Okay, so this season is now officially awesome.
Back from the Eliza Tribal Council, the people who still had no idea that Ozzy had the idol (Natalie, Alexis, Cirie) are all talking about how they were pretty terrified that something awful was going to happen once Eliza got up. Cirie tells us about how Eliza got up with a big smirk on her face, all proud of herself and sure she had the idol, which is TOTAL revisionist history and not at all what happened, obviously. Cirie then tells us that Eliza outing Ozzy as the idol holder sort of made her think about how nice it would be to have both Ozzy and the idol out of the game. So, that decision to craft a fake idol, how's that working out for you, Ozzy?
After the credits (and after Jason makes in incredibly dumb statement in which he refers to himself as "godlike", because he is an idiot), we're planted directly into the reward challenge. The contestants will be divided into two teams of four (meaning that the last person picked will be heading to Exile Island), and those teams will have to swim out into the ocean and through a ropes course to a puzzle on the other end. The players will have to memorize the symbols on the puzzle and duplicate it back at the beginning. The team that gets the puzzle completed first will be taken to the island of Yap (which is a real community in the fictional country of Micronesia), where they will be treated to a feast and get to spend the night with the locals, and also (I'm hoping) be able to refer to some of the regional food as "Dabu" and receive several quizzical looks from the villagers.
After the teams are chosen (Natalie, Alexis, James and Parvati against Ozzy, Erik, Jason and Amanda, with Cirie headed to Exile Island), the challenge begins. Parvati does an excellent job memorizing like five symbols on her first go-round, but her team loses ground when James takes his sweet time staring at the board and then returns to place...one symbol on the board. Wow, what a juggernaut that guy is in challenges. FEEL HIS POWER! I got into a drunk discussion at the bar this weekend with one of my friends who was like, "James is the coolest person ever, and he completely dominates everyone" and was like "Actually, that is completely false. Watch closely and you will see that he is mediocre, at best." I mean, it came out a lot more slurred and there was more cussing, and I spilled PBR all over the place while I was gesturing wildly, but my point was made.
James and Parvati's team calls Jeff over first to check their puzzle, but they get one small detail wrong and the rules stipulate that you have to send someone back out before you can submit your answers again. The other team takes a look at their board and compares it to their own (which seems lame in a challenge all about memory, but whatever), corrects some things, and Ozzy and his Fan Club win the reward. Maybe they will all be able teach the locals the ways of Ozzy when they visit, and possibly to erect some sort of shrine to him, kind of like that episode of The Simpsons where Homer becomes a missionary. I wonder if Ozzy believes in Jeebus?
Back from commercial, the winners load into the helicopter to be taken on their reward. Predictably, Jason makes an asinine comment from the front seat of the aircraft, where the others have placed him to keep him as far away from them as possible, and also so that they can use his body as a human shield in the event of a head-on collision. As they arrive at the village, Erik makes all sorts of predictably wide-eyed comments of the variety that make you want to punch him in the head. And then, of course, wise and benevolent Ozzy has to be all "It is wonderful to watch Erik experience all of these things for the first time just as I did so long ago, before I became all-knowing and omniscient." They get to feast and enjoy some of the local culture, which includes shirtless women. "That's probably the most boobs I've ever seen in my life." Erik tells us. What, does scooping ice cream for a living not come with a lot of groupies? Someone needs to give out a lot more free Rocky Road.
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Comments (15)
I was so mad! I love love love Ozzy. And James TOLD HIM! James told him and he apparently didn't hear it. (When James said about "Poverty," Naw man, she's all about girl power." James TOLD HIM. Arrrgh. Good for Cirie though, because there she was not picked for a team, sent to exile and came back and orchestrated this giant maneuver. I'm hoping it makes people see Parvati as untrustworthy and I'm wondering how Miss. Strong Amanda is going to bounce back from this. It really was a great episode and they should submit this one for the emmy and if they don't win "Best Reality Competition Show" I bet $100 they win "Best Editing, Reality Competition Show."
1 of 15 | Posted by geewits | Posted on April 23, 2008 12:48 AM
Schoonie, this was one of the top 10 Survivor episodes of all time, and I was greatly anticipating your recap. You did not disappoint. I can't wait for tomorrow to watch as James realizes he's totally screwed, and goes from antagonizing the girls to fanning them with palm fronds to buy himself a few more days in the game . . LOL!
2 of 15 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on April 23, 2008 5:58 AM
wow, Wow, WOW! What a fantastic episode!
I've hated that smug Ozzie from the beginning, and FINALLY, he's gone. Bleh, good riddance!
There are seriously no words for this...
And the reactions were priceless!
I'm with you, Schoonie - I normally hate the jury mugging for the cameras, but I think Eliza was genuinely stunned by the outcome. Everyone was...even those who voted Ozzie. I just think they couldn't believe they actually pulled it off.
And Parvati looked like she was going to vomit when she voted.
Ah, good stuff! One of the top Survivor episodes of all time.
Thanks for the recap, Schoonie.
3 of 15 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on April 23, 2008 6:36 AM
So glad to see Sir Cocky get it. Great episode. I was not an Ozzy fan this season. He really thought his caca didn't stink.
