickball games as a kid...

Is Shane's alliance in trouble now that Bruce is back?

i sure hope so. survivor has had its fair share of infuriating assholes in the past (johnny fairplay, bah-ston rahb, fat katie from pulau, lex, and pretty much the whole cast of survivor:thailand), but in less than two episodes, shane, aka 'tommy lee's utterly humorless and schizophrenic long-lost twin,' has seated himself firmly at the top of the list. and what could be worse than a mini-cabal of achingly self-obsessed hipsters ganging up on the roly-poly older babes?

shane and aras are clearly carrying the most virulent strain of asshole-itis, but anyone who actually says aloud 'i pick the cool guy with the tatts' can't be far behind, and what on earth are we supposed to make of anyone who calls herself 'gangsta hollywood' and identifies her career as 'fire dancer'? (by the way: WTF? fire dancer? is she serious? is that just code for 'stripper with a novelty act'? what does she do between rainbow gatherings and burning man festivals?)

sometimes having an asshole villain around for a while can make things interesting (johnny fairplay, for instance), but shane is so repulsive that i wish he would go away ASAP. maybe the DT's will set in and he'll get a medical discharge. the nosebleeds can't be far off.

nevertheless, melinda and cirie flunked the scheme-test this week. as kooky and schizo as aras and shane were acting, there was certainly an opening to persuade the younger gals that there are safer bets than an alliance with a bi-polar dickhead in detox and a self-absorbed crystal-healer who makes a living standing on his head. unfortunately, shane seemed outperformed most of his tribe in the challenges, and let's face it: a pair of forty-ish chubbies with no apparent outdoor or people skills don't exactly bring much to the table (unless someone could fashion a primitive breast-pump for cirie).

as for bruce, how cool is he? pray god he teams up with the outsiders and pulls one of the young chicks away from the hipster-dickhead alliance. losing tina was bad enough, but if we lose bruce, there's nothing left but a bunch of typically bland actor/model wannabes, terry (aka tom westman 2.0), ruth marie (or, should i say, 'mute marie'), cirie and her pontoons, the casper-naut, and shane.

i need an f'in cigarette, man.

Thank ou so much for pointing out Shanes walk! He looks as if he has shit his pants! Must be the withdraw..............

Shane picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue.

Not to mention, even if they let Shane quit, he wouldnt get to see nor talk to his son. Yes he would get to smoke and drink his beloved coffee, but all the crying about his son??? Did he not read the rules??

I have a feeling that we have yet to scratch the surface Courtney's annoyingness. In trying to even find out who the hell Ruth Marie is, I looked on the Survivor website. Courtney's bio reveals that she is currently working on a screenplay that will promote "world unity". I'm sure that will make it to the big screen . . . would love to hear the pitch meeting. It also lists among her past occupations : snow maker and trailblazer. WTF?!? I thought that the position of snow maker was, is,and always will be held by our good friend WEATHER. And "trailblazer" - what, was she marching with Martin Luther King? You have to be one seriously deluded, hipster, a**hole to list those things in your bio.

Great recap as always. "Simmer down, Space Patrol" - I'm glad that I didn't have coffee in my mouth when I read that, cuz' I'd have sprayed the computer.

Um, isn't "Sickly albino kid" also known as "Dan the Astronaut"?

Do you have any idea what sort of survivial training they go through? As well as the Navy pilot...

Between the two of them they could have probably snapped off one of Shane's legs and used it to make a fire if they'd needed to.

What the hell is so hard about Tribal Council, people? To the untrained eye, it seems that you would want to vote the people you want off (InS[h]ane), thus keeping the people you need (Tina). Next in my crosshairs would be Aras for stirring the pot unnecessarily.

I think InS[h]ane's Brokeback walk is attributed to Colby Donaldsonitis...his boys are a'chaffin'.

Happy Valentines all!

Glad I'm not the only Shane hater . . . but he's not proved me wrong. I hope Bruce just chews him up and spits him out!!!! (like picking tobacco off your tongue) At first I liked the new age wonder twins, but they do seem so out of touch--how noble to announce who's going . . . good Karma abounds . . . and what about Bobby--isn't he as quiet as RM (who I still like despite her taste in men . . .jeese, Casper over Bruce--Hello!)

I'm thinking there will be more mix ups and soon . . . I don't think the producers like it when Cirie is a slam dunk next to go . . .

Great re-cap and comments!!! Next time I see a 200 lb hurtling vagina coming at me, I'll freeze and prepare myself for rebirth--then perhaps the breast pump might get some mileage! Yes, I'm a giver . . .

juddfan, based on your comments from last season, I'm thinking you're like me and need someone on the show to fall in love with (Bobby Jon) Sadly, I am not feeling anything for any of these people. So far. they all really suck. I hope someone steps it up and captures our hearts.

Ah, Victoria, you've read me right! It sooo increases my enjoyability to catch a glance of Judd in his wet tighty whities! (sorry for those who just up-chucked!) I do think Terry is a hot guy, but eh . . . and Bruce is actually kind of sexy too, but again, eh, and for the young guys I think Nick is extremely handsome, in the colby vein, I think, but you know, those young perfect guys just don't do it for me like potbellied, bald headed dolts like Judd!!!! (ok, yes, I'd rather love a sweet version, and I AM trying to mock myself here, and not Judd or any others of my heart aching ilk)

Being a BJ fan though, it seems the odds are better for you finding a sweety to crush on . . . no!?

ps. That first shot of Shane looks like he's trying to take a big hit out of mid air--guess he is desperate!

And B-side, I'm glad you say cocaine and not smack, what would that say about me and LQ!?

Shane is obviously using Survivor as his own personal Betty Ford clinic. He has the wild eyes, the scratching, the spasticity, the unpredictable mood swings, the I'm cool, I'm young, women love me, men want to be me vibe. He is what tragically hip looks like when it goes through crack withdrawal.

I'm not in love with any of these people either, juddfan. Unless you count Bruce and that's in a paternal way. Terry is kinda handsome. It can't be my friend the Caspernaut. Tell me he's not an elongated Scott Hamilton with a touch of Hellraiser thrown in. We'll see. They certainly did go heavy on the sheep for this edition. The way Melinda was just so easily lead to slaughter, with those wide eyes, so innocent, and so so dumb.

Nick is very hot! What's wrong with eye candy? We'll have time to fing out if he has any substance later.

jack- your breast pump comment made me LOL! She could feed the whole island if only she could harness her power.

Seeing the one guy suck water off the branch was unnerving! How about a screen cap of that!

I agree, Juddfan, Terry is hot. So is Austin. Nick's a little too pretty for me, and Aras grosses me out. Except for Bruce, I pretty much want all of Casaya out of the game. Cirie's ok, but she lost points with me this week when she didn't fight.

Has anyone heard Bobby talk? I haven't heard him say anything ever, but I might have missed it.

Thank you Vee. I do believe that we forgot to consider having the hots for the very hot Bobby because we forgot he was there. He's been brooding. But tonight! Man alive! I do believe we might have a new bobbyfan.

I think Bobby's hot too, but I'm not too sure about his attitude. . . he was noted as giving the nicknames to the original 4 tribes, including "Spice Girls" and "Golden Girls" and I believe he called his group the "hot guys" but don't quote me. He also boasted that he was the leader of his boy-toy tribe, though, as we all saw, they were argueable inept at the shelter building.

Lots of physicality on the episode . . . looking forward to the recap!