Tribal Council! Jeff begins by asking Dan what he thinks about the tribe's performance. When Dan says that he thinks they did okay, Jeff is completely incredulous, calling it a "disaster". Michelle tells everyone that they were lazy, specifically calling out GC for digging with one hand. The whole thing devolves into a shouting match as Jeff sits by and shakes his head judgmentally, reveling in the chaos he has created. Once Gillian points out that no one wants to step up and take the leadership position, Jeff refuses to continue with the proceedings until someone volunteers. That's kind of an asshole move, Jeff. Every season, he inserts himself a bit more into the proceedings. Soon he's going to be camping out with them. At least it will be easier to date the female contestants that way. Zing! After much hemming and hawing, GC eventually, sort of, halfway volunteers to do it. Jeff is all "Congratulations! You have a leader! We have accomplished something today!" What is this, therapy?
Time to vote! We see Gillian vote for Michelle and Michelle vote for Gillian. When the votes are read, theirs are the first two out of the urn, and then all the rest are for Michelle, and she is the first person voted out. She doesn't even get any final words. Damn! That's harsh. However, there is a bright side. Jeff tells them that they can take their torches back to camp, so they'll have fire and can eat and everything, which causes them to celebrate like they're being released from prison.
Back at camp, Fang prepares to light the fire, giving GC the honors. Randy, hilariously: "Just so you know, if you mess this up, we WILL vote you out." Ha! GC tells us in night-vision that he's a little bit nervous about having the leadership position thrust upon him. Dude, you volunteered. Suit up, yo. He doesn't say that it's Jeff's fault, but it totally is. Damn you and your dimples, Probst!
Over at Kota, it's the morning of Day 4 and people are going about their chores, including Marcus, who seems to be cooking or something. This means that it's time for Charlie to tell us how wonderful he is. "I don't understand why a million girls aren't jumping all over him" he says. Could it be because they don't want to come off as increasingly desperate? Clearly, you don't seem to have that issue.
Charlie and Marcus head off in the kayak to have a strategic conversation, which begins with Charlie declaring his undying love. On Day 4. In a kayak. "When you go off, I get this like, panic" he tells Marcus without a hint of embarrassment. Marcus sits silently and wonders how long it takes to get a restraining order in the Gabon court system.
Marcus tells us that he's working on an alliance, which he looks at like layers of an onion. Charlie is his inner layer, and they need to start working on creating other layers, the next of which they believe to be Jacquie and Corinne. They agree to broach the idea sometime later that day. Afterwards, Charlie will smell Marcus' hair and then slip a note into his locker.
Over at Fang, GC is giving out orders to people like they are serfs and they are in indentured servitude to him. Wow, he really does not get it. When people say they need a leader, they don't mean that they want you to issue individual orders. Micromanager! Get him!
GC and Randy are down at the river collecting water, where GC tells Randy (whose job it apparently is to prepare the food) that he would like to prepare it instead. Randy doesn't seem to have a problem with that, but GC wants to reboil clean water (water needs to be boiled to make rice with), which is like doing the work twice. Randy tries to explain this to GC, but he refuses to listen, which is always the hallmark of a good leader. That's why President Bush is always so on top of things; because he listens, people.
Randy tells us that he thinks GC doesn't know anything about leading, but he's not going to do anything because this is the beginning of "Operation: Let Other People Crash and Burn". I mean, it's self explanatory and everything, but you couldn't come up with a better sounding title? "Operation: Wolfkill" or "Operation: Machete Penguin" or something would have been badass.
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Comments (17)
Thanks Schoon! This line cracked me up:
And that is the story of how the guy who had a lobotomy in the first episode is the best at reading people.
I also loved the photo caption:
Come on, I know curling medalists who would do better at this than you.
This may annoy you, but I have picked Ace before I even saw the first episode to win the whole thing. I like to read the bios and make wacky decisions based on not so much.
Charlie's Crazy Crush is kinda creepy. And can someone please tell Dan to lose the tie? Seeing a tie at tribal council on a dirty nasty shirt is disconcerting. Like you, I was SO GLAD to see Gillian ousted. She was making my brain hurt. The first girl out wasn't too horrible, but she was already so skinny, she probably would have died in two weeks.
Thanks for the recap!
1 of 17 | Posted by geewits | Posted on September 28, 2008 2:49 AM
Hilarious! You really know your Survivor. I enjoyed all the little mentions to previous seasons throughout the recap. Aside from that, I really hope that this season shapes up to be a good one.
PS - Yes, Charlie may be a little creepy, but I find him hilarious. Deal! :)
2 of 17 | Posted by squeedunk | Posted on September 28, 2008 5:26 AM
I really hate it when one of the tribes is so obviously outgunned right at the get-go...takes all the fun out of it. Also because I inevitably feel compelled to root for the underdog, and so far this crew just doesn't have me feeling all rooty-tooty.
