Tonight, on Survivor: dentists throughout the world cringe.
We open on what seems to be the beginnings of an orgasm. Best first sentence of any recap, ever.
However, because this show is not on Fox, what we are actually hearing is Taj moaning vehemently while Stephen scratches her back. "I've never brought such pleasure to a woman before," he jokes, hopefully immediately regretting having made that statement on television. Ladies of the world, watch out, here comes Stephen to...make you think about your income taxes in bed.
Taj clears up a minor piece of business from the last episode by telling us that she wrote Joe's name down at the last Tribal Council, but only because she didn't want to write Sandy's. Why, because then you wouldn't get her jury vote? Who cares!
Stephen and Taj take a little break from the back-scratching and climax-faking to hunt for the immunity idol, making a beeline for the treemail. Taj lets Stephen know that the clue from the last time she went to Exile (which we didn't see last week) said something about a "sad frown", solidifying her theory that the idol is near the treemail statue. It takes the pair about thirty seconds to pull the idol out of its little compartment in the back, so now both idols are officially in play. Taj decides the best course of action is to give the idol to Stephen and to have him carry it with him, since all eyes are going to be on her and no one is going to suspect that he has it. In confessional, Stephen lets us know that he's planning on sharing the idol with Taj, but he's happy to have it in his possession. "Theoretically and ostensibly, the idol is mine. I am the one wearing the idol around my neck," he says. I doubt that he'll outright screw Taj over, but it's interesting to hear that he's not going to just let her tell him when and how to use it.
After the credits, we're over at Timbira on Day 13. They get ready to do their chores for the day, and everyone leaves to go get water save for Sierra and Brendan. Sierra (after checking that they're alone) immediately starts giving Brendan shit for not telling her about the alliance. "Dude, you didn't tell me!" she says, wondering what the hell is up. Brendan admits his idiocy in confessional. Brendan starts laughing at his own idiocy and smiles at her to try and charm his way out of the situation. You know, the unintentional side effect of this whole mistake that I didn't think about is that Sierra might not trust him now, because he didn't think to tell her something that was pretty important.
When she tries to tell him that the idol's in the treemail, he stops her short and tells her that he's already got it. Since he got it awhile ago, if I were Sierra, this would probably make me even more dubious, since that makes two pieces of critical information that he probably should have shared with someone that would be in an alliance with him. Sierra, however, is psyched to be in such a good situation. "I went from being at the bottom of the totem pole to being in the strongest alliance in the game. We're gonna take over the whole world!" she says, excited.
You know, it's interesting that we've seen confessionals from Sierra, Taj and Stephen about how excited they are to be in this alliance, but we haven't seen the same enthusiasm from Brendan, you know? Maybe he hasn't bought in as much as these other people. Or it could be it is because he has the intonation of a robot.
Reward Challenge. When Probst introduces a Sandy-less Jalapao, Coach is unsurprised. "Only a matter of time," he mutters. Why do I hate him, even when we are in agreement? Only a matter of time for you, buddy.
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Comments (22)
Apparently Taj and Sandy had become unlikely but good friends while out there (most likely it was the fact that they were both mothers). That's why she threw a vote away to Joe, because she didn't want to vote for Sandy and cause her the embarrassment of a unanimous vote (which is odd, because the other four votes this season have all been unanimous, so it's not like she would have been alone).
I actually miss Sandy's random Southern craziness. She seemed like a genuinely nice person and I actually found her funny (having been raised in the South; I can tell you that many older ladies are like that there). Plus, she probably would have been loyal to Taj's alliance. At the same time, if the rest of the tribe viewed her as expendable and annoying, it would have been dumb of Taj to stick her neck out for her.
I do hope you don't have a bias against the old goofy ladies, though. Or people with strong Southern accents. :)
1 of 22 | Posted by User Name | Posted on March 16, 2009 8:24 PM
How could I? I'm from Kentucky!
2 of 22 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on March 16, 2009 8:51 PM
For some reason this week I developed a huge crush on JT...I have no idea why it was the episode where he knocked his tooth out haha. But I do know that I will def be looking forward to seeing him shirtless again!
3 of 22 | Posted by krickledawn | Posted on March 16, 2009 10:36 PM
P.S. I forgot to tell you schoonie how much I look forward to your recaps. No recaps for 3 weeks? This is BRUTAL!
4 of 22 | Posted by User Name | Posted on March 16, 2009 10:40 PM
sorry that last one was me krickle1215, I don't know why my name didn't show up.
5 of 22 | Posted by krickle1215 | Posted on March 16, 2009 11:03 PM
Well Taj wasn't lying, you know. She said "I don't have the idol." meaining "I don't have the idol on me." Remember? She gave it to her "buddy" because he has pockets.
6 of 22 | Posted by geewits | Posted on March 17, 2009 2:18 AM
Dude...you drunk dial your MOM? Weird.
7 of 22 | Posted by aholic | Posted on March 17, 2009 4:34 AM
I feel like I've learned so much just from this recap. It's like an eye-opening, mind-shattering awakening.
Everything is different now! Thanks!
I'm afraid Taj is going downhill fast. It's bad enough that she sucks at the challenges, but her social game really blows too. Wait until she discovers that she's hooked her whole strategy to a true idiot (Brendan).
If Stephen's smart, he'll orchestrate Taj's ouster, then bring JT into the alliance and take it over.
