While Timbira is getting the treemail about the upcoming reward challenge, Brendan tells us that he hasn't had a chance to talk to Sierra about the secret four way alliance. You haven't "had a chance" to tell someone about an alliance that's your best opportunity to get to the end of the game? That seems like an idiotic decision. Obviously he doesn't want to be dragging Sierra off into the woods in front of everyone, but I'd pretty much put "tell the blonde girl about the alliance that will get me the win" at the top of my To Do list, especially when there's a reward challenge deadline involved.

S184003.jpg

"I also forgot to vote last time I went to Tribal Council."

Reward Challenge. They're bringing back an old favorite from the Australia (and Pearl Islands) seasons, where three members of the tribe essentially put a pole across their shoulders and are given larger and larger amounts of weight by the other tribe. The last person left standing wins the reward for their tribe, which is a camp raid; the winning tribe gets to send two of its members to the other camp, and any two items can be stolen.

Bearing the weight for Jalapao is Joe, Taj and JT, while Debra, Brendan and Tyson take the weight for Timbira. If you're wondering why the ladies are there, it's because Probst made the rule that two men and one woman must bear the weight for each team. During each round, one person gets 20 pounds added to their weight, and the other tribe decides where it goes, so there is a fair amount of strategy involved with this challenge. Both tribes put a lot of weight on the males to start, and then the girls get a bit of weight later.

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You will note that Coach has not taken this opportunity to show how much stronger he is than Brendan.

Brendan is the first one to reach the 200 pound mark, by which point he is visibly struggling to remain upright. Stupid Jeff uses this as an excuse to bring up stupid jerkbag Rupert, who apparently holds the record in a challenge which has been done a grand total of three times. If you'll remember, Rupert made good use of the attention he was receiving during the challenge to scream intensely like a huge asshole and then wait expectantly back at camp afterwards for everyone to heap praise upon him.

Once Brendan has the next twenty pounds placed on his back, he drops the weight and is eliminated from the challenge first. Tyson drops out soon afterwards, leaving only Debra still in the game for Timbira. It's looking like Jalapao is going to take home another challenge, but then JT drops out, followed right behind by Joe, so now it's a showdown between Taj and Debra, unexpectedly. Now is probably a good time as any to note that Taj has been tying her one piece jumpsuit thing up right at her crotch, and it looks...unnatural.

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'Nuff Said

Debra eventually falls as well when her weight is upped to 140, which has got to be at least 30 pounds more than she herself weighs, and is also is the same amount of weight Tyson had when he dropped out, so that's pretty impressive. Taj is gracious enough to applaud her and tell her what a good job she did, running right over to give her a hug and comfort her. In my brain, Debra's like "Hey, aren't you that chick from SWV?" once she sees her up close.

Jalapao (or rather, Taj, it appears) chooses to send Sierra to Exile Island, who then turns right around and selects Taj to come with her. "That was not the plan," Taj's face clearly says, despite the fact that she sells it moderately well by calling Sierra a variety of mean names.

Back at camp, Timbira worries over what Jalapao is going to take from them. Their main concern is that both bags of beans are going to get stolen, which will leave them with nothing to eat. Well, except rice, and the thousand other things that Jalapao has been eating this entire time. When JT and Joe show up to take stuff, Tyson is not happy: "On one hand, you have to be nice to these people because you'll probably have to live with then down the line, but in the back of your mind, you like, 'I wanna punch these guys in the head.'" Tyson writes his own jokes. There is no need for me here.

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Comments (44)

pixielated:

Wow, I can't tell you how much it pains me to defend Coach, but the definition of the word "sultry" includes: 1) Very hot and humid; 2) Extremely hot; torrid; 3) Sensual; voluptuous.

So he was using the word correctly. (Ouch! That hurt!)

Isn't he looking more and more like a crazy homeless man every week? His eyes are so weird. He looks a lot older than 37.

Pixielated:

As for "sulky," it can mean "Gloomy; dismal" but that is a lot less commonly used.

Sorry!

xqzmoi:

"The Inverse Property Of Steve-O" LOL! Did anybody else think that Tyson just gave up during the reward challenge? He seems to have taken a page or two from Richard Hatch's original Survivor playbook.

