Erik also tells us how alone he feels as the last fan standing on the Malakal tribe. Well Erik, if you feel lonely, I'm sure there are several small animals nesting in your hair to keep you company. Take solace in the fact that your cranium is now a mini-ecosystem.

Back from commercial, we get our first hint that there's maybe not a whole lot to show this episode when we watch Cirie and Ami hunt for crabs for like five minutes, but it's all filmed at a really weird angle with odd sound effects. Look, show, I get enough of this filler crap while I recap Big Brother. I don't need you showing up and boring me to death with your crazy David Lynch-ian crab hunting sequences. This is not Mulholland Drive, and Ami is not Naomi Watts. Although if she were, there would be roughly the same amount of lesbianism.
Cirie and Ami bring back a bunch of crabs, which gives Ozzy the opportunity to complain some more about being labeled the leader. Ami, for some reason, takes this opportunity to declare her loyalty to Ozzy and tell him all about how Tracy tried to start a coup to get him out, and how she loves him and will carve their names in a tree and what have you. Ami is so over the top with this emotional crap all the time (see also: her other season), and it's kind of embarrassing.
Over at Airai beach, everyone is talking about food, while Natalie tells us that she had a dream about nachos. Really? If I hadn't eaten in nineteen days, nachos would not be what I was dreaming about. Nachos aren't even at the top of the appetizer food chain. It goes (in descending order) Chicken Wings, Cheese Sticks, Spinach and Artichoke Dip, Jalapeno Poppers, and then nachos. Jason, meanwhile, is kind of hungry. He spies a rat over under the cave overhand and kills it dead. He will be eating it for lunch. He tells us (quite pleased with himself) that no one has eaten a rat since the first season of the show, so he is glad to be bringing back that tradition. He looks really, really pleased with himself, and I have to say that I do not like Jason very much. He looks like he's always trying a little too hard, and he wants the Favorites to love him so bad. It's like "Look! A rat! Love me, mommy!" all the time, and it's a little sad. Parvati tells us that she thinks he's a total loser too, so it's nice to know that Parvati and I have something in common. I mean, besides the fact that we both look totally badass in a zebra bikini.

Parvati and James do not like the Airai camp very much. They tell us they miss Malakal, where they can run free and graze and whatnot, with their toothiness. James complains about the water, all "Popeye wouldn't even go in there! Jacques Cousteau be like, damn!" Get it? BECAUSE POPEYE'S A SAILOR! And Jacques Cousteau explored the wondrous underwater ecosystem! Oh my god, he's so funny.

Parvati, however, has a plan to get herself to the merge in case anything goes wrong. They haven't had to go to TC since the switch, but crazy stuff has been happening to Airai, and at this point I'd probably plan for at least one tribe member to be taken out of the game when a piano falls from the sky. She goes and grabs Alexis and Natalie and tells them that she'd like to create a final four that includes the three of them and Amanda, with the plan to jettison Ozzy and James when they get a chance. Yeah, I'm not sure you have to worry about James winning, but Ozzy is definitely a problem. Also, Parvati, you're not going to beat anyone except for those two no-names anyway, so your only hope is to stack the jury with Favorites and make this happen.

« The Hills: Warning: Watch Only If Totally Stoned | | American Idol: Top 8, The Future Belong$ to Tho$e Who Believe in the Beauty of Their Dream$ »

Posted in Survivor by Schoonie at 7:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: redhaiku on Apr 18, 2008 08:34 PM.