Kota returns to camp with its new members in tow. Randy worries about the fact that there are now 3 old Fang members to the 4 old Kota members on his new tribe. He thinks that if they lose, one of his old tribemates will be getting the boot. "If it's not me, I'll just go with it, but if it is, I will burn this camp down." For those of you keeping score at home, this brings the total number of things that Randy has in common with Left Eye to one.

S17E4006.jpg

Don't go chasing waterfalls, especially when you have a brain injury.

Over at Exile Island, Sugar readily chooses the key to the hut since she already has the idol. She lounges on some pillows and helps herself to a giant bowl of fruit, reveling in the fact that she gets to sit out the game for awhile. In her ideal world, Fang loses so that she can be with Ace, and then choose to vote out Kelly so that she can replace her. "That's what'll happen. They're not idiots," she portends into the camera, because the person who was chosen last should always deride the usefulness of others.

Back at Fang, GC tells us how happy he is to have a majority and to enjoy safety for the time being. It is at this point that I realize that there are absolutely no likable people on the new Fang tribe. I mean, Jacquie seems nice but she's kind of a blank space in my brain, and so is Matty. Everyone else can go eat it. And yes, Ken is guilty by association. Anyone who chooses to hang out with GC and Crystal over Randy and Dan is suspect, in my opinion. So...Kota FTW!

Crystal attempts to size up the new tribe members, asking Kelly and Jacquie whether they got along well with their old tribe members, since it always appeared to Fang that Kota was a big lovefest. Kelly tells her that it was always her and Paloma by themselves, and everyone else excluded them. Jacquie tries to correct her in a very politically correct way, but Kelly has none of it. The second Jacquie steps away, Kelly immediately starts calling them fake in her terrible, grammatically ambiguous way. She ultimately outright tells them that she's willing to switch sides without hesititation. Ken is overjoyed that he made the right decision, mostly because "Kelly is hot". I wonder if he has an HD TV?

Over at Kota, they receive a treemail that comes with a lacross stick. Marcus tells us that Randy's future pretty much depends on his success in this immunity challenge: if he does badly, he'll get voted out before Susie, but if he does well, he can stick around for awhile. Marcus shows Randy and Susie how to work the lacrosse stick while dressed like a member of Coldplay.

S17E4007.jpg

Immunity Challenge! A rectangular playing field roped off in the water, and each contestant will get a little raft and a lacrosse stick which will double as a paddle. There are goals at each end of the course, and the first player to use their sticks to score three goals on their opponent wins. Once the contest begins, it becomes apparent that this challenge is horribly designed. Most of the contestants can't even move their rafts (including many of the strong ones) and just sort of float in one place, unable to go anywhere. Jeff throws the ball into the center of the court and the players have to start at the ends of the field, so it takes ten minutes for them to get to the center and control the ball. People are unable to catch the ball with their sticks because it takes a level of skill possessed only by actual lacrosse players, so people are mostly flailing about trying in vain to get the ball to balance on their paddles. It's just an ugly mess, and frankly a poor showing by the challenge designers.

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Comments (18)

cattyfan:

Congratulations on the New job!

Great recap as always. But have you noticed when Ace gets angry or really frustrated, he loses his accent all together?

All Fang must go...

Carawatches2muchTV:

Great recap, as always, Schoon.
One note on the raft challenge...I think the whole key was the Hah-uge rudder on the bottom of the circular tube...I think those who figured out how to position themselves and point the rudder in the direction they wanted to go (as opposed to trying to row "sideways" against it) were the successful ones... and dare I say, the smart ones.

dani2526:

Funny ass recap! Thanks!

I also noted that Ace's accent went in and out throughout the episode...you'd just think that if he was faking, he'd let the cameras know in private, right??

I want to see a bit more of the physics guy. He was an early favorite of mine...perhaps being low on the radar is a good thing.

Crystal needs to go.

AnnieO:

Speaking of Bob the physics guy, I would like to see a bit more of him too. The poor man is positively skeletal!
I can't beleive they let someone that thin on this show, where you eat practically nothing for up to a month. Even though I like him, I almost hope he goes soon, before he starves to death.

Great recap, Schoon. But please, consider reranking your mother. After all, she did tie your shoes!

schoonie:

Usually when you don't see a lot of someone in the beginning, that's a good sign. It means they make it pretty far, in general. There are exceptions (Jenn from Palau), but for the most part, if you like the guy, you want to have no idea who the hell he is until ep 6 or so.

itchy:

I'm thinking 'Ace' is South African...like when he's calm, he's able to maintain the more British pronunciation, but when he's agitated, it clips into the Afrikaner pronunciation. Could be possible that he's Dutch or Scandinavian too.

Huge disappointment so far this season. On any other reality show, I like the contestants when they're utter losers. But for Survivor, I like to see actual smart people.

