Join us for another episode of Survivor, where the people who suck continue to suck, the people who are sort of cool get sort of cooler, and many, many boobies are blurred.
The pre-credits sequence puts us at Zhan Hu on Day 4. Dave is talking with everyone about placement of a fire pit. He pretends that it is a group discussion, but...it is not. He recommends one place, and everyone else suggests somewhere else. But, guess what? Everyone else is wrong. Dave basically tells them that he's making an executive decision (what does he think he is, this tribes Project Manager?) and that they're all going to follow his orders. He tells them that talking about it just wastes time and energy that they could be using to build things, so they should all shut up and do what he says because they're just wasting their breath. To translate: "Disagreeing with me is a waste of your time."
Jaime has decided not to fool with Dave anymore, so she points out that maybe they should get started so that they can eat some of that rice before the challenge that they will likely be having this afternoon. Dave condescends all over her for being foolish enough to suggest that eating and success go hand in hand as we segue into the credits. Well, if Dave can make me hate him that much before the credits even roll, I think his efficient use of time can be redirected so that everyone can eat before the Reward Challenge. Or not.
Credits. The panda does not get his name captioned, which I think is a travesty.
Day 4 at Fei Long. Everyone works except for Jean-Robert, who is sleeping. Loudly. James is somewhere pushing a tree down with his bare hands, while JR saws logs. Get it? Oh god, I am hilarious. Courtney calls Jean-Robert "the D student of the tribe", while she talks about what a lazy-ass he is. Well, that's not fair, because she's from the city that never sleeps. In the forest, Amanda and Todd forge an alliance. They discuss pulling Aaron in as their third, because that will provide them with an extra layer of protection, due to the fact that they can pretty much blame whatever they want on him when things go wrong. So right then and there by the treemail box, they make a final three alliance. I'm thinking it might be a bit early for this, especially because three is not greater than half of eight, which is what they need to be worrying about right now.
Aaron calls a tribe meeting, where they discuss getting into some sort of routine. Jean-Robert believes that this routine should begin with a hearty nap, as one does during most staff meetings. Leslie: (eyeroll). Courtney: (eyeroll). Aaron, awesomely: "Jean-Robert, you need to start pulling your weight." JR tells us that he's considered "one of the bad boys of poker". Once you refer to yourself as a "bad boy", that pretty much refutes the distinction. All of this happens from a confessional in the water, and it sort of looks like...well, this:
He tells us that he's being lazy right now so that later, when he's doing work, it will look like he's some sort of workhorse. I'm sure you guys don't need me to tell you that this is not a very good idea.
Hey, more pandas! Eating bamboo! Pandas: editing segue for the ages.
Zhan Hu is gathering mud bricks to make their fire pit. Dave, of course, is making all sorts of grunting noises to draw attention to all of the work he is doing, so that you know that he is fearless and brave. Jaime, who is doing her part and hauling bricks, tells someone off-camera that she'd be doing much better if she had a little food. She's complaining, but I can see her point: if I hadn't eaten in three days, I'd probably want a little rice in me before I built a fire pit. They have all the tools to make more than one fire, so logically, they should eat and then work on amenities like a full-scale fire pit. It's like if the team without the nice camp from last season (Ravu?) had been given fire, and then Rocky or someone had piped up and gone, "How can we eat, when we don't have a porch swing yet!" and then made everyone build a swing before eating. I'd be bitching too. Dave is a shitty leader.
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Comments (14)
Hey, Schoonie. She's supposed to spend 33 days with Chicken. But good thought.
1 of 14 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on September 29, 2007 6:48 PM
Brilliant recap! I loved the Chinese for "Up here, Dummy."
But I'm relieved to be rid of Ashley. The only thing that could have made her demise more perfect is if she had erupted in a Chikenesque "DAMN!" on her way out.
2 of 14 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on September 29, 2007 8:19 PM
I think I love you Schoon!! (May I call you Schoon??) You have reached the highest level of recapper, the coveted "B-Side Badge".
Many have tried, no others have succeeded. You capture my feelings and thoughts so PERFECTLY and with such sarcasm & wit.
It is all so perfect. You make Survivor 10X better with these superb recaps!!
I heart Schoonie =)
LONG LIVE THE SCHOON!!!
3 of 14 | Posted by so911babe | Posted on September 29, 2007 10:54 PM
Great recap Schoonie. Now, Please! Give me the pics of James!
