Reward Challenge! This year's variation on Beat The Crap Out Of Each Other involves two poles in the ground; one member of each tribe wraps themselves around the pole and two members of the other team will attempt to extricate them from the pole and drag them across a line about fifteen feet away. The first tribe to two points wins the aforementioned bedding and gets to send someone to Exile. In Round 1, Dan and Ace are at the poles, while Charlie/Marcus and GC/Matty are tasked with dragging them across. Charlie and Marcus work together to get Dan away from the pole and begin to drag him. GC manages to get one of Ace's arms free, but then he just sort of gives up and takes a breather while Probst rightfully berates him. As GC relaxes, Dan is dragged across the line and Kota is awarded the first point.
Before round two, Ace orders Paloma to take the pole position for the next round, and she reluctantly agrees. Paloma is so tiny that Randy and Crystal really have no problem just picking her up and dragging her by her ass across the line, so Fang actually gets a point and ties the score. The final round is really hard fought and entertaining to watch as Dan fights Marcus and Bob and Crystal and Matty work their asses off to get Ace closer to the line. At one point when Crystal starts to lose steam, Dan screams at her from across the course to get it in gear, since he can't hold out for too much longer. Crystal takes inspiration from this and overpowers Ace, literally picking him up and hurling him over the line, making Fang the winners of the challenge. They are understandably overjoyed to have finally won. And good for them! I bet the Oakland Raiders are so jealous right now.
Back at Fang's camp, they spend a long time doing that thing where your whole group rehashes how awesome something was as a way of bonding. They all tell us that they're finally starting to feel like a real team, and hopefully soon Geppetto Probst will recognize that and make them a real boy. Over at Kota, Ace tries to rationalize the fact that they got beat by a group of jokers by calling the competition a "strategic withdrawl". Is he Karl Rove? What is happening? Paloma tells us that she's pretty angry at Ace for making her take the pole position when Crystal is such a ginormous specimen of woman. Over at the pier, Charlie, the members of his alliance and Ace discuss how disappointing Paloma's performance was. Ace makes sure to throw in some praise for Sugar to keep her out of the fire, but no one really responds. Ace tells us in confessional that Paloma has pretty much "crossed and dotted the Ts on her contract of death". Wait, Ace dots his Ts? His writing must be mad illegible, yo.
Over at Exile Plains, Sugar arrives and chooses to take the clue instead of the comfort. She gets the same clue that Dan had last week, but she also gets a freaking map that takes her directly to the next clue. Are you serious, show? Just give someone the damn thing, if you're going to do that. Sugar attempts to follow the map and ends up getting lost in the jungle. This causes her to start crying, because that's exactly what you should do when you get lost: cry until someone helps you. She tells us that she decided to do Survivor because she thinks it might help her with her dad's death. Now, I've never lost a parent and I have no idea what that feels like, but I do feel like it's kind of bad form to share that information with America at the first opportunity, you know? Also, way to give me something that I can't mock. What a downer.
So anyway, thanks to the map Sugar finds the first clue, and then the second, and then the third, and then...she finds the idol. (My notes: Seriously?) She's all "I found it and the lawyer couldn't!" Well, you had a map. I mean, good for her for finding the idol and all, and she did figure out the clues, but on the other hand: map.
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Comments (9)
Good recap!! I didn't even think about the fact that Sugar had a map and Dan didn't...How is that fair? Then again, its Survivor, so what do you expect.
I saw a commercial on TV today that they are picking new tribes this week. I hate when they do that, but its always cool when alliances end up getting split up. So, maybe it will be a good things. Anyways, thanks again for the recap!
1 of 9 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on October 6, 2008 6:37 PM
Schoon, you tossed off some of the funniest lines you've gotten off since "Two People I Don't Give A Shit About So Who Cares Theatre."
But: The next time Lil' Marcus comes out for air, are we only supposed to notify Flip? Did no one think to send Foz a link to that naked photo of Dallas from "The Amazing Race"? (Which I'll also take, now that his mother's lawyers have intervened.)
2 of 9 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on October 6, 2008 9:59 PM
I felt like an idiot. All through the beginning of the show I kept saying, "Why are they showing all this Kota strategy, when we know they're not going to tribal council?" As for Sugar's map I thought each successive person got an extra clue. No? I thought they did. Usually I'm on board with the internet majority, but I like Ace. And thanks for the shout out to Eden, NC!
3 of 9 | Posted by geewits | Posted on October 6, 2008 10:14 PM
I think they change it up from season to season, as far as giving out successive clues goes. I think they've either done the "4 clues in four different places" thing, or the "the idol is really hard to find, so you get an extra clue every time" thing. They've never done both, like they have this year. And it's never been a map.
4 of 9 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on October 6, 2008 11:42 PM
I don't see the hidden immunity idol adding all that much interest to the game anyway. You'd think they'd come up with something better after all this time.
It always takes me a long while to get into the cast of a new Survivor season. So far I don't really care much about anyone. I kind of like the Pinup.
Although I'll be happy to see GC leave -- he didn't give up so easily when it was a scramble for individual immunity, did he?
Oh yeah...can someone do an experiment and draw some Borat hair and a mustache on Ace's head? I'm just saying...Ace? Really? Why not Snoopy?
5 of 9 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 7, 2008 8:58 AM
Ohhhh was I glad to see the little mouse gone! I actually told Mr C that if I die and he remarries someone who talks like that, I will haunt him forever. He told me not to worry.
Come to think about it, if you had to live with someone who made dogs come running every time you spoke... that is punishment enough.
And LOL on the "send the wanker shots to Flipit first" rule. OK schoonie, you don't make de rules but we can now guess who does! :D
6 of 9 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on October 7, 2008 9:28 AM
Oh and wanted to add:
thanks for the great recap!
That first screenshot was great; showed how awesome Crystal was- she was pulling both of them! You go girl!
And who was it that gave up their blue jockey's to Paloma and Sugar? Now that is chivalry!
7 of 9 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on October 7, 2008 9:36 AM
The ultimate "Ace is a douchebag" moment for me this episode was when he was talking about how poorly Paloma did in the reward competition. Um... Let's see now. Paloma is about 1/5 the size/weight of Ace, right? Yet the EXACT same two people who took Paloma out also took Ace out! And who did poorly? Oh right... Paloma. A-hole.
8 of 9 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 9, 2008 4:14 AM
This is the 1st time I've visited this site, and I usually never post anything, anywhere. But after reading this, "Randy tells us that he doesn't believe that it's possible to win with the Fang tribe over shots of GC attempting to break a large chunk of wood into pieces, and succeeding only in making himself look like an escaped mental patient. That's when you know might be doomed: when you're locked in a battle of wits with a piece of wood, and the wood is winning decisively." and then the caption in the pic underneath it. I laughed so hard I literally had tears running down my face lol. I hated that GC retard and am so glad that he got booted off. Keep up the good (and hilarious) work! :)
9 of 9 | Posted by malcolms | Posted on October 30, 2008 10:20 PM