We actually start at Airai this time, where Jason is whining about Mikey begin gone. Frankly, as long as Tracy (and maybe also Alexis) stick around, I could give a pants about any of the newbies. Jason seems like a whiner. He tells us that he hates the tribe he's on, and wishes that he were on another one. Well, if you wanted that to happen, you should have been on an earlier season of Survivor, jerk. It's your fault for not being interesting enough.
Meanwhile, Chet and Tracy are celebrating their coup. Well, mostly Chet is celebrating. Tracy knows that they're going to have to pull some pretty spectacular stuff to make this happen. Chet is like, "I want Jason gone next." And we all know that Chet is the one who makes the decisions around here. He is a strategic powerhouse the likes of which have ne'er before been seen. Fear him! And his belly button ring!
After the credits, we're over at the Favorites camp, where they have decided to kill one of their chickens. Ozzy takes advantage of the hubbub to hide the idol over in a cave, and also to tell James that he found it. That is, of course, a very wise move. We know that James has several really smart things to tell us about proper use of the idol. So then, Ozzy goes and tells Amanda and Parvati as well, which is kind of dumb. Don't tell anyone until you absolutely have to! It's like Rule No. 1 of idol possession. I hate to say this, but...Ozzy is not really a great strategist. He rocks in challenges, but he actually might be kind of dumb. Evidence is inconclusive so far.
The tribes shuffle in for the reward challenge, where Jeff informs them that they will be mixing up the tribes. Ozzy is actually pissed enough that his mouth needs to be visibly blurred from all the cussing. Seriously, what happens if he ends up on Airai and the idol is at the other camp? Jeff passes out rocks and tells them not to look; the two with colored rocks get to be "team captains". Ozzy ends up as the captain for Malakal, and Natalie ends up as the captain for Airai. Natalie gets to pick first, and she has to pick someone from the other tribe, so she picks...James. Um, okay? I love how this myth that he's awesome in challenges (which, quick, name one challenge in which his strength has been an asset) continues to be propagated. James' strengths are, in descending order: whining about how useless everyone else is, whining about how useless one person in particular is, and whining about how much it sucks to be saddled with idiots. I have yet to see him do anything substantive.
So, anyway, Ozzy decides to pick "Troy", and there is an awkward pause and Jeff is like "Yeah, there is no Troy." It would have been awesome if he had to forfeit that pick and Natalie got to pick again, like it's Wheel of Fortune. But no, Ozzy means Joel, and so his stupid cocky ass gets to go over to Malakal. The tribe picking continues, with people picking others from opposite tribes. Highlights: Ozzy strongarms Joel into picking Amanda, even though the look on Joel's face is like "But...she's a GIRL!" Little do you know that she will cut you. Alexis chooses Jonathan, who is like "You SURE?" and you can tell that Alexis is totally in love with Jonathan because of his season, which is how I know that I now like her. Jason chooses "Poverty", which pisses her off. Chet ends up being last, and Parvati picks Kathy over him. Which, wow. So, the tribes shake out as follows:
Airai: Natalie, James, Parvati, Jonathan, Eliza, Alexis, Jason, and Kathy
Malakal: Ozzy, Joel, Amanda, Cirie, Ami, Erik, Tracy, and Chet
And now it's time for the reward challenge. Basically the new tribes will be tethered together in teams of two, with one team being the "chasers" and one being the "runners" or something. The teams will be on this course with things to jump over and run around, and tribes will alternate roles, the chasers having one minute to grab a flag from the runners. The reward is a barbeque of steak and veggies. Worth incurring a vast amount of injuries for? Yes, I say.
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Comments (13)
Chet: "I hit my head back there."
Joel: "I don't care."
Chet: "I know."
Seriously, has there ever been such a brilliant exchange in so few words on this show?
1 of 13 | Posted by abaumga2 | Posted on March 13, 2008 7:19 PM
The best part was during his after-auf'ing confessional, when he whines that he cannot believe his former tribemates chose Chet over him.
Kinda like Mikey the week before, eh, Joel? You putz?
What a complete tool.
