Of course, we come back from Tribal Council and everyone is fucking blaming Chet, even though he did an okay job and really had nothing to do with the loss. Joel is like, "If this were medieval times, we'd have killed him ourselves." What is with this guy and comparing things to random eras in time? It's like he's Bill and Ted, but douchier. Also, I HATE JOEL. What does it have to do with anything? In olden times, you'd still be a douche. So everyone seems pretty set on getting rid of Chet. Cirie, however, has a pow-wow with Chet and Tracy, because she knows that her ass is next if this goes down. They decide that Joel is the one to worry about. Tracy is like, "Well, then let's take his ass out." Indeed, let's.
Cirie deduces that in order for this to go down, Ozzy and Amanda are going to have to vote for Joel. Cirie begins her pitch to get rid of Joel, and Ozzy is like, "But...he's big! We need him in challenges!" Cirie dispels this myth handily by referencing the fact that he didn't help at all today, or any other day, come to think of it. I think there is some ill will against Joel for treating Chet like shit at the challenge. Also, Cirie is right. Just because you're big does not mean you rule at challenges. Ozzy himself is proof of that. Everyone seems to think James is great at challenges, but he's really not. You know who's the best after Ozzy? Amanda. Just something to think about. And she's a girl!
Cirie also mentions that they can use Chet as a pawn and a vote for whatever they want, whereas Joel is out to win. If only they knew that Joel was ridiculously easy to manipulate. I bet that if you made him paranoid enough, you could get him to vote for himself. "You're out to get you, Joel! You'd better take you out before, uh, YOU do!"
Tribal Council! Jeff starts in on Chet's utter uselessness, because if there's anything Jeff digs, it's falling in love with guys who have no strategic mind at all, but are good at challenges. Joel takes this as a cue to complain about Chet for about eighty years. Chet shakes his head, which makes Joel mad because 'How dare he suggest that Joel might actually be the one responsible because he is a giant, selfish asshole?' Joel goes on and on forever about how Chet must have "mud in his ears", thinking he's being clever, and I just want him to shut up forever. Tracy finally pipes up all "Well, maybe if you had been a team player and communicated, we might have won, JERK." But Joel does not listen. I know one way you can get the message across to him!
Time to vote! Erik votes for Chet. Chet votes for Joel. Tracy votes for Joel: "This is because you called me weak one too many times." she says. Joel votes for Chet and smugs into the camera, because he believes it to be a foregone conclusion.
Time to vote! One vote for Joel. He smirks, because the little people cannot damage him, with their tiny swords. Then there are two for Chet. Still, everything is right in Joel's world. Another for Joel. "It's cool. I got this." says his unibrow and stupid smirk.
And then: a third vote for Joel. The smile, it is wiped off his face. And it is every bit as good as that time when it happened to Edgardo.
The next two are for Joel, and he's done! AWESOME. AWESOME! Awesome. Jeff sniffs his asshole torch, and he is out. Forever. Pre-jury. What about that, BEOTCH?
You forget this very important point: Weak people have the same vote that strong people have, jerk.
Episodes like this are the reason I watch this show.
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Comments (13)
Chet: "I hit my head back there."
Joel: "I don't care."
Chet: "I know."
Seriously, has there ever been such a brilliant exchange in so few words on this show?
1 of 13 | Posted by abaumga2 | Posted on March 13, 2008 7:19 PM
The best part was during his after-auf'ing confessional, when he whines that he cannot believe his former tribemates chose Chet over him.
Kinda like Mikey the week before, eh, Joel? You putz?
What a complete tool.
2 of 13 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on March 13, 2008 11:22 PM
The pecking order how Chet described it is pretty accurate. I don't know anything about farming or animals, but we had to do a case in business school about -- no joke -- contact lenses for chickens. They were these lenses that obscured the vision of chickens in egg farms so that they couldn't see the other chickens well enough. The reason this had to be done was that the natural pecking-order process caused the deaths of chickens in the flock -- which cut into profits. By keeping alpha chickens from being able to identify and kill the weak ones, the egg farm would have increased production.
