Tonight, on Survivor: it's two episodes in one! Also, people finally figure out that it might be a good thing to get rid of Russell at some point.
I should mention that there is material in the previouslies that we've never seen before, which makes them less "previouslies" and more "here is some information to make this episode make sense". I guess Russell told Mick that he made 1.7 million dollars last year at some point, but we're seeing it for the first time. And hey, if you would like to know any additional information about Russell, feel free to ask our commenters, because they have been stalking him with the zeal of a thousand Single White Females. They left a cigarette butt under my windshield wiper yesterday morning, and now I'm scared.
It's night 30 after John's boot, and Shambo is predictably pretty upset. Russell does some excellent damage control, however: he makes the genius move of lying to Shambo and telling her that John was trying to get rid of her, so they voted him out without telling her, which allows her to keep her word to him. Genius.
Here's the thing about Russell: he's obviously an excellent strategist, and phenomenal at this game, as is evidenced his control of Shambo right here. But if the damn show weren't so adamant about giving him credit for everything that happens, including things that he has nothing whatsoever to do with, I would be much more inclined to appreciate what the guy does. If he (and the show) would just shut their collective face holes and let his actions speak for themselves, I would probably think he was rad. But as it stands now, I find it very difficult to give him credit, because it only reinforces this behavior. And that is why I will not be able to enjoy his inevitable win, despite the fact that I usually root for the person who is the best strategist. So thanks, show.
Shambo buys it hook, like and sinker because she is Shambo. It also helps that, if you squint, Russell could kind of look like a chicken. I wonder if Shambo wears contacts? It would be hilarious if she thought she was aligned with a talking chicken this whole time.
The next morning, Jaison approaches Brett (WHO?) and Monica, who joke that they are talking about "how to handle being voted off". Jaison begins to ask them what they'll be basing their jury votes on, which seems a little presumptuous and kind of an assholish thing to do.
Monica and Brett tell him that Russell is a huge threat to Jaison's potential victory, and Jaison begins lobbying for votes by telling them that while Russell has been out in the open about it, Jaison's been the one making the decisions behind the scenes. There are a host of things wrong with what's going on here, and I can't think of a single reason why this is advisable to do to people who are still in the game. When they ask him about Russell's immunity idol (which is apparently common knowledge), Jaison tells them that he'll just have to wait until Day 36 and do something about it. Jaison also takes this opportunity to point out that Russell doesn't even need the money, revealing that he told Mick that he made almost two million dollars last year. You think people who are already being worked for jury votes will be keeping that little betrayal secret?
Immunity Challenge! That's right, we're getting a double boot today, but we're essentially going to be getting two different half-hour episodes. Today's challenge is a take on the always-riveting sport of bowling. The eight remaining players will essentially having a single elimination tournament; highest score moves on until a winner is crowned.
The first round is Natalie versus Shambo. When Shambo's turn rolls around (GET IT?) she's like "This one goes out to all my bowling league friends!" I am sure you are shocked at the revelation that Shambo rolls with a bowling league crowd. Next up on the slate of big reveals: she's seen Cinderella in concert over twenty-six times.
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Comments (31)
pretty sure there WAS an episode where we saw Russell tell Mick about his job/money.
1 of 31 | Posted by heygirl | Posted on December 14, 2009 10:26 PM
Was it new footage during the recap episode? Because that shit does not count, mostly because I did not watch it.
2 of 31 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on December 14, 2009 10:40 PM
It was in the recap episode that aired on Thanksgiving.
I agree that they need to get Invisibrett out of there asap. I don't want to see him slide in under the radar and sweep a victory away with all the Galus on the jury.
Natalie FTW!!
3 of 31 | Posted by 2muchBravo | Posted on December 14, 2009 10:41 PM
i cannot take this review seriously if you can't even take note of how terrifyingly creepy and manic monicunt was at tribal. oh god i am so glad she's gone. stupid transparent girl was a coattail rider and deserves zero credit. bitch thinks she painted a target on russell, FUCK, everyone's been gunning for him since at least the merge. and just cause you hate russell that doesn't mean that everything someone says against him is right. it must take a great amt of haterade for anyone to side with moniclueless. as for the argument about his remaining bc of idols, the idol was only significant in blindsiding kelly...the other time it was wasted (tho that's a debatable point) and now he's using it brilliantly in a game of russian roulette. stop making stupid excuses for hating russell and jump on the bandwagon, i promise there's still room!
4 of 31 | Posted by goopber | Posted on December 14, 2009 10:46 PM
I'm glad you brought up JT and Stephen, Schoonie, because THAT's the way the game is played.
It's becoming pretty obvious that the rest of these people have had Russell figured out for a long while, and the only reason they're keeping him (and NOT 'gunning' for him) is because he really is a threat to no one.
It's just that the editors haven't been showing us any of that.