This is the first time watching Survivor in real-time, usually I just collect all the episodes and watch them when the season's already done. But I've become such a recap-addict that I can't help myself...Go get 'em Schoon!
Right now I like Bowtie Bob...he seems crafty enough.
3 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 28, 2008 10:44 AM
I'm with Itchy. I'm rooting for Bowtie.
I'm still so shocked that they got rid of that bitchy girl first before Gillian. She seemed more than capable. just nuts.
was reading dlisted earlier and it has a post of Marcus running with something something peeking out that CBS didnt' get to censor. LOL.
Looking forward to this season and the accompanying recaps. =D
4 of 17 | Posted by chibby | Posted on September 28, 2008 11:39 AM
I've been reading your recaps for a long time and was finally compelled to leave a comment about the "I'm a lemur!" caption. I laughed helplessly for 5 minutes and eventually had to scroll the page down past the picture in order to read on beause every time I look at it, the giggles started over again. Thanks!
5 of 17 | Posted by Mojo | Posted on September 28, 2008 11:57 AM
I don’t think you will ever top “Encyclopedia Pooptanica”, but I look forward to seeing you try LOL
I’m certain Charlie is very excited about being designated Marcus’s “inner layer.” But I agree…Charlie’s insta-crush creeps me out.
I wonder how Lemur Boy will feel when he’s sees the video for himself.
I like seeing the tie at, Tribal, though. Lends the proceedings an air of…oh, who am I kidding. Never mind.
One last thing…according to “Sugar’s” resume’, she apparently was on “Gilmore Girls.”
6 of 17 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on September 28, 2008 12:04 PM
This caption had me laughing out loud: "Operation: Medulla Oblongata was a complete success". :-)
It must just be something about guys named Dan on reality shows this go round. They all rock! ;-)
7 of 17 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on September 28, 2008 1:03 PM
Schoonie - it's THONG not FONG! :-)
8 of 17 | Posted by krut | Posted on September 28, 2008 2:56 PM
The Lemur comment with the photo of Randy made me laugh out loud. THAT WAS FUNNY.
Charlie really needs to take it down a notch regarding Marcus cause Marcus isn't that handsome. Charlie needs to get some eye glasses when he gets back to Manhattan.
On the other hand, that Dan...D-A-D-D-Y. I want to be Dan's inner layer.
PMS girl and the old lady - I'm not missing either one of them.
I'm on team RANDY at this point only because of his CBS bio. How can I not like somebody so angry and bitter?
9 of 17 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on September 29, 2008 7:44 AM
Can't believe you didn't mention how completely obnoxious, even by Gillian standards, Gillian was during the first immunity challenge when even Probst told her to give it a rest with the fanatical cheering. Good thing Randy had that lobotomy or he might have killed her with his bare hands right there.
10 of 17 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on September 29, 2008 7:52 AM
I just wanted to say... I've never seen "kumquat" spelled the dirty way before... I liiiiike it! *giggle*
I have never watched this show (I know, it's shocking, especially for us gays because of Richard Hatch and all, but really he's not a reason to watch anything but prison rape these days) but thank you for helping me follow the episode, that was super-kind of you.
Great work, and I love you for giving me my new favorite fruit... the cumquat... *giggle*
love, J-Mo :)
11 of 17 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 29, 2008 9:17 AM
OMG, here I was thinking "The Renegades" was a dorky name for an alliance and then comes "The Onion Alliance".
Still chuckling,
Mrs C
12 of 17 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 29, 2008 9:43 AM
Both spellings are correct! Wikipedia says so, and we all know Wikipedia is never wrong.
13 of 17 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on September 29, 2008 11:18 AM
First, let me say right off the bat - Crystal, SHUT UP. All of your "its on like Donkey Kong" sayings are making you look like a total idiot cause you aint done a DAYUM thang.
Second - I HEART Ken. The way he tripped over his own feet while walking with Skinny Girl, and him dropping the writing pen - hilarious. Ken for the win!
14 of 17 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on September 29, 2008 1:17 PM
LOL lexxi !!! I can't remember anyone ever dropping the pen before either unless they edited that out. Which they really shouldn't do. Cause if I were ever on Survivor, that'd be me, praying up there, "oh please don't let me do something stoopid like drop the pen!"
15 of 17 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 29, 2008 1:49 PM
schoonie, Yes, I checked it there, too, and that's how I learned my new "word of the day"... I had just never seen it spelled that way before, which is why I love it all the more now, and you for bringing it to my semi-addled attention... Trust! It's a positive comment!
love, J-Mo :)
Now I want to go see "Harold and Cumar go to White Castle"...
16 of 17 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 29, 2008 3:09 PM
Sorry, didn't mean to get all defensive! I have a spelling fetish.
17 of 17 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on September 29, 2008 3:34 PM