So, I'm sorry for the late recap on this completely awesome episode of Survivor, but I am part of the recent trend of TVGasm writers who have been moving to new apartments lately and subsequently submitting their recaps late. We're nomads! What can I say, we know no master.
Well, except for this one.
I probably should have asked you guys if you would help me move. Moving in Chicago in December is not fun. Anyway, this episode was awesome and we'll get to that in a second, but the thing is: aren't throwing stars...Japanese? I don't know very many Chinese ninjas. Really, I don't know any ninjas. But if I did, that would be sweet.
The episode starts, as you'll remember, with Probst telling everyone all about how "there is more business to attend to" at Tribal Council. Every looks all nervous, and for the past two weeks my friends and family have been whisper-yelling "WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!?" at me, and I've been all shruggy in response because they wouldn't do a double vote, given that they started with sixteen people, so by process of elimination that means that it's probably something underwhelming and lame. My guess was that Jeff was going to clap and be like, "Let's everybody go around in a circle and say what our favorite thing about James is! Yay, James! Okay, I'll go first: he looks like he gives totally bitchin' piggyback rides. But, like, gentle ones. Who wants to go next?"
But alas, that is not to be. We find out that instead, they're having a reward challenge right there and now for a reward that will allow the winner to take two others to a Shaolin Temple to spend time with the monks and mask in the Asian-ness of their surroundings. Everyone looks relieved that they don't have to do anything unpleasant, except James, who is busy doing that stupid attention-grabby supergesturing that he's been doing at Tribal Council all season. Probst eats it up because he wants to braid James' hair and tell him all his most privatest secrets, so he is all "James, you relieved?" and then he blinks "YOU ARE DREAMY" at him in Morse Code.
SOS, your pecs are Heaven.
So, all the questions are about Chinese culture, and the long and short of it is that Peih-Gee wins. Quizzes: as riveting on television as they were in fifth grade.
Jeff tells Peih-Gee to pick two people. Off camera, he starts madly gesturing and mouthing "James! Pick James! And also, pick me! Then the two of us can spoon!" To her credit, Peih-Gee chooses Erik (which is a no-brainer) and Denise (which is strategically smart, because she's clearly the outlier in that alliance). The next morning, the boat arrives and takes the winners away to a private plane, where they get champagne and the services of a stewardess that you can tell really, really wants to hold her nose anytime she goes near them.
The remaining four left behind (Courtney, James, Todd and Amanda) talk about how they're about to get a day full of relaxation without the others around. Yes, if there's anything that can give me a nice recharge, it's a day spent with Todd, Courtney and James. I hope there are smores! And backrubs! They talk with each other about how this is "basically a nine-day advance sneak preview" of the final four, and how they all hope it ends up like this towards the end.
James (to his credit) knowing that the money is as good as his should this be the case, emphasizes the loyalty and need to stick together, even though no one really needs it but him. He tells us all about how Eve "bit the apple" and if she hadn't then they'd be frolicking naked in Heaven (which is...not how the story goes) and he just wants to "frolic naked as long as possible" and how they just have to make sure that they "don't bite the apple". What's with all the apple analogies coming from this guy? He does not look like a man who enjoys produce. As much as I'd love to start calling him Granny Smith, I'm not sure it's get much use after this recap. (Aw, did I ruin the ending for anyone?)
Hintisies, if you have family dying in Louisiana, you'll totally have someone to bury them by the end of this hour.
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Comments (15)
"Everyone looks relieved that they don't have to do anything unpleasant, except James, who is busy doing that stupid attention-grabby supergesturing that he's been doing at Tribal Council all season."
damn the facial expressions were getting obnoxious... but they're great for screen caps!! Finally, someone did one thing right in this whole season of Survivor. Amanda is now on my good list. I think Todd is smart and strategic but has gotten himself so worked up and paranoid over his tendency to overstrategize that it's now working against him. While the ousting was great, I have to say, nothing will ever compare to Edgardo's boot. That was by far one of the best episodes of Survivor. period. love your recaps schoonie... maybe almost as much as i love jeff....
1 of 15 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on December 5, 2007 7:52 PM
Well, I'm so glad James is gone only because your obsession with him was marring your usually hilarious recaps, Schoonie. We were tired of the hate - lets get back to the snark! I wasn't a James fan but thought he should stay longer than the awful PG. However, James not playing ONE of the TWO IDOLS he had WITH HIM at Tribal was a truely BONEHEADED move. He deserved to go if only for that. However, PG is likely to make the finals only because everyone underestimates her. They're too worried about James and his idols or Todd and his strateeeegery. She might slip in. Not that she'll win, but she'll get the second place $100K. Anyway, now that your hate-crush James is gone we can get back to the hilarious recaps you're known for. Can't wait!
