Sierra is the first to voice her frustration, admitting that she's frustrated "as [Coach] would have been had one of us done it," which is a very level headed and restrained way to put things, given the situation. Coach seems to think that this admission somehow vindicates him, because she's obviously only mad at him because she doesn't like him, and not because he's a giant asshole who threw tainted water on their food and then watched from the shelter while it burned. He seems to think that he's touched on a deeper issue, which is that other people who are not coach are petty, and don't like Coach because they let their weak emotions rule them. This is convenient for Coach because this explanation allows him to act like a dick without repercussion. "And the truth shall set you free!" he yells into the air like an evangelist, acting like he's just uncovered some sort of deep rooted prejudice against him. Why can't people just give Coach a fair shot? Everyone's so bigoted! Let's have a sit-in at the diner and let the cops spray us with the fire hose to showcase this fact! No more 'Coach only' water fountains and bathrooms! We will not rest until Coach is given the right to vote, and allowed to go to sit in the front of the bus! WHO'S WITH ME?
"It was raining, I wanted to cook the beans longer, and it was just a bad combination. No need to blame anybody." Coach says, because 'anybody' means 'me'. Coach does seems to realize that he owes everyone an apology, so he gives one of those "I'm sorry that you're all so weak that you're actually mad at me about this" apologies that are so popular among people like him. "I screwed up the beans, my bad," he says condescendingly. "Please forgive me, all of you, especially you Sierra, who seems to have the most angst about it," he says with his hands folded in front of him like a monk, because if you're going to be a giant douchebag, you should do it with as much new age-y bullshit as possibly involved.
"There have probably been five or six situations like that where everybody's like 'Come on, that's not for the best of everybody, that's just for the best of you', Brendan says, "But I'm okay with that, because it makes him a predictable player, and predictable in this game is great." Brendan does have a point. Coach is obviously not long for this game. There's "being unlikable enough to reach the final two" and "being so unlikable that people will devise other strategies that don't involve you, just to get away from you".
Back at Jalapao, Taj pulls Stephen aside to run an idea by him: she wants to tell JT that she has the idol. "What does that accomplish?" Stephen asks very appropriately. Taj believes that telling him will "solidify their trust", which might be true, but would also put an unneeded wrinkly in their endgame and possibly cost them a jury vote. Stephen argues the opposite, noting that telling JT would make him wary, since he would wonder why they didn't let him know earlier. Stephen makes a very astute observation in confessional, noting that he has a lot of power as the bridge of communication between Taj and JT, and if they end up bonding, that makes Stephen himself less important. Could this guy make me want to root for him any more? He's awesome.
Taj tells us that her real alliance is the four person alliance including Stephen, Brendan and Sierra, so she just wants to make it to the merge, and as long as JT's on her side, she thinks she's going to get there. Um, you have three days before the merge and the immunity idol; I think you might be in good shape without having to reveal what is arguably your biggest asset in the game.
Reward Challenge. Today, the tribes will have five minutes to build a barricade. After that's done, the other team will attempt to throw ceramic pigs through the barricade for another five minutes. The team with the most pigs at the end of the time limit will win the reward, which is a trip to a waterfall which includes a cookout with hamburgers. Why wouldn't they throw ceramic cows, then? There is no need to involve pigs in this when their meat won't even be enjoyed at the reward.
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Comments (21)
To answer your oft asked question, "Where do these people get this stuff to make the idols?", Probst says on his blog that the camps & challenges are purposely decorated with all kinds of doo-dads for just that reason. They love it when fake idols are made.
Anysnore, yup, Joe's boring and Taj can't keep her piehole shut.
1 of 21 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on April 6, 2009 9:55 PM
Sydney's supposed charms escaped me -- sure, she's pretty enough, but boring as all hell. I'm certain she's the type to just lie there waiting, taking a very very long time of it and making only very very quiet sighing sounds when (if) she's finally done. In other words, why even bother.
Sierra's much much hotter. You just know she's the type to move your head around to exactly where she needs it to be.
Which has me rooting for her team, even though that also means I'm rooting for Coach. And Debra. And Tyson (who I find almost as unlikable as Coach in his own way).
Still, if they get rid of Coach, the whole show might just collapse in on itself, as everyone falls asleep, camera crew, sound guys, prop crews, etc...it's just not happening this season. Maybe it's the editing? Everything just seems tired.
And let's face facts, here. Taj is an idiot. It's the only explanation.
I like Stephen -- well, I will like Stephen if and when he drops the other shoe (in confessional) and admits that this naive bumbling city kid routine is just an act.
2 of 21 | Posted by itchy | Posted on April 6, 2009 11:55 PM
Coach annoys me to no end. I know he keeps the show from being boring, but he is so outrageous, it almost makes me long for boring. And what's with the name "Coach"? What is that fuckers real name? I would not call him Coach. I would totally call him by his real name which I'm sure is Melvin or Herman. Coach sucks bung.
Joe needed to quit thinking with his cock. Yes, Sydney was pretty, but how far was that going to get him. Not far at all!!! I actually want to see Joe or Coach go next. Preferably Coach.
3 of 21 | Posted by Reesewitherspoon | Posted on April 7, 2009 1:49 AM
Once again, Coach does as little as possible in the challenges. Can't wait for the merger when this giant tool HAS to participate in ALL the challenges. Then we'll see some major failures from Coach, you betcha. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.
4 of 21 | Posted by briar | Posted on April 7, 2009 3:24 AM
Ben maybe? I think that fuckers real name is Ben.
5 of 21 | Posted by Tadow | Posted on April 7, 2009 3:55 AM
Wow...never knew Reese Witherspoon used such language! lol You go, Girl! I agree with everything she says, though. His name IS Ben...but I'd have to call him "Benji" just for the hell of it.
