Testimonials

And now, the creepiest moment of the finale. Probst tells JT that he has a present for him, and of course it is his tooth from that challenge where it got knocked out. That is creepy, Probst. Can't you just see him lighting candles around, like, a tooth altar, with swatches of his clothes stolen from the set and pictures of JT ripped from various magazines all taped to the wall and shit?

Probst asks him again if he wants the tooth back. "It's still completely useless to me, but I'm sure my mom might want it," JT says, probably creeped the fuck out. Probst uses this as an excuse to go out into the audience and talk to JT's mom, who is so, so nervous to be on camera. She says she's very proud of him and that she told him for three years he could do this. JT has an encouraging mother? Insightful! Riveting! Apparently, she also filled out the application for the show for him, but don't worry about asking her about that or anything, because that might be, you know, interesting.

Now that the creepy yearbook signing portion of the show is over, Probst returns to Taj. He says that she was one of the biggest surprises to him, because people absolutely love her. How is that a shock? Taj is awesome! Probst shows an old picture of SWV, and then he misidentifies her in the photo. Wow, that is embarrassing for him. Hey, show him a picture of some Asians and see if he can guess which one is Ken from last season!

I'm curious whether the other people on the show had any idea about the whole SWV thing while she was there, but we're apparently not going to find that out either. She shows off all of the bites and scars on her body from the bugs in Brazil. "My skin was my greatest asset!" she says, half-kidding. Probst goes out into the audience to talk to Eddie George, who is wearing a "Team Taj" shirt. He says a lot more really nice things about his wife, and you can tell that they really are in love. Probst asks how Eddie was able to start a fire so quickly back at Exile Island, and Taj gives him a bit of good-natured ribbing from the stage about how he was a Royal Ranger. Could they be any more awesome?

Tyson. Montage of Tyson being naked and having one joke to tell, over and over again. Probst asks what the Mormons think about his "meanness" on the show: he says that the people that actually talk to him in public love him, but that there are probably people somewhere that don't like him. "Great are always loved or hated. Jesus, for instance," he says, smiling. Did Jesus have that terrible moustache too?

Sierra, what did it feel like to be hated by everyone, ever? Sierra says that it was hard (duh), and then she starts talking and talking and crying and makes no sense at all. I'm starting to understand why these people always looked at her funny while she spoke at Tribal Council: it's because I have no idea what she's saying, but she also won't stop making that face. It's the combination.

She talks about how she was the one who actually "slayed the dragon" by calling Coach out about lying, and the whole time stupid Debbie's all hugging her and mugging for the camera in the shot, and it's all pretty gross. And, to make things worse: time to talk to Coach!

Coach gets not one, but two montages of his insanity between commercial breaks. Probst asks Coach what about how people on the street react to him, and he says that the people who know him understand that he has an eccentric side, and he like "making his mark". The whole time he speaks, the cameramen are catching all these live reaction shots of Erinn and Brendan rolling their eyes and laughing, which is pretty impressive. Real time disdain!

Probst asks Coach about the midget kidnapping story, which causes the cast to burst into fits of laughter. "Well, when you speak the truth, you have to tell it no matter what. There was something nagging about telling that story." Probst says that he offered to give him a lie detector test, but that he curiously said no.

"What would that have proven?" Coach says. "Well, some would say that a lie detector test would prove whether you're telling a lie or not," Probst says with pretty perfect comic timing.

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Posted in Survivor by Schoonie at 9:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: Mr Dangerous on Jun 4, 2009 10:47 AM.