I think Ken's playing it close to the vest, but is actually quite shrewd and that the spinless follower thing is an act. He's a gamer-- picking Kelly was great strategy.

And Sugar should continue to reinforce to people that she's dumb and not a threat-- too bad for her she's rejoining Ace's tribe.

Schoonie-- where did the turkey rank? Hee hee!

itchy:

Spineless, not 'spinless'.

Damn, I wish this site had an edit function. Difficult to type straight while I'm waiting for the coffee to kick in.

Snootchy Bootches:

Yeah, Ace TOTALLY dropped the accent in the confessional where he was bitching about Kelly! He is such a poser!!

Oh and I was waiting for one of the new Fang members to make a comment like, "Man, you guys ate all of your rice!" lol That would have been classic.

here4beer:

schoonie, I live for your recaps. Hilarious and spot on, as usual.

@ itchy- no way is Ace S African. That old lady who got booted second had a very distinct SA accent, and Ace sounds nothing like her. I think he is just an American who's lived abroad a while so he thinks he has the right to talk like a Brit, which he forgets to do consistently. He is the most unlikeable Survivor since Lisa IMO.

mrsc:

Thanks for the awesome recap! Although I disagree, Ken picked Kelly because he thought she was hot. And if he is going to get a kiss from a girl, he knows the odds of it happening on a remote location is better than his real life. Ah, one can dream right?

I really think you should try out for Survivor Schoonie. Your game play rocks! I appreciate you're sharing it, I am just not that good.

soapboxx:

Hey Carawatches2muchTV I didn't even notice the rudder thingy but I would like to think I would have noticed it if I was ON the raft. That makes alot more sense to me now though how some of the peeps were able to manuever and others just twirled like Cheerios in milk. LOL at "I quit,brain!" Thanks for that one Schoon. I don't really remember much from my wisdom teeth removal, they were all impacted and the total Percodan count was 60. Actually I lost a whole month there HAHA. Since these contestants couldn't find the rudders on their rafts does that make them eligible as future non-clue reading Amazing Race contestants? Oh yeah and Ace only speaks Doucheonian. He's from the land of Douche where he is not king but is actually considered a douche bag by all the other douches.

itchy:

Well, he's definitely not British, at least we can all agree on that.

Interesting character though, if he can somehow manage not to get voted out soon (which seems unlikely given the boobs he's with).

Yeah, they should do a Survivor season featuring all the various recappers from around the 'net. Schoonie would kick some serious ass.

JustJesse:

AnnieO: Do you not remember Courtney from Survivor China? She was RIDICULOUSLY thin and she made it to the very end of the game...

And as far as Ace's "accent" goes, it made me think of another show that I watch. Kevin on "Brothers and Sisters" does not have an accent on the show, but when I watched a special about the show itself, he was speaking with a very strong accent... Why would he do that if we all know on the show he doesn't speak with an accent? Just something that's puzzling to me...

lonebutterfly:

Off-topic from Survivor - but JustJesse...what do you mean about a "special about the show". If you mean when he wasn't playing a character, then of course he has an accent. Matthew Rhys (the actor who plays "Kevin") is from the UK, his first language was Welsh, not English, especially not American English...

Technically, that would mean he's faking an accent every time he plays "Kevin".

JustJesse:

Lonebutterfly,

When I said a special about the show, I meant a special about the show. It was like a behind the scenes thing that aired before the start of last season. I thought it was interesting because on that, he had an accent, but on the show, he doesn't. I guess that just goes to show how easy it is to fake an accent, which everyone seems to think Ace is doing. That's all I was getting at...

itchy:

Plenty of actors adopt an American accent for the US market -- Mel Gibson, Nicole Kidman, that hot South African actress (can't remember the name, too dazzled by the way she looks) plenty more. And Brits have been singing with American accents for decades. It's probably easier to flatten out a British/Australian/South African accent than it is for us to adopt a convincing British accent. Although I do a mean Southern drawl when I'm not speaking like a Jersey dockworker.

Oh and that old lady had an Anglo South African accent -- much different from an Afrikaaner accent. That's why I still think Ace might be from there.

fycin:

Well, this is what Ace claims according to his insufferable Survivor bio: "Born in New York but raised in London, Ace attended the prestigious Hill House School in Knightsbridge. His privileged background and world travels lead Gordon to mockingly state, "I'm probably better than you and highly more [sic] educated." It seems that most of the bios this year are equally obnoxious, for example, Corinne. I was thinking she was all right, except for the strange business suit attire decision, but after reading her bio, I'm no longer a fan. Also, this might be one of the first years where I think most of them are lying about their ages.

Mr Dangerous:

I miss James. This season of SURVIVOR needs some MEN like him.

As for GC. HATE that bitch.
Crystal: She's got an attitude.
Ken: He's an idiot. Like any girl is ever going to give him the time of day or a fluffing.

Randy: He's turning out to be a pretty good player. I'm still on TEAM RANDY but I like that Dan too.

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