Contact lenses for chickens... Who knew?!
3 of 13 | Posted by mishajames | Posted on March 14, 2008 3:56 AM
One of the best episodes in a long time! Poetic justice rules! ;)
These challenges are getting more and more dangerous--does anyone else agree? I still can't get over the one where they had to tackle each other in the mud a few weeks back--no fair to put someone like Joel against Yao or Eliza, as the smaller folks could have really gotten hurt.
Anyway, thanks for the recap--I got a kick out of your gleeful replay of the James/Jason/tree comedy routine!
4 of 13 | Posted by drmalcolm | Posted on March 14, 2008 6:33 AM
As Stewie Griffin would say: "Spot on, spot on".
Great recap!
5 of 13 | Posted by TALMA63 | Posted on March 14, 2008 11:33 AM
As Stewie Griffin would say: "Spot on, spot on". Great recap!
6 of 13 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on March 14, 2008 11:35 AM
Like I said last week, I really did almost start crying during that reward challenge. Watching Chet get dragged around and hit his head was so hard to watch. and then the pitiful "I hit my head back there." Oh god...it kills me just thinking about it.
I detest Joel. When you throw around scenarios, even hypothetical ones, more than once, that involve actually killing people....yeah, you have issues.
Overall though, I am not liking this season, and I am very rarely one to judge a season this early. All the "favorites" (except Jonathan) are annoying me to no end, and the fans (except Tracy) are pretty much pointless as well. Erik is starting to really grate on my nerves. That hair!!!
7 of 13 | Posted by fycin | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:15 PM
Wonderful recap! However, I think on the last page, Joel was blaming Chet after the Immunity Challenge, not Tribal Council.
Jeff "sniffs his [Joel's] asshole torch?" Best typo EVER!
I wonder what they will say about Joel when it's time for the ceremonial burning of the torches, or whatever, when they remember the "fallen" players. I hope they don't try to act like he was awesome and say nice things.
8 of 13 | Posted by LonnaSaur | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:50 PM
I felt so bad for Chet!! Joel is such a despicable douchebag, I loved that he got voted out!! It was one of, if not THE best moment in Survivor history for me! Hated that guy!!!!
9 of 13 | Posted by jojobear | Posted on March 14, 2008 4:35 PM
Mongo like Joel
Mongo find Joel hunky.
Mongo ashamed of Chet.
Mongo don't like gay people depicted as weak and sniveling.
Mongo not big fan of Chet.
Mongo want Joel back.
10 of 13 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on March 14, 2008 4:55 PM
On dial-up here, so just getting ready to enjoy the recap.
Before I start, I am going to ask if anyone else shed a tear for Jonathan. My god, he broke my shriveled heart.
And I can't stand that one, what's her name? - Tracey - the one with Chet. She has had so much control in this game, and good on her, but there is a mean streak there.
Now off to read.
11 of 13 | Posted by FuriousFlipper | Posted on March 14, 2008 5:08 PM
I agree with your suggestion that there was ill-will towards Joel about how he treated Chet during the Challenge. It was actually very upsetting to see Joel treat Chet with such disregard.
Isn't this guy a fireman or something?
His disrespect towards Chet as a human being was shocking and disgusting.
12 of 13 | Posted by BellicoseBaby | Posted on March 14, 2008 6:32 PM
I happen to think James is awesome at challenges and around camp. He has admitted that he doesn't communicate well and/or socializes well with others. He makes me laugh when he makes comments like "They should be dead." I think it is his way of trying to be funny. Anyway, it makes me laugh. Also, I don't know why you think Jonathon is so great - his voice is grating and he is so whiny. I will admit his eyes are beautiful but I don't get the love of all things Jonathon. I can't wait until Tracy is gone as well. It's great to have an alliance but Chet was completely USELESS!!
13 of 13 | Posted by sunshine | Posted on March 15, 2008 6:33 PM