NOTHING he does is strategic. And what little strategy he does have is always completely undone by his extraordinary need for approval -- the guy can't keep his mouth shut.
So I can only assume that Mick and Jaison have been whispering together, and they had their reasons for not bothering to vote him out this time.
Although they missed a chance of making an ally of Monica. She would have secured them a spot in the final three -- there's no way they'll get there with the others. And she seemed to be the only person with a brain left. She was great at tribal council-- basically teaching the others how easy it is to manipulate that little troll.
But I'm assuming also that the rest of the crew have been laughing at Russell behind his back for a while. He's probably as self-deluded as Rambo. In that case, if anyone's riding coattails, it's him.
And think about it for a second: a lot of you were offended and up-in-arms about his lie about being a Katrina victim AND a fireman. But when he told the others that he was a millionaire owner of an oil company in Texas he basically exposed that lie too. So imagine what these people are REALLY thinking about him.
As for the 'genious' of lying to one as functionally challenged as Shambo? Well, if I ran a footrace with someone with no legs, I'd probably look pretty fast too.
Anyway, Russell's not a bandnwagon, he's a trainwreck. Time to lay off the koolaid, people!
Face it -- the Survivor editors are notorious for their total reliance on the red herring for any kind of suspense. At this point, there's no way in hell Russell will win.
Hell, the fact that Probst is playing into Russell's supposed awesomeness at Tribal Council (where he's not supposed to be fully aware of what's going on at camp) tells you that they started planning Russell's storyline way before they finished filming.
Can't wait for this season to end. I've said it before, I'll say it again: I don't hate Russell, I hate how the producers are using his character to obscure all of the other players and make this a one-man show.
But I'll make a deal -- if Russell can survive on the All-stars season(where presumably he'll be up against decent players), I'll be a little less hard on him. Just a little.
Nothing will change my mind that he's a douchebag and a bully, of course. There are too many creeps like him in the world. When did it become okay to be this kind of an asshole?
5 of 31 | Posted by itchy | Posted on December 14, 2009 11:59 PM
Schoonie:
If the comment by Russell to Jaison/Mick about Russell owning an oil company was only in the "recap" show - that is TERRIBLE editing by the producers. That was signficant enough to be in the regular show, not the Thanksgiving "let-throw-some-highlights-together-because-we-know-no-one-is-watching" show.
And if Russell lasted past the first tribal council on an all-stars show, I would be surprised. Of course, I still hope that the producers do an all-stars made up entirely of the most self-deluded players.
6 of 31 | Posted by channel dasher | Posted on December 15, 2009 12:37 AM
This is the worst edited Survivor since the series began. I still know so little about Mick, Brett, Natalie, etc how can the editors be so clueless. I know reality shows "need" a villain like Russell to keep the public interested but to use it to the exclusion of every other person is just boring and predictable. Are the other castawys just to boring in their diaries? I just find that hard to believe. I hope the final three are Mick, Natalie, and Jaison. I like all three and would take any for the win. If Foa Foa's plan all along is to get to final four and then fight it out, that would be pretty awesome if it happens. Thanks for the recap Schoonie, it must be difficult to constantly have to dish on the All Russell Show.
7 of 31 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on December 15, 2009 1:20 AM
Itchy: Love you, man. I agree with everything you just said.
Dude up there who went off on some lame rant: I'd take you more seriously if the only capital letters in your entire comment weren't FUCK. Use the shift button. It is your friend.
8 of 31 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on December 15, 2009 3:59 AM
I agree that the editing has been really bad this season.
I don't agree with the russell hating. I think that he has been a great player.
I agree that if he does lose this thing he has only himself to blame for running his big mouth. He has played an exceptional game except fo rthe fact that he can't stop running his mouth. Why let people in on the lies tht you have told? especially when everyone seems to be buying them!
I also agree that he most likely will not win, because the one that play this hard and this good rarely do.
I think that his only shot at winning this thing is to convince Brett that his best shot is to go up against him (Russ) in the final two, so he can vote off mick, and jason, leaving a final four of Russ, Brett Nat and Shambo.
Then if he can pull out an immunity win and get rid of Brett he can win it all. If brett gets to the final two with an mostly Galu jury I think that he will win.
9 of 31 | Posted by v_cap | Posted on December 15, 2009 7:27 AM
Monica catapulted herself to one of my favorite castaways ever by using the word scintilla in tribal council. I love me a hot chick with a strong vocabulary.
And yes - Russell and Mick had a 'heart to heart' on the recap show, where they told each other what they did for a living. Judging by the fact that Russ didn't seem surprised that Natalie OR Jaison knew that little tidbit of information, I can only assume the little troll couldn't help but blabber all about his bank account to anyone who was within earshot. Kind of like how he trotted out the damn idol to anything with eyeballs.
