Hey everyone! Good to be back. It's time for Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites and Jonny Fairplay. And you know what that means: time for more Yau-Man!
The music is like THIS! IS! VERY! SUSPENSEFUL! AND! NOT! AT! ALL! SORT! OF! A! LAME! EPISODE! as we wind up to meet the new castaways, who are being brought to the beach in big tribal canoes paddled by tribesmen dressed in battle gear. Coincidentally, that's the only way to get to my orthodontist's office, too. It's kind of out of the way.
Probst tells us that we're flying over the beautiful islands of "Micronesia", which is not at all Palau where a previous season was filmed. It has a different name, people! Therefore, it is somewhere else. Also: we meet again, Probst. Just below him are 10 Americans, people who are "superfans" of the show. Also, one of them is batshit crazy, but we'll get to that. What they don't know is that they'll be playing against 10 of their "favorite" Survivors from seasons past. Wait, someone likes Ami? And then there is a montage of shit talking from the old guys, including one from Fairplay in which he says he played a "perfect game" last time. Apparently the completion of a "perfect game" involves getting beat by a pantsless Boy Scout. Who knew?
It is pouring as the ten fans land on the beach and are greeted by Jeff Probst. Welcome to "Micronesia", everybody! Jeff drops the bomb on them, telling them that they'll be playing with past Survivors. One by one, they come out, starting with Cirie (yay!) I'm glad she's back, because she rules. Next out is Ozzy, who Probst can barely restrain from making out with. Ami comes out, and people are like "Yeesh!" Jon Penner comes out next, and: he rules, so I'm psyched about that one. Eliza is next, and...we'll see about her. Then James rounds the corner, and he gets a big round of applause. James gets another chance from me this season, BTW, because he was cool at the finale. How will Jeff restrain himself this season with not one, but two mancrushes present? I think it will be an interesting subtext to this whole thing. One in which I will probably invent various Project Runway style "Where's Andrae?" backstories, so prepare yourself for that.
Next out is Parvati, and I hate myself for finding her so attractive, because she is so, so lame. And yet, there she is, looking fly in her tacky bikini with her giant fake teeth. Jeff makes sure to say her name correctly (if you'll remember, he spent a whole season calling her "Poverty"), and she must have made a point of telling him how to say it, because she's like "Thank you, Jeff" after he introduces her. Yau-Man rounds the corner and people freak out, which rules because he is awesome and cool and I'm glad he's back. Next Amanda comes out, and I'm glad she's getting another chance. Also, if you have not seen her photo on the CBS website, go right now and do that.
And finally, Jonny Fairplay rounds the corner, dressed exactly like Probst, which I admit I found sort of hilarious. Here's my deal with Jonny Fairplay: I wanted him to win his season, because I thought he played the best game at the end. However, I still think he is a douche. After him and Probst go a couple of rounds, which I refuse to recap because it's like watching two donkeys box each other, Probst gives them their buffs. The fans tribe will be Airai, and the favorites tribe will be Malakal, but you will not be hearing those names for the rest of the episode, so in case you're wondering whether these two groups are going to be mixed up, you have your answer. Big P tells them that there are two canoes waiting to take the two tribes to camp across the water. Also, there's an immunity idol that is good for the first Tribal Council only.
« American Idol: Let's Get This Show on the Road Already! | | Lost: What's in a name? »
Comments (18)
Schoonie - funny recap - but why so short? It felt like you were rushing through it. :(
1 of 18 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on February 9, 2008 2:44 PM
I love ya, Schoonie (and your recaps), but I have to disagree with you this time. I think that Fairplay might have been sincere. I hope that everyone realizes that "Jonny Fairplay" is a character he created, right? He couldn't really be that assinine. If I recall correctly, Michelle was a pretty sensitive girl. If he was "Fairplay" all of the time, there is no way that they would have survived 3 years together. Plus, before when he was lying to the other folks, he was honest in the confessional because he enjoys people knowing when he is getting something over on them. This time, he said the same thing in the confessional as he did to Jeff and everyone else. So I believe him. Becoming a parent changes you. Also, even if he can't fly home to be with them, he can talk to her on the phone daily and know that she is alright, what the doctor said at her last checkup, etc.
One thing I did wonder about this episode... They said that the immunity idols were good only for the first tribal council. Does that mean the first of all of them? Or the first for each tribe? So is the idol that bat-shit-crazy-lady has still in play until they go to their first tribal or not?
2 of 18 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on February 9, 2008 2:51 PM
Well, the joke is pretty much on everyone if this "father" excuse was another "grandma" lie. He really did just have a son last month.
3 of 18 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on February 9, 2008 3:01 PM
snootchy bootches - I believe that the first immunity idol is good for each first tribal. So the crazy lady is still safe the first time the Fans go to Tribal.
4 of 18 | Posted by heathie66 | Posted on February 9, 2008 4:45 PM
Two donkeys boxing each other? Hee Hee. Did you mean kangaroos or is that just because I'm wearing my Survivor Outback T-shirt?
Great recap except Parvati? her teeth and mouth freak me out.
