This week on Survivor, Jean-Robert gets his sexism on, James pushes some trees down with his bare hands and then gets a good dig on Courtney, and Dave gets more annoying. And the chick with the mullet has apparently been rendered mute.
Night 6 at Fei Long. Jean-Robert is snoring his face off and grossing everyone out, including Leslie. "Maybe it's the silk shirt and the no underwear," she says, providing me with adequate visual stimuli so that I won't have to think about baseball for a really long time. Courtney tells us that JR is quite creepy as we get a montage of him getting all hands-y with all of the young women. This is where you begin to hypothesize that maybe some of JR's winnings maybe end up in the hands of some high class prostitutes. Leslie tells us that if they go to tribal council, at least they won't have to worry about who to vote out first, because it will be him. Then a raven inexplicably lands on her shoulder. Ravens are not indigenous to China, except in cases of ominous portent.
After the credits on Day 7, James and Amanda go to check the crab trap that they won at the last reward challenge and discover a single crab inside. A veritable feast! Fei Long tries to decide what to do with one crab for eight people, and Courtney comes up with the valid idea of boiling it and making stock, so that they can all have "crabby rice", which is the title of my first album. Aaron wants to do...something else, but doesn't offer any suggestions. He just doesn't want crabby rice. Seems like he's already eaten his fair share of crabby, as has everyone else, because they bitch and bitch and bitch for eight years like Dave is hiding somewhere in the bushes, and I would have loved it if the crab had just been like, "Fuck this. Peace out!" and scuttled off into the forest.
James tells us how hard it is to be around all of these people. Dude, you've got it good: do you see Rocky or Lisi anywhere? Thought not. He gets in a good line when he's like, "Am I the only one who went to Barnes & Noble before we got here?" He means that he thinks he's the only one that's done any survival research, but the way it comes out, he sounds more like he's pissed that no one's read the newest Chuck Klosterman collection. "I mean, his work is so prescient! How can you not appreciate his fondness for pop culture references and the occasional obscure band reference? It is so frustrating to live around these philistines!"
Now we head to Zhan Hu, where a random water mammal of some sort emerges from the water. It is seriously random. Also random: Dave appears to be cleaning the steps. This is undoubtedly one of the many things they all have to do before anyone can eat. The rest of the tribe lounges in the shelter, and Peih-Gee gets in a subtle dig when she is like, "Why don't you sit down and eat with us, because I don't want to lose another challenge." Dave, of course, does not understand that his ass almost got booted when he blew it for them last week, because he is Captain Oblivious, and everyone should bow down before him. The dialogue between Peih-Gee and Dave goes as you would expect: it becomes condescending and passive-aggressive from both sides until it devolves into a series of kissing noises. Dave tells us how dumb everyone is for not knowing that, "In order to have energy for the challege, you must efficiently expend some." Doing essential things like...cleaning the steps?
The rest of the tribe tries to sort out a design flaw in Dave's fire pit which keeps it from, you know, actually cooking things, while he gradually grows more pissed lying in the shelter by himself and flopping around all dramatically. While the group has a democratic discussion about how to fix this small thing, Dave gets all infuriated because he thinks that they are talking in circles instead of doing something. Trust me, Dave, I have been in many of those staff meetings, and this is not one of them. Instead of letting them sort it out themselves in the five minutes it would take, he stomps over to camp and grabs a brick and tells them how they should stop talking and "just get it done" and I was really hoping that Sherea would just form tackle him here. Sadly, she does not.
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Comments (13)
Thanks for another hilarious recap schoonie! I am so glad that this show isn't on cable. The sight of Lunch Lady's lunch box might well have blinded me. I didn't know Janet Reno had a sister!
1 of 13 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on October 7, 2007 9:59 PM
Schoonie, you have made a sirloin steak out of hash. These episodes blow donkeys. One would think that after all these seasons the applicants for the show would be better equipped and prepared. My guess is that the producers cull the good ones out and go for the nut jobs that are either clueless, ineffectual or maybe both. This is turning out to be a disaster and I think our interest is waning already. Hey, after three days from your post I'm # 2?? WTF?
2 of 13 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on October 8, 2007 5:25 AM
Shoonie
Great recaps - as usual! It's been hard to get behind this season - but maybe because last season was so outstanding. However, there is promise - and the "kidnapping" concept is a definite plus.
3 of 13 | Posted by Channel Dasher | Posted on October 8, 2007 10:15 AM
I think James spelled her name "Lesile" at tribe council, which made me laugh for some reason.
This season is definitely not that great yet, hope it picks up soon. You did a nice job on the recap though.
4 of 13 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on October 8, 2007 12:34 PM
I am actually really enjoying this season so far. Especially after the crap fest that was BB8. And Schoonie's recaps add to that enjoyment. Much like the crap fest that was BB8. It's nice to have fewer contestants so we can get to know them all (except for the Mulleted One) sooner.