8 of 22 | Posted by itchy | Posted on March 17, 2009 4:46 AM
"Well Taj wasn't lying, you know. She said "I don't have the idol." meaining "I don't have the idol on me." Remember? She gave it to her "buddy" because he has pockets."
Yes yes, it's all very clever.
My point, however, is that saying stuff like this is completely irrelevant for that very reason. Whether she says she has the idol or not doesn't actually provide any useful information to any of these people, or make them feel any less suspicious, so why waste everyone's time playing some stupid word game that changes nothing? I'm sure they all still think she has it.
9 of 22 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on March 17, 2009 6:06 AM
I think Taj is getting a little too cocky. I'm with Itchy, I hope Stephen gets her out and then alligns with J.T.
10 of 22 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on March 17, 2009 6:17 AM
I do my best thinking in the bathroom, but not necessarily in the shower.
11 of 22 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on March 17, 2009 6:50 AM
Uh, I liked this:
"If we merge, he has control of the game," Coach says, "and then I'm a bystander, and I certainly don't want that to happen." Um, Coach? You're already a bystander and you just don't know it.
and this:
Jeff, however, does seem to care, because he is now in love with JT for being the manliest man that ever man'd. Like, you can see it in his eyes. He goes from zero to Pepe Le Pew in a split-second. James, eat your heart out!
Both made me laugh out loud.
Uh, Spencer would still be there if he had gone to JT and mentioned something about having "pretty lips." Then JT and Spencer could have developed a "DELIVERANCE" type of relationship. One centered around pig squealing and sex. Spencer is obviously dating Todd for the money cause Todd ain't that cute.
12 of 22 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on March 17, 2009 8:28 AM
Had to post because I also thought Coach was going to make a douchey comment about Brendan with the whole "wind change" thing. You know someone is an asshole when you just expect every comment out of their mouth to be like that.
13 of 22 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 17, 2009 9:38 AM
Taj and Brendan had what could have been one of the best alliances in recent years. When they pulled in the other two players they should have just layed low and played hard in challenges until the merge. Taj really should have kept her mouth shut. She could have just bitched to the camera and played it cool at camp. Now neither Taj nor Brendan can afford to go back to tribal council.
Like itchy said Taj has no social game and Brendan is missing a lot of the 'outwit' part of the game. Brendan should have let coach think he felt everyone was wrong and he wanted coach to be the leader. There is going to be at least one more tribla council before the merge and the chance is slim now that Erinn will go next if so Brendan's only hope is that he can try and get Sierra and Erinn to vote three vs three against Coach, Tyson and Deb.
14 of 22 | Posted by Dreamkeeper | Posted on March 17, 2009 12:34 PM
More SWV Fun Facts!
- SWV sang backup on TLC's hit song Waterfall. I know this is true because I read it on the internet. No really.
- The letters S W and V stand for Singers with Vajayjays.
Love ya, Schoonie! Thanks for another great recap.
15 of 22 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on March 17, 2009 4:22 PM
Soilent Green is made of people! It's made of peeeooople! HAHAHAHA...
Thanks for the recap. I guess hunger will make you do stupid things (like shoot yourself in the foot). This whole Taj alliance thing seems too easy...I'm sure something will happen.
I miss last season.
16 of 22 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on March 17, 2009 6:34 PM
OMR Schoonie. Your SWV fun fact had me laughing my little arse off! I just feel bad for anyone who just now starts reading your recaps and has NO idea what you're talking about. LOL. Actually, I'd feel bad for a person who missed any of your recaps anyway. Too funny.
17 of 22 | Posted by zbird | Posted on March 17, 2009 6:40 PM
Aaand once again, Coach does as little as possible in the Immunity Challenge. I kept saying "where is he?' and they never showed him until the very end. He certainly wasn't around any of the action. Am I becoming blinded by my hatred for him, or is he truly sucking?
Loved the recap as usual Schoonie, and it's going to be a long 3 weeks.
18 of 22 | Posted by briar | Posted on March 18, 2009 2:00 AM
Sixteen Candles reference in the caption - pretty cool
Say Anything reference in the caption - priceless
19 of 22 | Posted by trickydick | Posted on March 18, 2009 1:38 PM
Well, at this point nobody thinks that Coach is a threat and they all know that he is a douchebag, so...maybe he is not so dumb, or maybe he has bumbled into a good position.
If he makes it to the merge, he can stop sandbagging and actually try to win some immunity challenges. And as long as he acts douchey (but not TOO douchey), he isn't a threat to get jury votes. Hmmm. Genius or idiot? You be the judge.
I personally don't think he is self-aware enough or smart enough to come up with a strategy (other than thinking he'll win because he is the bestest contestant EVER!), but, unless he really screws up, there are a number of people who could go before him. (Taj, Brendan, etc.)
20 of 22 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 18, 2009 9:45 PM
I agree with Pixie; Coach has lucked his way into a great position... no one will trust him long enough to be in an alliance, but people will come to sway his vote (giving him the misguided impression he is powerful), however, his douchiness will ruin his game. Plus, he won't have the votes on the jury, esp. if Erinn is on the jury.
21 of 22 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on March 19, 2009 2:33 PM
I also like Taj and JT. I've got one word to explain Taj's behavior-HORMONES! Isn't she the one that recently had a baby and said she was looking forward to losing the extra weight? Hormones are crazy after giving birth, not to mention a lady Taj's age has the painter visit town once a month....I'm just saying...
22 of 22 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on March 19, 2009 9:41 PM