This week on Survivor, Probst falls in man-love with James. Also, James eats enough to feed the current population of Sierra Leone for approximately three months. Did I mention that James is still on the show, even though he should have been voted out like three weeks ago? Because he is. And he's eating everything. Hide your fruit snacks, people!
The morning after the Jean-Robert Tribal Council. You can always tell which votes were mandates because there's no night vision fighting immediately afterwards. If I can't watch hungry people heckle each other while looking creepily like the raccoons that rifle through my trash can, why even watch this show? I guess you could watch it for the strategy, but...look at these people.
James tells us YET AGAIN about what a good position he's in, and how now he sort of has the luxury of being rude to whomever he wants, because he's making the final five irrespective. You know what? He's totally right! It's not like the people he dislikes need to vote for him to win the money at the end or anything. Oh, wait.
So, to celebrate his newfound ability to be an even bigger jackass than he was already being, he strolls over to the shelter where everyone else is sleeping and composes a loud, off-key song that consists mostly of "good mornings". He's essentially Evel Dicking all of them. Be careful, James, this show isn't fixed! You can't just do whatever you want and win anyway. The song, it is horrid to listen to. I have had just about enough of the random singing on reality shows. James, have you met Ronald? You guys would get along great.
Everyone wakes up and looks at him like "Thanks...douche." You can tell that they're all kind of scared of him, which is completely ridiculous, and also explains a whole lot. Apparently the list of people that James doesn't like and can now afford to be rude to includes everybody.
Denise worries about last night's vote, because she was not privy to the fact that everyone was going to be voting for Jean-Robert. She feels doomed, because she thinks she'll be left in the dust if she switches sides and first out if she doesn't. Denise tells us that she feels like she can't trust her own allies. Hm, I wonder what she could do about that? It's not like there are enough people around to orchestrate a coup or anything. Oh, WAIT.
She talks to James about last night's vote and her feelings and whatnot, and James feeds her a line of bullshit about it, which she promptly buys. See, I don't think you're allowed to wear a mullet like that and be this insecure. What is going on with this chick? It's like, you can be a delicate flower with tiny feelings, or you can have a mullet. You can't do both. A mullet is your hair's way of telling the world "I don't give a shit what you think about me", so you probably shouldn't be whining about how all alone you are. After all, your hair is your head suit.
Later, James cooks food while Peih-Gee looms, offering "helpful" suggestions which are not at all helpful and are instead really annoying. Wait, haven't I dated her before? I think I may have. Todd tells us how Peih-Gee is taking Jean-Robert's place as The Annoying One, and while her tendency to be a little pushy can't be endearing her to them, I think this is a case where people are bonding over a common enemy and everything is getting overblown.
Todd also talks about how Courtney and Frosti are getting a little too close for this comfort, which is worrisome to him. This occurs over a show of Courtney running her hand through his hair. Look how close they are! If he doesn't hurry up and vote one of them out, she might start rubbing his back, and that will proceed to heavy petting, and pretty soon the gays will be getting married! The world will go to hell, I tell you!
And even though I actually sort of dig Courtney now, considering that she's gotten off a few great lines over the past few weeks, but with Amanda there, I don't see how you can't try and go after her. What is Courtney, funny or something?
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Comments (12)
Okay, Schoonie, you're freaking hilarious and I love the 30 Rock quote you got in there (Never go with a hippie to a second location, by the way) but PLEEEEASE don't start liking Courtney! Yes, she has had some funny lines, but I can't get behind someone who is that emotionally transparent. She's like all those other insecure girls whose mood is completely defined by whether a boy is paying attention to her or likes her. Boo, Jean-Robert doesn't like me, I'm sad, yay, Frosti is paying attention to me, I'm happy! BLECCHHHH!!!
And this season may be kinda meh, but I will never forget Probst throwing the fake idol into the fire. He's such an ass! I love him!
1 of 12 | Posted by fycin | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:26 PM
Okay, Schoonie, you're freaking hilarious and I love the 30 Rock quote you got in there (Never go with a hippie to a second location, by the way) but PLEEEEASE don't start liking Courtney! Yes, she has had some funny lines, but I can't get behind someone who is that emotionally transparent. She's like all those other insecure girls whose mood is completely defined by whether a boy is paying attention to her or likes her. Boo, Jean-Robert doesn't like me, I'm sad, yay, Frosti is paying attention to me, I'm happy! BLECCHHHH!!!
And this season may be kinda meh, but I will never forget Probst throwing the fake idol into the fire. He's such an ass! I love him!
2 of 12 | Posted by fycin | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:29 PM
grrrr. double post. sorry!
