Survivor: Bob Does Not Teach Art

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This week on Survivor: Kenny does something stupid and Bob makes the most insane fake idol ever.

It's night 30 at Nobag, and the tribe is discussing the Randy Affair. "That was the best tribal so far for sure," says Sugar, entirely proud of herself for orchestrating the whole thing. Bob, however, is not quite as happy. "I don't appreciate that you were laughing like that. Don't belittle him," he yells to Sugar, specifically. Um, Bob? You participated in the deception. Don't get all high and mighty about Randy being fooled by the idol you made and you gave to him. What did you think, Randy was going to play a fake idol and then leave with dignity?

Sugar apologizes to Bob to shut him up. "I don't feel one iota sorry, and I think it's hilarious!" she tells us, mostly because it was hilarious and she really shouldn't feel sorry, because Randy treated her like shit and totally deserved it.

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Corinne decides to get in on the yelling action, pointing out that Sugar is a hypocrite for always calling Corinne herself out for belittling people when she just did a bunch of it an hour ago. Sugar dismisses her immediately, as she should. It's one thing to pay someone back for being a dick to you for a month straight, and it's another thing to be a skank just because you're pretty and can get away with it. "I'm a nice person to people that I like," Corinne bitchfaces, "but now I'm in a camp of mutants and hate them all, so that's pretty much done." That's a good strategy to have, being mean to everyone. Worked well for Randy.

After a shortened credit sequence, we arrive at day 31 in the midst of a gorilla-elephant stand off. Inter-species race war! Bob and Kenny go fishing in Nobag Lake (everything sounds dirty with the word 'Nobag' before it. "Did you hook up with that girl last night?" "Hell yes I did, and I gave her the Nobag Lake.") They seem to have ensnared an absolutely huge catfish in their net, which they take back to camp for everyone to marvel at. Bob takes an aluminum can and rather ingeniously fashions a makeshift grill for the fish. "Bob is very smart," Ken says, "But he's not here to play this game. He's just here to build things. I'd have no problem taking him out." Well, of course not. You sort of have to take everyone out, eventually. That's like saying "I'd have no problem yelling "JENGA!" when you cause those blocks to fall."

Reward Challenge. Today, two teams of three will be racing through the mud to collect a bunch of gears, which when fit together correctly will allow you to turn a crank and raise a flag. The winning team of three will then race to complete a slide puzzle to win. The reward today is love. "I wish I could tell you that your loved ones are here and they're about to come running out of the woods, but they're not." Instead, he has a product-placed phone, which contains video messages from said loved ones. The winner will get to watch their whole video and enjoy some disgusting looking pizza. It looks so bad that I'd rather have Little Caesar's.

To give everyone a little taste of home, Probst will be showing a snippet to everyone right now. My thinking at this point was that the recession must have finally hit Survivor. The challenges have been a little less sophisticated this season, and then they don't even fly the loved ones out? Man.

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"Let's all watch this SPRINT SPRINT SPRINT."

Crystal gets to watch her video first, which is of her very cute daughter and boyfriend/husband (I'm not sure which). Can you imagine being that man? I wonder if he's just given up trying to talk at all. Ken's sister Jenny says hello, which causes Ken to cry. Susie gets to see her husband and child, and by the time Corinne is watching video of her entire family, I realize something. You know if you read these recaps that this part of the season always gets to me, because it's just nice to see. However, the extent to which I am affected is a direct function of how invested I am in the people that are remaining. This season? My heart is cold. How can I care about Susie's family when I don't even care about Susie?

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Comments (22)

cattyfan:

every time Sugar talks about her dad, I cry. I lost my dad this year, too, so I understand her pain...or maybe I just need more alcohol.

Where exactly does Bob keep getting all the beads and bangles for making these fake idols? It's not like there's a Hobby Lobby or Michael's Crafts in the middle of Gabon...is there?

here4beer:

schoonie, I didn't even consider it before, but I think you are absolutely right... Corrine and Bob should have pulled Matty and Suzie instead of Kenny and Crystal. That would have totally worked.

I'm just still mad that not one single person has mentioned blindsiding Sugar. Don't get me wrong- I really like her and want to see her stay- but every single person knows she has the idol and yet this is not even a factor when considering who to vote? It's baffling.

Bob is a fake idol genius. He's like Yau-Man meets MacGyver.

itchy:

H4B: I put this down to Sugar just being a really smart player.

She's been nice to people she needs to be nice to, but especially she's been nasty to the people she needs to be nasty to -- for example, since she has the idol, she can 'afford' to go off on Corinne or Randy, to the satisfaction of the others, who would love to, but can't or won't...so instead they live vicariously through Sugar for that.

