First, Erik and Ozzy chase Natalie and Kathy. You can tell how this one is going to end, right? Ozzy owns it, and the first point goes to Malakal. Round two is Parvati/Eliza chasing Chet/Joel. Chet seems to keep up fairly well during this round, nimbly leaping over obstacles and whatnot. Right before the end, Eliza makes this ridiculous flying leap and grabs a flag off of Chet. When she reaches out, she kind of flails and totally throws a bow right into Parvati's face. Parvati has a fat lip that she keeps whining about. I guess there are not a lot of injuries in Foxy Boxing?
In the next round, Ami and Amanda chase Jason and James, and Ami takes a wicked fall and it looks like she's probably hurt pretty badly. James and Jason get a nice lead, but then they try to go around a tree on opposite sides and get yanked back like the Matrix. It is awesome. And then it gets better when they try and untangle themselves by running around the tree, and only serve to mess themselves up even more. It is phenomenal. So Ami just sort of...walks up and grabs a flag, because these two dolts are busy working on their Three Stooges comedy show. I probably watched that part like ten times.
So, the score is 2-1, Malakal. Next Jonathan and Alexis (see? She likes him) chase Cirie and Tracy. They do okay until they get caught on an obstacle, and then Cirie is so busy fighting off Jon (which she's been wanting to do for awhile) that Alexis just walks up and snatches the flag. The teams go back to the sidelines, and Jon's knee is bleeding like a mother.
So now the score is tied and this is the Final Round. Chet and Joel will be chasing Eliza and Parvati. Everything goes okay for the first twenty seconds or so, and then Chet stumbles and falls. Instead of waiting for him to get up so they can resume their chase, he drags him around the course without giving him a chance to get up. Chet is being dragged on his ass, and at one point he hits his head really badly against a branch and gets really discombobulated. Joel, unfamiliar with the concept of teamwork and already feeling contempt for Chet, just keeps dragging him around until time runs out. Wow, I hate him a lot. I thought he was a turd before, but there are no words to describe how terrible he is.
Time runs out and Airai wins the reward. Joel blames Chet, even though the whole thing was really, REALLY Joel's fault because Chet was doing fine the first time. And then, the following lovely exchange occurs:
Chet: "I hit my head back there."
Joel: "I don't care."
Chet: "I know."
Seriously? How do you not just start screaming at a guy like that, a guy who has so obviously dismissed you as useless? What do you have to lose? Whatever, Joel sucks.
Back at camp, Joel is like, "Maybe it's poetic justice of some form because I chose to get rid of Mikey vs. Chet." No, douche. First of all, Tracy chose to get rid of Mikey, not you. Also, that is not poetic justice. Poetic justice would be him outlasting you. (SPOILED!)
Ozzy gives the newbies a tour of Malakal camp, and they are impressed because theirs looks sort of like Guantanamo. Erik is like, "Wow, a cave!" because he is about fifteen years old and has hair from the Brady Bunch Era. Chet, uninterested in the tour, is tending to the chickens. He tells us all about how there's a "pecking order" and how chickens will literally peck the weakest one until he dies. So, I'm pretty sure that's not true, and that the pecking order only applies to who gets to eat first, but perhaps I am wrong. Maybe chickens are a lot more Darwinian than I thought.
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Comments (13)
Chet: "I hit my head back there."
Joel: "I don't care."
Chet: "I know."
Seriously, has there ever been such a brilliant exchange in so few words on this show?
1 of 13 | Posted by abaumga2 | Posted on March 13, 2008 7:19 PM
The best part was during his after-auf'ing confessional, when he whines that he cannot believe his former tribemates chose Chet over him.
Kinda like Mikey the week before, eh, Joel? You putz?
What a complete tool.
2 of 13 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on March 13, 2008 11:22 PM
The pecking order how Chet described it is pretty accurate. I don't know anything about farming or animals, but we had to do a case in business school about -- no joke -- contact lenses for chickens. They were these lenses that obscured the vision of chickens in egg farms so that they couldn't see the other chickens well enough. The reason this had to be done was that the natural pecking-order process caused the deaths of chickens in the flock -- which cut into profits. By keeping alpha chickens from being able to identify and kill the weak ones, the egg farm would have increased production.