4 of 14 | Posted by tadow | Posted on September 30, 2007 6:12 AM
Great recap Schoonie. Now, Please! Give me the pics of James!
5 of 14 | Posted by tadow | Posted on September 30, 2007 6:14 AM
Awesome recap, Schoonie!
Was anyone as irritated as I was by Dave's constant mugging during Tribal Council? What a tool.
6 of 14 | Posted by Frenchy | Posted on September 30, 2007 11:20 AM
....roving poisoned toys... indigenous to the wilds of China. That made me chuckle!
Sooo many boobies falling out all over the place... it's sure to be a blurry season. Don't adjust your sets!
Great recap Schoonie...
7 of 14 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on September 30, 2007 11:59 AM
There's nothing more annoying, and disingenuous, than someone saying "please, keep me in check, that's what I want as a leader," as Dave said in Tribal Council. God, I hate him!
I was on Ashley's side for the most part, especially when she flat out said, "I'm voting for Dave." There were a few times though where Dave actually wasn't being condescending and she tried to create something offensive out of it.
Loved the scene with James literally just pushing over a whole tree.
8 of 14 | Posted by fycin | Posted on September 30, 2007 12:01 PM
roving poisoned toys.... indigenous to the wilds of China... made me chuckle!
The boobies are flying this season, lots of blurring... don't adjust your sets...
Great recap Schoonie...
9 of 14 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on September 30, 2007 12:05 PM
roving poisoned toys.... indigenous to the wilds of China... made me chuckle!
The boobies are flying this season, lots of blurring... don't adjust your sets...
Great recap Schoonie...
10 of 14 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on September 30, 2007 12:07 PM
Loved it! The picture of the hippo was great! Dave is an ass. Glad to see Ashley go but I was hoping she'd get her lip caught on a branch first. Leslie doesn't bother me all that much but I gotta admit, she's making me miss Amber sooooo much, you guys, you just don't know!
11 of 14 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on September 30, 2007 1:21 PM
Schoonie,
I love your recaps because you are a real fan of "Survivor," who knows the rules of the game and recognizes the idiocy of its players (and host).
Frenchy #6 asked: Was anyone as irritated as I was by Dave's constant mugging during Tribal Council?
Yes, I was irritated. Please not another Nathan (Cook Islands).
I get a Richard Hatch, Jr. vibe from Dave. I wonder if he hopes to parlay his time on Survivor into a motivational speaker career. He's bring EST back! woot!
I am really hoping that Zhan Hu's poor challenge performances is not the start of another lopsided first half of the season AGAIN! I am so tired of the one side winning constantly over the other. (Pagong!) I was hoping that this season was getting back to the basics: 16 people, a pot of rice and some more balanced play. It is so boring when one side wins constantly. When the other side loses, the camera tends to stay on that tribe, thus we learn a lot about these people who will be gone before the merge and nothing about the people who will dominate the second half of the season. I want to know about the social dynamic on both tribes and not just on the losing tribe.
The Shanghai'ed kidnap twist may get old quickly. However, it opens some interesting possibilities to influence people from the opposite tribe before the merge. Hmm. It certainly beats the Exile Island, which last season seemed like a reward and not a punishment. It would be even better if they could not kidnap the same person twice in a row, thus negating the "Candice Experience."
Does anyone think Todd is as crafty and "devious" as his tribemates seem to think he is? So far he seems like a friendly guy, who because he is small and gay is not a threat to men or women and this is why people seem to like him. I just don't get "Powerhouse" player from him.
12 of 14 | Posted by subgenre | Posted on October 1, 2007 10:10 AM
@ subgenre: Todd thinks so. Isn't that enough?
Schoonie- you have no idea how happy I am that both Survivor and you are back! (in that order... sorry) Great recap!!
13 of 14 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on October 1, 2007 8:36 PM
Hey Schoonie! Great to see more of your beautiful work. I honestly couldn't finish this episode, one, it was late, and two, could not take one more second of Dave, not one, and now that I've read about what happened, I'm thankful, but I can't believe they didn't ditch that tool--what was so wrong with PG leading anyway . . . bet they regretted that choice.
Just one request . . . perhaps Aaron and James literally mud wresting in skimpy wet undies isn't something you'd enjoy capping, but I have a feeling a few people here might (not me of course, juddfan that I am) HEART!!!!
14 of 14 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 2, 2007 6:04 PM