Seriously, when will they learn that you NEVER bid on the second covered item?? This drives me crazy every season. Jeff tempts you with something good under the first lid, then the second one is some piece of shit local delicacy. Although if I had get something like that, chicken hearts isn't all that bad.

haha I actually like chicken hearts. Adobo style. I don't LOVE them but I like them. But I grew up in the Philippines. We eat all kinds of interesting things.
I still can't believe how delusional Coach is. I cannot wait for him to get voted out.

"'I played against Ray Lewis, but I can't deal with snakes, scorpions and spiders.' Hey, at least a scorpion doesn't try to kill you and then hide from the police in the trunk of its car."

Hahahaha.

It's mnenomic device, sweetie. I think pneumonic means filled with air. That sounds more like Coach than JT (if it's hot air, anyway).

Fixed. RecapperFAIL!

"Wait a second, who is Joe?"

I had that same thought.

"Totally fetch." Tee hee

Sorry Schoonie, but strategical is a word. For whatever reason, I have printed dictionaries dating back to 1950. "Strategical" appears in every one. I know some people love to bash George W. Bush and Southerners, but sadly in this case, you are grammatically incorrect. Google it! You know on the internet (that thing Al Gore invented...)

Gee...I wonder of Debbie felt KICKED IN THE FACE...

Damn, I am full of mistakes! It looks like 'strategical' is interchangeable with 'strategic', according to a certain Miss Miriam-Webster. It is an unnecessary word, but it is nonetheless real.

So do you guys just read these things to look for mistakes, or what?

Sorry Schoonie, I love you and your recaps. You're my favoritist (sic) recapper evah (sic). I was really looking forward it since Thursday night and happy to see it up early. Just touched a nerve, I guess. Oddly, it didn't bother me when you rightly mocked Debbie's "supposebly!" Note to self: start taking meds again...

Anyway, you rock, and this recap was awesome. I absolutely DIED when Douche recounted to his ASSistant Coach how everyone calls him "Dragon Slayer." WTF??? I could not hate him more, but much as it pains me to say, Probst is right in that he provides unbelievable entertainment. How sad that he thinks we're laughing with him instead of AT him.

Great picture captions of Stephen's death glare. I love him and hope he can geek his way to the win in a way Yauman couldn't!

I'm not angry at all! And I know you guys love me, it was gentle mockery.

I just had a thought: if these reality show producers had any game at all, they'd run a special Recappers edition of Survivor.

That's right, pit Schoonie against the idiots at TWOP, the lamers at Realityfan dot org, the potheads at SurvivorSucks, etc. etc.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Or would most of the cast be composed of pasty, somewhat overweight gay guys? (just kidding, sheesh!...still, it'd be like Project Runway in the jungle...)

I don't think they'll get rid of Coach just yet -- keeping him means a guaranteed win (or narrows the field to just two if it's a stupid three-way final).

Stephen has to realize how much a threat JT is to his chances of winning. Unless he has already decided that he's good for the 100k (I'm assuming his job pays pretty well in real life) and WANTS JT to get the mil?

But I kind of see Stephen working things out with Erinn.

I just wish the camera would linger just a little bit longer on Sierra, now that she's cleaned up and smiling.

Thanks for another great recap, Schoonie.

Does anyone else feel sorry for Coach's nameless Assistant? What an awful job, having to listen to Coach talk about Coach all day. And then having to be flown deep into the jungle to listen to him, because he has no friends and his family hates him. Can't wait to see his face when he's voted out, and what kind of stupid question he asks of the final 2. Any bets he'll make it about himself somehow?

I was kind of surprised that Cooch's guest was his Asst Coach. I mean... didn't he tell his team that he was away getting treated for cancer? Or was he just lying about lying? Not that he would lie... even about lying... because the two most important things to him are honesty-integrity and courage. Douchebag. He really should have been voted off this week instead of Debbie only because they could be sure that he didn't have immunity. He -could- win it next week, never know. And we definitely don't want that loser in the final 4. Gross.

Schoonie, you are made of Teh Awesome. Thanks for another great recap.

Quote: I just wish the camera would linger just a little bit longer on Sierra, now that she's cleaned up and smiling.

I have been watching the newest Ponderosa videos (since Debbie got there) and Sierra looks a lot like Kate Hudson in some of the shots, especially on the beach! Maybe it's just me...

RE: “Man, I can't even remember my own address most of the time.”
HEY, stop drinking so much, mister.

Coach is still an idiot in my book and I enjoy laughing at what comes out of his mouth but I kinda felt sorry for him during this episode. His “family or friend” is a co-worker!? Okay, that’s just sad.

Schoonie you’re my favorite recapper after Flipit, Hypnotoad, HoneyGangsta and BBitz. I like your recaps because you remind me of my brother.

JT or Stephen for the win. Taj doesn’t need the money. Stephen doesn’t need the money. I suspect JT could use the money. Stephen still appears to be smitten with JT so I don’t think he’ll object to JT’s winning.

Coach is kind of like the William Hung of Survivor, isn't he? He's the only one not in on the joke. I loved the look on his face when Probst read the one vote for him. Ooooh he was pissed. Hopefully he goes on another rant about courage/cowards/honesty. Or maybe invent a new yoga move. And when he's in the jury questioning the final 2? Oh that will be a speech for the ages. I will be there with a bottle of wine loving every minute of it, Loverboy!

http : // tinyurl. com / odx8kv

The lies have been in circulation for quite some time. This guy's a con man.

I have access to some pretty good databases as part of my work, and I can find nothing about either Ben or Pete Wade.