Contact lenses for chickens... Who knew?!
3 of 13 | Posted by mishajames | Posted on March 14, 2008 3:56 AM
One of the best episodes in a long time! Poetic justice rules! ;)
These challenges are getting more and more dangerous--does anyone else agree? I still can't get over the one where they had to tackle each other in the mud a few weeks back--no fair to put someone like Joel against Yao or Eliza, as the smaller folks could have really gotten hurt.
Anyway, thanks for the recap--I got a kick out of your gleeful replay of the James/Jason/tree comedy routine!
4 of 13 | Posted by drmalcolm | Posted on March 14, 2008 6:33 AM
As Stewie Griffin would say: "Spot on, spot on".
Great recap!
5 of 13 | Posted by TALMA63 | Posted on March 14, 2008 11:33 AM
As Stewie Griffin would say: "Spot on, spot on". Great recap!
6 of 13 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on March 14, 2008 11:35 AM
Like I said last week, I really did almost start crying during that reward challenge. Watching Chet get dragged around and hit his head was so hard to watch. and then the pitiful "I hit my head back there." Oh god...it kills me just thinking about it.
I detest Joel. When you throw around scenarios, even hypothetical ones, more than once, that involve actually killing people....yeah, you have issues.
Overall though, I am not liking this season, and I am very rarely one to judge a season this early. All the "favorites" (except Jonathan) are annoying me to no end, and the fans (except Tracy) are pretty much pointless as well. Erik is starting to really grate on my nerves. That hair!!!
7 of 13 | Posted by fycin | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:15 PM
Wonderful recap! However, I think on the last page, Joel was blaming Chet after the Immunity Challenge, not Tribal Council.
Jeff "sniffs his [Joel's] asshole torch?" Best typo EVER!
I wonder what they will say about Joel when it's time for the ceremonial burning of the torches, or whatever, when they remember the "fallen" players. I hope they don't try to act like he was awesome and say nice things.
8 of 13 | Posted by LonnaSaur | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:50 PM
I felt so bad for Chet!! Joel is such a despicable douchebag, I loved that he got voted out!! It was one of, if not THE best moment in Survivor history for me! Hated that guy!!!!
9 of 13 | Posted by jojobear | Posted on March 14, 2008 4:35 PM
Mongo like Joel
Mongo find Joel hunky.
Mongo ashamed of Chet.
Mongo don't like gay people depicted as weak and sniveling.
Mongo not big fan of Chet.
Mongo want Joel back.
10 of 13 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on March 14, 2008 4:55 PM
On dial-up here, so just getting ready to enjoy the recap.
Before I start, I am going to ask if anyone else shed a tear for Jonathan. My god, he broke my shriveled heart.
And I can't stand that one, what's her name? - Tracey - the one with Chet. She has had so much control in this game, and good on her, but there is a mean streak there.
Now off to read.
11 of 13 | Posted by FuriousFlipper | Posted on March 14, 2008 5:08 PM
I agree with your suggestion that there was ill-will towards Joel about how he treated Chet during the Challenge. It was actually very upsetting to see Joel treat Chet with such disregard.
Isn't this guy a fireman or something?
His disrespect towards Chet as a human being was shocking and disgusting.
12 of 13 | Posted by BellicoseBaby | Posted on March 14, 2008 6:32 PM
I happen to think James is awesome at challenges and around camp. He has admitted that he doesn't communicate well and/or socializes well with others. He makes me laugh when he makes comments like "They should be dead." I think it is his way of trying to be funny. Anyway, it makes me laugh. Also, I don't know why you think Jonathon is so great - his voice is grating and he is so whiny. I will admit his eyes are beautiful but I don't get the love of all things Jonathon. I can't wait until Tracy is gone as well. It's great to have an alliance but Chet was completely USELESS!!
13 of 13 | Posted by sunshine | Posted on March 15, 2008 6:33 PM