6 of 21 | Posted by Southern_Essence | Posted on April 7, 2009 6:10 AM
I can't stand Coach but his entertainment value keeps me hoping he sticks around (so long as he has 0% chance of winning this thing.) As previous posts have already stated, this season seems a little... sedated... so anything that keeps the curiosity piqued is a good thing. Yes, even (ugh) Coach.
Hopefully there will be a little Probst-mindfucks-Joe-and-tosses-the-fake-idol-into-the-fire action. I don't like him.
7 of 21 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on April 7, 2009 6:24 AM
I would call him Benjamin every chance I get because I hate that name, and no that is not my name.
8 of 21 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on April 7, 2009 6:26 AM
Schoonie, Schoonie, Schoonie: Love your recaps, but your take on hockey is way off the mark. Hockey is the LEAST boring sport there is. Some feel that low scoring equals boring. Not true. Maybe if each goal was worth six points it would change that erroneous perception. It's a completely fast-paced and amazing game.
But you're right about Joe. Most of this entire season is a big snoozefest. I keep waiting for something exciting to happen. I thought Taj was going to rock the place, but she seems to be slowy devolving. Maybe everyone's just trying to stay "under the radar" until the merge. Please, somebody step up and save this season!
9 of 21 | Posted by xqzmoi | Posted on April 7, 2009 7:25 AM
RE: "He thanks her by creating this amazingly awkward moment where he tries to hold her hand and wrap her up in his arms, and it's just scarily sad for both of them when she locks her arms together and looks beyond uncomfortable. The only thing that could have made this more awkward is the inclusion of a pencil moustache and a tank top."
This could have been a lot more uncomfortable if COACH had been doing it instead of JOE. Ewwww.
I can't believe COACH is getting any. I can't believe any woman would be so desperate to buy into COACH's Rico Suave crap. I bet even crack whores say NO to COACH. I suspect crack whores would rather go through withdrawal than have sex with coach.
BTW: Reese Witherspoon every time you use language like that all the straightee men "touch themselves" inappropriately.
Think about it before you use the C-word again.
10 of 21 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 7, 2009 8:19 AM
I will be humming MacArthur's Park all day now...
I have also begun plotting an appropriate revenge...perhaps creating a looped recording of Coach's most pithy and deep thoughts to play softly in your ear at night while you sleep would be a fair retaliation. You'll find yourself quoting him in no time...
11 of 21 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on April 7, 2009 9:07 AM
I loathe when people say they peed their pants or sprayed coffee on their monitor in regards to a clever recapper's comment. But this, sir, may well have warranted either or both of those reactions: "It's sort of like watching Hitler run through the sprinkler."
LOL, indeed.
12 of 21 | Posted by zbird | Posted on April 7, 2009 9:38 AM
Heh heh, Mr. Dangerous...it's like you're looking through a glazed window wondering just what the heck is going on in there. ;-D
But you perhaps haven't seen The Pickup Artist. The 'Jeff Probst' of that show is probably Coach's hero.
13 of 21 | Posted by itchy | Posted on April 7, 2009 9:50 AM
Itchy,
I have not seen The Pickup Artist but I'll rent it to find out what you're alluding to.
14 of 21 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:05 AM
It's a television show--it was on VH1 so you can probably still watch episodes at their site.
Brace yourself. :-p
15 of 21 | Posted by itchy | Posted on April 7, 2009 12:23 PM
Schoonie, I didn't piss myself or spew anything on the computer, but I did almost choke on a stray Chee-to at the "shrub in the corner of the shot" screencap. Thank you for that.
One thing I am confused (and ashamed) by, I didn't get the thing about the pigs and the barricades at all... normally I can follow you, but you kinda left me in the dust here: "When Coach drops a pig, both teams are tied at thirteen with ten seconds left in the game, and then Tyson makes a last minute throw to Coach, he rubs it in and Timbira wins the reward." Were they supposed to throw the pigs THROUGH the barricade? Where did Coach rub this pig? Is the pig okay? Can he sue the Coach? I'm getting a headache.
Anyhow, the rest of it I pretty much understood, nice job, bugaboo!
love, J-Mo :)
16 of 21 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on April 7, 2009 12:48 PM
P.S. Mr. Dangerous, actually the Internet Sensation recapped Season Two of "The Pickup Artist" on VH1, there's an archive over her work here.
love, J-Mo :)
17 of 21 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on April 7, 2009 12:50 PM
Great recap Schoonie. I spit coffee all over my cheetos while peeing my pants.
Does this coach character remind you a little of that guy (Shane? Was that his name? The skinny dude a couple of seasons back that had a son/tattoo named Boston and made a Blackberry out of a stick). Anyway, it's too bad Sydney had to go. She was, uh, fun to watch. Itchy: are you out of your mind? Sierra over Sydney? I don't get it.
Off topic: does anyone know why nobody's capping Dancing with the Stars?
18 of 21 | Posted by Timberwolf | Posted on April 8, 2009 8:34 AM
Timberwolf, Yes he was Shane.
I find it so ironic that Taj's careless hiding of the idol saved her from using the idol...if you think about it, Taj probably would have gone home if JT hadn't aligned with Taj and Steve.
19 of 21 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on April 8, 2009 11:21 AM
Timberrrr!
It's simple:
Shots of Sierra quite often require a blurred out spot in a strategically located position.
Sydney wore a guy's boxer shorts.
20 of 21 | Posted by itchy | Posted on April 8, 2009 11:49 AM
I must say her "idol" looked like crap. If I found it I would think it real until proven otherwise... But it still looks fake and crappy.
21 of 21 | Posted by gsensel | Posted on April 13, 2009 7:39 PM