And how big of an idiot is Brendan? Taj must be wondering what sort of loser she hooked up with. Can't wait to see how this secret alliance plays out.

schoonie:

Yeah, I knew that 'sulky' was used appropriately, but I thought that 'sultry' only had the overt sexual meaning.

Damn, and now my life has been made better because of Coach. If anyone needs me, I'll just be over in the corner committing hara-kiri.

geewits:

Hmmm, no mention of Taj talking too much at tribal council? I was worried about that and think it will come back to haunt her. She was basically saing "I have NO worries, I AM SAFE." I like her so I hope this doesn't get her in trouble.

itchy:

Tyson is one nasty piece of work...a true snake. At least when he's talking to the camera. I'm looking forward to finding out if he really can walk the walk. For the moment, he does not much.

I'm more a fan of the Sierra type of beauty --and have you noticed there's always a blurred spot between her legs? What do you think she's showing to the others?

Taj seems to be the only one really playing a smart game-- the jury's still out on Stephen, who clearly has to be much brighter and less naive than he's pretending.

And each week Brendan confirms a little more that he just got lucky with the granola business. What a pothead.

briar:

Anyone else notice Coach hanging back in the immunuty challenge? He only made one run while everyone else made several. He loves to talk the talk but he sure as hell can't walk the walk. I hate him.

BlahBlah:

I believe JT meant that it would be stupid of him to steal of the other tribe's beans only to find out he has to switch to that tribe later and be beanless, aka without food.

here4beer:

schoonie, great recap as always!! I, too, was confused by Taj's vote for Joe. She's overconfident if she doesn't think that's going to come back to haunt her later.

Coach is the most loathesome person ever to appear on TV, and I watched the OJ trial, watched Lisa fall many times (and laughed each and every sweet, sweet time) AND I watched the entire Flavor of Love series, so I feel I'm highly qualified to make that statement.

ChiGal1962:

"Sandy is the reason 'According to Jim' still exists."

Ah yes... now we know the culprit! Makes perfect sense.

Great recap, Schoonie! Love the Exile Island alliance as a concept - not sure these people can pull it off. But we'll see.

Mr Dangerous:

As a gay man it's hard for me to tell the difference between Sandy and who? There's somebody named Sydney on the show? They look the same to me but if you say one's hotter I'll take your word for it. My question is, "When did it start to matter, to straight men, what a lady looked like?" I thought the question was always, "Will she do me?"

I don't hate coach. I tend to pity him. He wants to be something he's not and never will be. That's just sad. I DO wonder why he doesn't participate more in these "mano y mano" challenges. Why is Tyson doing the weight challenge? Shouldn't Coach be doing it? Maybe, Coach is waiting for a musical challenge? Could that be it?

Tyson needs to keep his clothes on. He's really unattractive. The only guys who can take their clothes off are JT, Brendan, Smitten guy and Spencer. Everybody else on this island needs to keep covered up at all times and some of them (the ladies in particular) need to put MORE clothes on. (And let me tell you something I don't even want to think about the blurred spot between Sierra's legs. She needs to cover that thing up! Oy.)

NegativeNancy:

This was the most boring lame Survivor episode ever. I don't care about any of the contestants this season but at least I do hate Coach. With so many players kind of the same age and attractiveness, it reminds me a bit of Big Brother, only Big Brother does it better. Your recaps are a thousand percent better than the show this season so I think I might quit watching and just read about it here.

itchy:

Now, now, Mr. Dangerous, most straight guys will show a definite preference for nubile young models of prime breeding age over a crinkly old popeyed hillbilly who's old enough to be someone's grandma.

Although there's a fetish for everyone, it seems.

But yeah, we do think a lot about that blurred spot between their legs...ah the sweet mysteries of life...

I agree, Coach is definitely more pathetic than hateful. I'm reserving the hate for Tyson--from everything he says (considering he doesn't actually do anything either) he's a true scumbag.