At the same time, this also helps to shift the target away from her, because these people (Ken, Mat, Crystal, Suzy) clearly are easily influenced. We'll see how it plays out.

And Schoon, I agree, Sugar looked better without the stupid pigtails. But I'm a sucker for a pinup gal anyway.

I really enjoy Corinne's exasperation over all this. This season started off pretty slow, but the fact that all the so-called 'smart' people have been picked off like sleeping cows by all the mutants has been great fun to watch.

pretty good year:

I love how you keep getting Sugar and Susie confused, Schoon. Ken really overplayed his hand this round. I think it's going to come back to haunt him. He's getting overconfident, and just wants to shake up the game just for the sake of shaking up the game.

Also, in her post-show interviews Corinne said Bob had taken beads and medallions off the torches in order to create his fake idol. That's why, to quote Parvati, it looked so authentic.

schoonie:

My bad on the Susie/Sugar thing. I take notes while I watch the show and sometimes things happen so fast that some of the S names get confused. I'll make the fixes.

slutty-whore:

Question: When they played the clips for next week, they showed a clip with Sugar saying she wanted to target Kenny & Crystal. Wasn't this the same clip from when Ace was eliminated, or am I hallucinating?

shelley:

Grr I can't wait for this season to be over. I hate all of the players left except for Bob. I think Corrine said it best...they are MUTANTS. They are all weak and stupid. They are all just following Ken and Suguar! I hope Crystal and Suzy get a clue and turn...i'm so OVER ken and sugars smugness.

I thought last week Corrine said she had a whole "suck it" speech for when she got voted off? :)

And if Ken gets to the finals, will the jury even believe his claims of "orchestrating" everything?

timberwolf:

On the contrary, Shelley: Nothing fills me with glee like seeing the faces of those better-than-everybody bungholes from Kota (not all of them were that way), getting outplayed and picked off after being very ungracious winners. I'm surprised Randy and Corinne didn't erect shrines in honor of their awesomeness. My favorite 2 are Bob and Sugar.

Suck it Corinne!

pretty good year:

I've actually been enjoying this season. Has it been full of likable people? No. But even if the Kota alliance had made it the end (as they were poised to do), it would have been just as unlikable, since those people had some SERIOUS superiority problems. They just cast a pretty unlikable cast (reminds me of Thailand, almost), but unlike Thailand, things have been more strategically interesting.

The Fang 5 have all pretty much played well. Yes, they got lucky in both tribal swaps, but that's how the game goes sometimes. If Marcus had kept Corinne and Randy in tow and not let them treat Susie like dirt, maybe she wouldn't have flipped. Better yet, if he had just done the logical thing and targeted Susie after the swap (instead of Crystal's main ally, Ken) then Crystal likely would have gone along with it and taken the sixth spot in the Kota alliance.

soapboxx:

Agree. The Kota should have been nice to Susie until they no longer needed her vote. I'm very glad the misfits are in control. I don't understand Ken's vote. Is it possible he doesn't understand exactly how a hidden idol works? I really love Bob and I never would have guessed I'd like Sugar after her opening sequence of Ace worship. I still like Susie Kenny and Crystal. I think Matty is going to regret his over emotional marriage proposal. No one should ever be allowed to propose marriage, divorce, or write out a will, or adopt an orphan while in the middle of a 39 day starving African stank fest. I'm so glad Corrinne is gone. I would have had to pull an Elvis and shoot my TV if Corrinne had won the million. (I would have shot my Sony Watchman because it won't be any good after Feb 17 anyway). Maybe I'll go ahead and microwave it for fun and post it on youtube.....

soft flesh:

The real reason that Sugar hasn't been voted off is because people think she is dumb and harmless. At least that's what I think. C'mon, Corrine called her a 'moron', then again what does corrine's 'perspective' mean althogether, and randy constantly condescended to Sugar too. It's obvious that players that were kicked out, did not fully realize that Kenny and Sugar were underrated threats.

By the way, I don't find Crystal nearly as annoying as Corrine or Randy. I know that you, Schoonie, hate her, but it's not like she ever stated she'd like to stab someone( like Corrine), or called people mutants or morons or equally gross and childish names. Yes, I know Corrine is an attention hog clearly, yet something about her conduct is taking the game too far! While Crystal is loud and grumpy, clearly her bark is louder than her bite. No pun intended. Anyhoo, I think Crystal is annoying but in a harmless, melodramatic way. I don't think she can even compare to the likes of Randy the tyrannt or Corrine, aka Carrie Jr.,whose best days are spent comiserating on her flailing mental state, but maybe it's just me . . .

