Joe also mentions that he tried to "juice" Erinn for info, but couldn't get anything out of her. Well, that's because you were too busy making her think you were a pedophile. All of sudden he gets all abrupt and yells "I'm going to get some water!" and takes off sprinting for the treemail like a fool. He is fooling no one, of course, and the rest of them (save for Sydney) know exactly what he's doing. When he sticks his hand under the idol's skirt (dirty!) he pulls out the fake idol and immediately thinks it's real, becoming roughly the millionth person to fall for this ploy. Where do people keep getting the materials to make these things? Do they have Jo-Ann Fabrics in Brazil?
Once Taj wanders away, Joe tries to rally the troops to get rid of her. Taj pretty much figures out what's going on, but basically goes all "Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm safe tonight no matter what happens," given that she has the idol and two solid allies and has successfully inserted a fake idol into the proceedings. JT and Stephen discuss the vote, agreeing that they need to keep Taj around for the merge. Stephen is protecting his interests by keeping her around, but JT doesn't know that. JT tells us that Taj's idol "is "my idol, and there's no way I can vote my idol out of this game right now," he says presumptuously. That's a little bit of a stretch. I mean yeah, she said it and everything, but you can't automatically assume that it's going to be used for your personal gain. Then you end up looking like a douche.
JT and Stephen decide to try and get Joe on the same page so that they don't feel bad when they get rid of Sydney. Stephen tells Joe that Taj has such a great connection with the other tribe that keeping her around makes it more likely that they can flip someone. Of course, Stephen wants to keep her around for his own purposes, but he's not going to tell Joe that. Joe flat out tells them that there's no way he's voting out Sydney, since he "already told her she was going to the merge", and he doesn't want to break that. Since when is he in any sort of position to make statements like that, let alone stick to them? Most boring Machiavelli ever. "If JT and Steve don't really give me consideration, I might just hand over the idol to Sydney and make a point." And what point is that exactly? That you are both boring and beholden to the attractive? Consider it done. No need to waste your fake idol, loser.
JT and Stephen debate the upcoming tribal council some more. JT points out that if they get rid of Taj, the idol's gone as well. "Well, that's not true," Stephen says. "It's technically mine." Correct, technically. JT very slowly makes the connection that they'll get to keep the idol, and he has these really crazy eyes as it dawns on him. "We can kick Taj out right now and still keep the idol," he realizes. "This is terrible right now. I'm going to hell." For a minute they have me fooled, until the realization that Stephen is in control here since JT is a great guy, but a little behind the curve, and Stephen knows that he's screwed if they get rid of Taj, since his alliance with the other team depends entirely on her presence in the game.
Tribal Council. Jeff asks Stephen about the merge, and he mentions that sitting at four when the merge comes is a real problem for them. By the way, can we talk briefly about how much stupid stuff is said at Tribal Council? My notes, very frequently, say things like "Taj worries that she is vulnerable". That makes for a pretty boring recap. Tribal Council is the Joe of the recap world.
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Comments (21)
To answer your oft asked question, "Where do these people get this stuff to make the idols?", Probst says on his blog that the camps & challenges are purposely decorated with all kinds of doo-dads for just that reason. They love it when fake idols are made.
Anysnore, yup, Joe's boring and Taj can't keep her piehole shut.
1 of 21 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on April 6, 2009 9:55 PM
Sydney's supposed charms escaped me -- sure, she's pretty enough, but boring as all hell. I'm certain she's the type to just lie there waiting, taking a very very long time of it and making only very very quiet sighing sounds when (if) she's finally done. In other words, why even bother.
Sierra's much much hotter. You just know she's the type to move your head around to exactly where she needs it to be.
Which has me rooting for her team, even though that also means I'm rooting for Coach. And Debra. And Tyson (who I find almost as unlikable as Coach in his own way).
Still, if they get rid of Coach, the whole show might just collapse in on itself, as everyone falls asleep, camera crew, sound guys, prop crews, etc...it's just not happening this season. Maybe it's the editing? Everything just seems tired.
And let's face facts, here. Taj is an idiot. It's the only explanation.
I like Stephen -- well, I will like Stephen if and when he drops the other shoe (in confessional) and admits that this naive bumbling city kid routine is just an act.
2 of 21 | Posted by itchy | Posted on April 6, 2009 11:55 PM
Coach annoys me to no end. I know he keeps the show from being boring, but he is so outrageous, it almost makes me long for boring. And what's with the name "Coach"? What is that fuckers real name? I would not call him Coach. I would totally call him by his real name which I'm sure is Melvin or Herman. Coach sucks bung.
Joe needed to quit thinking with his cock. Yes, Sydney was pretty, but how far was that going to get him. Not far at all!!! I actually want to see Joe or Coach go next. Preferably Coach.
3 of 21 | Posted by Reesewitherspoon | Posted on April 7, 2009 1:49 AM
Once again, Coach does as little as possible in the challenges. Can't wait for the merger when this giant tool HAS to participate in ALL the challenges. Then we'll see some major failures from Coach, you betcha. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.
4 of 21 | Posted by briar | Posted on April 7, 2009 3:24 AM
Ben maybe? I think that fuckers real name is Ben.
5 of 21 | Posted by Tadow | Posted on April 7, 2009 3:55 AM
Wow...never knew Reese Witherspoon used such language! lol You go, Girl! I agree with everything she says, though. His name IS Ben...but I'd have to call him "Benji" just for the hell of it.