The Yau-Man tackle was AWESOME.
My husband laughed and laughed at me because for some insane reason, I didn't realize OZZY was in this. Ozzy, mmmmmmmmm.
I'm looking forward to more of these!
5 of 18 | Posted by geewits | Posted on February 10, 2008 4:17 AM
I thought for sure the recap would have a clip of Jonny Fairplay's head hitting that boat. We roared! We had to rewind and watch it 4 or 5 times. Too funny.
6 of 18 | Posted by mmagruder | Posted on February 10, 2008 4:53 AM
Did anyone else think Eliza's teeth and mouth looked funny? She still looks anorexic! Great recap Schoonie!
7 of 18 | Posted by oliverandharry | Posted on February 10, 2008 5:36 AM
Love your recaps, Scoonie. Been a fan of them since the China eisodes. Been a fan of Survivor since Richard invented the alliance. As for Parvati, she's just working it like she did on poor Nathan. At least she's down with the swirl.
8 of 18 | Posted by warrenpeace | Posted on February 10, 2008 7:54 AM
We had a theory: Fairplay thought about Survivor's offer this way -- sure, I'd love to be on TV again, but there's no way in hell I'm putting up with a month of that crap. I'll go, make a splash, then beg out in the first tribal where it's possible.
Or, when was this filmed? Was Fairplay in pain over the Bonaduce flip, and really wanted to get the hell back where he could take painkillers?
9 of 18 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on February 10, 2008 5:59 PM
I didn't really notice Eliza's mouth, but man did I notice Fairplay's. Every time those terrible yellow teeth came on camera I had to look away ...
As far as the rest of the game goes, originally I thought the faves would have it tied up due to their advantage in knowing how to make shelter, get food, start fire more efficiently and wasting less energy early on. But, the fans seem like they might have balanced that by winning flint. I kind of feel like the fans knowing the faves' game play strategies is a non-factor, although I could be wrong.
10 of 18 | Posted by myfavoritesunglasses | Posted on February 10, 2008 9:22 PM
"If you eat this, I'll try not to vote your ass out again"
Lollers
Couple boob questions...first, that chick that wanted to kick fairplay (and who wouldn't), are those the biggest nipples you have ever seen? And she has the audacity to say "what makes you think I have em (implants)??? lol
Second, my wife and I were debating...did Amanda get implants? I think not, as she just had a different bikini type last season...whatever, her body (and face) is spectacular...love her.
I loves me some Pavariti too...huge survivor crush...
Likes me some ami too...dunno why, she is just hot to me....maybe it is the lesbian thing...
eliza...loved her face plant...can't stand her...
When was this filmed? Before or after the reunion show for last season?
11 of 18 | Posted by pappy44 | Posted on February 11, 2008 6:57 AM
So so glad JFP is gone. I cannot STAND listening to him address himself in the third person all the time. What a douche. His exit was timed perfectly by the powers that be. I dont think he ever intended to stay and was a ploy to get people (who might not be otherwise) interested in this season.
Gld to have Yauman and Cirie back and wow Ozzy and Amanda - next week looks steamy. And Jonathon Penner is freaking HOT! Those eyes - yum. James is total yum too - hope hes learned not to be so "gee golly shucks" trusting this time.
12 of 18 | Posted by jelliepair | Posted on February 11, 2008 8:03 AM
Small correction, Jonny FP's girlfriend gave birth to a daughter, not a son.
13 of 18 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on February 12, 2008 3:09 AM
I remember Ami very clearly from her season. She thought she was an architect, thought she was running everybody. She was WRONG. And her arrogant, snotty attitude only made it sweeter when she got her comeuppance. She's gone from being a barista to being a nanny, but she's still got the same haughty attitude.
14 of 18 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on February 12, 2008 12:14 PM
I'm so happy survivor is back and I love the faves team, especially now that JFP is gone, gone, gone.
I agree, Parvati, Amanda, and Ami are sooooooo freakin' hot, and I love Yau and Jonathan, and I hope they get Cirie and get James and Ozzy out so we can look at Parvati and Amanda fall out of their bikinis some more!!!!!!!
As for the Fans, just keep losing.
15 of 18 | Posted by jaybird | Posted on February 14, 2008 5:42 PM
Did I miss a recap from last week - can't find it anywhere on this site???
The February 21st episode?!?
16 of 18 | Posted by moasey | Posted on February 21, 2008 10:56 AM
Where are all the Survivor recaps?
Two weeks with NOTHING!!!
17 of 18 | Posted by moasey | Posted on February 25, 2008 8:52 AM
Schoonie. I LOVE you for loving Jon Penner- sooo under appreciated in his season!
Love of my life Yau-Man!
Parvati- I hope she eats the sand, hard.
Amanda-I'll give her a chance to redeem herself.
James- Ugggh.
Oh Ozzy.
Best line: Poor Michelle from ANTM. First a flesh eating bacteria. Then this.
lol.
I'm traveling and count on you to keep me up to date!
18 of 18 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on March 6, 2008 11:19 AM