Also, totally off topic, do people REALLY find corrine attractive? I mean, she is slim and all but that's where the 30 days of starvation come into play. Sugar on the other hand is very pretty and youthful. What do you think?

itchy:

I think they're both attractive in their own way (although, from Sugar's audition tape where she has all her piercings in, I wouldn't even look once at her).

Funny thing, if you watch the Ponderosa videos with Corinne, they show her laughing and playing around and having a good time --the softer, gentler Corinne, if you will-- you have to figure there was plenty of that during the season that they chose not to show. So I'm willing to believe they just targeted her for the 'evil edit'.

And since I'm not exactly Mr. I-love-the-world-gotta-hug-somebody-right-now myself, I'd probably get along much better with Corinne.

That said, as I said before, she was a lousy gameplayer, as were all those other smug idiots who couldn't figure out how to play the game.

slutty_whore:

I actually enjoy Crystal and I've just come to realize that she and Randy were foils for one another.

suckitbitches:

At first, Ken's vote confused me, but the more I thought about it, the more it made some sense.

Let's pretend that Bob & Corinne did have another true idol. By voting for Matty, Ken's showing some faith in their story and starts to build a tentative alliance with them for later. He could explain that Crystal's vote was to be safe, but his vote was to build a strategic relationship with them. Corinne & Bob would've been all about getting rid of the others first instead of Ken & Crystal.

Makes some strategic sense.

slutty_whore:

Suckitbitches... that makes sense, however, I think that Ken was trying to swtich the game for the sake of a game switch, not really for the sake of good quality game play. He can't blame Bob for trying to force Matty out of the game (like he also wanted) and ruining his game play. I believe that Ken just cost himself the million, if Matty can realize what had happened.

realityjunkie:

Didn't all these people see the real hidden idol when they first found it at that feast before it got chucked in the ocean? Shouldn't somebody have noticed that the fake looked nothing like the real idol that Bob and Corinne claimed that it was

baymenxpac:

shelley, i'm going to assume you ARE corinne. that would be the only explanation for watching this season with an objective eye and actually become partial to that woman. she's ridiculous. if she is going to talk the "i'm smarter than everyone" game, she should be able to walk to the walk. her and her "smart" alliance had plenty of opportunities to avoid what happened to them.

-they could have thrown the challenge before marcus got eliminated in order to save him and use the numbers advantage they had at the time.

-marcus could have easily suggested they vote out susie instead of trying to get out kenny, which crystal would have jumped at desperately. it was only when he suggested ditching her closest ally did crystal realize they should try and flip susie.

and finally:
-they could, ya know, win something individually. if you look how the game started to how the individual immunity challenges evolved, the old fang has dominated. susie being essentially the only one who can build a fire, matty balancing the polls, kenny winning the maze (when corinne had a freakin' bye to the finals!).

corinne = HATE!

ps the description of matty's proposal was amazing.

gsensel:

This maybe in comments above but the whole Matty proposal thing seems at least reenacted to me. He is doing a crappy job at "crying" and being happy. Peggy Scoffing at Nobag gives you rights for at least 1 more joke about it as well.

pixielated:

To me, Corinne goes over the line by going beyond the game with her threats. Like saying, "I want to stab her in the eye" (which is a pretty deranged thing to say about someone you barely know--besides, what has Susie done that is so bad?) or "I hope they have terrible lives." I have no problem with someone insulting someone or making threats or predictions within the game, but hers just went too far.

Why does Sugar think everybody she doesn't like is an alcoholic? First Randy, now Corinne. How would you know out there in the bush? Did they throw elbows to get to the beer and wine and then suck it all down? And is Corinne really a homewrecker? Hmmm. Sugar and Corinne may not be all that different, except Sugar is a lot smarter and doesn't underestimate her opponents.

slutty_whore:

Check out the interview with Corinne on Reality Blurred. From there, one can deduce who goes home next.

cattyfan:

I like Sugar and Bob...and hope they make it to the end. Kenny screwed himself last week, and Crystal has been coasting. Matty and Susie kind of bore me.

No one has commented yet on Sugar's necklace...which I love. For those of you who aren't familiar with vinyl records, her pendant is the gold version of the adapter to play a 45 on a stereo. At least that's what it looks like. If that ISN'T what it is, then I like it less...LOL

soapboxx:

cattyfan:
That's what I thought her necklace looks like too. I guess it makes sense because she's a 50's pin up model?

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