This week, on Survivor: Cirie makes me dislike a bunch of people that I used to think were awesome. Amanda FTW!
The episode starts with Mikey and company arriving at camp after the Mary boot, wondering who the hell it was they just voted out. Mikey is like, "Well, I assumed Joel stabbed me in the back, ALREADY" which is hilarious in such a way that it cancels out the next comment about how now Joel is in a group with four girls and a kid, one girl "being Chet". If Mikey were an integer, he would be zero. Much like Mary. WHO?
Mikey tells us that Joel is playing "a long game" when he should be playing "a short game", because it's dumb not to keep your team strong until the merge. And Mary added, what, exactly? Also, that's not why Joel was dumb. Joel was dumb because he drew a bunch of unnecessary attention to himself for pretty much no reason, which is stupid this early in the game. Joel tells us that Mikey "thinks he knows everything and has the whole tribe in his pocket". Then he says he's going to hit Mikey B with a baseball bat. Wait, what? Yeah, well, to get to Mikey, you'll have to get through my friends hypocrisy and irony over here. (Kisses left and right fists)
Credits! This is the last time you'll see anyone on the Favorites tribe make any sense, so enjoy this last look.
After commercial, Parvati and the gang are hanging out over on the beach, and invite Eliza to join them. Soon, the talk turns to voting. Ozzy, for some reason, wants to get rid of Yau-Man, then Jonathan, then Cirie. Honestly? I have no idea why I'm typing this. It will change eight million times before the end of the episode. You know what? Just assume that everybody wants to get rid of everyone else from this point forward. It will make it easier on all of us.
Eliza tells us that she doesn't trust these two couples as far as she can throw them as Ozzy sits there and tells her that he wants to get rid of the people who are the weakest, and thus Yau-Man and Jonathan must go first. Wait, are we talking about the same Yau-Man who regularly smokes people one-third of his age at challenges? Also, what does Ozzy see when he looks at Parvati, a big turkey leg?
Eliza takes this information back to Yau-Man, Jon, Ami, and Cirie, telling them that Yau or Jonathan is likely to be the target in the case that they lose the next challenge. Cirie tells us that she's trying to figure out which side provides the better situation for her, and I cannot figure out why she doesn't automatically side with the alliance where people are NOT making out. Jon works the Parvati angle yet again, talking about how socially dangerous she is. This seems to come up again and again. If it is foreshadowing, I might have to go live in the sewers for a year, subsisting on trash and dirty water until I can re-emerge into society.
Cirie tells us that she'll be honest to people that she believes are telling her the truth, and if she doesn't believe you, then you probably shouldn't believe her. Then she pulls out a scroll made of papyrus and writes this statement in cursive, using the blood of Shane as her ink.
Over at Airai, they have treemail! Each tribe gets to pick three items from the catalog of goodies for which to play. Also, warpaint is included so that they can look as tough as possible. What good is pummeling the crap out of someone if you can't paint cat whiskers on your cheeks? Joel paints himself, and then says the following: "If someone invades my home, I'm gonna kill them." Explain to me any way in which that sentence is appropriate to utter in this instance. Seriously. Go rewatch the clip of Joel saying that, but instead, imagine him saying something like, "Oftentimes, traffic patterns between the hours of three and five can be tedious, even frustrating." Both scenarios? Make the same amount of sense. You guys, I hate Joel.
There's also a part in the treemail where they are instructed to come up with a "war cry", but it's sort of just there to make the treemail rhyme, and not for them to actually do something. And yet, here they are, taking what some intern wrote seriously.
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Comments (8)
People still watch this show??
1 of 8 | Posted by couchpotato | Posted on February 28, 2008 12:31 PM
I'm with you, I don't get why they all just didn't turn around and vote Cirie's butt out. I don't think I could take anymore of her after all that. And tonight's looks like it's more of her blabbing away.
I'm rooting for Ozzy or Amanda. I can't even remember the Fans names except Joel and Kathy. I think the Fans/Faves concept was cool, but I'd rather be watching the Faves the whole time.
2 of 8 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on February 28, 2008 12:31 PM
LOL, schoonie. My brain collapsed a little too.
WTF is up with everyone trying to pull these big power plays in such early days? Cirie = dumb, Joel = dumb, all of the favorites = dumb for not voting out Cirie, and Kathy = dumb for not finding the idol. At least Kathy has the legitimate excuse of being batshit crazy, so she gets a pass from me for now. :D
3 of 8 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on February 28, 2008 12:43 PM
"Seriously, the editing is so off here. You, guys, don't talk about this with Ami right there. THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!"
That is perhaps the best line you've ever uttered in a recap. And btw -AMEN!
We miss you in chat Schoonie - I miss my Enhanced Survivor Experience!
4 of 8 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on February 28, 2008 1:55 PM
I spent the entire post-immunity challenge discussion screaming at the TV: "Just vote out Cirie!"
Seriously, could they have picked a dumber set of "Favorites?"
5 of 8 | Posted by texl711 | Posted on February 28, 2008 2:24 PM
Kickass recap Schoonie! Amen to why the hell there wasn't a general rebellion against Cirie by both alliances! Why would you want this one person wielding all that power and lording it over you? Maybe it was the editing, but I can't believe Jonathan and Yau didn't/couldn't try to convince the couples to get rid of Cirie.
6 of 8 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on February 28, 2008 2:46 PM
Once Cirie started running her mouth I smugly turned to my husband and said, "Rad, they're totally going to vote her out." Have these Favorites learned nothing from previous Survivors? If someone is walking around saying they are the swing vote and acting cocky about it, you cut the bullshit and vote that person out. Just like they did to that chick Dolly a couple seasons back. People with the swing vote think they have all the power and you've got to chop that off at the knees.
7 of 8 | Posted by SnackyCakes420 | Posted on February 28, 2008 3:30 PM
What kind of a whack job is Cirie to deny us Yau-man? I hate her.
8 of 8 | Posted by jaybird | Posted on March 1, 2008 5:02 AM