So if anyone has written about them, it must have been a pretty tiny newspaper.

The article about the kayack trip which supposedly says that he broke a world record is a Honduran newspaper. And they got their story from Cooch himself. Funny how there are no supporting documents anywhere.

I read the bio and it was incredible how narcissistic it was. How did these amazing brothers from such amazing parents exist for so long without ANYONE ever hearing about all of their amazing-ness (there's a non-word for you, Schoonie!).

I love where he says that Tom Hanks took part his story to use in the movie Castaway. Really? Because Tom Hanks has no writing credit at all for the movie. And the guy who DID write it? He isn't exactly a hack. He also wrote Apollo 13, Flags of our Fathers, Jarhead, Polar Express, Unfaithful, etc. Yeah, he needed fucking COACH to help him tell a story. What a douche.

The bio in the link claims he or they were written up in newspapers in California and Arkansas.

Maybe it's the kind of newspaper that doesn't get taken up into database archives-- the Watchtower?

ok, what is with probst's blog and sierra dating a producer? Is that real?

Can't wait till the reunion this weekend...that douchekaloid coach will get what he deserves...

Pappy, are you saying there is only ONE episode left on Thursday, then the finale (and reunion) on Sunday???

Bwahahaha! Hilarious, as always, Schoonster. I seriously laughed out loud several times, especially about this: “she sits there looking like the Benedict Arnold, if Benedict Arnold needed remedial math classes.”

I am really enjoying this season. Mostly, I cannot wait for Coach’s impending ouster and perhaps, perhaps, his ultimate realization that he is truly a tool and the world sees him as a fool.

BTW: Much to my dismay, both strategical and ironical are, apparently, real words. But IMO they are completely unnecessary and I scoff at the fools who choose to use them (unless we're talking about George Orwell. I seem to recall him using "ironical" in 1984, and he can do no wrong in my book, so it’s all good).

I believe it was Ray Carruth who committed murder and hid in his trunk, not Ray Lewis.

Tvlover, you're probably right. Ray Lewis didn't kill anybody--he was just there when somebody was killed and was charged, but then the charge was dropped.

If Coach has a brother, why didn't he come to visit him?

It's true, I feel bad that Coach doesn't even have a mom or a sister or someone who still loves him, in spite of it all. I mean, they were getting a free trip to Brazil! You'd think there would be some relative or someone who could be described as a friend.

Yes, Clair, there is only one regular episode left.

Is Coach going to get "injured"?

someone over at Probst's blog posted a link to an article in Honduras This Week, March 1997 about 25 year old Ben Wade breaking the kayaking world record. He is interviewed, and it seriously sounds like a totally different guy - talks almost exclusively about his relationship with and mission from God. Of course he throws in some BS about communing with dolphins, doesn't mention the natives craving his asshole, and barely mentions drinking the poison water he bought from those villagers who were all crammed in a gasoline drum (cattyfan FTW!!)

Reading it gave me pause - is he really just getting a bad edit? He might be, but the rest of the Survivors also think he is a douche so it cannot be that far off base. I'm so conflicted. Maybe Coach is only 3/4 the douchebag I think he is...

The actual world kayaking distance record was set in the early 1980s and was way farther than Coach claims to have gone.

And Coach IS a god-tool. Worse, he's an off-the-deep-end jesus freak type, which explains the fake Hebrew scrawled on his arm. It's also part of what makes it possible that he really is as much of an idiot as they're showing him to be. It's not like religion is about rational thought, after all.

Oh yeah, and he's supposedly only 38? I'd give him at least 10 years more. Must have been those years cranked out on meth.

Real atlanta girl, did you read the bio that someone posted earlier (tinyurl). Clearly the Wade Brothers' parents raised two boys amazingly gifted in fiction and public relations. They should really work as the ones who spin the news releases after politicians screw up. Amazing. I found his dad's page and it does look like he did what they say, though probably not in the aggrandizing way they made it sound. And that is where I think they go wrong. They don't out and out lie... they just take a small truth and embellish. So Ben DID go on a kayak trip but it got turned into a world record breaking one. His dad and brother did come up with a theorem, but it was only published in one math journal. It wasn't this ground breaking discovery they claim it to be.

And I think it speaks volumes that his father, who seems normal, and his brother who, from the bio, seems to be very close to him didn't come to the island. They are all world travellers so you would think one of them would come to Brazil. Kind of sad, really.

itchy,

I know you have irrational, huge hate for religion in general and Christianity in particular...but no "Jesus Freak" would have representations of multiple religions scrawled on his body, because beliefs of other religions/gods is contrary to following Christ (viewed by Christians as the One True God.)

Coach is into "Spirituality," not religion...the differnece being "spirituality" doesn't give you set guidelines. It's all about rationallizing whatever you want to do at that moment...hence the amalgamation of different religions he's chosen. He picks and chooses the beliefs that are convenient.

He's an idiot...he's delusional...and he's at least 48, not 38. But since he lied about cancer, pygmies trying to eat him, and the origin of his title as "Dragon Slayer," should we be surprised if he lies about his age, too?

HELLO!!!! Coach is playing a character because it gets air time and because it keeps people from really targeting him as any real threat, because they think he is so stupid and full of himself. In a sense, he reminds me of Sugar last year. Her and her Daddy issues dominated the final episodes and now Coach's god complex have completed dominated this show! Coach may not win the game, but he is going to use his 15 minutes to parlay it into some new ventures.... he is more of a schemer than anyone has given him credit for and, if you notice, everyone HE has targeted has left the game.