2 of 13 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on March 13, 2008 11:22 PM
The pecking order how Chet described it is pretty accurate. I don't know anything about farming or animals, but we had to do a case in business school about -- no joke -- contact lenses for chickens. They were these lenses that obscured the vision of chickens in egg farms so that they couldn't see the other chickens well enough. The reason this had to be done was that the natural pecking-order process caused the deaths of chickens in the flock -- which cut into profits. By keeping alpha chickens from being able to identify and kill the weak ones, the egg farm would have increased production.
Contact lenses for chickens... Who knew?!
3 of 13 | Posted by mishajames | Posted on March 14, 2008 3:56 AM
One of the best episodes in a long time! Poetic justice rules! ;)
These challenges are getting more and more dangerous--does anyone else agree? I still can't get over the one where they had to tackle each other in the mud a few weeks back--no fair to put someone like Joel against Yao or Eliza, as the smaller folks could have really gotten hurt.
Anyway, thanks for the recap--I got a kick out of your gleeful replay of the James/Jason/tree comedy routine!
4 of 13 | Posted by drmalcolm | Posted on March 14, 2008 6:33 AM
As Stewie Griffin would say: "Spot on, spot on".
Great recap!
5 of 13 | Posted by TALMA63 | Posted on March 14, 2008 11:33 AM
As Stewie Griffin would say: "Spot on, spot on". Great recap!
6 of 13 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on March 14, 2008 11:35 AM
Like I said last week, I really did almost start crying during that reward challenge. Watching Chet get dragged around and hit his head was so hard to watch. and then the pitiful "I hit my head back there." Oh god...it kills me just thinking about it.
I detest Joel. When you throw around scenarios, even hypothetical ones, more than once, that involve actually killing people....yeah, you have issues.
Overall though, I am not liking this season, and I am very rarely one to judge a season this early. All the "favorites" (except Jonathan) are annoying me to no end, and the fans (except Tracy) are pretty much pointless as well. Erik is starting to really grate on my nerves. That hair!!!
7 of 13 | Posted by fycin | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:15 PM
Wonderful recap! However, I think on the last page, Joel was blaming Chet after the Immunity Challenge, not Tribal Council.
Jeff "sniffs his [Joel's] asshole torch?" Best typo EVER!
I wonder what they will say about Joel when it's time for the ceremonial burning of the torches, or whatever, when they remember the "fallen" players. I hope they don't try to act like he was awesome and say nice things.
8 of 13 | Posted by LonnaSaur | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:50 PM
I felt so bad for Chet!! Joel is such a despicable douchebag, I loved that he got voted out!! It was one of, if not THE best moment in Survivor history for me! Hated that guy!!!!
9 of 13 | Posted by jojobear | Posted on March 14, 2008 4:35 PM
Mongo like Joel
Mongo find Joel hunky.
Mongo ashamed of Chet.
Mongo don't like gay people depicted as weak and sniveling.
Mongo not big fan of Chet.
Mongo want Joel back.
10 of 13 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on March 14, 2008 4:55 PM
On dial-up here, so just getting ready to enjoy the recap.
Before I start, I am going to ask if anyone else shed a tear for Jonathan. My god, he broke my shriveled heart.
And I can't stand that one, what's her name? - Tracey - the one with Chet. She has had so much control in this game, and good on her, but there is a mean streak there.
Now off to read.
11 of 13 | Posted by FuriousFlipper | Posted on March 14, 2008 5:08 PM
I agree with your suggestion that there was ill-will towards Joel about how he treated Chet during the Challenge. It was actually very upsetting to see Joel treat Chet with such disregard.
Isn't this guy a fireman or something?
His disrespect towards Chet as a human being was shocking and disgusting.
12 of 13 | Posted by BellicoseBaby | Posted on March 14, 2008 6:32 PM
I happen to think James is awesome at challenges and around camp. He has admitted that he doesn't communicate well and/or socializes well with others. He makes me laugh when he makes comments like "They should be dead." I think it is his way of trying to be funny. Anyway, it makes me laugh. Also, I don't know why you think Jonathon is so great - his voice is grating and he is so whiny. I will admit his eyes are beautiful but I don't get the love of all things Jonathon. I can't wait until Tracy is gone as well. It's great to have an alliance but Chet was completely USELESS!!
13 of 13 | Posted by sunshine | Posted on March 15, 2008 6:33 PM