2 of 15 | Posted by sillygrrl | Posted on December 5, 2007 8:22 PM
Was it two or three weeks ago that my husband said, "You don't want to be known as the guy who was sent home holding two immunity idols."? James became very cocky. Like when the Geeks held the power to nominate someone on, oh never mind. Anyway, it was a killer episode that will live on forever. Thanks for the recap. I guess you finally found it behind your couch in your new place.
3 of 15 | Posted by geewits | Posted on December 6, 2007 12:22 AM
Anyone else notice that the lunch lady is totally packing a lot less lunch than she started with?? I think the other lunch ladies are going to be jealous of her new bod when she gets back to the giant mixer in the cafeteria.
4 of 15 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 6, 2007 2:27 AM
This was my favorite episode of all times (I've been looking everyday for your recap!). I was so glad Amanda finally smartened up! James was getting way too cocky. According to him, the rest would not be able to survive without him, and when he chose not to play the idol, I was cracking up!! Did you notice Frosty on the jury laughing in his face? They need to get rid of Todd next, can't stand him either. I was waiting for PeeGee to blow the whole plan, I hope Amanda or Eric takes it home....
5 of 15 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on December 6, 2007 4:28 AM
One, I am in total lust with Amanda...please stop blurring that perfect ass!!
Two, I have no idea why James didn't play one of the idols tonight. As I see it, there are only three (maybe four if they don't go with the 3 person final again) TCs left. James is BY FAR the most physically dominant person there. You have to have confidence that you can win an immunity over these knucklenuts, so you play the HII, then try to win the next immunity challenge. If you don't win that one, you play the HII (unless someone is just really pissing everyone off and is the hands down obvious one to go...and even then you might play it), and then you take your chances against three others for the last individual immunity. Why don't people understand this game yet? :)
6 of 15 | Posted by pappy | Posted on December 6, 2007 6:18 AM
I know you guys didn't like James and I agree in the end he was super cocky. But I think it would have been in Peih-Gee and Erik's best interest to pull James aside and let him know the plan against him. He could have joined them, gotten Denise. They would have played one of the idols and gotten rid of Todd. Peih-Gee and Erik would have been safe all the way to the finals, now they are sitting ducks to get voted off.
Schoonie...you rock
7 of 15 | Posted by air376 | Posted on December 6, 2007 6:45 AM
air376, that would never had worked since James HATES PeeGee. He couldn't wait to get rid of him. He got so cocky that I couldn't stand him anymore. You would think that when Jeff was talking to everyone (especially Denise), James would have figured something was up and played the idol. I think he almost did, because he did a half turn towards his bag. How dumb was he to get sent home with not one, but TWO immunity idols... He made Dreamz look like a road scholar....
8 of 15 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on December 6, 2007 10:08 AM
Whoops, I meant he couldn't wait to get rid of HER...
9 of 15 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on December 6, 2007 10:10 AM
Only Kerouac was a "road scholar".
Methinks you meant "Rhodes Scholar".
But then again, it is DREAMZ we're talking about here, so anything's possible...
10 of 15 | Posted by sane jane | Posted on December 6, 2007 11:40 AM
Who looks more stupid now? Jaime for playing a fake idol, or James for being booted with TWO!?
Jaime should get an apology montage from the editors or something.
Looks like the rest of the season is gonna get good...finally!
Go PG!
11 of 15 | Posted by sweetblondie | Posted on December 6, 2007 1:08 PM
Thanks Sane Jane, that's how I was going to spell it at first, but I had second guessed myself and since I am not a Rhodes Scholar, I was not sure.
12 of 15 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on December 7, 2007 4:26 AM
I'm just glad the joke's not on me - I'm still a bit of a noob here & for all I know, that was a longstanding inside joke re Dreamz for the folks here. (like maybe he said it during his season)
And then I would have felt like a total dumb@$$ ("it's pronounced 'doo-mah'"...)
13 of 15 | Posted by sane jane | Posted on December 7, 2007 8:00 AM
Even my mother said James was stupid not to use the immunity idols.
James should have known,
"Sometimes you just can't trust people."
Oh well. GO AMANDA. GO TODD. GO LUNCH LADY.
14 of 15 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on December 7, 2007 1:24 PM
Okay. I have finally picked those I am going to root for to win. My choice for the 1st Place big winner is Amanda, and Lunch Lady for the #2 spot and the $100k. I like Lunch lady the best, but Amanda's got game and lunch lady is just coasting along. Additionaly, you've got to give it to Amanda, she does well in the challenges.
Thanks for the recap! V. Funny, per usual.
15 of 15 | Posted by Farrell100 | Posted on December 7, 2007 6:45 PM