6 of 21 | Posted by Southern_Essence | Posted on April 7, 2009 6:10 AM
I can't stand Coach but his entertainment value keeps me hoping he sticks around (so long as he has 0% chance of winning this thing.) As previous posts have already stated, this season seems a little... sedated... so anything that keeps the curiosity piqued is a good thing. Yes, even (ugh) Coach.
Hopefully there will be a little Probst-mindfucks-Joe-and-tosses-the-fake-idol-into-the-fire action. I don't like him.
7 of 21 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on April 7, 2009 6:24 AM
I would call him Benjamin every chance I get because I hate that name, and no that is not my name.
8 of 21 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on April 7, 2009 6:26 AM
Schoonie, Schoonie, Schoonie: Love your recaps, but your take on hockey is way off the mark. Hockey is the LEAST boring sport there is. Some feel that low scoring equals boring. Not true. Maybe if each goal was worth six points it would change that erroneous perception. It's a completely fast-paced and amazing game.
But you're right about Joe. Most of this entire season is a big snoozefest. I keep waiting for something exciting to happen. I thought Taj was going to rock the place, but she seems to be slowy devolving. Maybe everyone's just trying to stay "under the radar" until the merge. Please, somebody step up and save this season!
9 of 21 | Posted by xqzmoi | Posted on April 7, 2009 7:25 AM
RE: "He thanks her by creating this amazingly awkward moment where he tries to hold her hand and wrap her up in his arms, and it's just scarily sad for both of them when she locks her arms together and looks beyond uncomfortable. The only thing that could have made this more awkward is the inclusion of a pencil moustache and a tank top."
This could have been a lot more uncomfortable if COACH had been doing it instead of JOE. Ewwww.
I can't believe COACH is getting any. I can't believe any woman would be so desperate to buy into COACH's Rico Suave crap. I bet even crack whores say NO to COACH. I suspect crack whores would rather go through withdrawal than have sex with coach.
BTW: Reese Witherspoon every time you use language like that all the straightee men "touch themselves" inappropriately.
Think about it before you use the C-word again.
10 of 21 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 7, 2009 8:19 AM
I will be humming MacArthur's Park all day now...
I have also begun plotting an appropriate revenge...perhaps creating a looped recording of Coach's most pithy and deep thoughts to play softly in your ear at night while you sleep would be a fair retaliation. You'll find yourself quoting him in no time...
11 of 21 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on April 7, 2009 9:07 AM
I loathe when people say they peed their pants or sprayed coffee on their monitor in regards to a clever recapper's comment. But this, sir, may well have warranted either or both of those reactions: "It's sort of like watching Hitler run through the sprinkler."
LOL, indeed.
12 of 21 | Posted by zbird | Posted on April 7, 2009 9:38 AM
Heh heh, Mr. Dangerous...it's like you're looking through a glazed window wondering just what the heck is going on in there. ;-D
But you perhaps haven't seen The Pickup Artist. The 'Jeff Probst' of that show is probably Coach's hero.
13 of 21 | Posted by itchy | Posted on April 7, 2009 9:50 AM
Itchy,
I have not seen The Pickup Artist but I'll rent it to find out what you're alluding to.
14 of 21 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:05 AM
It's a television show--it was on VH1 so you can probably still watch episodes at their site.
Brace yourself. :-p
15 of 21 | Posted by itchy | Posted on April 7, 2009 12:23 PM
Schoonie, I didn't piss myself or spew anything on the computer, but I did almost choke on a stray Chee-to at the "shrub in the corner of the shot" screencap. Thank you for that.
One thing I am confused (and ashamed) by, I didn't get the thing about the pigs and the barricades at all... normally I can follow you, but you kinda left me in the dust here: "When Coach drops a pig, both teams are tied at thirteen with ten seconds left in the game, and then Tyson makes a last minute throw to Coach, he rubs it in and Timbira wins the reward." Were they supposed to throw the pigs THROUGH the barricade? Where did Coach rub this pig? Is the pig okay? Can he sue the Coach? I'm getting a headache.
Anyhow, the rest of it I pretty much understood, nice job, bugaboo!
love, J-Mo :)
16 of 21 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on April 7, 2009 12:48 PM
P.S. Mr. Dangerous, actually the Internet Sensation recapped Season Two of "The Pickup Artist" on VH1, there's an archive over her work here.
love, J-Mo :)
17 of 21 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on April 7, 2009 12:50 PM
Great recap Schoonie. I spit coffee all over my cheetos while peeing my pants.
Does this coach character remind you a little of that guy (Shane? Was that his name? The skinny dude a couple of seasons back that had a son/tattoo named Boston and made a Blackberry out of a stick). Anyway, it's too bad Sydney had to go. She was, uh, fun to watch. Itchy: are you out of your mind? Sierra over Sydney? I don't get it.
Off topic: does anyone know why nobody's capping Dancing with the Stars?
18 of 21 | Posted by Timberwolf | Posted on April 8, 2009 8:34 AM
Timberwolf, Yes he was Shane.
I find it so ironic that Taj's careless hiding of the idol saved her from using the idol...if you think about it, Taj probably would have gone home if JT hadn't aligned with Taj and Steve.
19 of 21 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on April 8, 2009 11:21 AM
Timberrrr!
It's simple:
Shots of Sierra quite often require a blurred out spot in a strategically located position.
Sydney wore a guy's boxer shorts.
20 of 21 | Posted by itchy | Posted on April 8, 2009 11:49 AM
I must say her "idol" looked like crap. If I found it I would think it real until proven otherwise... But it still looks fake and crappy.
21 of 21 | Posted by gsensel | Posted on April 13, 2009 7:39 PM