Meanwhile, Dan is on his way to Exile Island, which is actually Exile Plains this year. Dan tells us what we already knew, which is that it's idiotic to send a strong person to Exile Island where they could potentially find something that would make them even stronger. When he arrives, he is faced with a choice: he can have a clue to the location of the immunity idol, or he can have a roof over his head and a small snack. Given that he's not an idiot, he chooses the clue, which tells him to find some sort of Sandy Crater and dig. An aerial helicopter shot helpfully zooms us over to the aforementioned crater, which is up a hill and through a large patch of trees, probably a good half-mile from the base camp and hard to see. Not easy to find, in an expanse this large. We are then treated to a montage of Dan digging all over the area as a sense of despair washes over him, until he finally sort of gives up and goes back to collapse on the dock.
Over at Camp Fang, they work hard to convince themselves that they didn't suck, which is sort of becoming their thing after challenges. Maybe I should get that sentence to Shift + F1 early this year and save myself some time. Crystal, Ken and Matty sit on the dock and discuss the coming vote. Their consensus is that Gillian is a drag on the tribe and needs to be dismissed. I agree that she needs to be dismissed, but it's because she's a drag on my sanity.
In a different part of camp, Gillian talks to Susie in an effort to save her own ass. She attempts to make her paranoid by putting the idea in her head that she'll go next if they vote Gillian out. She floats the idea of voting out Ken, who she says "wasn't pulling his weight" even though he was up on the boulder, untying the keys while she was running alongside. It's extremely hypocritical of her to single him out just because he's skinny, which is what she's doing. HATE!
Randy is hungry, and he would like to do something constructive in order to solve that problem. Despite the Hawaiian shirt, I am beginning to like him, with his snarky commentary and initiative. He takes his glasses off and starts ripping them apart with the machete, twisting a small metal part from what I believe is the bridge and forming a makeshift fish hook. Other tribe members go and get some worms, and GC's shoelaces serve as a fishing line, making it a group project. After quite a bit of effort, Fang has some small fish to enjoy for the evening. Hey, it's not much, but it's definitely something, and you have to respect the fact that they did it all without proper tools. Question: Are the formerly homeless more resourceful because they've been homeless, or are they less resourceful because...they've been homeless? These quandries, they boggle the mind.
Dan returns from Exile, telling the other tribe members how terrible it was, and also how they need to think a little more strategically when they send people. In fact, Dan talks for so long about how terrible it was that everyone gets sort of suspicious. Even though he's being genuine and he's just kind of dorky, they think he's overselling, making them believe they he may have the idol. Everyone except Randy seems to be convinced. Randy gets the proper read, trying to keep them from voting him out for no reason by telling the rest of the tribe that he's just a genuine guy. And that is the story of how the guy who had a lobotomy in the first episode is the best at reading people.
Tribal Council! GC owns up to the fact that he quit the leadership position during Jeff's initial questioning. Jeff seems incredulous, because Jeff has two modes: adoring of the muscular, and incredulous. In an attempt to absolve himself of responsibility, GC tries to blame everyone else for refusing to stand up and lead. You see, it's not that he did it, it's that you didn't do it. Flawless logic, that.
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Comments (17)
Thanks Schoon! This line cracked me up:
And that is the story of how the guy who had a lobotomy in the first episode is the best at reading people.
I also loved the photo caption:
Come on, I know curling medalists who would do better at this than you.
This may annoy you, but I have picked Ace before I even saw the first episode to win the whole thing. I like to read the bios and make wacky decisions based on not so much.
Charlie's Crazy Crush is kinda creepy. And can someone please tell Dan to lose the tie? Seeing a tie at tribal council on a dirty nasty shirt is disconcerting. Like you, I was SO GLAD to see Gillian ousted. She was making my brain hurt. The first girl out wasn't too horrible, but she was already so skinny, she probably would have died in two weeks.
Thanks for the recap!
1 of 17 | Posted by geewits | Posted on September 28, 2008 2:49 AM
Hilarious! You really know your Survivor. I enjoyed all the little mentions to previous seasons throughout the recap. Aside from that, I really hope that this season shapes up to be a good one.
PS - Yes, Charlie may be a little creepy, but I find him hilarious. Deal! :)
2 of 17 | Posted by squeedunk | Posted on September 28, 2008 5:26 AM
I really hate it when one of the tribes is so obviously outgunned right at the get-go...takes all the fun out of it. Also because I inevitably feel compelled to root for the underdog, and so far this crew just doesn't have me feeling all rooty-tooty.
This is the first time watching Survivor in real-time, usually I just collect all the episodes and watch them when the season's already done. But I've become such a recap-addict that I can't help myself...Go get 'em Schoon!