Schoonie - if you have access to the recap show, you'd be interested to watch it. In one scene, Gollum actually gets up while everyone is still sleeping, and puts the idol on - like his precious - and practically dances around them all... Until Dave wakes up and they have a chat. The entire time he's got the damn thing hanging around his neck.
10 of 31 | Posted by Damian | Posted on December 15, 2009 7:34 AM
Except for the part where she pronounced it "skin-tilla". Vocabulary FAIL.
11 of 31 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on December 15, 2009 7:36 AM
Personally, I found Monica to be quite skintillating.
12 of 31 | Posted by itchy | Posted on December 15, 2009 8:06 AM
I love the first picture of Russell. Has he lost, at least, 50 pounds? He looks so different from the start of the show.
Hey, I only Googled Russell because of Itchy. It’s Itchy’s fault. Itchy is the one obsessed with Russell not me.
I thought Monica did a great job her last day on the island. What was it? Day 31? Unfortunately, for the first 30 days she did NOTHING and that’s why “the little bitch” went home. I would add her to the list of people that Russell has gotten rid of. (Shambo is responsible for Dave.)
Best line in your recap: "I am obviously not scared! This is my "everything is fine" face." (abruptly shits pants)"
Thanks for doing these recaps Schoonie. I really enjoy reading them and next time I flick my cigarette I'll make sure I'm not standing next to your vehicle. :p
13 of 31 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on December 15, 2009 8:27 AM
She may have had a big vocabulary but Monica was as dumb as a box of rocks. She had zero strategy and was only scrambling at the last minute. Her lying/acting skills were terrible and her personality sucked. I'm glad she is gone.
Schoonie, you have to watch the recap show if only to hear Shambo talk about Laura - "Don't make me throw up on your face" (the best line of the season, IMO).
And itchy: "When did it become okay to be this kind of an asshole?" Didn't you watch Top Chef this season?
14 of 31 | Posted by zerocool | Posted on December 15, 2009 8:35 AM
Are you guys sure you didn't mean "titillating"? KIDDING!
Schoonie, I want to thank you, because "(abruptly shits pants)" in that Russell picture caption nearly made me do the same.
I don't know enough about this game to be able to call it whether Russell is a good player or not (this is my very first season watching) but I do know it's more fun to watch crazy than it is to watch boring, and he (and Shambo) bring the crazy every time.
Is it just me, or does anyone else pick up on the phantom smell of feet every time Shambo puts on her black over-the-calf old men's socks? Blech.
Great recap, Schoonie, you are one of my heroes.
love, J-Mo :)
15 of 31 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on December 15, 2009 8:40 AM
schoonie, schoonie, schoonie..
Either pronunciation is acceptable. The latin (she is a law student after all) pronunciation is 'skintilla'
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/scintilla
16 of 31 | Posted by Damian | Posted on December 15, 2009 8:49 AM
I'm sadly going to bite on this, because I know you guys love to prove me wrong. The internet is for nothing if not to argue about useless minutiae, right?
I call bullshit on the "skintilla" pronunciation. "Derived from Latin" and "Pronounced in Latin as" are two different things, and that dictionary entry is clearly talking about the latter. Given that Monica was not speaking Latin on Thursday, I'm going to retain my position that she is mispronouncing the word. Dictionary dot com (which is actually Miriam-Webster and not the user-edited wiki you quoted)backs me up.
17 of 31 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on December 15, 2009 9:10 AM
Now, now, Mr. D. That wasn't me holding the gun to your head forcing you to search on Russell.
And I don't appreciate being included in one of your fantasy scenarios.
Seriously, take responsibility for your own actions. ;-p
I have no problems with Schoonie poking fun at me on this one--hell, trash-talking Russell is all part of the fun of Survivor for me this season-- although that wasn't my butt on his windshield either, just in case anyone's wond'rin...
18 of 31 | Posted by itchy | Posted on December 15, 2009 9:21 AM
Oh, just finished reading the other comments...
Nope, never watched Top Chef. I guess that's warning.
I have to admit, I'm pretty sure I've heard people pronounce it as 'skintilla' before, but then, I went to the U of Chicago, tons of Latin geeks wandering around there. I've always held the pronunciation to be 'sin-tilla' but I daresay I can't imagine ever speaking that word aloud....Maybe that's the way they say it in jolly ol' England?
As for Monica's being a good or bad strategist...how the fuck would anyone know that? It's not like they're showing what anyone other than Russell has been up to.
But the rare times that they have indeed shown Monica working an angle she has always been right--it's just that she wasn't able to convince the other idiots of this.
In fact, that's about the only reason why I finally singled her out as a player I liked enough to care about, since in terms of strategy, she's the ONLY one (other than Russell, who's more like a hamster spinning a wheel) who seemed to be working.
Weird, the women-hate this season's bringing out. It's not like she's on the Bad Girls Club. Sheesh.