Timberwolf:

Mr. Dangerous: itchy stole some of my thunder, but how long have you been living on planet Gay (said in love, really!)? I totally can't relate to liking men, but even I can tell the difference between a James and a Chet. Sydney is total hotness, and they already voted off the other two hotnesses (looks can only get you so far!). Please, oh please don't make us watch an all-homely cast of critters!

All in all, my favorite so far is Taj.

Timberwolf:

Itchy: "crinkly old popeyed hillbilly"

Hahahaha!

Every time I see Sandy, all I can think of is Schoonie's first couple of recaps this season and "This Is Brutal!!"

Mr Dangerous:

Timberwolf:

Well, I admit to being in my mid-30s. That means I've been on Planet Gay for 30-some years. BTW; we live on the same planet so, uh, you're on Planet Gay too. (It's alright. You can stay. We need a few straight-ees.)

Itchy:

You should have used that "crinkly old popeyed hillbilly" phrase earlier. Schoonie would have stole it cause that's WAY TOO GOOD not to steal.

Timberwolf:

Dangerous: Touche!

2muchbravo:

Yeah, I agree with a couple of you that Sandy's Sydney comments came out of nowhere. I hadn't even really noticed her (or her drawers). But, who wears jeans to the Amazon, or where ever they are? OTOH, they could machete the legs off. But, I think Sydney looks cute in Jockey shorts.
The only redeeming quality I can find in Tyson is that he seems to be letting Coach think he's all that and that Tyson is into his 'asst coach' BS. Since everyone must know that Coach is all talk and no action by now, why doesn't someone say, "YOU'RE the cancer in the tribe, Dude! Maybe if you had worked alittle harder we wouldn't have lost that challenge!"
And, am I the only person who isn't familiar with Taj's pop fame from her previous life? I've got no idea who SWV are. Did have hits? What kind of music did they sing?
Oh,well. Looking forward to a more exciting episode next week.

pixielated:

I think Coach stopped being a villain last week when he lost it at tribal council and all the other tribe members laughed at his pathetic need to be the leader. He's a wimp. A real villain needs to be stronger.

Tyson is trying hard to be Richard Hatch, from the nudity to the "games-manship." It was his alliances that won it for him, though. And I don't think he would win today.

Sydney's more seductive behavior could have been edited out. We'll see what happens from now on.

BlahBlah:

Yes, 2muchbravo, you're the only one who doesn't know.

Youtube SWV. Taj used to be the hot one! lol

They had several hits in the early to late 90's (and 4 non-greatest hits albums) although the MAINSTREAM audience (*cough* Schoonie *cough*) only seem to know about the song "Weak", probably their biggest pop hit.

BlahBlah:

Sweet, sweet trivia:

They have also gone on to sell over 15 million albums worldwide and 27 million including singles.[citation needed] SWV is also the third highest selling R&B girl group in the world.

They didn't sell all of those albums off of one song, SCHOONIE.

BlahBlah:

Sorry, I'm upset that SWV doesn't get enough credit. They were awesome! And I love Taj. She's one of the nicest celebs I have ever met (and I've met many). She was nice during the SWV heyday and still seems just as nice.

Quite a few current artists have sampled/covered SWV's music without much tribute.

Leona Lewis
JoJo
Chingy
Tyrese
And more...

schoonie:

Geez, I had no idea people were so defensive about the music of SWV!

Don't get all weak in the knees about it.

God, I'm hilarious.

Mr Dangerous:

Uh, I never heard of them (SWV) either but in the early 90s I was listening to Madonna and other BIG ARTISTS but Taj seems very nice.

Mr Dangerous:

Oh, I liked that Prince in the early 90s too. Can you imagine Madonna and Prince on SURVIVOR. I would watch that season.

nyc cookie:

Thank you Schoonie--you are so prompt! Oh I just realized that I taped this on my DVR and just watched it last night! Doesn't change my opinion of your excellent recap.
This will earn me no fans, but I LOVE coach. He is too funny. Look, you've got to have characters on this show to make it fun--and he fits the bill to a T!
I will also miss Sandy and her big personality--oops just farted, must be the beans, anyway sure that other chick looks good, but personality-0.
Personally, I am still mourning the loss of Jerry.
Thanks for giving a long time lurker and a first time poster a place to be me. XOXO

nyc cookie:

Hi again,
Sorry to post so soon, but you guys seem to have great insight. I have a slight problem/situation.
OK here it is. I need help naming my puppy. We had 3 morkies and decided to keep one. The boy we name Elvis--born on his b-day--easy choice. The two girls were called Sassy and Sweetie based on personality traits. We kept Sweetie--but she is more playful and destructive than sweet. Anyway, never meant to keep one, but feel in love. Do not feel the same way about the name. Can you guys (please, please, please) suggest another name. I love old movies if that helps--the mom is named
Vivian after Vivian Leigh and she has some serious mental problems.
Thanks so much,
XOXO

J-Mo:

Oooh! I have inane SWV trivia! Initially the three members of the group (Taj, LeLe & Coko) were going to call their group TLC, but Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins, Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes and Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas had already taken that name for their group, so Taj & Co were stuck thinking up something just as catchy... and that's how we wound up with SWV, which at first I thought was pronounced "Swuvv".

Anyhow, Schoonie, great job on this recap, I'm so happy that I can follow what's going on with a show I don't even watch (for a change!) I'm so into you!

love will be right here,

J-Mo :)

miss tint:

Was anyone else suprised that Taj went ahead and told Sierra about the alliance?
For all she knew something had happened and Brendan had changed his mind about Sierra.

BlahBlah:

JMo, you're the only one I've heard share that random SWV trivia. My opinion of you just went up lots of notches because of your ability to cleverly work in non-Weak SWV HITS into your comment. I guess it's human nature for people to dismiss what they don't know much about. Or they'd rather rain on the parade with their triflin comments. Those types of people can go downtown and kiss where there's no sunshine. They're not always on my mind, so...until the next episode.

*This comment is dedicated to those people with eclectic musical tastes who are able to count all of the SWV-related references.*

itsCleo:

nyc cookie - what about Lucy as in Lucielle Ball?

Here's hoping Taj and her secret alliance go all the way.

schoonie:

Blahblah, that was so well put, I can hardly speak!

Kidding, of course. BTW, my musical tastes are fairly eclectic. And I can prove it!

last.fm/user/schoonie

schoonie:

Another little known fact about SWV: When Taj, LeLe & Coko fought bravely in World War II, they violated The Geneva Convention several times and were not punished.

schoonie:

One! More! Thing! About SWV:

Did you know that SWV wrote the scripts for the final episodes of Mash, Seinfeld, AND Cheers, using only lyrics from their lesser known songs? It's true.

nyc cookie:

itsCleo

Thank you so much! I love Lucy! That name is so perfect because she always has some splaining to do!

I also am rooting for the Taj alliance!
XOXO


BlahBlah:

Well known fact:
Schoonie can kiss my ass.

BlahBlah:

And while you're down there, I hope you find some more sh*tty jokes to match the other crap you've been writing.

briar:

blahblah you might want to think about changing your name to wahwah. Or maybe just get a life. Schoonie rules.

itscleo:

nyc cookie - So glad you liked my suggestion! Let's hope your Lucy gets in a little less trouble than her namesake! :)

ThisShowRocks!:

WHOA! I think "someone" hit a nerve.

Blahblah must be a former member of this group. Who else would get so upset over this?

schoonie:

Did you know that in 1994, SWV rerecorded the Thriller Album, in it's entirety, note for note? Due to copyright violations, it could not be released in North America, but it went on to sell twice the number of copies that the original sold, except only in Yugoslavian countries. Seriously, look that shit up!

J-Mo:

*gasp* I think I remember when SWV did that... was it before they cured polio and after they ReUnified Germany? Or vice-versa?

love, J-Mo :)

P.S. I still buy the SWV Health Tonic! Chock full 'o' vitamins and minerals, and it tastes just like candy! Mmmmmm!

schoonie:

J-Mo, you're getting confused about the polio thing because Marie Curie used to be a member of SWV, and she cured several diseases (well, not polio, but still). It's kind of like Destiny's Child, where they kicked her out after the first album.

ThisShowRocks!:

All these facts are lost on me.
Until Taj joined "Survivor," I'd never even HEARD of SWV.

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