I think it was a great idea to get rid of Leslie. If people are calling her "Mom," she is obviously popular. Aaron made a good point that if she bonded with the other tribe then she will be a liability come the merge. They do still need Jean-Robert's strength and Courtney is not a threat. I'm worried about Todd and his "trash" comments. He seemed like he was going to play smartly but if he lets his emotions get too involved, that could hurt his gameplay.
Speaking of gameplay, what was up with Leslie's? She tried out for Survivor 5 years in a row!! You'd think she would have a bigger clue about the social aspect of the game.
And as a completely nonreligious person, why do reality TV Christians either have to be totally gung-ho, Born Agains or everyone else are heathen atheists? *shrug* I guess the Powers that Be pick people who are on extreme opposite ends of the spectrum in order to make good TV, but the whole oppressed Christian contestant character is really played out. If you are truly practicing being Christ-like than love & accept everyone for who they are -- no matter how they label themselves. And do it quietly. We haven't seen Mormon Todd bust out with the tracts yet have we? And Mormons are notorious proselytizers. (I lived in UT. I know of which I speak.)
Anyhoo, don't want to turn this into a religious forum. Just wanted to comment. Much like the bitchy black woman stereotype, the naively gullible, oppressed Christian stereotype is done.
5 of 13 | Posted by subgenre | Posted on October 8, 2007 1:08 PM
Agreed, subgenre. I want to blame editing for all the bible-thumping, but seriously, it's like you said, either your a gung-ho, or a ho-atheist. There's no middle ground here. What is James orientation? I would worship at his temple... mmm.
Schoonie - great recap.
I wanted to gag when Courtney said to the camera: "Look at me, I weigh, like, seven pounds!" It's bad enough your that skinny, chick, but don't make it worse by announcing it to the world.
6 of 13 | Posted by Krizzatch![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on October 8, 2007 2:15 PM
Glad that Leslie got voted off. This is another example of why God never helps people on reality shows. But I'm bummed at the same time, because I was hoping I would see an Amber reference with her.
7 of 13 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on October 8, 2007 7:29 PM
Glad that Leslie got voted off. This is another example of why God never helps people on reality shows. But I'm bummed at the same time, because I was hoping I would see an Amber reference with her.
8 of 13 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on October 8, 2007 7:34 PM
Were the swords dull? How else can you not chop through rope with one? I was astonished!
The only thing that would have made the freeze frames better would have been a cartoon caption bubble for each cast member.
If Courtney had started to cry she would have completely dessicated like a sponge left on the sink and not used for days. She would have turned into the Crypt Teaser.
If Jesus was really on Leslie's side he would have turned her torch into one of those magic birthday candles that you can never blow out.
9 of 13 | Posted by InsideThePerimeter | Posted on October 9, 2007 6:28 AM
Were the swords dull? How else can you not chop through rope with one? I was astonished!
The only thing that would have made the freeze frames better would have been a cartoon caption bubble for each cast member.
If Courtney had started to cry she would have completely dessicated like a sponge left on the sink and not used for days. She would have turned into the Crypt Teaser.
If Jesus was really on Leslie's side he would have turned her torch into one of those magic birthday candles that you can never blow out.
10 of 13 | Posted by InsideThePerimeter | Posted on October 9, 2007 6:40 AM
Lunch Box lady, hee hee hee. Too funny.
I'm loving this season. Everyone seems to forget that most seasons start off dull. We don't know the people yet and they haven't forged any real relationships yet.
Last season really took a while to get going but ended up being one of the best. Let's give this bunch a chance so they can really start hating on each other and stabbing each other in the back.
11 of 13 | Posted by Niffy | Posted on October 9, 2007 10:28 AM
schoon said: "The girls go again, and Zhan Hu completely dominates again when they take Leslie and Amanda out early and then get Denise the cafeteria lady on her back, exposing her, um, lunchbox to the viewing audience for roughly twelve minutes. Give the blurring people a raise!"
had me a good 'ole LOL on that line... still giggling thinking about it. and no kidding about her being a mute... have we heard her speak ONCE on the show yet????
i said this in the forums too... Courtney is without a doubt the skinniest little thing i have EVER seen (over the age of 12). a few more days on 'crabby rice' and girlfriend is gonna blow away on a gentle breeze.
which is why i am now rooting for her.
PDS
12 of 13 | Posted by poor, dead shannon | Posted on October 10, 2007 5:49 AM
[QUOTE]no matter how they label themselves. And do it quietly. We haven't seen Mormon Todd bust out with the tracts yet have we? And Mormons are notorious proselytizers.[/QUOTE]
well, maybe this is because the Morman Church kicked the poor gay stewardess out of the church and grabbed all of his trifold tracts and white button down, black tie, brass name tag on his way out the door to the rainbow parade........ serioulsy ..........
I think this show is off to a grand start... and I am also wondering why Schoonie is signed into and NOT placing any bets on Fantasy Survivor???
13 of 13 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on October 10, 2007 9:14 AM