He really sealed the deal in his final words. What a whiny bitch. I hate when people whine about being lied to when THEIR own lying backfired.
Great job, Cirie. You're officially back in my good graces.
4 of 15 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on April 23, 2008 6:55 AM
I think Ozzy's comments in the post-snuffing interview were hilarious. Such a sense of self-riteousness. I was waiting for him to say, "how dare they get rid of me! Don't they know who I am?!!!"
5 of 15 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on April 23, 2008 6:58 AM
Just as an aside, I read at tvguide.com that Ozzy has bad shoulders which was why he quit the immunity challenge so willy nilly. I like Ozzy and think he's a great player, but if he doesn't have immunity around his neck, he should have been prepared for the boot any chance they had.
6 of 15 | Posted by SeriousStyle | Posted on April 23, 2008 7:12 AM
Great recap Schoonie!!
I can't help it, I still like Jason.
Ozzie's ouster was awesome!!!
7 of 15 | Posted by Clair | Posted on April 23, 2008 8:40 AM
That was the best Survivor episode of all time! And a terrific recap to boot. (Although I am still not a Poverty fan.)Great screencaps, especially the go to hell from Ozzy. I disagree about the fake idol. That had to be the funniest thing ever- "this is the idol... it has a FACE on it" God that still has me laughing. I don't think Eliza pipping up with her, "OzzyhasitOzzyhastheidol!!!" made anyone think, "you know... now that Eliza mentions it, Ozzy might have the idol." Whould they think carved that? Crazy eyes?
Cirie is setting herself to win this. I hope she does, that was some awesome gameplay. And thanks Schoonie, never thought about the crossed fingers- making others feel better to lie- plan of hers. Bet you are right on about that.
Loved Ozzy, but he was getting way too cocky. Which led to him not playing the idol. I guess this is what Jeff P was referring to when he said there was a contestant who made a bigger mistake than James (or something like that).
8 of 15 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on April 23, 2008 9:02 AM
I'm all about the girl power in this season because I'm horribly annoyed by all the guys.
I loved ozzy last time he was on, I think because he was the underdog with that Yul/becky/whatshername alliance and I hated that aaron eckhart douche. as a front runner, however, ozzy proved his douchiness. His little convo with the camera after the snuffing was so funny "whoever voted in out my alliance, I pretty much hate you right now." Oh cry me a river oscar.
I loved Yul though...so much. I told my husband that Yul was on the "list"--you know, the "it's not cheating if its _______"
9 of 15 | Posted by lawyerjenn | Posted on April 23, 2008 9:28 AM
Ozzy may have been cocky, but he was usually pretty good at backing it up. He made two critical mistakes; creating the fake idol and not playing the real one at tribal council.
My favorite is now Amanda. For no particular reason other than I think she's hot.
10 of 15 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on April 23, 2008 11:15 AM
OMG what a great episode!
I used to love Ozzy, but this season he was so freaking annoying with his attitude. As if he thought everyone would just hand him the win.
The best part was when Ozzy was basically making fun of Jason for trusting people, but then he got voted out for the same reason lol.
And his exit comments were like that of a 12 year old. "You suck, I hate you, nah nah nah". I can't stand him anymore.
Go Amanda/Cirie!
11 of 15 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on April 23, 2008 11:32 AM
Excellent episode and top notch recap!
This I both love and can fully relate to: " I mean, it came out a lot more slurred and there was more cussing, and I spilled PBR all over the place while I was gesturing wildly, but my point was made." LOL
I too loved ozzy during his season, but he was just a tool this time -- a way, way overconfident tool. I was glad to see him go. Sign me up on the girl power train! Go Amanda!
12 of 15 | Posted by zbird | Posted on April 23, 2008 5:03 PM
Oh, and just to clarify: I liked Ozzy in his season, but I looooved Yul. He's what this season really needs, but of course he'd dominate them all with his mind-control powers and the whole game would be over in a matter of minutes ;)
Oh, and JasonR, this made me LOL: I can't wait for tomorrow to watch as James realizes he's totally screwed, and goes from antagonizing the girls to fanning them with palm fronds to buy himself a few more days in the game.
Maybe he'll peel grapes for them too. I actually, for the first time, had Parvati love this time, in addition to my Cirie like, Alexis like, and overarching Amanda love. I want that girl to win! I hope she watched her pathetic jury spiel from her season and learned a few lessons on what NOT to do.
13 of 15 | Posted by zbird | Posted on April 23, 2008 5:28 PM
"I'm guessing that when you starve for twenty days and then enjoy a Micronesian feast, and your body tells you that it's time to take the slow train to Deucetown, there is no delaying the departure at that point, if you know what I'm saying."
You are going to get me fired! LMAO
14 of 15 | Posted by Tadow | Posted on April 24, 2008 6:47 AM
I liked OZZIE so much the first go around. Not so much this go around. I think it was his smuggness thoughout the last couple of episodes that made me turn on him.
Ozzie got what he deserved. I want to see James' reaction tonight. James better start being nice.
15 of 15 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on April 24, 2008 12:38 PM