3 of 12 | Posted by fycin | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:32 PM
Wait, what? You're a Peih-Gee fan? The same woman who blatantly THREW A CHALLENGE, arrogantly laughed about it, told James he was next to go after wats-hiz-name, then wondered why they couldn't get James on their side when the tide turned? As annoying as James is, I assumed you'd have a field day with Peih-Gee's hypocracy about "don't talk to me about throwing challenges..". James couldn't throw anything but a fit - he just can't bounce a ball, for crying out loud. That's not the same as purposely throwing a challenge - not even close. Her strategy is lame - I can't stand her entitled attitude. But I guess at least she has strategy. Not a James fan either, btw. I'm rooting for the virgin. Also, Schoonie - NO mention of Probst's cryptic "we have more business" announcement and making them stay at tribal at the end of the episode? Whassup with that? I'm reeeeealy curious, but not enough to scan the message boards for spoilers. Thanks for the great recap.
4 of 12 | Posted by sillygrrl | Posted on November 19, 2007 8:38 PM
Haha...loved the mullet talk! Good stuff! I agree. I would think Denise would be more secure.
I'm really disliking almost everyone this season.
Denise seems nice enough, so I don't mind her. And Amanda? Apparently I've been asleep this season, because I just noticed her this week. Has she been there the whole time?? :)
Other than those two, everyone else just annoys me.
If your recaps didn't keep me going, I probably wouldn't watch this season. Hm. OK, maybe that's not entirely true. But, I'm still not loving this season.
5 of 12 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on November 19, 2007 9:36 PM
Allow me to retort:
"The same woman who blatantly THREW A CHALLENGE" -
You have to see beyond the challenge throwing itself. Yeah, she threw a challenge, but for strategic reasons to attempt to give herself an advantage in the game. If she hadn't, and they had won that challenge? Sherea would have gone home, then Frosti, then she would have been voted out by Aaron and James at the merge anyway. Doing something for strategic purposes is completely different than giving up because you don't feel like playing, which is what James did. At least she had a reason for it. He was just being lame. There's no "hypocrisy", to me.
"arrogantly laughed about it" - That was Jaime. And she was laughing because they were too dumb to figure it out, which they were.
"told James he was next to go after wats-hiz-name" - I don't remember this part. She didn't tell James he was next, she told him she saved his ass and that he owed her, which was again a strategic decision, so that makes two more than we've seen James make all season.
"then wondered why they couldn't get James on their side when the tide turned" - For the tide to turn, it would have had to be on Peih-Gee's side in the first place, which it never was. Throwing the challenge was an attempt to turn the tide, arguably the only one she had.
I guess I just don't see any hypocrisy there. I see James walking around like he's done something for the past 30 days or whatever, when he's done absolutely nothing other than be the accidental beneficiary of Todd's idiocy. Then he treats everyone else like shit just because he can. I see Peih-Gee thinking out her moves and then making the one that she thinks will benefit her most. Even though they're not working, necessarily, at least she's doing something besides being a total dickwad.
6 of 12 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on November 19, 2007 9:56 PM
Peih-Gee usually seems like she's pretty smart, so I got irritated really quickly when she didn't realize she was using the wrong drum in the reward challenge. She actually did pretty well with the tall skinny one, but common sense would say that you'd have more control with the larger drum ... just sayin'. Although, James had that one, and he couldn't have kept the ball alive if all 12 cheeseburgers depended on it, so who knows ... :)
Then, wtf was Todd thinking not participating in the immunity challenge?? Look at your alliance, dude, you're the only one who might be able to beat Peih-Gee in a puzzle challenge. I bet that inner fat kid wasn't even satisfied since James stole all the burgers. Was it really worth it, Todd?
This season is a total disappointment .. no one to root for, and not even anyone who sucks as a person, but is fun to watch (a la Rob C or Jonny Fairplay)
7 of 12 | Posted by myfavoritesunglasses | Posted on November 19, 2007 10:20 PM
What I am trying to understand is why any guy would think Courtney is hot...don't guys like BOOBS???
8 of 12 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on November 20, 2007 2:29 AM
Go James. Go Todd. Go Amanda. Go Erik.
I realize that a lot of guys will be jealous and envious of James for obvious reasons. I'm sure James has had to put up with jealously and envy (from other men!) all his life.
As for that skank, Courtney, she really does remind me of the Cryptmaster from Tales from the Crypt.
9 of 12 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on November 20, 2007 8:29 AM
~Seriously, who under the age of 12 still argues like this? What an asshole.~
Clearly, you don't watch Fox News.
I thought James had a point. Peih-Gee is a proven loser, and she wasn't exactly lighting the world on fire during that challenge herself. She didn't need to win when she threw a challenge, and James didn't need to win when he gave up on this one. Ya reaps whats ya sow, bizzatch. I'm suprised James just didn't take the balls and fling them at her head.
If there was a way everyone could lose, I would proclaim this my favorite show.
10 of 12 | Posted by die_media_whores | Posted on November 20, 2007 11:43 AM
Well since you reprimand us when we disagree with you, I'll just say. . .
11 of 12 | Posted by geewits | Posted on November 21, 2007 12:21 AM
heeey. new Survivor recap anytime sooon?
12 of 12 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on December 5, 2007 11:39 AM