19 of 31 | Posted by itchy | Posted on December 15, 2009 9:32 AM
Where was THIS Monica all season? She was actually scheming this episode, not to mention awesome at tribal council. Oh how I enjoyed that scene!
Boy, she sure had Russell running scared this week.
Thanks for the quick recap, Schoonie.
People have mentioned the "(abruptly shits pants)" comment, so I'll pick another favorite -
"Shambo buys it hook, like and sinker because she is Shambo. It also helps that, if you squint, Russell could kind of look like a chicken. I wonder if Shambo wears contacts? It would be hilarious if she thought she was aligned with a talking chicken this whole time."
haha hilarious!
20 of 31 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on December 15, 2009 9:40 AM
itchy - I'm pro-woman, as long as Shambo counts as a woman.
Maybe it's better to say I'm with J-Mo, label me "pro-crazy".
21 of 31 | Posted by zerocool | Posted on December 15, 2009 10:26 AM
Yeah, this season's entire recap episode consisted of new footage including a scene between Shambo and Laura which sheds some light on why Shambo despises her so much.
22 of 31 | Posted by See-Jay | Posted on December 15, 2009 11:25 AM
The "alligned with a talking chicken" comment did me in.
Schoonie...you're far better than this show deserves.
23 of 31 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on December 15, 2009 11:32 AM
Dammit. You've seen through me. At least her context was right. Do want.
24 of 31 | Posted by Damian | Posted on December 15, 2009 11:42 AM
Itchy, your "Russell manifesto" above leads me to believe you might be a "little" obsessed with Russell. :) [said with love & kisses]
I googled Russell only to help you. (Your welcome.):)
[said with love & kisses]
Okay, peeps this is winding down to one fantastic finish and I'm rooting for any FF to win. I'm so glad all those smug Galus have been sent packing to the Ponderosa. :)
Now, if they can just get rid of Brett? (Two arrows guy.)
25 of 31 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on December 15, 2009 12:31 PM
Naw, I just touch-type. Best thing I ever learned. ;-D
26 of 31 | Posted by itchy | Posted on December 15, 2009 1:52 PM
Mr.D:
You and Russell should go on the Amazing race together, it would be better than team Oreo, I just don't know which one of you would end up the screaming bitch![said with love & kisses] LOL
I agree any FF for the win.
27 of 31 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on December 15, 2009 6:42 PM
I HATED Russell at first, but he is truly playing the game. And, unfortunately, he's the only one really playing this season.
So, Monica thinks Russell's doing well and "playing hard" ONLY because of the idols? Well, Russell is the first survivor in history to actually look for the idols as soon as he got to camp, and then finding 3 of them over the course of this season (so far) mostly without clues? Heck yah he's he's doing well because of the idols! Finding the idols were part of his STRATEGY. Watching Monica at Tribal just pissed me off. She was so smug and snarky. Not in a good, wow-i-love-survivor way, just an annoying, bitchy way. Oh well, she's gone. No tears.
Does Russell self-destruct and yap too much because of his fragile ego? Yes. He's not a perfect player. But he's got the most game of anyone on this show. I'd rather root for any other player, but I have to give Russ props. His plan keeps working. Now, if only the jury can get over their hate... we'll see. If you won this game based on strategy or performance, Russell would walk away with the prise.
28 of 31 | Posted by sillygrrl | Posted on December 15, 2009 10:20 PM
That was funny SOAPBOX.
It made me laugh.
I'm sure I would call Mr. Hantz a bitch first but then I would have to take off running because he would want to kick my butt and I'm pretty sure he could take me in a street fight.
29 of 31 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on December 16, 2009 10:37 AM
I feel like I missed something with the google search--will I have to do one myself!!!
I don't feel qualified to quantify this season's awesomeness or lameness in comparison to other seasons, but I am enjoying it immensely!!!
I thought Monica was a little over the top, but her later interviews make me think she's pretty cool. Dave was a freak in the one I heard on EW--soooooo clueless . . . and that hair . . . I don't think he ever got over his love of my little pony and has to brush his mane and rock back and forth nightly.
Schoonie, you nailed it with Probst crediting Russ for Monica's shake up--I guess it is wonk editing, but like I said, I'm liking it!
If I had to pick, I'd say Natalie FTW--someone said Invisible Brett cannot win, because of his edit, but he's like one immunity challenge away from it . . . However it shakes out, I hope it stays awesome.
Also loved the chicken analogy, but I was surprised Mr. D hasn't said, Don't you mean rooster or cock!
ugh . . .
30 of 31 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 16, 2009 12:02 PM
Ask me about my experience with naked Quadratic Equations next time we're at a cocktail party together
Okay, so when's the party, Schoonster? I cannot wait to hear this one!
LOL on yet another highlarious recap. You rawk!
31 of 31 | Posted by zbird | Posted on December 16, 2009 5:23 PM