Right now I like Bowtie Bob...he seems crafty enough.
3 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on September 28, 2008 10:44 AM
I'm with Itchy. I'm rooting for Bowtie.
I'm still so shocked that they got rid of that bitchy girl first before Gillian. She seemed more than capable. just nuts.
was reading dlisted earlier and it has a post of Marcus running with something something peeking out that CBS didnt' get to censor. LOL.
Looking forward to this season and the accompanying recaps. =D
4 of 17 | Posted by chibby | Posted on September 28, 2008 11:39 AM
I've been reading your recaps for a long time and was finally compelled to leave a comment about the "I'm a lemur!" caption. I laughed helplessly for 5 minutes and eventually had to scroll the page down past the picture in order to read on beause every time I look at it, the giggles started over again. Thanks!
5 of 17 | Posted by Mojo | Posted on September 28, 2008 11:57 AM
I don’t think you will ever top “Encyclopedia Pooptanica”, but I look forward to seeing you try LOL
I’m certain Charlie is very excited about being designated Marcus’s “inner layer.” But I agree…Charlie’s insta-crush creeps me out.
I wonder how Lemur Boy will feel when he’s sees the video for himself.
I like seeing the tie at, Tribal, though. Lends the proceedings an air of…oh, who am I kidding. Never mind.
One last thing…according to “Sugar’s” resume’, she apparently was on “Gilmore Girls.”
6 of 17 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on September 28, 2008 12:04 PM
This caption had me laughing out loud: "Operation: Medulla Oblongata was a complete success". :-)
It must just be something about guys named Dan on reality shows this go round. They all rock! ;-)
7 of 17 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on September 28, 2008 1:03 PM
Schoonie - it's THONG not FONG! :-)
8 of 17 | Posted by krut | Posted on September 28, 2008 2:56 PM
The Lemur comment with the photo of Randy made me laugh out loud. THAT WAS FUNNY.
Charlie really needs to take it down a notch regarding Marcus cause Marcus isn't that handsome. Charlie needs to get some eye glasses when he gets back to Manhattan.
On the other hand, that Dan...D-A-D-D-Y. I want to be Dan's inner layer.
PMS girl and the old lady - I'm not missing either one of them.
I'm on team RANDY at this point only because of his CBS bio. How can I not like somebody so angry and bitter?
9 of 17 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on September 29, 2008 7:44 AM
Can't believe you didn't mention how completely obnoxious, even by Gillian standards, Gillian was during the first immunity challenge when even Probst told her to give it a rest with the fanatical cheering. Good thing Randy had that lobotomy or he might have killed her with his bare hands right there.
10 of 17 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on September 29, 2008 7:52 AM
I just wanted to say... I've never seen "kumquat" spelled the dirty way before... I liiiiike it! *giggle*
I have never watched this show (I know, it's shocking, especially for us gays because of Richard Hatch and all, but really he's not a reason to watch anything but prison rape these days) but thank you for helping me follow the episode, that was super-kind of you.
Great work, and I love you for giving me my new favorite fruit... the cumquat... *giggle*
love, J-Mo :)
11 of 17 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 29, 2008 9:17 AM
OMG, here I was thinking "The Renegades" was a dorky name for an alliance and then comes "The Onion Alliance".
Still chuckling,
Mrs C
12 of 17 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 29, 2008 9:43 AM
Both spellings are correct! Wikipedia says so, and we all know Wikipedia is never wrong.
13 of 17 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on September 29, 2008 11:18 AM
First, let me say right off the bat - Crystal, SHUT UP. All of your "its on like Donkey Kong" sayings are making you look like a total idiot cause you aint done a DAYUM thang.
Second - I HEART Ken. The way he tripped over his own feet while walking with Skinny Girl, and him dropping the writing pen - hilarious. Ken for the win!
14 of 17 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on September 29, 2008 1:17 PM
LOL lexxi !!! I can't remember anyone ever dropping the pen before either unless they edited that out. Which they really shouldn't do. Cause if I were ever on Survivor, that'd be me, praying up there, "oh please don't let me do something stoopid like drop the pen!"
15 of 17 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on September 29, 2008 1:49 PM
schoonie, Yes, I checked it there, too, and that's how I learned my new "word of the day"... I had just never seen it spelled that way before, which is why I love it all the more now, and you for bringing it to my semi-addled attention... Trust! It's a positive comment!
love, J-Mo :)
Now I want to go see "Harold and Cumar go to White Castle"...
16 of 17 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 29, 2008 3:09 PM
Sorry, didn't mean to get all defensive! I have a spelling fetish.
17 of 17 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on September 29, 2008 3:34 PM